Taramere Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I went on a date last sunday.It was a dinner date and I suggested we split the bill when it arrived. He insisted that he is paying. I offered to buy the next round of drinks. He insisted he would pay for that too. So next day he asks if there will be a second date and I told him that I had a good evening but we were not compatible. So he reacts angrily by telling me to pay my half of the bill and he will forward his bank details. I have blocked him. Unbelievable He sounds like that guy Darren Sherman whose story was doing the rounds some years back. He took a woman out, paid, then when she didn't call he sent her an email invoicing her for half of the restaurant bill. When she didn't pay, he tried to get the restaurant to refund $50 to him and charge her for the $50 - but I think they refused. He also left her voicemails. "You ate the food, you drank the wine, be a mensch, do the right thing..don't lead guys on, which is what you did to me...$50...drop it in the mail or I'm going to keep on top of this". Keeping on top of it presumably being a more businesslike sounding term for "I will stalk you forever". You can listen to it here http://prdifferently.typepad.com/my_weblog/files/VM-01-1.wav
TigerLilly78 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 He sounds like that guy Darren Sherman whose story was doing the rounds some years back. He took a woman out, paid, then when she didn't call he sent her an email invoicing her for half of the restaurant bill. When she didn't pay, he tried to get the restaurant to refund $50 to him and charge her for the $50 - but I think they refused. He also left her voicemails. "You ate the food, you drank the wine, be a mensch, do the right thing..don't lead guys on, which is what you did to me...$50...drop it in the mail or I'm going to keep on top of this". Keeping on top of it presumably being a more businesslike sounding term for "I will stalk you forever". You can listen to it here http://prdifferently.typepad.com/my_weblog/files/VM-01-1.wav Holey hopping stalkers batman thats kinda crazy only even remotely redeeming thing about that was she asked for the second date apparently but even so let it go man..lmao
xXMarlboro_ManXx Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 lol this guy is pathetic. I normally go on coffee first dates but sometimes there is a decent bill to pay between us. One of the few times where the girl offered to split and was adamant about it (I paid anyways) I never heard from again. This is all starting to make sense now maybe she never responded because she thought I would ask for half the bill back After that I always thought it was a bad sign when a girl offers to split on an early date but my current GF and I split on our first check so idk if it really is a sign or anything.
MercuryMorrison1 Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I agree that this is a good example of why to avoid ''dinner dates'' for a first date. But if you insist on having these dinner dates, I think it should practically be law that whomever does the ''inviting'' is the one who fits the bill. This guy sounds like one of those White Knighters who get all butt hurt when their Female BFF doesn't give them sex after X amount of time being friends. You defiantly dodged a bullet from the sound of it. 1
Rydo Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 Some guys are really cheap haha. I agree with not going on dinner dates the first couple of dates but that's more to do with worrying about awkward table talk which bores me than the bill. I dont get the coffee dates though that everyone seems to like on here, I'm not getting dressed up for an hour at a coffee shop when i hate coffee. I always go for a proper drink, that way I can pay but the girl can get a round in and still feel like she contributed a little. I always insist on paying for the taxi home though. 2
BeholdtheMan Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I went on a date last sunday.It was a dinner date and I suggested we split the bill when it arrived. He insisted that he is paying. I offered to buy the next round of drinks. He insisted he would pay for that too. Were you sincerely offering to pay your share or would you be here complaining that the guy didn't pay for you if he had accepted your offer?
Satu Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 So he reacts angrily by telling me to pay my half of the bill and he will forward his bank details. I have blocked him. Unbelievable It's hard to believe that someone can be that petty. 1
Els Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 Actually, I would've just forwarded the money to the dude, then blocked him. If he wants to be so petty over something so trivial, he's welcome to his $20. 1
Diezel Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 This is why I never do dinner dates, regardless of whatever happens. You never know, and then you just dropped $100 on a stranger. I know it sounds bitter, but do that a few times and it starts adding up. That's why any woman who INSISTS on making it a dinner date for the first time, I politely decline and move on to someone else. Not saying that's the case of the OP nor am I excusing the actions of the guy in question, but sometimes some added perspective can help shed a bit of light on where he might be coming from. Still, no reason to come back at someone and demand to have their half back.
darkmoon Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 moocher, he was showing you kindness, still you rejected him, ok do that, but he had a sht night out because of you, you could have been more considerate and less tight
Els Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 This is why I never do dinner dates, regardless of whatever happens. You never know, and then you just dropped $100 on a stranger. I agree with most of your post, but this caught my eye. Do you people eat at restaurants that cost $100 per person on a regular basis or something? I always see this figure mentioned in conversations about cost of dates, but in my experience the cost is usually between $15 to $20 per person. You could get a nice ethnic restaurant for that, with good food and decor. $100 per person dinners are typically reserved for special occasions in our book. I suppose if you're earning a six figure salary they would feature more often, but in that case $100 is unlikely to make a dent.
Diezel Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 (edited) To answer your question, it has happened to me. I think it is a little more unlikely to happen in the Mid-West, but for it to happen on the East Coast, it is a little more prevalent. In my earlier days of dating, there were women who would insist on a dinner date and throw out names of restaurants that we should go out to. Little did I know what was going on. I wouldn't say $100 on average, maybe more like $60-$80, but sometimes it was dinner and drinks. And there was no way that was coming out to $20 per person. As an extreme, I did have a situation where I spent almost $130 on one woman because she wanted the fine Italian dining, and ordered two appetizers, meals, wine, desserts. I didn't know what was going on. Naive. Who wants the seafood without the wine to go with it? Now, I just use the "dinner date" as a filter. If it is insisted upon, I frown on it. That's something that can happen after I've known the person a little. I've used that negative experience, and experiences and now use it to my advantage, but never in a million years would I dream about invoicing anyone for that half. It's my cost for a lesson well learned. Edited December 24, 2014 by Diezel 2
Els Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 To answer your question, it has happened to me. I think it is a little more unlikely to happen in the Mid-West, but for it to happen on the East Coast, it is a little more prevalent. In my earlier days of dating, there were women who would insist on a dinner date and throw out names of restaurants that we should go out to. Little did I know what was going on. I wouldn't say $100 on average, maybe more like $60-$80, but sometimes it was dinner and drinks. And there was no way that was coming out to $20 per person. As an extreme, I did have a situation where I spent almost $130 on one woman because she wanted the fine Italian dining, and ordered two appetizers, meals, wine, desserts. I didn't know what was going on. Naive. Who wants the seafood without the wine to go with it? Now, I just use the "dinner date" as a filter. If it is insisted upon, I frown on it. That's something that can happen after I've known the person a little. I've used that negative experience, and experiences and now use it to my advantage, but never in a million years would I dream about invoicing anyone for that half. It's my cost for a lesson well learned. Ah, okay, fair enough. Yes, I suppose us being of Asian descent comes into play here. We usually eat at Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Indian, Vietnamese, Thai etc restaurants where you could get a nice bento box or pho or whatever for less than $15. Although there's an authentic Italian restaurant here where you can get mains for less than $20 and a glass of wine for $7, too... I agree that an expensive dinner date for a first date is really not the way to go.
bathtub-row Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 Hah! Are you trying to reheat the ol' "split the bill"-debate? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/492937-called-him-out-not-paying-dinner-first-date No, because it's a never-ending discussion on this board. I'm speaking to her - woman to woman - about how her actions are inviting problems.
Art_Critic Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I made sure that I consumed 75% of the chocolate brownie shared for pudding to compensate my wallet Seriously.. good lord... To the OP.. is is quite obvious after his response to you rejecting him that he has underlying issues other than who pays.. bullet dodged. 2
Art_Critic Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I agree that this is a good example of why to avoid ''dinner dates'' for a first date. You can get killed stepping off a curb too but you don't you stop stepping off those curbs.. you just learn to look both ways... I can't think of a date I had when I was dating that didn't start with a dinner or lunch date.. If there was no match then oh well... that is part of dating.. in my world the guy always pays... 1
Author mangetout Posted December 24, 2014 Author Posted December 24, 2014 A1 The guy had a good date with the OP and insisted on paying because as a guy it's always a friggin test when the girl offers to pay her own way. You can be labelled as cheap and be refused a second date just for letting her. Not saying that this is what the OP was up to but a lot of women do. So he insisted. Best thing for her to have done after he insisted on paying is to go out with him again and say it was her treat then keep it short and at the end say she didn't think he was a match. It didn't sound like the date was terrible from her post or anything. She also could have been more upfront and not waited until the next day, and said something at the end of the date when the bill came. Like, actually i dont think we're a match, it wouldn't be fair of me to let you pay, let me pay half the bill. Then he would have known. There are ladies who in OLD I swear just go on dates for the free food. Kyta I was still in the early stages of getting to know this guy by the time the bill came. I actually liked him at that point. It was when we went our for another drink afterwards and spent another three hours talking together. He said a few things that made me feel unsure about our compatability. At the end of the night he wanted to take me home and I felt uncomfortable about this. I told him that I would rather take a taxi home and he was offended!He said "Don't you trust me???" To which I told him that I hardly knew him. He then tried to change my mind! CREEPY behaviour. He then tried to hold my handwhile he walked me to the taxi rank. I got home at 11.30 pm and he had sent me a text an hour later asking if we were having a second date. After MIDNIGHT?? 1
Author mangetout Posted December 24, 2014 Author Posted December 24, 2014 Were you sincerely offering to pay your share or would you be here complaining that the guy didn't pay for you if he had accepted your offer? Yes it was sincere. No game playing here. I have my own money and don't need a man to buy me dinner. I can buy my own a thousand times over :-) 1
Author mangetout Posted December 24, 2014 Author Posted December 24, 2014 moocher, he was showing you kindness, still you rejected him, ok do that, but he had a sht night out because of you, you could have been more considerate and less tight So what if he offered me kindness? I offered to pay and he declined.Thats not being tight. His tough luck 3
Author mangetout Posted December 24, 2014 Author Posted December 24, 2014 By the way, this man had LOTS of money. He earns £86 thousand a year and owns three houses etc. His ego was bruised because I said no to him. That's the issue here and nothing else He threw a tantrum the next day. Stupid man. This guy is 50 years old. Unbelievable 1
Author mangetout Posted December 24, 2014 Author Posted December 24, 2014 He was also a goodlooking man and probably wasn't use to being rejected. His personality sucks bigtime. Its not just about looks!
Mr.Pine Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 By the way, this man had LOTS of money. He earns £86 thousand a year and owns three houses etc. His ego was bruised because I said no to him. That's the issue here and nothing else He threw a tantrum the next day. Stupid man. This guy is 50 years old. Unbelievable Wow. You sure know your mark pretty well. I was going to say that a true man always pays and always drives and always opens the door and always lets her complete first. But after reading this post of yours, it frightens me how well you know his finances. It seems like you were the one who was uber disappointed about him being such a socially inept dud and you can't share in his 86,000 pound salary and 3 houses and all that jazz. You actually know his salary to the pound. Amazing. Stop counting salaries that aren't yours and just enjoy yourself. P.S. 86,000 pounds a year is not a lot of money. You must be hovering above the poverty level if you think it is.
MissBee Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I went on a date last sunday.It was a dinner date and I suggested we split the bill when it arrived. He insisted that he is paying. I offered to buy the next round of drinks. He insisted he would pay for that too. So next day he asks if there will be a second date and I told him that I had a good evening but we were not compatible. So he reacts angrily by telling me to pay my half of the bill and he will forward his bank details. I have blocked him. Unbelievable Wow . Good for you on blocking him. Who really does that?! 1
SJC2008 Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 It was a knee jerk reaction, OTT on his part. Other than telling your girlfriends I wouldn't waste any energy talking/debating it.
Recommended Posts