mangetout Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I went on a date last sunday.It was a dinner date and I suggested we split the bill when it arrived. He insisted that he is paying. I offered to buy the next round of drinks. He insisted he would pay for that too. So next day he asks if there will be a second date and I told him that I had a good evening but we were not compatible. So he reacts angrily by telling me to pay my half of the bill and he will forward his bank details. I have blocked him. Unbelievable 9
Redhead14 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I went on a date last sunday.It was a dinner date and I suggested we split the bill when it arrived. He insisted that he is paying. I offered to buy the next round of drinks. He insisted he would pay for that too. So next day he asks if there will be a second date and I told him that I had a good evening but we were not compatible. So he reacts angrily by telling me to pay my half of the bill and he will forward his bank details. I have blocked him. Unbelievable This is a good reason for not having dinner dates for a first date. But, don't pay it. He invited you, it's his dime. He sounds like on of the posters here . . . if you go on a first date with a man, you are committed 5
doeblin Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 He insisted that he is paying. End of story. I guess he thought he was buying you. 9
Dallers Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 haha the guy is a plank for asking you to pay but sadly OP this is a common thing now that it is too easy to get a free night out and dinner paid for with modern dating so he probably has been messed about quite a bit. Comedy. I was on a date from hell a little while ago and as I always pay as I enjoy being the host, I made sure that I consumed 75% of the chocolate brownie shared for pudding to compensate my wallet
Author mangetout Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 Well I never assume that the man is paying for everything on a date but its very clear to me that chivalry is dead. Just doesn't exist anymore. I am still astounded that he feels its the "honourable" thing for me to do. Apparently he assumed we were going to meet up again because we got on. Hence why he paid for the bill. He told me that I clearly play "a good game"
Redhead14 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Yeah, and his game is buy a woman dinner and get laid . . . what a dud. 5
mtber75 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I went on a date last sunday.It was a dinner date and I suggested we split the bill when it arrived. He insisted that he is paying. I offered to buy the next round of drinks. He insisted he would pay for that too. So next day he asks if there will be a second date and I told him that I had a good evening but we were not compatible. So he reacts angrily by telling me to pay my half of the bill and he will forward his bank details. I have blocked him. Unbelievable Yeah unfortunately many guys think that they can buy a woman's affection. But don't you think you got jaded because he insisted on paying for everything so you dismissed him right there? That's not fair too.
Redhead14 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 If this is the way he wants to operate, what he should have done is before paying the bill, he should have asked her for a second date. If she turned him down, he could then say let's split it since it didn't work out. If she accepted, then he would pay the bill. However, if she accepted a second date, who's to say she wouldn't be in the same position then? This guy doesn't have any dating skills. 1
mtber75 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Yeah, and his game is buy a woman dinner and get laid . . . what a dud. NO this is not true. A lot of guys are gentlemen that's why they pay for everything on the first date. Why not go out on a second date with the guy and she should insist on paying for everything the second time around.... That's a mark of a true independent woman! 2
Zahara Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Gosh, I read these stories and wonder how I'm ever going to have the energy and patience to go out there and date! He thought he could buy your attention and since it didn't work, his ego is bruised. I bet he's sitting there now and feeling like a fool for even saying that. 2
Redhead14 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 NO this is not true. A lot of guys are gentlemen that's why they pay for everything on the first date. Why not go out on a second date with the guy and she should insist on paying for everything the second time around.... That's a mark of a true independent woman! She offered to pay her half . . . he declined. He missed the boat. 3
Toodaloo Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 its very clear to me that chivalry is dead. Just doesn't exist anymore. No its not. I know several men who are amazing, wouldn't dream of acting in this way, are lovely fun guys and single... Sadly they are also related and I am setting them up with nice single women... So they are out there. You just have to be in the right place at the right time. 4
TigerLilly78 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I would have made one deposit of 0.02 ..lol So I guess him paying for everything meant he thought he was buying himself a gf or a piece of ass ether way better to see the true colors now.. 4
bathtub-row Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 You dodged a bullet with this guy. Count your lucky stars that you noticed the incompatibility early on. On a side note, you would be doing yourself a favor by not offering to pay on a date. Unless you like cheap men, or men who are looking for a mommy. It undervalues you as a person, and takes away a man's natural inclination to do things for a woman. 1
doeblin Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 On a side note, you would be doing yourself a favor by not offering to pay on a date. Unless you like cheap men, or men who are looking for a mommy. It undervalues you as a person, and takes away a man's natural inclination to do things for a woman. Hah! Are you trying to reheat the ol' "split the bill"-debate? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/492937-called-him-out-not-paying-dinner-first-date
SomeDude16 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I will not expect a woman to pay until after the 4th date, then Its an expectation every 3 dates.
ktya Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 NO this is not true. A lot of guys are gentlemen that's why they pay for everything on the first date. Why not go out on a second date with the guy and she should insist on paying for everything the second time around.... That's a mark of a true independent woman! A1 The guy had a good date with the OP and insisted on paying because as a guy it's always a friggin test when the girl offers to pay her own way. You can be labelled as cheap and be refused a second date just for letting her. Not saying that this is what the OP was up to but a lot of women do. So he insisted. Best thing for her to have done after he insisted on paying is to go out with him again and say it was her treat then keep it short and at the end say she didn't think he was a match. It didn't sound like the date was terrible from her post or anything. She also could have been more upfront and not waited until the next day, and said something at the end of the date when the bill came. Like, actually i dont think we're a match, it wouldn't be fair of me to let you pay, let me pay half the bill. Then he would have known. There are ladies who in OLD I swear just go on dates for the free food. 1
Omei Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Never make a first date a wine and dine On both ends its just going to be a problem if there is no connection. But I agree that if you knew there was no connection you shouldn't of let him pay for it all, but on his end he decided to take that chance and spend that much money and shouldn't hold you accountable for his choices. I see both sides so again first dates should never wine and dine. But him telling you hes going to send you the bill and expect you to pay after his offer is over the top he should just accept he made a poor choice. 1
green_tea Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 No its not. I know several men who are amazing, wouldn't dream of acting in this way, are lovely fun guys and single... Sadly they are also related and I am setting them up with nice single women... So they are out there. You just have to be in the right place at the right time. They are so rare, but I've met one recently too - he is such a gentleman. Unfortunately he's not single - no wonder - guys like that just get snapped up.
preraph Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Yeah, that's the reason a lot of women have mixed feelings about guys paying -- because some of them think that entitles them to sex. On the other hand, etiquette requires the asker pay the check on a first date. If they become a couple, details can be worked out later for future expenses. If a woman asks a man out, she should also insist on paying.
TigerLilly78 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Never make a first date a wine and dine On both ends its just going to be a problem if there is no connection. But I agree that if you knew there was no connection you shouldn't of let him pay for it all, but on his end he decided to take that chance and spend that much money and shouldn't hold you accountable for his choices. I see both sides so again first dates should never wine and dine. But him telling you hes going to send you the bill and expect you to pay after his offer is over the top he should just accept he made a poor choice. But the Op did offer to pay so not like she didn't try to pay her half it was on him that he didn't accept I mean what are you going to do argue full out over it wrestle the check out of his hands? imo this is the guys fault for expecting something back for the meal..
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Chivalry is NOT dead BUT I will say that it seems to be lost on many men these days for whatever reason :/ After a few painful dates, I quickly realized learned that the only way I was going to ever make it threw the dating maze was to keep the initial meet and greet short and sweet. Coffee dates fit the bill perfectly. Inexpensive and non-committal. If we hit it off, date #2 included a meal and/or some kind of activity.
Danda Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 This is a pretty excellent example of what I mean when I say that 'super nice' guys make me uneasy. It's not that genuine kindness is an unattractive trait (just the opposite). It's just that I've observed and unfortunately experienced plenty of 'nice' guys whose 'niceness' turned out to be the equivalent of trying to pay me or another woman for sex and/or commitment. There are women like this, as well, I've observed it firsthand a few times. People who think like this do not have an inherent sense of empathy and compassion. They perceive themselves and others as robots and get very bent out of shape when something defies the 'codes' they've 'cracked' via their 'experiments' with people.
kolleamm Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 What kind of a guy buys a woman dinner on the first date? Amateur...
TigerLilly78 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I see nothing wrong with a dinner date the one who invited should pay thats just good manners to me for a blind date these days it seams its taking a gamble as many expect bang for their buck literally so the chance of getting to know each other and maybe meeting your soul mate in itself is not worth the cost of the meal for many I guess..go figure..
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