Parisian Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 (edited) Hi loveshack family. To cut the long story short, she was treating me like **** for the last 4 years, emotionally cheated on me, pushed me for the silliest of reasons and pulled me back atleast twice or thrice a month for 2.5 years. She either has a mentality disorder or is too haughty and egoistic. To know more about her and why I thought she had a Borderline Personality Disorder see: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/505898-me-really-her-last-4-years-i-am-devastated and http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/506618-did-she-have-bpd-her-me-needing-therapy She went MIA by blocking me on her phone and social media for a week for the silliest reason (she thinks I was oredering her when rather I suggested her about something), came back send me a break up sms and changed her number. She didnt even think that I had taken her back in my heart after she cheated and apologized, but 2 weeks back broke up for a silly reason. Now after 2 weeks she sends me 4 emails yesterday. Nothing written except my name, as though she was expecting me to reply back so she can pull me again. Its just that this time it WILL be different. I believe I may have lost my self-esteem and respect after having pulled her everytime she pushed me away, showing too much of love. I never treated her like how she treated me. She was my first love and so you can imagine how much I would have made efforts thinking she is the ONLY ONE. I have two options now: 1. either message her back and tell her to never contact me again, because I dont want her to suffer hoping there is still something possible or 2. keep maintaining NC and forget about her (difficult after having been together for 4 years but possible) What do you guys suggest?? Also Please be blunt and truthful about what you think of her or me or what I should have done differently since 4 years. Its a lesson for my future relationships. Edited December 18, 2014 by Parisian
BC1980 Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 Block her, and walk away for good. People don't generally change. They might change after therapy and much introspection. They don't change in 2 weeks, and she clearly has no interest in such change based on her past. You have to block her. 3
RedButton Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 Not responding at all sends a much stronger message than replying with 'don't contact me'. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy. 3
eblude Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 Stay away . Been married for 6 years . Got divorced once and each time i thought it is over we start talking and **** starts again . right now i cut her from fb and all been 3 months but I can say if this never happened we would be back together or worse I would be dwelling her on daily basis .. one of few smart decisions i ever done since been with her
Author Parisian Posted December 18, 2014 Author Posted December 18, 2014 Stay away . Been married for 6 years . Got divorced once and each time i thought it is over we start talking and **** starts again . right now i cut her from fb and all been 3 months but I can say if this never happened we would be back together or worse I would be dwelling her on daily basis .. one of few smart decisions i ever done since been with her eblude, thanks for your reply.
Marco Valerio Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 (edited) Hi friend: I've suffered with my ex gf something more or less the same. She has an ED. She was very selfish, she cheated on me I don't know how many times, she was mean to me...It could be a very long list. We broke up a year ago this Christmas. After she saying she dind't want me anymore in her life as a boyfriend, she offered me the option of FWB, secret couple or BFF. Of course I said no to all of them, she only wanted me in her selfish way. I went NC, but for the first six months she texted me now and then (wich I did answer), after the six months mark I went strict NC till today. It hasn't been easy at all for me, but it was the best thing I could do. The situation you should never forget is that you are dealing with a very selfish person, someone who doesn't value you or respect you at all. There's good people out there, don't hung on yourself onto her, it is not worth it. Best wishes my friend. Edited December 18, 2014 by Marco Valerio
Diezel Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 If she truly had a PD, she's not going to register "Do not contact me again". Just fair warning. I've dealt with it, I've done the closure email/letter/text and it never worked. You'll get a response that will be much akin to emotional manipulation. 1
MovingOnIsHard Posted December 19, 2014 Posted December 19, 2014 NC definitely. Don't respond to any emails/txts My ex who i suspected of having some kind of personality disorder emailed me a few times in the past month since he broke up with me. Some of the emails were benign and random.. some absolutely brash eg. "just want to make you aware im seeing someone else" The last comment, I gave in and replied back, angrily, telling him how paranoid and clueless he is of his own sad existence.. then I finally pulled the plug. Never replied to anymore of his messages (he msged me on a dating site :-/). I can't describe how liberating it is to not give ex any kind of attention. Even if you were the one who got dumped, it feels like you have power back in your hands. Because you CHOSE not to respond to breadcrumbs, vague comments, etc.. Your silence pretty much says "We're done. Even if your new relationship doesn't fly, I won't be there to catch your fall. You're on your own and I'm moving on."
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