What a waste of time OLD is! This angers me.

[melodicintention]

Did you read the article OKstupid put out saying 90% of the "matches" are fake? I quit online dating after that came out, it's nothing but a bunch of player guys or guys with seriously low self esteem on all dating sites, not just this one. It's hard to find dates in the real world, but at least you have a better idea of what you are getting when you meet a person in public rather than online.

[Detectingfreak]

OLD is a waste of time. Okcupid is the worst. All i found is woman who wanted free meals and not a connection. They wouldnt go 50/50 on the date. Im thankfully never dating again as a choice. I love my decision of staying single forever

[JuneJulySeptember]

Why did you waste 50 messages on them then? If I don't get any offer to meet after 4-5 messages I drop them. I am in the business of finding myself a man, not in entertainment business.

 

When they text you just reply: call me.

 

If they ask another woman for her number after 4-5 messages, that's probably moving too fast and they get rejected.

 

So, you see, you can't win either way. Guys either tear their hair out choosing which way to go, or pick a strategy and stick with it.

[bluestealth]

Should I delete my OKC profile? All I get are messages from guys that are just wasting my time. Sending like 50 messages, where it leads to nowhere. Having to give a guy my phone number so that he can contact me. Most likely they are "texters" not talkers. I have to suggest everything. Exchanging numbers, talking on the phone, meeting up. Good god! I didn't know I was the one with the balls. I'm not sure what they want? A buddy?

 

 

As a guy, I actually have the same issue with most women online. I carry the conversation, suggest exchanging numbers, talking, and meeting. Typically they disappear when I want to talk or meet. It's surprising to hear a woman having this issue since guys are typically the pursuer.

[Trenton100]

Should I delete my OKC profile? All I get are messages from guys that are just wasting my time. Sending like 50 messages, where it leads to nowhere. Having to give a guy my phone number so that he can contact me. Most likely they are "texters" not talkers. I have to suggest everything. Exchanging numbers, talking on the phone, meeting up. Good god! I didn't know I was the one with the balls. I'm not sure what they want? A buddy?

 

 

I'm in the exact same boat. I'm done with the dating sites. I'm sick of meeting people on there and nothing happens but texting. I'm sick of "dates". I'm sick of the attention seekers and multiple daters. I want one person to talk to. It sucks.

[mysteryscape]

I'm in the exact same boat. I'm done with the dating sites. I'm sick of meeting people on there and nothing happens but texting. I'm sick of "dates". I'm sick of the attention seekers and multiple daters. I want one person to talk to. It sucks.

 

you are male or female?

[Trenton100]

you are male or female?

 

Male. Seriously.

[TigerLilly78]

 

I think dating culture just kind of sucks right now all around lol, for men and women.

 

.

I think a lot of it is cause its not really a "dating" culture so to speak its a "hook up" one one in were no one wants to take time to get to know each other they just want to date date date die..lol or there is the idea that the grass is always greener just around that corner..

[BluEyeL]

To avoid wasting time, you should educate yourself in how to handle OLD interactions. Otherwise yes, it can be a time sucker. You can learn through experience.

 

You do not continue talking to someone if they didn't ask you out within 5-7 message exchanges. You just stop replying and move on to someone else. The idea is to go on as many dates as possible so you can eventually find a relationship. And you have to accept that it'll take a while to find one. One year, two years, three years. Not a few days.

[elaine567]

With computer/phone based interactions, then is not likely that some of those labelled flakers, uninterested people, waste of space folk, are just people who hide behind the computer screen or are so engrossed in their phone, that meeting in real life scares them silly, so duck out of real life situations for fear of being assessed and not coming up to scratch. Keyboard warriors can be pretty meek IRL.

They do not reply. because they feel they are unworthy. they run out of things to say via text or email, so stop. Part of a relationship is doing things together and speaking about mutual experiences.

So instead of being nasty, arrogant, people who merely want to use and abuse people on OLD, they may be IRL inadequate and insecure.

 

Texting is a useless medium to use for meaningful relationships, someone who texts all the time may be sitting at home with eyes rolled, bored and uninterested and someone who texts rarely may be very keen and interested. It is very easy for a text to be misinterpreted too.

[Frank2thepoint]

The texting thing is so unromantic. I want to hear the guys voice and him to hear mine.

 

There's a certain innocence about the time before the Internet and mobile phones. There also was the thrill of discovering someone's personality by talking to them on dates or over the phone. I embrace all forms of technological communication (phone, text, instant messaging, and email), but I've actually met people in their 30s and 40s -- people that grew up without the Internet or mobile phones -- that hate talking over the phone. Even a 40 year old woman I went on a date told me she doesn't like talking on the phone, but prefers text and sending emojis. Boggles my mind.

[Trenton100]

There's a certain innocence about the time before the Internet and mobile phones. There also was the thrill of discovering someone's personality by talking to them on dates or over the phone. I embrace all forms of technological communication (phone, text, instant messaging, and email), but I've actually met people in their 30s and 40s -- people that grew up without the Internet or mobile phones -- that hate talking over the phone. Even a 40 year old woman I went on a date told me she doesn't like talking on the phone, but prefers text and sending emojis. Boggles my mind.

 

The downfall to texting is you simply can't be descriptive without being accused of "blowing up" their phone.

 

 

I cut a girl off because of this. I sent two texts. The first was me describing some of the things I liked. The second was about my thoughts on the online dating thing. Both were about as long as your post.

 

 

What I got back was "You're being pushy" and "you aren't very mature in the way you just blew up my phone".

 

 

Funny, nothing I said would have taken longer than 90 seconds through verbal communication. But then that would involve you disconnecting yourself from a digital keyboard. We don't want to be too pushy, right?

[FitChick]

Got a wink from someone on Match. I generally ignore them until they email me. Read his profile and he seemed to be a cut above the usual riffraff so I winked back. Then he sent me this message:

 

Hi

Regards,

John

 

I was soooo tempted to send the exact message back. Thank God my subscription ends in the next week or so.

[mysteryscape]

Thank God my subscription ends in the next week or so.

 

You coward! Don't let this pass you by. The clock is only wound once, you know.

[spiderowl]

Could it be that you are just too impatient and have a need to be in control? If you are pushing to meet and so on, the guy will likely back off because at some deep level he feels that's his role. If you are always in the position of having to push things forward, then I would say you are either doing something to put these guys off or you expect instant results and barely give them time to get their act together. A guy is going to want to feel he is making the choice to ask you out and to win you over, not that he's having to back off because you're already doing it.

[FitChick]

You coward! Don't let this pass you by. The clock is only wound once, you know.

I believe in reincarnation.

[Frank2thepoint]

The downfall to texting is you simply can't be descriptive without being accused of "blowing up" their phone.

 

 

I cut a girl off because of this. I sent two texts. The first was me describing some of the things I liked. The second was about my thoughts on the online dating thing. Both were about as long as your post.

 

 

What I got back was "You're being pushy" and "you aren't very mature in the way you just blew up my phone".

 

 

Funny, nothing I said would have taken longer than 90 seconds through verbal communication. But then that would involve you disconnecting yourself from a digital keyboard. We don't want to be too pushy, right?

 

 

In all my years using text message, I never once got annoyed at friends or a woman messaging me. I've had full blown conversations via text. Sure it would have been easier to just talk over the phone, but sometimes you get engulfed in just sending and receiving typed words. Kind of reminiscent of olden days of writing letters and reading ones written to you. I never considered large volume of text messages as a person "blowing up my phone". Yet some women will easily judge you as being pushy, a creep, or a weirdo that "blew up their phone" with messages. I can understand those labels if you were disrespectful, but not when it's a civil conversation.

 

Some people use technology as a social crutch. They feel safe hiding behind lifeless texts, which so easily can be misinterpreted. I've heard the advice, among men, that the telephone was a woman's weapon. Now text messages have filled that role. Women use it to assess you, without even having to meet you. There is some truth to it. So be minimalistic when interacting with a woman over text. Only use it to secure a date, or send quick flirtatious words, or get them on the phone to secure a date.

[truth_seeker]

I gotta tell you, just about 99% of the women I've connected with on OLD has been a delusional, damaged head case. Maybe I attract them? I don't know... but I do know lots and lots of women online got issues.

 

OLD gives anyone a chance to cover up their insecurities before meeting or never meeting them. That's what is scary about it.

[elaine567]

I gotta tell you, just about 99% of the women I've connected with on OLD has been a delusional, damaged head case. Maybe I attract them? I don't know... but I do know lots and lots of women online got issues.

 

OLD gives anyone a chance to cover up their insecurities before meeting or never meeting them. That's what is scary about it.

 

How old are the women you are meeting?

[mysteryscape]

I believe in reincarnation.

 

Well good luck to you, and maybe we'll have this conversation again! The eternal recurrence and everything.

[spanishchick00]

I gotta tell you, just about 99% of the women I've connected with on OLD has been a delusional, damaged head case. Maybe I attract them? I don't know... but I do know lots and lots of women online got issues.

 

OLD gives anyone a chance to cover up their insecurities before meeting or never meeting them. That's what is scary about it.

 

Interesting. Why do guys think girls have issues if they are using a dating site? Does that mean guys that use OLD, don't have any issues at all? Doesn't it work both ways? I was reading this guys profile on okcupid and it said the was "done" with the site, his profile said its a bunch of "trailer trash" women with issues that are on there, and how much he hated seeing pics of girls with cleavage. Geez. Who the heck writes that on a dating profile??? And he was a good looking guy too, so I'm not sure if there was something wrong with him and surprised why he was on there.

[Jame22]

Guys have said that its a way to get to "know" the person before meeting up. Also, to make me feel more, "comfortable." Half of the time they just flake out.

 

Haha I'm the exact opposite. I ask them out very quick. If they try to pull the "I don't even know you" card I respond with "Exactly, let's change that"

[bu2002]

Different girls have a different comfort level with online dating. Some women are okay meeting after a few messages, others want to message for a couple of weeks. Others want to talk on the phone first before meeting while some are totally comfortable with a few texts to figure out logistics.

 

If you like to meet sooner rather than later, then I would make that known in your profile wiht something like.... "I'm selective with who I respond to, but if I'm interested, I typically like messaging and meeting sooner rather than later".

[Trenton100]

I was reading this guys profile on okcupid and it said the was "done" with the site, his profile said its a bunch of "trailer trash" women with issues that are on there, and how much he hated seeing pics of girls with cleavage. Geez. Who the heck writes that on a dating profile???

 

 

People like me. The cold truth is the majority of woman on there are just not right. I've never messaged any profile that had sleazy bathroom selfies, or pictures of girls thinking an up close shot of their cleavage is somehow attractive.