Why do we spend so much time thinking about those who hardly think of us in return?

[Jimmyjackson]

It's so odd how the person you were once in love with, shared memories with becomes a stranger. When I was stood next to her I couldn't help but think about the times we had together, then all of a sudden she acts as if I'm just some random guy. It's a strange feeling, I don't like it.

[DenverDude]

I've been thinking a lot a out my ex lately and also how it's sad that after 3 years of memories -good, bad, happy, sad - she is just a ghost now. This feeling sucks. I seem to be on a downward spiral on this emotional roller coaster. . I will pick myself up, but right now it sucks.

 

Sorry about your bump in with your ex. Things like that can really set you back. I am 90% certain I saw my ex at the same ski resort I was at last sunday. I was with work friends eating lunch in the lodge and I swear she walked right past. . As if she was a ghost. Man did it suck. It's been driving me crazy if that was her or not. She lpoked cute like always

[welshbambi]

Well I for one am sick of being sad over my guy. He is creeping over every woman he thinks he has a chance with by all accounts, and whilst that is painful in one way, it is also soooo ****ing pathetic.

 

We haven't been broken up more than a month.

 

I am shocked but not shocked because deep down I always knew he was that person. What was stupid was thinking he would change for me. People don't change, period.

 

I'm not saying people aren't allowed to fall out of love, but people CAN have decency in the way they go about it. Dude I'm sorry that this didn't work out for you. I wish that I had some wonderful words of advice for you but I don't. I am so frickin angry right now.

 

Angry for being played, angry for allowing that to happen, angry with him for using that to his advantage.

[Ieris]

I know it is painful having her treat you like nothing but I think in some way you needed to experience this in order to move on. No more wishing, hoping, pining... Simply let go! The girl you miss is no longer there...

[NopeNah]

If theres a next time, tell her no.

[Evening]

Its weird how its happens. I mean, after being a long time with someone and then seeing them over a long time and see how much they have changed and you start to wondering, was it just a dream that you two once were together or was it really real.

Like you dont know that person anymore. Or something in them and definitely in you has shifted. Maybe you have learned from life. Life has taught you valuable lessons. I mean, all lessons are valuable.

 

 

But what one ex should say to the other? I guess it awkward every time.

 

 

Its like you are not exactly their friend, hope not an enemy too, you are just trying to cope with that situation.

 

 

Try to let it go. I mean you break up for a reason, right? Or do you think that you should give it a new try?

[Jimmyjackson]

Yeah exactly, it was almost as if she was a ghost. Took a smoke from me and then got in a taxi to go home or something.

 

Is it an act or does she generally not care either way? It's only been 4 months since BU and she seems to have moved on so quickly. Too quickly for someone who used to say things like she wanted to try life with me, potentially live together when she finished University, etc.

 

She is dating someone else now I believe, so her attention will be focused on him. Once an ex is indifferent, there's no going back?

[Jimmyjackson]

It might sound stupid but I just try and tell myself she's not as attractive as I thought she was, it does help sometimes. I think she has quite a big head, looking at unflattering photos of her can sometimes help me feel better.

[Evening]

As I read from your previous threads, I found out that she wad your first girlfriend.

There are good and bad news. Please dont throw a pillow at me lol

 

Anyways.

Good news is - time mends everything.

Even if you think now its a long way still to go...but I promise you and from my own experience I can tell, everything will pass. You dont need to carry this burden. Its def too heavt. Try to make peace with it. Embrace the good times you two had.

Also one thing what we all sooner or later have to understand. People are seasonal. Embrace and love yourself. In the end, its you what you've got!

There are many girls who want to meet you and get to know you, but you havent met them yet! Be social! Build your self-esteem if its necessary. Love starts within.

Bad news is - "firsts" Seems like the human brain is wired that way. We will always remwmber our first things - first kiss, first time having sex, first gf or bf etc etc

She is a part of you. I mean all the people we meet and spend some time together are parts pf us. They teach us some valuable lessons and when its their time to go separate ways, it doesnt mean that we should hold hold a grunge over them. Its just how it is. Our time with then is over, but that does not mean that we should mourn forever for that.

 

We all want to be happy. Do yourself a favor try bringing yourself more happiness and joy!

When you are happy and content with yourself, the next right girl will come along.

 

And dont worry. Dont waste your precious energy on worrying on creating negative thoughts!

 

Wishing you all the best!

[Ieris]

It might sound stupid but I just try and tell myself she's not as attractive as I thought she was, it does help sometimes. I think she has quite a big head, looking at unflattering photos of her can sometimes help me feel better.

 

Hahaha good tip!

 

Whenever I run into my exes or come across updated photos of them.. I think what the hell happened to you? I know it's not all about looks but that perfect image you have of them in your head starts to crumble! It sure helps!

[Jimmyjackson]

As I read from your previous threads, I found out that she wad your first girlfriend.

There are good and bad news. Please dont throw a pillow at me lol

 

Anyways.

Good news is - time mends everything.

Even if you think now its a long way still to go...but I promise you and from my own experience I can tell, everything will pass. You dont need to carry this burden. Its def too heavt. Try to make peace with it. Embrace the good times you two had.

Also one thing what we all sooner or later have to understand. People are seasonal. Embrace and love yourself. In the end, its you what you've got!

There are many girls who want to meet you and get to know you, but you havent met them yet! Be social! Build your self-esteem if its necessary. Love starts within.

Bad news is - "firsts" Seems like the human brain is wired that way. We will always remwmber our first things - first kiss, first time having sex, first gf or bf etc etc

She is a part of you. I mean all the people we meet and spend some time together are parts pf us. They teach us some valuable lessons and when its their time to go separate ways, it doesnt mean that we should hold hold a grunge over them. Its just how it is. Our time with then is over, but that does not mean that we should mourn forever for that.

 

We all want to be happy. Do yourself a favor try bringing yourself more happiness and joy!

When you are happy and content with yourself, the next right girl will come along.

 

And dont worry. Dont waste your precious energy on worrying on creating negative thoughts!

 

Wishing you all the best!

 

Thanks, that was a really good reply. I guess it's when I'm drunk and stuff, the old memories go on in my head and I keep thinking about her. I've had sex since we've been broken up and it was better with her, but maybe because she was my first love?

[Jimmyjackson]

Hahaha good tip!

 

Whenever I run into my exes or come across updated photos of them.. I think what the hell happened to you? I know it's not all about looks but that perfect image you have of them in your head starts to crumble! It sure helps!

 

Yeah, I mean don't get me wrong she is attractive and has this great ass haha. But when we broke up my friend told me she's not as nice as I thought she was and he could tell me that now we weren't together. I guess he has a point, over time you realise they're not all that - she just ticked all the boxes emotionally too I guess. She has gained weight too I noticed, not just saying that because we're not together, I noticed last night...

[Ieris]

Yeah, I mean don't get me wrong she is attractive and has this great ass haha. But when we broke up my friend told me she's not as nice as I thought she was and he could tell me that now we weren't together. I guess he has a point, over time you realise they're not all that - she just ticked all the boxes emotionally too I guess. She has gained weight too I noticed, not just saying that because we're not together, I noticed last night...

 

It's interesting isn't it, when you start to lose interest they start to look worse. I wouldn't even take a second look if I saw them on the street. Some I even refuse to admit they were my exes! Lol

 

What would make you feel better is getting into shape, get a new haircut and spend the money you original would have spent on them on yourself! New clothes, take a vacation and treat yourself!

[Jimmyjackson]

It's interesting isn't it, when you start to lose interest they start to look worse. I wouldn't even take a second look if I saw them on the street. Some I even refuse to admit they were my exes! Lol

 

What would make you feel better is getting into shape, get a new haircut and spend the money you original would have spent on them on yourself! New clothes, take a vacation and treat yourself!

 

I guess last night just made me realise it was over, shes indifferent now and that's unlikely to change. I've saved a lot of money being single, in these last 4 months I've saved about £1,800.

[Jimmyjackson]

If theres a next time, tell her no.

 

I think giving her one and then leaving it at that showed I wasn't really affected though, even if I was, don't you think? Would've looked a bit petty if I had ignored her and said no. I gave her it and then talked to a female friend who was stood next to her, I think I handled it pretty well, especially being drunk too...