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Marriage talk


kchelle6888

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Not if her names on not the deed, or the mortgage. Assets you bring into the marriage, prior to it, remain yours alone unless you co-mingle them.

Then the laws in your part of the world are VERY different to the laws in mine.

 

This side of the pond, everything you own is a marital asset. You can make a case for pre-marital assets remaining yours, and your chances of winning that are greater in a short marriage, but it's certainly not clear-cut especially if there's kids involved.

Edited by PegNosePete
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Then the laws in your part of the world are VERY different to the laws in mine.

 

This side of the pond, everything you own is a marital asset. You can make a case for pre-marital assets remaining yours, and your chances of winning that are greater in a short marriage, but it's certainly not clear-cut especially if there's kids involved.

 

 

That may well be Pete. I know here in my state in the US, if I own a home before marriage, and don't put her name on the mortgage, or the deed, the home remains mine upon divorce. The only possible way that may not hold up, is if it was a very long term marriage and you tried to toss the ex out on her ass with nothing. THEN the court may step in and awards her part of the home. Kids would definitely change the picture a bit also.

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yeah we DONT NEED marriage NOR a house. But I wouldn't be comfortable getting into a contract buying a house with someone im not married to.

I'm wondering why the two of you are looking at this in the context of the house? Anyone can purchase a house, no contract other than a deed required.

 

Marriage is a commitment to each other. Real estate aside, are you both ready for that?

 

Mr. Lucky

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My boyfriend talks about our lives in term of a definite future in the long run. He is currently wanting to buy a house and all of that kind of stuff. But he never talks about marriage.

 

 

Is that normal? I want to be married before we have a HOUSE in "our name".

 

I don't think it's about if it is normal or not. For some people it might be, but point is, this is your life and your relationship, so if he doesn't bring up marriage, ASK him. None of us here can really tell what he wants or is thinking, so I'd suggest telling him you want a house with him but would like to be married before this happens.

 

I for one have never understood the big taboo and hush hush around marriage discussions in serious relationships where people are living together, buying houses and otherwise entwining their lives and finances in HUGE ways, yet marriage is the scary specter to avoid?

 

In my last relationship pretty early on, while we were just getting to know each other, we both shared what we were looking for in a relationship and both of us said at this point in life we are looking to be with someone we can see as a potential future spouse and wouldn't seriously date someone whom we didn't see in that way. So from early on marriage ideas weren't some secret thing you walked on egg shells over but we talked a lot about our relationship possibly heading that way and many decisions we made took this into consideration as a possibility. This only makes sense to me. I can't fathom being with a man and having NO CLUE whether or not he believes in marriage, wants it or wants it with me. Even if you don't discuss it early on, at the one year mark at least it should come up and certainly before buying property together and so on.

Edited by MissBee
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