tom670 Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I don't even know how anyone can live like this - the stress alone would drive me insane. Sonny, are you afraid of your girlfriend or something? Cause it seems to me like SHE is controlling the situation and you just accept her actions and/or whatever she tells you. Time to nut up and confront her on this bro. And why have you two not have sex in weeks? Sorry man. DNA the kid also. Get the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 My then partner was as naive, fearful and hopeful at the time as you are now, sonny. Man... I was bad. But then again, I did it because I could... I hope, and believe, I'd have ditched myself hard and fast if I were her. My AP offered to bring in her friends to cover for me and my lies to my partner. Who says those conversations are real? You gotta be kidding me, just buying her lies like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 DNA the kid also. Amen, to that. @Sonny, At this point, I'm not even sure your kids are yours! And, I don't even know you! Link to post Share on other sites
Keke1 Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 My then partner was as naive, fearful and hopeful at the time as you are now, sonny. Man... I was bad. But then again, I did it because I could... I hope, and believe, I'd have ditched myself hard and fast if I were her. My AP offered to bring in her friends to cover for me and my lies to my partner. Who says those conversations are real? You gotta be kidding me, just buying her lies like this. A couple of people have warned him already. There's only one poster in here that keeps making excuses for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 The missing condom thing, I don't think the dude would forget using a 2nd condom. I mean, come on, reading this thread, the guy has been paranoid, I'm sure he's been keeping a good eye on her and it paid off. Unfortunately the pay off comes with a "she screwed someone else" addition. I suppose the condom could of just fallen out and rolled under the bed and out the door and into the night and disappeared all on its own, but then..things like that do not usually happen. There is only so many places it could be. Link to post Share on other sites
BeholdtheMan Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 I told her "Well I'll kick his ass if he doesn't stop!" And she told me "You would not be able, he is so strong" I asked her "why do you know he is strong?" She was like "uhh... I don't know, I don't remember, but he is strong" Why are you still with her? Utter disrespect directed at you and you swallowed it like a b*tch Where are your balls man? Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 the bunch of absurd thoughts which are in his mind alone. Very seldom does the O.P. of a post like this come back and lay on us a telling tale of his own paranoid perceptions of real-life variables being proven with data that doesn't support his over-dramatized fears as shared throughout this thread: Hi, She did not go to any date. Yesterday, her job called. She was busy with the baby so I answered. They wanted to cancel her scheduled shift. Yes, she told me the truth. The weird shift was real. Also, she let her laptop on the couch. I checked out the facebook message she just received: guess what? It was a female coworker thanking her for staying with her after their shift because she needed to talk to a friend. That explains why she came back late. I checked out the other guy messages... Nothing new, except a few "hello" and "You didn't reply, you don't wanna go to the restaurant?". She never replied to his messages. I think all is good. I feel better today. She never made any attempt in hiding her stuff. She just logs out of facebook when she leaves. And she also changed her password, but I do the same in a regular basis. Changing passwords is the key to internet security. She often leave her laptop running on the couch without logging out or closing stuff. The only time was when she looked at his pictures. I snooped again and honestly, I think that nothing is going on. She had an extended conversation with her friend. She had problems going on in her life and judging by the hundreds messages they wrote to each other yesterday, it is not by any mean a cover up. I can guarantee you that. Trust, but don't close your eyes. That's what I'm going to do for the next few weeks. And no, she doesn't have any real-life friends, except her coworkers and our families. This is sad, but she seems to enjoy it that way. She likes most of my friends. I only have male friends, never had female friends, except my friends wives/girlfriends. Here's some sage advice for you, OP, rather than weighing yourself down heavily with this unwarranted concern while simultaneously presenting your concerns in an arena where paranoia tends to be more warranted than in your case (these people didn't congregate under the heading "Cheating, Flirting and Jealousy" by accident), why don't you try a healthy approach such as the following: As this is your long-time girlfriend, and the mother of your child, why don't you take pro-active measures in the way of broadening that woman's social base where she could hope to meet and befriend other women??? If this were 1960, it might entail joining a bowling league together, but in this day and age, and with all of this technology (keeping us at home)... people need to make concerted efforts to get out in the real world. You are aiding and abetting in the area of your girlfriend's social vacuum, which simply is not healthy for her. Instead of devoting so much time and thought to this crappy defense (where you don't need much defense at all), how about you start engineering a healthy social offense, for the good of you, your girlfriend, and the baby??? Some of your efforts this way, in 2015, could really evolve to benefit the child in 2020, and in 2028, in the way of helping that child to have a more social and outgoing personality, for having drawn examples from (parents who put down their technology and re-engaged with the human world). So far, we have your paranoia... having inspired her to quickly cease looking at some various Facebook photos. Now how about choosing a different path on this whole ordeal, for the good of everybody?? Not the outcome anyone here was expecting, Guess again... Link to post Share on other sites
D.Mc. Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 7 years together...started at 23 for her & 26 for you: that's young & lack of a range of RS's before each other. 7 years together & 1 child & another on the way & still she's your "girlfriend"...put a ring on it or you're still only a "baby daddy" - not mature enough for the title of husband & she's not secure enough to say I'm good enough to be a mother AND a wife. Combine the two & it's apparent why you freaked out over this FB thing & also it's clear why she was still in contact w/the "creep". At 30 & 32 & a growing family...come on now, the whole thing was something that should have happened to each of you in your 20's when you were single w/NO kids. This won't be the 1st or last time insecurity is going to pop up in the situation you are in together...IMO adults taking full responsibility for adult roles & raising a family just don't have these issues. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 I was semi-joking when I told her about the ass kicking part I sure hope she's smart enough! But I also think she enjoys the attention she gets from him. As soon as this guy comes online, he comes and talk to her. It's not like he's a close friend or anything, he's just a guy she used to hang with (along with other people) in college. Yes this guy lives close enough. Maybe a 20 minute drive from home. However, I saw that at one point during a previous conversation, she said to him "If you wanna go out or something, call me, I don't go out very often" and they exchanged numbers. I really didn't like this part. Just noticed she changed her facebook password... your last sentence says it all. Make her work full time because when she cheats on you and decides to leave you are going to be financially screwed. Link to post Share on other sites
Tonic Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Any Updates?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sonny357 Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 Sorry for the lack of updates. No bad news. In fact everything is going great. No more talking to this guy. She doesn't hide her passwords or anything. The guy tried to talk to her on facebook a few times and she doesn't even answer him. I even proposed to her and she said yes. I might have paranoid issues that need to be addressed. Thanks everyone for your help. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Fantastic news!! Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 Finally a happy ending for once. Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 But what did you ever make of that condom issue? You said there were 5, than all of a sudden there were only 4? Link to post Share on other sites
smuggy95 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 It still sounds bad. All sounds bad. Marriage doesn't fix anything/guarantee anything. Tell her no more lying. If it's all that innocent she doesn't need to hide it. Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Sounds too good to be true. I hope it works out of course, but I've been on the other side myself. Why are they still in contact on FB? Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 You say the guy tried to talk to her on FB a few times and she didn't answer. Okay, good, but has she removed the guy from her friends list? Since you can totally make it so a user can't contact you at all( at least I think) so I'd wonder why she hasn't blocked all forms of potential communication with this guy. That is not a good sign. Also as someone else said, there is the condom issue. Condoms do not just get up and walk away. I hope she gave you a satisfactory answer for what happened to it and I sure as hell hope you at least brought it up to her before asking her to marry you. Link to post Share on other sites
atreides Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 sounds like it may have gone underground (why is he not removed completely?), i hope not... best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
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