Is this GIGS or something else?

[Ducktape]

What difference does it make?

[unforgotten]

lol listen to this. supposedly they are allready engaged and think about getting merried next year. they are already thinking about a child because they are both very serious and he has this great job which it isnt. these info are not double checkdd but sounds just like them. this is the state my girl is currently in. two nutcases together? i mean wtf????? should i tell her family? this is a case for a psychiatric. this girl will ruin her life.

[Ducktape]

Again. What difference does it make? If she's such a psychiatrist case, why do you still care? Shouldn't you be telling yourself "Whew! That was a close one!"?

[unforgotten]

Can you imagine how I feel? We have been together for 7 years and now this. What the hell man. I still love her and this is heartbreaking.

[Ducktape]

I understand you 100%.

 

But what difference does it make? You are only hurting yourself, trying to figure out if this and that will work in her new relationship, trying to figure out what everything means, etc. You won't have an epiphany at some point and tell yourself "AH! I figured out!" ... You won't. There is no answer.

 

She left you. That's what it is. You shouldn't allow your thoughts to go any further than that. Take all that brain power back to yourself. You're wasting it all on her at the moment. You need to utilize is for your own good. To move on, to heal, to let go.

 

Not to hold on to what's no more.

[Chi townD]

lol listen to this. supposedly they are allready engaged and think about getting merried next year. they are already thinking about a child because they are both very serious and he has this great job which it isnt. these info are not double checkdd but sounds just like them. this is the state my girl is currently in. two nutcases together? i mean wtf????? should i tell her family? this is a case for a psychiatric. this girl will ruin her life.

 

 

Not your problem anymore and you are NOT in NC because you know WAY TOO MUCH about their lives. That's not NC.

 

 

You first asked if this was GIGS or not. I will tell you right know this is NOT GIGS. She cheated on you and left you for another guy. If someone left because of GIGS, it's because they left for the possibility of something else is out there for them. That's why you hear some stories of girls or guys going hog wild after they break up with you. You hear they're out partying a lot, you hear they're drunk a lot or experimenting with drugs and you hear they're sleeping around a lot with several different people. That's more or less GIGS. She left you for someone specific. She threw you under the bus and immediately got with this other dude. That's cheating!

 

 

Will she contact you again? Not right now, you keep in close contact with her anyway. But, as soon as you adopt a STRONG NC POLICY, then she might want to know what happened? Why she doesn't see you so much anymore? Basically, she'll pull on the leash and see if the dog is still there. Once she see's the dog is gone, she'll go looking for the dog.

 

 

Ignore all texts and let all phonecalls go to voicemail. and most important is to BLOCK her on Facebook! She made the choice to have you out of her life, so you give her exactly what she's asking for. You being gone.

 

 

Then, get your revenge! The best revenge you can get is to lead a DAMN good life! Continue to go to the gym and really push it. Eat right and get plenty of sleep and you'll be working towards that rock hard and cut bod that girls love! Three things girls love touching 1. Kittens 2. Puppies 3. six pack abs.

 

 

Then, go back to school and get that degree. If you have a Bachelors, then get that Masters, if you have a Masters, then get your PhD. Education is going to open a lot more doors for you to high paying jobs. Then, you'll be able to afford that kick ass townehouse in an awesome neighborhood and the car you've always wanted. Then, finally, TRAVEL!! go see the world! There's a lot of people and different cultures out there! GO SEE THEM!! Surprisingly, that will probably make her kick herself in the ass. You live in a small town, wouldn't it be cool to find out that one of your mutual friend ran into her and their conversation went a little something like this,

 

 

Ex: Hey, I haven't seen Unforgotten in a while, what's he up to? Is he alright?

 

 

Friend: He fine from what I can gather. A couple of months ago, he took a few days off and went to the Florida Keys for a deep sea fishing trip and partying it up in Key West! You should see some of the pics he has on FB!

 

 

Ex: He went to the Keys?

 

 

Friend: Yeah, looks like he had a blast.

 

 

Ex: Well....that's good, I'm glad he's happy. If you see him, can you tell him I said Hi?

 

 

Friend: Sure will! But, that won't be for a few weeks.

 

 

Ex: Why?

 

 

Friend: Because his in London at the moment. Will be for the next couple of weeks.

 

 

Ex: London....ENGLAND?!?!? Why?

 

 

Friend: Don't know, but he looks like he's having a blast there too!

 

 

That's how you get your revenge! She see's you living a damn good life full of adventure and she's stuck in the same small town, doing the same thing with douche rocket and being a baby sitter to his kid.

Edited December 1, 2014 by Chi townD

[LiveorDie57]

Not your problem anymore and you are NOT in NC because you know WAY TOO MUCH about their lives. That's not NC.

 

 

You first asked if this was GIGS or not. I will tell you right know this is NOT GIGS. She cheated on you and left you for another guy. If someone left because of GIGS, it's because they left for the possibility of something else is out there for them. That's why you hear some stories of girls or guys going hog wild after they break up with you. You hear they're out partying a lot, you hear they're drunk a lot or experimenting with drugs and you hear they're sleeping around a lot with several different people. That's more or less GIGS. She left you for someone specific. She threw you under the bus and immediately got with this other dude. That's cheating!

 

 

Will she contact you again? Not right now, you keep in close contact with her anyway. But, as soon as you adopt a STRONG NC POLICY, then she might want to know what happened? Why she doesn't see you so much anymore? Basically, she'll pull on the leash and see if the dog is still there. Once she see's the dog is gone, she'll go looking for the dog.

 

 

Ignore all texts and let all phonecalls go to voicemail. and most important is to BLOCK her on Facebook! She made the choice to have you out of her life, so you give her exactly what she's asking for. You being gone.

 

 

Then, get your revenge! The best revenge you can get is to lead a DAMN good life! Continue to go to the gym and really push it. Eat right and get plenty of sleep and you'll be working towards that rock hard and cut bod that girls love! Three things girls love touching 1. Kittens 2. Puppies 3. six pack abs.

 

 

Then, go back to school and get that degree. If you have a Bachelors, then get that Masters, if you have a Masters, then get your PhD. Education is going to open a lot more doors for you to high paying jobs. Then, you'll be able to afford that kick ass townehouse in an awesome neighborhood and the car you've always wanted. Then, finally, TRAVEL!! go see the world! There's a lot of people and different cultures out there! GO SEE THEM!! Surprisingly, that will probably make her kick herself in the ass. You live in a small town, wouldn't it be cool to find out that one of your mutual friend ran into her and their conversation went a little something like this,

 

 

Ex: Hey, I haven't seen Unforgotten in a while, what's he up to? Is he alright?

 

 

Friend: He fine from what I can gather. A couple of months ago, he took a few days off and went to the Florida Keys for a deep sea fishing trip and partying it up in Key West! You should see some of the pics he has on FB!

 

 

Ex: He went to the Keys?

 

 

Friend: Yeah, looks like he had a blast.

 

 

Ex: Well....that's good, I'm glad he's happy. If you see him, can you tell him I said Hi?

 

 

Friend: Sure will! But, that won't be for a few weeks.

 

 

Ex: Why?

 

 

Friend: Because his in London at the moment. Will be for the next couple of weeks.

 

 

Ex: London....ENGLAND?!?!? Why?

 

 

Friend: Don't know, but he looks like he's having a blast there too!

 

 

That's how you get your revenge! She see's you living a damn good life full of adventure and she's stuck in the same small town, doing the same thing with douche rocket and being a baby sitter to his kid.

 

 

He said it better than anyone else.

 

To put it mildly, this isn't GIGS. Frankly, I don't believe in GIGS.

 

She cheated on you and lied to you about it. She doesn't love you nor respect you. Don't be desperate. She just wants you to be her lapdog in case her and the other guy don't work out.

 

The fact that she rubbed it in your face should have been sign enough to leave. Don't be a doormat. Show yourself value by not sticking with someone who showed themselves to have a lack of it.

Edited December 1, 2014 by LiveorDie57

[unforgotten]

Oh, man. I woke up nervous as hell today. Makes me wanna throw up.

 

I don't feel like getting my revenge. I can have the best house, car, girl but I'll never have her. At the end of the day if she's happy with him it doesn't matter where they live and what do they do. It's him who has her and it's me who she was stolen away from. I'll always have a hole in my heart.

 

I feel hopelessness, desperation, guilt, sadness. This was the woman I thought I'll marry and have a family with. When I think about how she is going to do it with him now...it's the worst feeling in the world.

 

That we didn't make it is what's killing me. I love her. If only I could turn back time but I can't.

 

I think it's day 7 of NC. I find out stuff about her unfortunately but we haven't spoke, text or anything else. I don't think she'll contact me anytime soon. Perhaps she'll wish me a happy Christmas. I'm positive she won't contact me to keep me on her leash (I don't think she wants to keep me as a plan B - maybe just a little somewhere in the back of her head, she's all in for the new guy) but to see if I'm doing ok, perhaps to feel good about herself or just comfort me.

 

I think I lost her for good and it's killing me. This is not how it was supposed to end. It hit me like a train i never saw coming. How do I deal with this?! I don't think I'll ever completely move on. I pray that she'd come to her senses, miss me just a bit and the guy'd f*** up but that's just giving me false hope. This is so ****ty. Words cannot express how I feel.

 

Don't get me wrong. I go out with my friends, I workout, I try to maintain my hobbies. I'm not a bad person, I'm smart and looking ok. When I was out the other day I could have easily gotten laid (I didn't know there were so many easy girls outside, jesus) but I just don't feel like it. I don't think I'll be able to love someone else as much as I loved her. I didn't show it to her properly and I should have but I'd risk my life for her every single time.

 

I don't know how she doesn't see how hurt I am and how disrespectful is all this. How can you promise me you'll never leave me and beg me to not leave you or cheat on you but then you do the exact opposite. I didn't ask you for these promises but you gave them yourself and I believed you, you know? How can you jump straight into another relationship after freaking seven years. How can you not see how wrong and simply sick is all of this? Has love blinded you? And she's like what it was it was, now I want to move on. Looks like she already did move on a time ago but was to afraid to leave me and was waiting for someone to pop up and if it's the best friend from the past or perhaps even a first love so much better right? And I'm stuck here banging my head against the wall.

 

Now every news about her which I cannot avoid will hit me like a train over and over again. I don't know how I'll handle it if/when I see her one day walking with her own child. Jesus, it's a nightmare. I really do hope for her relationship to crash and burn even if we don't end up back together but than I'd at least have a chance. Once she gets pregnant it's all over for me. Oh man.

 

Yesterday I was doing quite OK, today's a different story. I appreciate your responses even if I read the same thing over and over again but it's helping me a lot. It really does. It's like an online therapy. Thanks Ducktape, ChiTown D and LiveorDie57 for your input.

Edited December 2, 2014 by unforgotten