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affairs ....it's tough to end


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GirlStillStrong

My question about how long you have been involved with MM was serious. I wasn't being judgmental or anything. I had no concept that someone could or would go that long in an affair, much less an emotional one. I just never thought about it before. I'm so glad I've gone NC before too much time has passed. I can't imagine doing that much longer than the 1 year +/- I have been waiting.

 

Thank you for this thread and everyone who has posted. This really puts things into perspective for me.

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gettingstronger

I feel like addressing all of the issues IS offering advice on how to get over your affair-

Gently, you are very self centered, you need to look outside of yourself to get the strength to do right by all in your life-

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I second and third the above. Call the suicide hotline. You have been through a major trauma. I know its hard to think of calling, but trust me, you will be glad you did.

 

No man is worth a life and you have a lot more to give in this life.

 

However, that said, I know exactly how you feel. I suffer from depression and have been in that dark hole. I actually had a failed attempt at suicide that had me end up in intensive care. I am very glad now it did not work - hell I was glad the minute I came out of my coma.

 

You can get out - I got out. Even if you need a short stint in hospital, think a year from now, five years from now, how different your life will be and how this episode will be almost meaningless to you.

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the_artist_1970
He is blocked. I think my marriage is healthy and we do great as a couple my eap was in addition to, not instead of my relationship with my h. I wasn't looking to replace anything I simply got to attached to a friend and we made the decision to end it. Its been done and he did respect my nc request UNTIL he got a group invite NOT FROM ME but probably assumed I was behind it...I WASN'T and when he came it seemed things had been sorted, my feelings were level and detached...the old original friend ship before feelings were involved was back to the forefront. Obviously I slipped back...obviously it was wrong.

It has hurt neither of our marriages so thank you AGAIN for raising a topic I told you was off the table. Im not disclosing, I feel its what's right for me and us 100%

 

Thank you to the other posters who added your thoughts as you've experienced my position and your thoughts DO help.

 

What???? You madam are a narcissist.:eek:

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What???? You madam are a narcissist.:eek:

 

I don't know that I would say that, she does seem a touch delusional. Thinking that a 14 YEAR affair has not impacted her marriage is one of the most delusional things I've read.

 

I don't see much hope, I envision her turning that energy towards yet another man in no time. Maybe I'm wrong, at any rate

 

Good luck

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MuddyFootprints
I don't know that I would say that, she does seem a touch delusional. Thinking that a 14 YEAR affair has not impacted her marriage is one of the most delusional things I've read.

 

I don't see much hope, I envision her turning that energy towards yet another man in no time. Maybe I'm wrong, at any rate

 

Good luck

 

I see this, too.

 

Define and reinforce your boundaries, herself.

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