NJ123 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 So there's this woman at my gym that seems to glance at me. I'm not sure if it happens every single time I'm there but I happen to notice it quite a bit. For instance a few days ago I seen her doing it twice. And tonight as I was in between sets of an exercise she walked by & had her back towards me looking at her phone or something. Than she turned around & looked at me for like 2-3 seconds than walked away really quick right after to go do an exercise. So could she possibly just be looking at me without any thought about it? Or does she find me attractive? I'd like to hear women's opinions on this one about how would I know if it's interest or not & what type of glancing do you do if you have interest. I remember about a month or so ago I seen her walk out with some guy, not sure if it was her boyfriend/husband or just a friend. I never seen him again with her since than though.
eye of the storm Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 If you catch her glancing at you, smile. If she smiles back she was looking at you. If she looks confused she wasn't looking at you, you might have just caught her attention for what ever reason. If you both do the smile thing back and forth a couple of times, try saying hi the next time you see her. Right now it could be any one of a hundred reasons: 1. she is interested 2. you are doing an exercise she and she is looking at your form to see how you do that particular exercise 3. she just likes to look around 4. you wear eye catching clothes 5. you make funny faces while you exercise lots and lots of reasons. So...smile and if that works out try a hi and see what that gets you. good luck 1
Author NJ123 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 If you catch her glancing at you, smile. If she smiles back she was looking at you. If she looks confused she wasn't looking at you, you might have just caught her attention for what ever reason. If you both do the smile thing back and forth a couple of times, try saying hi the next time you see her. Right now it could be any one of a hundred reasons: 1. she is interested 2. you are doing an exercise she and she is looking at your form to see how you do that particular exercise 3. she just likes to look around 4. you wear eye catching clothes 5. you make funny faces while you exercise lots and lots of reasons. So...smile and if that works out try a hi and see what that gets you. good luck Yeah, that's the thing. There's like a million possibilities of what it could be. I don't want to just flat out go up to her & chat with her & than have the complete wrong impression. Than I'd have to pretty much avoid her since I don't want it to be awkward for either of us having to see each other at the gym. It wouldn't be fair to make her uncomfortable going to the gym. But from your suggestions, I don't think it's #2, #4, or #5. Since I never really see her doing any of the exercises I do. And I don't make funny faces while exercising lol. And I normally wear the same 2 outfits or so to the gym.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 A slightly longer than usual glance and a smile is generally my go-to move when I see a total stranger I think I might like. I actually pulled this move on a guy this morning at a coffee shop that I've seen from time to time, but he still seemed unsure. As I was leaving I threw him a wink and told him he should "say hello next time". We'll see what happens. That said, the fact she hasn't smiled at you is troubling but she could be shy and have just reached her limit on how much interest she demonstrates. A lot of women really don't know how to (or feel uncomfortable) showing interest past a certain point without further incentive. Next time you see her I suggest you give her a wry smile. If she turns away or does anything other than smile back/approach later she's either not interested or too socially retarded to deal with anyway. 1
eye of the storm Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Thats why I recommended the smile first. Never hurts and sometimes helps. I work out some and there is usually a guy there. For what ever reason my eyes drift over to him sometimes. One day he smiled at me which focused my attention and of course I smiled back. The next day he came over and laughed and said "for 2 weeks I thought you were looking at me till i smiled at you". He said it was obvious that I hadn't really been looking at him till he smiled. We both had a good laugh at my wandering eyes and after that always smiled and said hi at the gym. We now have an inside joke and I look forward to seeing him. For us the connection will never go further than the gym, but hey, not all connections do. Smile at her. And then take it from there. It may take you some place amazing or it could just give you a friendly face to see.
Author NJ123 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 A slightly longer than usual glance and a smile is generally my go-to move when I see a total stranger I think I might like. I actually pulled this move on a guy this morning at a coffee shop that I've seen from time to time, but he still seemed unsure. As I was leaving I threw him a wink and told him he should "say hello next time". We'll see what happens. That said, the fact she hasn't smiled at you is troubling but she could be shy and have just reached her limit on how much interest she demonstrates. A lot of women really don't know how to (or feel uncomfortable) showing interest past a certain point without further incentive. Next time you see her I suggest you give her a wry smile. If she turns away or does anything other than smile back/approach later she's either not interested or too socially retarded to deal with anyway. Yeah, that's the thing. She never smiled at me before. I've seen her talk to some guy & I think it was his girlfriend with him the other day. But the woman who glances at me seems like she's really friendly. She just had a really friendly demeanor about her when she was chatting with them. I could be blowing this all out of proportion though because I find her really attractive so I might just be over thinking all of this.
eye of the storm Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Gonna put you on the spot. Are you going to smile at her or not. Nothing ventured nothing gained....no lotto ticket, no jackpot........... Well? 2
Author NJ123 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 Gonna put you on the spot. Are you going to smile at her or not. Nothing ventured nothing gained....no lotto ticket, no jackpot........... Well? I guess I'll try it if I see her glance at me again. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Glancing is always a sign of interest. Whether that interest is "you're cute eye candy while I'm in your presence" or "I'd like to do you right here" or something in between can't be determined from what you posted. I'd assume the guy you saw was someone important in her life but I'd still strike up a conversation to confirm that theory, then go from there.
Darren2013 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 You could be misreading the signals completely. I say don't get your hopes up and if I were in your position I would avoid looking at her as much as possible without being rude. I would only talk to her when I have to and then go about my business. Good luck.
Frank2thepoint Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I guess I'll try it if I see her glance at me again. You guess? Just go talk to her, introduce yourself, and talk about gym stuff like exercising, weights, and protein shakes. Then tell her you noticed her glancing at you, and ask her if she was glancing because she liked what she saw. Throw some humor into it. If she doesn't respond to humor, she has more testosterone than you, and you are talking to a dude. 1
Davey L Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Just give her a smile, it costs nothing, and see how she responds. Easy.
Gloria25 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 You could be misreading the signals completely. I say don't get your hopes up and if I were in your position I would avoid looking at her as much as possible without being rude. I would only talk to her when I have to and then go about my business. Good luck. Don't do this ^^...because then before you know it, you'll never know what those glances were all about. Last thing you need is to follow "self-defeating" behavior. Like Frank2thepoint says, chat her up. The gym allows you a lot of opportunities to speak to her w/o coming off as aggressive etc... If she bites, good, if not, at least you have clarity.
Author NJ123 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 Don't do this ^^...because then before you know it, you'll never know what those glances were all about. Last thing you need is to follow "self-defeating" behavior. Like Frank2thepoint says, chat her up. The gym allows you a lot of opportunities to speak to her w/o coming off as aggressive etc... If she bites, good, if not, at least you have clarity. But what if I have the complete wrong impression by chatting with her instead of smiling when she looks at me again. Like I said, I absolutely do not want to make her feel uncomfortable around me at the gym since I happen to usually be there the same time she's there.
Gloria25 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 But what if I have the complete wrong impression by chatting with her instead of smiling when she looks at me again. Like I said, I absolutely do not want to make her feel uncomfortable around me at the gym since I happen to usually be there the same time she's there. Well, that's the beauty of the gym. You can say something to her without actually "putting" yourself out there. You can ask her about the machine she used, ask her about the juice bar, ask her about the trainers/classes. The only way I can see you making her uncomfy is if you are persistent, over the top, etc. I was listening to an old podcast and you'll be amazed on what some women put up with at the gym. One woman called in cuz she said she didn't know what to do about a persistent guy. He, like every day, compliments her, asks her if she needs help with being spotted - yet, instead of her telling him to bugg off and/or feeling weird, she put up with it. Women are often like that, we even put up with abusive behavior cuz we just wanna be "polite". So, I don't see the end of the world coming in you just trying this "once" to chat her up.
StanMusial Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 But what if I have the complete wrong impression by chatting with her instead of smiling when she looks at me again. Like I said, I absolutely do not want to make her feel uncomfortable around me at the gym since I happen to usually be there the same time she's there. Make some small talk, I do it all the time with people. You don't have to hit on her per se. If that makes her uncomfortable then that's her problem. Just don't approach it like she's a piece of meat you're trying to wrestle off a hook. Even if it leads to nothing past that you'll at least have a better idea of what's going on maybe. People still talk to each other in this world. 1
Imported Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Just smile at her and say Hi. Whatever you do, don't; Try to spot her (unless she ask) Offer advice on form or anything Tell her you noticed her noticing (unless you know what you're doing) Just smile and say hi. Keep it casual, it's not even an approach. You are investing nothing here and you are not putting her on the spot making her think some guy at the gym is trying to hit on her. Usually what I notice when a girl I don't know takes an interest in me is that they make oppertunities for me to start a conversation with them or they stare and hold eye contact. Like, where ever you are, there they are, in your view. Or they're always in the way, like you're walking in a path that goes by them and they'll get up and be in the way. My favorite is when we always seem to be leaving at the same time with her walking just ahead of me. Coincidence? Means nothing? Your call. From my experience, I am pretty sure on a lot of the women and know as fact on a few. So, just smile and say hi and if she wasn't interested, you're just that nice friendly guy at the gym. If she is interested, I think it'll become obvious (women are pretty goofy or excited when a guy they like likes them back)and then you should try talking with her. 1
Author NJ123 Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 Well, I seen her tonight again but I don't think she looked at me today. She MIGHT have as she was leaving, I can't be sure though. I think I might be over thinking this though because I find her attractive. I honestly think she's out of my league though since I think she's extremely attractive. Others might not think so since it's all in the eye of the beholder. lol I'm extremely intimidated to even say anything to her I can't lie.
Darren2013 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Don't do this ^^...because then before you know it, you'll never know what those glances were all about. Last thing you need is to follow "self-defeating" behavior. Like Frank2thepoint says, chat her up. The gym allows you a lot of opportunities to speak to her w/o coming off as aggressive etc... If she bites, good, if not, at least you have clarity. All I am saying is that when people are interested in someone it is hard for them to look objectively and unbiased at what they believe to be signs of interest from the other person. When we are interested in someone it is easy to project our interest on them and we want so much to believe they feel the same way and it becomes easy to misread the signals when there's really nothing there. That's just one possibility that hopefully the OP keeps in mind which it seems like he has. As he said he doesn't want to overanalyze everything she does and he is correct in thinking that way as it shows he is not viewing the signs out of projection of his own interest in her.
Frank2thepoint Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I honestly think she's out of my league though since I think she's extremely attractive. Others might not think so since it's all in the eye of the beholder. lol I'm extremely intimidated to even say anything to her I can't lie. Wow, you gave up before you even tried. You are going to the gym to better yourself physically, which is more than many people do, yet you are intimidated by some woman that glanced at you? Are you taking steroids which shrank your balls?
Author NJ123 Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 All I am saying is that when people are interested in someone it is hard for them to look objectively and unbiased at what they believe to be signs of interest from the other person. When we are interested in someone it is easy to project our interest on them and we want so much to believe they feel the same way and it becomes easy to misread the signals when there's really nothing there. That's just one possibility that hopefully the OP keeps in mind which it seems like he has. As he said he doesn't want to overanalyze everything she does and he is correct in thinking that way as it shows he is not viewing the signs out of projection of his own interest in her. That's EXACTLY it. I think due to my own huge interest in her, I'm thinking she feels the same which is highly likely not the case at all.
Author NJ123 Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 Wow, you gave up before you even tried. You are going to the gym to better yourself physically, which is more than many people do, yet you are intimidated by some woman that glanced at you? Are you taking steroids which shrank your balls? lol ha. fair enough. It's just I think I'm way overthinking this anyway due to my own interest in her. There's probably an extremely low chance of her having any interest outside of possibly thinking I'm simply attractive to her.
soyou Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 She may be interested .... Just find a chance working out next to her, nodding your head and saying "hi". If she gives you a big and friendly smile back, there is a hope. I often check people out at the gym, especially good looking guys or those who have the body type I like. I could glance at them when they dont pay attention, I often catch them looking at me as well when I suddenly look up or turn around. Some guys smile and say hello to me or work out next to me. No love or date has come out from the gym so far but it definately keeps me working out my ass off. ;-))
Author NJ123 Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 She may be interested .... Just find a chance working out next to her, nodding your head and saying "hi". If she gives you a big and friendly smile back, there is a hope. I often check people out at the gym, especially good looking guys or those who have the body type I like. I could glance at them when they dont pay attention, I often catch them looking at me as well when I suddenly look up or turn around. Some guys smile and say hello to me or work out next to me. No love or date has come out from the gym so far but it definately keeps me working out my ass off. ;-)) Well, that's the thing. She's never smiled at me once whenever I notice her looking at me. So I just take it that she either has a boyfriend/husband already or she just simply finds me attractive to look at but has no interest beyond that.
carhill Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 How/When do you know if glancing is a sign of interest? If it's followed by a candlelight dinner overlooking the gently lapping waters of the bay with long held gazes and quiet touches in the night, and then we die. In other words, it's impossible. If you like someone, ask them on a date and keep showing up until she/you doesn't or one of you dies. There are, save for one, no guaranteed outcomes in life. FWIW, there have been thousands of women who've given me the once, or twice, or thrice over 'glance' in life, and hundreds who have more overtly flirted or become 'familiar' beyond that of abject stranger. I was married to one. That probably explains it better than anything. All the rest were the nether. The glances in the gym may be the nether or the one. In my gym it would be the nether. In yours, unknown. See how it goes.
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