Christophe Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Just gone past a tricky milestone yesterday as it was my ex's birthday. I resisted the temptation to send her a happy birthday message as we have been split up for 5 months now. That is the same amount of time that we were together for. I still struggle to believe that I will ever find anyone who makes me feel the way she did. Also I struggle to believe that a girl as beautiful as her will ever be so crazy about me again. She was my first love and I am 23 years old. My question is how do you keep hope and faith that you will find someone as good as your ex or better in the future? Everyone keeps telling me I will but I just don't see how it is possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Hardly any hope, but you can probably find better. Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 She was your first love, so it's understandable you put her on a pedestal. But you are so young, many people will come into your life that you haven't even met yet. Trust me on that. Have faith, in life, luck and most importantly yourself. You will grow emotionally over the years and one day you may meet someone who surpasses your ex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Christophe Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 Went to the doctors today and was given some medication to try and help my mood. Got home and decided I'm not going to take it. I want to pull myself out of this myself. I have to do everything I can to be positive and try to maintain the momentum when I am feeling better. I want to find a way out of this and not rely on medication to try and save me. I want to be in control. A lot of people believe in me and I just have to start believing in myself again. I need to try and not put pressure on myself in social situations and do my best to be present in the moment and not think about my ex. It has changed though without doubt. I found myself missing my ex badly last night after I went to see my favourite band on my own. I felt so lacking and that I wanted to share the experience with her. I was so tempted to unblock her on Facebook and see new photos of her (even though I knew this would make things worse). Thankfully I didn't do anything and talked to a good friend which helped. It's a strange state to be in now though. Like I am not going searching for love but also want to have belief that it will happen again some day. Link to post Share on other sites
KBarletta Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Christophe, It is a cliche, but it will happen when you least expect it. For now, just put one foot in front of the other, keep doing things that make you happy and try not to think too much about it. Just be. When the time is right, it will happen. When I broke up with my first love, I thought the world was going to end, too, but it didn't. It took time, but I got over it, moved on, and was actually better for it. Trust me, you will be too. Just hang in there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ballycastle Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 (edited) Christophe, It is a cliche, but it will happen when you least expect it. How do you know this?? I can't abide glib sentiment when someone's in the throws of pain. That's like telling someone whose lost a child they'll get pregnant again. You wouldn't dare to, so why does breaking up and being heart broken carry less weight? We all seem to feel uncomfortable with the prospect we might be alone for the rest of our lives. I'm resigned to never loving or finding someone again the pain is too raw and too forever. So how do you know this isn't just it?? Edited November 22, 2014 by ballycastle Link to post Share on other sites
Author Christophe Posted November 22, 2014 Author Share Posted November 22, 2014 It is true that I fell in love with my ex and did not expect to. I wasn't particularly looking for love at the time. I was thinking more to the future and going travelling on my own. That is when I met her. I like the hope that love will come again when I least expect it. The thing is being in love has changed me and I think there will always be a hope or expectation of finding love whenever I go out socially. Then when I don't find it I feel kind of hopeless and disappointed. Everyone I talk to says I will feel the same way again for someone else. I know I need to trust everyone with experience and believe in myself. Easier said than done though a lot of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 You have to think about this logically. (Call me Spock) How many females are there in this world? How many just nearby you? Of those females how many are there who are around the same age as you? You're 23. How many more years do you think you have on this earth? (I'd say you have quite some time left) So in all those years, out of all those females... I understand it's hard to imagine loving someone else again but you will. Maybe you won't love them more than your ex but you will meet another girl, like another girl and fall for another girl. It's inevitable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Christophe Posted November 22, 2014 Author Share Posted November 22, 2014 Thanks me85 I realise that thinking logically it is surely inevitable. I guess the hard thing is I am going out more and meeting more women now than I ever did before I met my ex, yet I have not felt any connection with anyone like I did with my ex. It's just quite tough trying to develop a state of mind where I am not looking for the next girl. It's like the innocence is gone and now there is a comparison every time I meet a new girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Christophe Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 Was having a good day today. Had a good gym session this morning and played some guitar. Started thinking about my ex tonight though and there is a big temptation to unblock her on facebook. I know I can't though because it will be too painful to see new photos of her. I woke up this morning feeling flat too because I dreamed about her again. Man this is such a battle. I can't help thinking back to a year ago when our romance was blossoming. I had no idea how amazing it would feel falling in love with her last January. I try not to think about it but it just feels like such a devastating loss. Hard to believe I can experience what I had a year ago once more. Link to post Share on other sites
OneConfuzedGuy Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Was having a good day today. Had a good gym session this morning and played some guitar. Started thinkin. Mg about my ex tonight though and there is a big temptation to unblock her on facebook. I know I can't though because it will be too painful to see new photos of her. I woke up this morning feeling flat too because I dreamed about her again. Man this is such a battle. I can't help thinking back to a year ago when our romance was blossoming. I had no idea how amazing it would feel falling in love with her last January. I try not to think about it but it just feels like such a devastating loss. Hard to believe I can experience what I had a year ago once more. Dude this is exactly how I am feeling. The dream are killing me and making it worse. I dont know how I am supposed to deal with it. Mornings are the worst for me and I dont know how long it will take to feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
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