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What does this all mean???

Need advice

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My boyfriend broke up with me in December because he said he didn't have the feelings for me that he thought he should have at that time. We were seeing each other 8 months at that point. We got along very well. We enjoyed being together and doing things and our conversations were always enjoyable. He even told me this when he told me that he felt we should see other people.


So, this is my confusion. He continues to call me on a regular basis. This week for example, he called me on Sunday, Monday, twice on Tuesday and twice on Wednesday. I ended up going out to his house last night to share pizza with him. I basically gave him the cold shoulder the times prior to last night and he seemed to try harder or he was more persistent to get to see me. I think that he has feelings for me but is afraid of commitment. We ended up falling asleep on his floor while watching TV and we woke up around 1:45 this morning and I apologized to him for keeping him from going to bed. He said that was ok because it was the most restful sleep he had in awhile. He also called me to go out on Valentine's Day and afterwards, he came back to my place and he eventually fell asleep after talking for awhile. Again, he said how relaxed he was and wished that he didn't have to get up to go home. We are not sexually initimate at this time so, it isn't like he is looking for sex from me.


I don't know what to do. It is so hard to be with him because I have very strong feelings for him and he knows it. I try to hide my feelings but I can't do that very well. I don't know if he is looking to see if there is something better out there and he is just keeping me hanging around in case he can't find anything better. Like I said, we got along great. That is the frustrating part. If we fought or didn't enjoy being with each other, it would be easier to deal with the break-up.


Does anyone have any advice for me??



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It really sounds like a classic case of not wanting what is readily available to him and having a desire for that which is a bit removed. And there's a second and third possible diagnosis below. One at a time.


1. There are many men who just aren't excited about a relationship once it settles in to a comfortable predictability, stability...once their lady has told him she loves him and will always be there for him. They tend to want more of what is elusive.


These men are basically immature and aren't ready for a stable, committed relationship. Some Peter Pan types are never ready.


So, once he broke up with you all of a sudden you became more desireable again...like you were before you started seeing him on a steady basis.


2. There's also a very excellent chance that he didn't realize just how deep his feelings were for you until the break-up. There's an old saying, "Love knows not its own depth, except in the hour of separation."


It is very possible that he now knows just how much he cares about you but having made a fool of himself by breaking up with you, his male ego may not quite know how to express this to you. He may very well be afraid of what your reaction might be. I personally think a lady would be pretty pissed if a guy broke up with her...then came back and said "whoops, so sorry, made a mistake."


It really does seem like he's been throwing some pretty strong hints that this may be the case...like getting such wonderful sleep when you are around.


3. Thirdly, he could very well be afraid of the feelings he was having for you and it was easier to break up with you than to manage them. Upon the break up, he may have still had these strong feelings but being at arms length he is now better able to cope with them. For some men, moving on down the road to intimacy is horrifying.


No matter what his problem is, don't let him jerk you around because of his head problems. If I were you, I would sit down and try to get into his head...see just what's up. People are very complicated. He may not come clean with you. However, if he really loves you and you just tell him to get lost that may be what he needs to profess his feelings.


I think this dude is real confused in any case. You don't need to be part of that confusion. If you can't clear it up soon, don't allow his problems to hurt you and complicate your life.


Guys are pretty strange creatures...don't you love it?

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NO, I don't love...it drives me insane!! LOL!


I have been trying to get "into his head" without him knowing it is me. I have been emailing him under a different name because he had an ad on a website prior to us dating and I found it and never said anything to him. So, I have been trying to get information this way. He has told me (while talking to this pseudo person) that he is looking for the girl of his dreams...someone who makes his heart stop everytime he sees her. I responded back and said that I didn't believe that this always happened. I know when him and I dated that his heart did something because he followed me around at a party and then once we were dating he called me every night and I figured if he didn't have some kind of feelings for me that he wouldn't have done these things.


So, should I ask him straight out again, what was missing in our relationship since he has told me numerous times how nice it is when we do different things together. He has friends that I think interfered because they were jealous that we got along so well and that we were so serious.


Please tell me if I should once again open myself to being hurt by asking him a few more questions. I just don't think that most normal men would continue to pursue someone if they didn't have feelings for them...is this opinion correct?

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He obviously cares about you and misses you from the actions he took, calling you and spending time with you, and wanting more of that.


I think you should get together with him, he is showing signs that he cares about you, and that he made a mistake when he broke up with you.


What he's done is really nice, but proceed with caution, you don't want to be hurt again, yet you said you have strong feelings for him, so you should give him another chance, I know I would if I made that mistake of breaking up when it wasn't meant to be.

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Yeah, this kid is confused.


I don't he is sure of what he wants. My take on it is that he has those beautiful warm feelings of love and caring when with you, and that's what keeps him there..but he can't shut down the male chemicals that drove him away looking for 'newness'. I've heard all this ##### before.


He's a bit selfish..I mean what does he want?. But the again he was honest with you and broke up with you because it didn't feel right to him.


I think you should limit contact with him, it will pressure him subjectively, but not objectively to re-think his requirements for that 'dream girl'. Ask him where his head is at now, but do it in the most nonthreatening way possible, and if continues to be the same, let your feet do the walking...


There's no easy way out of this...

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