me85 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I guess I am holding on to hope - hoping something will happen... though I am just moving on with my life as it stands because with her rebound "there is nothing I can do" she made that very clear 3 weeks ago... Going to persist with NC and just hoping that she gets it!!! Btw. It was a replacement me father with 2 kids exactly how I am... Keep ya head up. Things get better. I promise you that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Drandazzo Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 Keep ya head up. Things get better. I promise you that. I am trying to - today has been the worst day for me since BU, feeling really down and depressed... I think to myself, I wonder if she still misses me, she has been with this new guy for a touch over a month.. I wonder if she is still comparing me to this new guy... there are some days I wish she would just make contact with me and say "lets give it another go".... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Drandazzo Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 Struggling today - not sure why... its almost like my past has caught up with me... and I don't know why!!! I need someone to help decode this. Ex-GF 28 days NC so far - yes I am still in love with her, broken up since Sep 30. She got into a relationship 2-3 weeks after breakup, feel she still is in relationship -be it rebound or not.. not too sure, she doesn't seem to post anything on Facebook anymore since the breakup and how she felt hurt... He is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE to me... I am seeing a girl - she is infatuated with me, tells me she is falling for me etc... I am just not ready for her, she is a good girl, I really don't want to hurt her.. I also maybe in rebound. I like her, but I just cannot commit to her and told her this as I am still stuck in the past. I went out for a drink last night with another past ex-GF I had a relationship with, damn she looks hot... we had a good chat about relationships, me and her seemed aligned, didn't speak about catching up again, though was good to see her... I got another date with another girl, she is cute too... she is taking it really slow My ex-wife and I caught up yesterday too, it is definitely over between us, been over 4 years, and we joke around on text how she is trying to caught a new guy... I am cool with that, just hope she hurry's up so she no longer busts my balls. ------ Why is my past catching up to me, why am I even seeing a woman... I just want my ex back and the way things used to be... I am missing her a lot... her birthday is next week, got plenty of advise not to contact her and make her miss you... etc... Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 I think there's a tendency in the wake of something emotionally unstable like what you're going through to consider everything with a kind of dramatic perspective. We want to make patterns, tie everything together, give explanations to the mysterious. It's just that our lives have been turned upside down. There's nothing wrong with it. If it gives you comfort, all the better. Her birthday will come. It's supposed to mean something. It will mean nothing. Another sort of anniversary will come along---again signifying nothing. Gradually time will erode the importance of these things. They won't be as sharp. You'll be able to walk on them barefoot. Link to post Share on other sites
Chin Up Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Because you're rebounding. There's a reason why they say rebounds never work or last. In my case, friends kept telling me to get out there and meet other guys. In retrospect, talking to guys and getting hit on was great. It helped a lot with my recently battered self esteem. Rejection sucks..I felt like an undesirable old toad. So I can definitely advocate the benefits of chatting up the other sex after a b/u. BUT... lol I was also stuck with all these feelings for my ex that I didn't know what to do with. I missed having someone to care for, and that cares back. Someone to talk about my day with, do things with, cuddling to a movie, goofing around and being silly, someone to show interest in me, good morning/night texts..you know, relationship stuff lol.. I met a guy at the pub and he seemed decent enough. I was interested..we exchanged numbers..he turned out to me an oddball so it never went anywhere after a few days of texting, but it made me realize I just wanted to make this guy a pseudo-effigy of my ex, until I was over my ex. Bad girl, I know . I was comparing this guy to my ex a lot and all it did was make me miss my ex even more! I'm glad it never progressed because deep down I knew I would end up dropping this guy and I would feel terrible for having led him on. I've sworn off of dating for a while. I need to get back to good on my own. Nobody can help me with that and I'd be lying if I didn't say I was just using them so I don't feel alone. When I hit that day where I think "WOAH, I haven't thought about my ex in..*counting fingers*..wow, I can't even remember how long..weeks at least! :D" That's when I know I'll be ready and receptive for dating again. Maybe take a break from the dating scene for a while. It clearly isn't making you feel any better. Sit back and love yourself for a while! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Drandazzo Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 Because you're rebounding. There's a reason why they say rebounds never work or last. In my case, friends kept telling me to get out there and meet other guys. In retrospect, talking to guys and getting hit on was great. It helped a lot with my recently battered self esteem. Rejection sucks..I felt like an undesirable old toad. So I can definitely advocate the benefits of chatting up the other sex after a b/u. BUT... lol I was also stuck with all these feelings for my ex that I didn't know what to do with. I missed having someone to care for, and that cares back. Someone to talk about my day with, do things with, cuddling to a movie, goofing around and being silly, someone to show interest in me, good morning/night texts..you know, relationship stuff lol.. I met a guy at the pub and he seemed decent enough. I was interested..we exchanged numbers..he turned out to me an oddball so it never went anywhere after a few days of texting, but it made me realize I just wanted to make this guy a pseudo-effigy of my ex, until I was over my ex. Bad girl, I know . I was comparing this guy to my ex a lot and all it did was make me miss my ex even more! I'm glad it never progressed because deep down I knew I would end up dropping this guy and I would feel terrible for having led him on. I've sworn off of dating for a while. I need to get back to good on my own. Nobody can help me with that and I'd be lying if I didn't say I was just using them so I don't feel alone. When I hit that day where I think "WOAH, I haven't thought about my ex in..*counting fingers*..wow, I can't even remember how long..weeks at least! :D" That's when I know I'll be ready and receptive for dating again. Maybe take a break from the dating scene for a while. It clearly isn't making you feel any better. Sit back and love yourself for a while! Its great to get a woman's perspective on this, rebounds do not work - why because I am in one and it just makes me think more of my ex. This is the last thing I want to do.. It is not fair on the person your dating too - your time and energy rather than being invested in the new relationship is caught up with the old. Your trying to make/force the new person into the same patterns as your ex... I am doing all the right things - eating right, gym, walking... the things I am doing wrong - having sex with another woman just brings up emotions of the previous relationship.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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