vjk Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Well, to be quite honest, it's fairly easy for most men to get laid or get into relationships. If you look at most studies on the subject around 5-7% of men are virgins by age 25. So it's rare to find a guy in his mid to late 20s who is inexperienced. 7% isn't a rare number, that's about 1 in 13. You could know a number of people like this. Guys will not go around broadcasting this, unless they enjoy being ostracized. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 7% isn't a rare number, that's about 1 in 13. You could know a number of people like this. Guys will not go around broadcasting this, unless they enjoy being ostracized. Well, since most of the studies I've seen on the subject consider anyone who hasn't had vaginal intercourse a "virgin" (in other words oral sex and sex between homosexual partners doesn't count), I'd wager that the number of heterosexual men who have never had any kind of sexual contact by age 25 is somewhere around 2-3%, less than half of that 7%. The OP has also admitted to never kissing a girl and having never been on a date. By his age, less than 1% of the heterosexual male population fits that description. It's just not that common for men to have difficulty finding sexual or romantic partners. It's really not that difficult for anyone. Most people who have dating problems have problems finding the right person, not a difficulty finding someone who will even tolerate their presence... Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Have you ever tried asking out fat girls? You are probably asking out girls way out of your league. Right now, just look for any girl that is a warm body with a hole. You have to start somewhere and there is some lonely shy girl just waiting for you. Just make sure she is over 18. Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Are you a christian? there are a lot of christian girls that won't have sex until marriage. Just start going to church and you will eventually find a girl to marry you. Also mormons are pretty strict on pre-marital sex. A co-worker of mine was an ex-priest and I'm pretty sure he waited until marriage to have sex; after he left the seminary in his 30's. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AVarma Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 Are you a christian? there are a lot of christian girls that won't have sex until marriage. Just start going to church and you will eventually find a girl to marry you. Also mormons are pretty strict on pre-marital sex. A co-worker of mine was an ex-priest and I'm pretty sure he waited until marriage to have sex; after he left the seminary in his 30's. No I'm a muslim, so unfortunately I've going that against me as well. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Doesn't your culture practice arranged marriages? Link to post Share on other sites
Snowman219 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Ah, the virgin-of-the-month has arrived seeking validation. Take it from a guy who was once in your shoes: You're putting a whole lot of thought into something that matters a whole lot of not. Actually if these posters are in fact female, the majority of them have stated they'd rather not know or not do it. Then again this is the internet and I've realized it's full of elitist pricks. So basically it means they think highly of themselves when they shouldn't. I think it's funny to be honest, to get upset at a man for being a virgin. And this is why we are single, and a virgin, yes. But also, this is why most stay away from relationships. To the women that said they wouldn't go for it: You are worthless and invisible. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Well, since most of the studies I've seen on the subject consider anyone who hasn't had vaginal intercourse a "virgin" (in other words oral sex and sex between homosexual partners doesn't count), I'd wager that the number of heterosexual men who have never had any kind of sexual contact by age 25 is somewhere around 2-3%, less than half of that 7%. The OP has also admitted to never kissing a girl and having never been on a date. By his age, less than 1% of the heterosexual male population fits that description. It's just not that common for men to have difficulty finding sexual or romantic partners. It's really not that difficult for anyone. Most people who have dating problems have problems finding the right person, not a difficulty finding someone who will even tolerate their presence... The bolded always struck me as funny. IMO it takes quite a lot of skill to give good oral sex to a woman, so one would think that that's where experience would matter, if it did at all. That being said, I think such studies are flawed because they sample a specific subset of people and tend to be opt-in. Men who are virgins (by any definition) are unlikely to choose to participate in such studies for various reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
vjk Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Well, since most of the studies I've seen on the subject consider anyone who hasn't had vaginal intercourse a "virgin" (in other words oral sex and sex between homosexual partners doesn't count), I'd wager that the number of heterosexual men who have never had any kind of sexual contact by age 25 is somewhere around 2-3%, less than half of that 7%. The OP has also admitted to never kissing a girl and having never been on a date. By his age, less than 1% of the heterosexual male population fits that description. It's just not that common for men to have difficulty finding sexual or romantic partners. It's really not that difficult for anyone. Most people who have dating problems have problems finding the right person, not a difficulty finding someone who will even tolerate their presence... Studies,really.Do you think studies are accurate? I can point out random studies that range from 3% to 30% in some regions (look up 30+ virgin males in Japan). Do you believe 95% people are employed now, because there's a 5% unemployment rate? I've never seen a questionnaire on this . Where are they given: in school, random phone calls, when you enter a sweep stakes, stuck between the viagra email spam, etc? I don't find it easy at all at this point to even find available women to ask for date. Most guys I know really did not have many girlfriends. And, I know a half dozen or so who never had a long term relationship. Here I can say anonymously that I have the same problem as the OP without worrying about negative repercussions. It was a very easy trap to fall into . I doubt I fit most people's preconceived notion of a Quasimodo or bow tie wearing Steve Urkel clone. I'm in my 30's, heterosexual, have a reasonable height of 5'10, make a good living, have my house nearly paid off, not even close to ugly, and am socially competent when necessary. I come here time to time, hoping to find ideas on how to break out of this dateless routine. I don't get too hung up on the sex thing. Don't get me wrong, every guy wants it. I'm far more concerned about a future possibility of not having a family, tickets for one at the theater, two way conversations with myself, photos on wall of my dog, holidays alone, gifts with tags saying "TO: me , FROM: me", and finally someone getting idea after I'm dead "Hey, there's no one to claim this corpse; Let's sell it as a cadaver to a medical college , so the students have something to practice on." Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 No I'm a muslim, so unfortunately I've going that against me as well. Then why don't you go to the Mosque and try to meet Muslim girls? there seems to be lots of muslims in the world, i'm sure you can find one on online dating or something. Are you ugly, maybe try to look better, wear nicer clothes, comb your hair, get contact lenses, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Then why don't you go to the Mosque and try to meet Muslim girls? there seems to be lots of muslims in the world, i'm sure you can find one on online dating or something. Are you ugly, maybe try to look better, wear nicer clothes, comb your hair, get contact lenses, etc. Men and women worship in the Mosque separately. Women are not to fratinize with men at any gathering. Their customs are very different than western views. Most meet women through arranged meetings with family. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Studies,really.Do you think studies are accurate? I can point out random studies that range from 3% to 30% in some regions (look up 30+ virgin males in Japan). Do you believe 95% people are employed now, because there's a 5% unemployment rate? I've never seen a questionnaire on this . Where are they given: in school, random phone calls, when you enter a sweep stakes, stuck between the viagra email spam, etc? I don't find it easy at all at this point to even find available women to ask for date. Most guys I know really did not have many girlfriends. And, I know a half dozen or so who never had a long term relationship. Here I can say anonymously that I have the same problem as the OP without worrying about negative repercussions. It was a very easy trap to fall into . I doubt I fit most people's preconceived notion of a Quasimodo or bow tie wearing Steve Urkel clone. I'm in my 30's, heterosexual, have a reasonable height of 5'10, make a good living, have my house nearly paid off, not even close to ugly, and am socially competent when necessary. I come here time to time, hoping to find ideas on how to break out of this dateless routine. I don't get too hung up on the sex thing. Don't get me wrong, every guy wants it. I'm far more concerned about a future possibility of not having a family, tickets for one at the theater, two way conversations with myself, photos on wall of my dog, holidays alone, gifts with tags saying "TO: me , FROM: me", and finally someone getting idea after I'm dead "Hey, there's no one to claim this corpse; Let's sell it as a cadaver to a medical college , so the students have something to practice on." I'm talking specifically about the United States. I would say generally "the western world" but Europe and Canada have what seems to be a much more relaxed attitude about sex than the US, so you're likely to see fewer sexual dysfunction in those societies. As for the accuracy of the studies, when you consistently see the same numbers in studies, and those findings jive with what you observe in the world, it's fair to say that it's fairly likely that those studies are accurate. Or at least that they can be used as a baseline for estimates. Now, I don't know about you, but I can think of only two people I know (other than myself) who have never had sex by age 25. My sample size is small, true. But unless I see some kind of overwhelming evidence refuting the numbers I mentioned, I'm going to go ahead and accept their validity. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 'm in my 30's, heterosexual, have a reasonable height of 5'10, make a good living, have my house nearly paid off, not even close to ugly, and am socially competent when necessary. I come here time to time, hoping to find ideas on how to break out of this dateless routine. I don't get too hung up on the sex thing. Don't get me wrong, every guy wants it. I'm far more concerned about a future possibility of not having a family, tickets for one at the theater, two way conversations with myself, photos on wall of my dog, holidays alone, gifts with tags saying "TO: me , FROM: me", and finally someone getting idea after I'm dead "Hey, there's no one to claim this corpse; Let's sell it as a cadaver to a medical college , so the students have something to practice on." My guess is by not being hung-up on the sex thing its part of the reason you have not been more assertive in getting action. Waiting for women to give you good signs they are interested in you to proceed...it ain't working alas. By 30 your social circles can dry up as all your friends are in couple land. Unfortunately you will have to exert yourself to try get involved in activities and network at work to social functions, find a wingman to go out with. Somehow you also have to change yourself either in physique or dress style or mannerism/confidence, to help diminish the weaknesses that were making it hard for you when younger. If you don't change in someway it will still hinder you as it has in the past but as you get older you get the added negative of having women think..'ewww I don't want to be charity gf for some loser no other woman wanted'. Working on building a productive single life and women will eventually see you as a good catch is no great consolation. You'll just be a settled for when a woman feels her sex appeal fading as a nice guy provider. Do you think you need to change or have you in some way in last few yrs? It is not as easy to radically change your personality as some people here think, but you will have to do your best make yourself more outgoing at the least. hit the gym and start building a new you for starters. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 I find it's best not to take what women say about virgins to heart. When I was still a virgin, I used to consciously look for things that women said negatively about male virgins to validate my insecurity and despair at still being a virgin. When I was able to finally be objective and accept that I was indeed a late bloomer, it was easier to move forward romantically. And I wasn't bothered about women who said I should have experience and ignored me, I went and found a girl who just didn't care and wanted to f*ck me anyway. You ask "but it's rare, isn't it?". Not really that rare, it's at the same rate most people find someone who want's to f*ck them. You just have to go and meet more people and actually craft your persona - thus building up some confidence. Improving your physique and overall body language also helps. Sooner or later, you'll meet a cluster of women who like you. Anyway, you did ask for ladies opinions, so I'll bow out now . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AVarma Posted November 9, 2014 Author Share Posted November 9, 2014 Anyway, you did ask for ladies opinions, so I'll bow out now . Well that was probably my mistake. Let's just state for the record that if there are guys out there who lost their virginity later I'd like to hear their opinions too. Hell it would probably be more useful to hear from real life experiences than to hear women's opinions on a hypothetical situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AVarma Posted November 9, 2014 Author Share Posted November 9, 2014 By the way for you ladies out there, if you did ended up dating a guy who you later found out was a virgin, would you tell your friends and family about it? I know women like to gossip and I'm wondering how many people will likely find out if end up dating and hopefully having sex. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 The guy wouldn't have to tell me, I would just know. And sure I might mention it to a few people. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 You are right. A 28 year old isn't interested in starting all over again. Finding a husband is on her agenda. She hasn't the time to be wasting on teaching a man to satisfy her, and she has every right to expect sexual compatibility if she wants marriage, and to start a family. Good sex in a marriage is very important part to sustain it for the long haul. This is why they run at this age so either you find a inexperienced girl, a much younger girl or a sympathetic cougar to get things started. TBH I would just rent a hooker. men in your position do it all the time. No one needs to know. Sex will change your demeanor. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 You are right. A 28 year old isn't interested in starting all over again. Finding a husband is on her agenda. She hasn't the time to be wasting on teaching a man to satisfy her, and she has every right to expect sexual compatibility if she wants marriage, and to start a family. Good sex in a marriage is very important part to sustain it for the long haul. This is why they run at this age so either you find a inexperienced girl, a much younger girl or a sympathetic cougar to get things started. TBH I would just rent a hooker. men in your position do it all the time. No one needs to know. Sex will change your demeanor. I thought younger women were only interested in older men because they had more experience. Both general life experience and sexual experience. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 As for other people learning about it, I'm kind of tempted to get a tattoo advertising my virginity. Something visible, like maybe across my bicep or something. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Be like every other 20 something year old virgin does.....go to Vegas. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Be like every other 20 something year old virgin does.....go to Vegas. To gamble? Seriously, I'm just not all that interested in sex without that emotional connection. I'm only 26, I'm hoping it's not too late to find a nice girl and date her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Alcohol will fix that, and being in a fun atmosphere....should try it sometime. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Most women won't date an older virgin guy, though not because he is a virgin. They won't date him because the guy is awkward, insecure and uncomfortable around women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 YThis is why they run at this age so either you find a inexperienced girl, a much younger girl Hah, that's exactly what I'm trying to do and I get so much flack for it on this forum. People keep telling me to find a woman my age, as if a woman my age wants an inexperienced guy LOL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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