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My daily break up Diary, warts n all, x rated, start...to finish.


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  • Author
Posted

Today has been a strange day. Def one of the toughest.

 

Im pretty sure going out last night and seeing what was out there triggered a panic and made me miss what i had.

I joined a yoga class for the first time which wasn't as helpful as i hoped. Its kinda like being trapped with your thoughts for an hour. I then went to a dinner party with all couples and was just really sad and miserable the whole day. Im trying my best to keep active but its tough.

 

I don't know what stage this is, maybe its becoming more real that we are done. Maybe the same is happening to her right now.

Its been 3 weeks since we last went out as a couple. It's still hard to understand why it went from being great to her ending it for no real reason. She was mad because she thought i lied about something. I didn't and thats a really frustrating thing to live with that she didn't know me well enough to believe me.

Day 12 was not a good one. Work wise I made a bunch of money today but i'm ending it alone in bed, with tears in my eyes and a complete emptiness. Back to work tomorrow. Back out in the evening and its back to the sleeping pills for now for some peace.

  • Author
Posted

Another **** day. I dont want people to come on here and become depressed reading this but honestly i was expecting things to pick up by now.

I think that after a week or so u get a second wind and realise that person is gone and it kinda all starts again.

So, you are gonna feel like crap for at least 3 months by my estimation.

Gym is probably the best way to feel good. But remember that they will be having the same pain and that you can hold out and fight this. And hopefully in 3 months time u can read this depressing drivel and know that if i can do it u can do it.

 

I dont think im gonna log on here every day. Ill log in next time im feeling better, however long that is. I dont think anyone needs a daily reminder of how horrific break ups are!

 

Til the next time!

  • Author
Posted

Two weeks to the day since i got dumped. For no ****ing reason tbh and thats becoming more apparent as my brain takes over from heart and i regain my control.

I went out on my own Monday night, bumped into some people i knew, chatted to some girls. Went out on my own last night then cameback and googled about exes coming back for 3 hours n fell asleep and then woke up feeling sick.

And that is what it is. It goes in waves. For the last few hours iv felt really good about life, about being single and who i am. I can feel progress being made.

 

I have done EVERYTHING through this break up from shout, cry , spend hours talking to friends about it, but here is what i have NOT done.

1. I havent Been drunk - don't need that emotional rollercoaster

2. I havent Hooked up with anyone. Dont need that empty feeling afterwards

3. I havent Spoke to my ex, looked at my exes social, answered her phonecalls.

 

I've done everything i can to get through this and i can feel it working. And i think in two weeks i will be back on the road to recovery.

There are going to be more **** days and more emotional rollercoasters but SHE will never know that. To her i'm a ghost and thats what you deserve when you drop someone, a lifetime of silence.

There is a huge pain in my stomach, in your stomach. Do not ignore it. Get used to it as it will stay there for a long time. But know that you can carry on and beat it.

**** anyone who thinks you arent good enough for them. Let them figure that mistake out themselves and move on.

Posted

Feeling it today 14 days since I spoke to him. 4 days after the break up. Haven't heard a word think it makes it easier. We are pretty much at the same point. I go from happy to angry to sad. I'm in relief at the moment

  • Author
Posted

Day 16.

Thought i was completely over it when i went to bed last night but then woke up feeling like total crap again and had a bad day.

Anger, hurt, sadness, frustration all there, all day.

But i focused on my work and forced myself to go out ALONE. And i met two smoking hot twins. Got their phone number to meet up and my iphone has literally just collapsed. I cant even turn it on. So i'm ****ing distraught at the moment. They were lovely and i didn't think about my ex once when i was talking to them.

 

If you are on here wallowing in self pity trust me that ain gonna help. Force urself to go out and make some new memories

Posted

jackinthebox1 it's hypocritical to be all high and mighty with others this site, telling them how weak they are and giving them your own interpreted hard dose of reality, when you are obviously having your own issues and not dealing with your breakup in the healthiest way. Maybe you could try being more compassionate.

  • Author
Posted

I completely honest in every post i make here. Its only been two weeks, it doesnt just go away. But im not looking for sympathy and im not doing anything stupid like answer calls or texts.

Im up for giving sympathy if people listen. Its pointless asking for advice then ignoring it.

This diary is pretty pointless for me now, im continuing it so that people can see it over a month and know that

1) If you keep NC they will contact you. But u should ignore it

2) Its a rollercoaster of emotions that you have to continualy fight but it gets better.

 

Im not giving anyone a hard time for having a bad day, i've clearly had a lot of them, but im out every night and day trying to move on, and thats what i advocate for

  • Author
Posted

Day 18

Day 18. Wow. It's a very weird ride for sure and nearly hitting the 3 week stage i can tell you this.

It doesnt get much better, at times it seems to, then it gets worse. Its not a daily decline on your emotions. Its going to be more of a measure over a month kinda thing.

Last few days were kinda tough. I went to two parties where people knew my ex and were talking about seeing her etc

But iv forced myself to go out, go the gym, do something. Weekends by urself are not easy.

So tonight i went to a party n met a really hot girl. My ex was 8 yrs younger than me. This one is 10 yrs younger than me. Its really hard to beat my ex at much as she was a model and an heiress to a ton of money. But knowing that this girl is two years younger and she would be pissed has helped get my confidence back on top.

 

Probably sound like a douche here but i did say this is going to be laid bare. Gonna text new chick tomorrow and if that works out dont expect to hear from me until THAT relationship ****s up.

Either way. Going out is the answer. And u have to do it A LOT. What can happen is you go out, u talk to one person, compare them to ur ex n go home.

I made sure i hit on at least 10 girls tonight until i found someone i could connect with. Then u realise, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

And life is for the living

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

Gonna make this quick.

 

I was writing a no contact diary on here, can't even find it it's so far back.

I hit every emotion there was. Anger, jealousy, bitterness, i hit rock bottom some days, but its 3 weeks tomorrow since i got dumped and i can honestly say i am now over the pain and moving into indifference. Here is what i did.

 

Week 1. - Could barely eat. Spent most days pouring my heart out to my best friend. Got all the emotions out and dealt with the pain. I went through the pain not around it. I knew why it was happening and i had to just let it go through me. But i talked about it as much as possible. When people asked me i would tell them, i'm dealing with a breakup and i'm not myself at the moment. That was it. She contacted me twice during this period and i ignored it. NC. Its over.

 

Week 2. - Forced myself out every night, by myself. And its COLD at the moment, this was not easy. Went to the gym. Still in total misery tbh but made some new friends and kept my mind off things. Met some hot twins. Hung out, felt attractive again.

 

Week 3 - Went to a party. Met an amazing girl, organised a date for tomorrow night. Last night i went out with my best friend. I actually had a crush on her for ages and as soon as i had a gf she started being interested.

Last night i got wasted with her and we had the most amazing sex. I have no idea what iv got myself into there but she's awesome and it was a great night. And now i have other women to worry about! I actually made out with my friend in front of some people my ex knows last night and i couldn't care less. Her loss.

 

And that takes me to today. I do miss my ex a bit but i can also see all of her flaws now and im more pissed at her than when i was putting her on a pedestal last week. She broke it off with me because she accused me of lying about something, which i didnt, and she wouldnt believe me. She asked all my friends behind my back and then blamed the whole argument on me. I blamed myself for the first two weeks. Not anymore. Its no ones fault. It just doesnt work sometimes

 

So **** her. Her loss. I couldn't see her and not feel anything but by being around other women i know now that the relationship was wrong and i'm glad i'm out.

 

 

I am LOVING life and i guarantee my ex will come sniffing around soon enough. Not that i would be interested. I have two more exes at home waiting to see me. One from 8 years ago that i spent 12 months trying to get over!! They always come around if you get on with and live your life. I would never get back with them but am happy to hang out with them as friends now without having any feelings towards them.

 

Not trying to sound like a player here, its just helping me get my mind off things. I work hard, keep in shape and i love my job. I think and hope that i'm a good catch. Im comfortable with myself is the point. My life is in order. Iv had the chance to take stock and work out who i am, and i like it.

And i'll let my exes work that out for myself.

 

Still in NC and signing off a happy man. Pick yourself up, there is a beautiful world out there with amazing people waiting to meet you. Don't let one person ruin that for you. ONE person out of 6 billion.

My date for tomorrow night is an amazing girl and i'm still only on week 1 of the dating game.

 

Jackinthebox OUT!

  • Like 4
Posted

Let's see how you feel tomorrow...

 

You've done nothing but deflect getting over her since week 2.

 

I did that with the girl I DUMPED... didn't work out so well for me.

 

Maybe I'm wrong and you're completely over it, but simply distracting yourself through partying, sex, etc. just represses things. It doesn't confront them head-on.

  • Like 4
  • Author
Posted

How have i deflected? I've spent every day on here NC trying to ring every emotion out of myself. Last night was the first night i have drunk since the break up and the first time i've even kissed another girl.

I wasnt out partying. I forced myself to go out most nights alone but not geting wasted.

That's 3 weeks of going through this sober and confronting the emotions head on.

And i just don't care about my ex any more. There is still attachment there but i have been through all those feelings so many times and my head is full of new options now so i just dont have any incling to think about her.

 

And it was 24 hours ago nearly so i reckon i'm all good!

  • Like 1
Posted

See, this topic pops up a few times a month.

 

The results are the same. Hell, I made the same mistake a few years ago.

 

Now I realize how it works.

 

 

 

 

You will quickly find you are at the high point of the rollercoaster, but be very prepared for the drop and the loop that are about to come up.

 

Eventually though the very long rollercoaster will end, but trust me, it doesn't end in 20 days. It usually doesn't end in 200. But it will end eventually.

  • Like 6
  • Author
Posted

Sorry but i don't agree.

I'd rather take up a prison sentence than get back with my ex. I can comfortably talk about her in the past tense now. I saw a pic of her earlier on a friends FB and was pretty indifferent.

It's not about women. I've had some amazing stuff happen with work, my life is full of joy and i just dont have the capacity for that hurt that exhisted.

I went through it, i kept NC and i've healed to the point that i accept that it's over and i'm happy being single again.

I've had break ups before. Last time i left the country n as soon as i was somewhere else i barely thought about her. I came home 6 months later and she calls me to get back together. And i had zero intrest in her.

 

This is not a speedbump, its finished

  • Like 1
Posted

Not to be negative but it's a speed bump. Please remember this attitude when you are at your low again. Good for you towards making the steps to move on but its a long recovery.

Posted

Keep pressing ahead, but don't get into a rebound relationship. Don't have sex with the intentions of "forgetting" your ex. Don't have sex to get your ex jealous either - same goes with making out with women in front of her friends (who you and I both know will go and tell her).

 

Remember this when you hit the low times again. They will come. Just be prepared. It happened to me, it happened to all of us. It will happen to you.

 

As SoThatHappened mentioned, I agree, I feel like you're deflecting your feelings. I tried the same, it worked for a while, then I hit the low times again. You'll soon realize you aren't "over" it like you think.

 

Not saying this to be a di*k, but just to prepare yourself.

  • Like 1
Posted

I'm at 19 days and not even close to being 'over' it. I don't know if I will be after 30, or even 60.

 

It would be fantastic if you are truly past the hard times, I know it works different for every person, but please be careful and don't party too hard or go too nuts!

Posted

OP, I can tell you this from my experience:

 

It's been over 5 months for me after a short 7-month relationship.

 

I've hit the highs and hit the lows, many times since the breakup. Even at this stage where I'm GLAD I'm not with her, I still had a tough morning just thinking about her for whatever reason. Tomorrow will be different. Just the way it has worked for me.

 

The past couple months the good days have been 90% of the time. Then a sh$%ty day has snuck in here and there. Part of the process.

 

If you're over it in 3 weeks that's great. Really.

Posted

3 weeks is not nearly enough time to truly get over a relationship. I don't doubt how you're feeling right now OP, but I suspect you might be fooling yourself.

  • Author
Posted

Like I keep saying, it's not that feelings aren't there still but they aren't the same as they were and I don't have an interest in having her in my life.

Time will tell but my main point is I don't look back with emotional rose tinted glasses on now. I know what was wrong with the situation n glad to be out

Posted

Two months for me after two years... I am on the roller coaster every day. I like the thought of trying to hang out with another girl, but the confidence and drive just isn't there.

Posted
Like I keep saying, it's not that feelings aren't there still but they aren't the same as they were and I don't have an interest in having her in my life.

Time will tell but my main point is I don't look back with emotional rose tinted glasses on now. I know what was wrong with the situation n glad to be out

~

 

I know lots on here have been hurt real bad and some cannot imagine ever getting over their ex even after years,

but it all depends in how far invested in your ex you were, as to how long it takes to get over them.

 

Sometimes relationships just become habits, breaking the habit may not be as difficult as you may think.

Sometimes the bad bits are so bad that it is a relief to leave and start something new.

Sometimes there is a deal breaker incident an incident so terrible that makes reconciliation impossible and the fact that the decision is cut and dried can also help too.

 

Every person and every situation is different.

  • Author
Posted
Two months for me after two years... I am on the roller coaster every day. I like the thought of trying to hang out with another girl, but the confidence and drive just isn't there.

 

Problem is most people put their ex on some inflated pedestal that is impossible for anyone to ever reach.

Your ex wasn't perfect. And if they were perfect for you then you would still be together. Granted that girl might not be the one but go meet some more. There are plenty of great people out there.

Think about how EVERY person on here thinks that their person is the most beautiful, greatest personality blah blah blah.

That isn't possible is it?

  • Like 2
Posted

Good god youre over her in 20 days (or this is not true or you felt nothing for her) and Im 7 months and still struggling. Something is not right here :(

  • Author
Posted

Im not saying im over her like i could see her again and it wouldnt bother me.

But with NC and having a few weeks out just to address my feelings. Staying away from boozing or really any contact with women for the first few weeks.

When i got back in the dating game i had got through a lot of those issues.

 

Im genuinely happier single now and without that emotional baggage dragging me down i can see her faults and make a proper decision on what i want.

And it isnt to be back with someone who kicked me to the kurb for no reason.

 

Plenty more great people out there and i'm enjying just life being by myself

Posted (edited)

I'm not going to say you're in denial or not because those are YOUR feelings. I don't know what's running through your head. It does sound like you're going in the right direction.

 

BUT! Your Headline does read "over it" Sorry -You don't keep a "current" NC journal of a person you are "over". The fact you know the exact number of days from your last contact say's you're not "over it". When you're over someone you don't care about things like that.

 

Can you honesty say your ex isn't the person you think about most of time?

 

Don't take what I'm saying as judging you. I think you're doing great work on yourself. Keep it up! I just don't buy the "over it" comment.

Edited by Leroy82
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