NJ123 Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 All I'm saying is that it's possible to be friends in a group setting, involve the wives, girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends, fiancées, have EVERYONE be friends with each other, behave maturely, have boundaries, and everyone gets to be happy. Mature, fair, reasonable, healthy and happy people can do this without issues. I think it's possible just as long as they don't hang out with someone of the opposite sex alone without their SO around. Especially if their with some guy/girl they don't know that well. Seems there's a lot of suspicions in those types of cases unless their gay/lesbian. But if your all together than yeah, I'd think that would be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 (edited) Yes, but its rare for there to be no sexual attraction on at least one side. In situations where there is no sexual attraction on either side, men and women rarely become friends. Why? Allow me to explain... First off..men don't approach women for friendship in the first place. If he approaches a woman, its because he is attracted. This is how many male/female friends start in the first place. In situations where the woman approaches, the man will rarely make any effort to maintain the relationship unless there is some attraction. If there is no attraction, the woman is required to make a lot more effort and most women have too much pride to bother. If the woman does chase the man, its usually because there is some sexual attraction there... otherwise it wouldn't be worth the hassle. Are the exceptions? Sure. Just like three legged dogs exist. this is a rather bizarre example because it assumes that a friendship is only formed if one person approaches the other. friendships can form organically - without a direct approach by either person - in school, workplace environments, as a result of group-work or teams, and etc. it not always a situation where a female/male was approached. in that instance, you'd be right - it wouldn't be friendly, because someone approached the other for some 'attraction' reason. Edited November 1, 2014 by newmoon 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Zen Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Well said, Phoe. I've got a workout buddy who is 10 years my senior and married. He's not interested in me and I'm not interested in him. I've also got quite a few other guy friends, I hang out with them one-on-one, we're just friends, and remained so even when I was single and so were they. Men aren't these insanely sexual animals who can't control their urges and therefore want to bang anything that moves. They are capable of having friends, female and male. Anybody I know personally who is incapable of being friends with the opposite sex has serious issues. Right.. but just because a man is attracted to a woman that doesn't mean he has to act on it (or even wants to act on it). The point is.. if he is friends with you, he is sexually attracted on some level. Unless he is gay. I've had female friends I had no interest in dating, but I still found them attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 this is a rather bizarre example because it assumes that a friendship is only formed if one person approaches the other. friendships can form organically - without a direct approach by either person - in school, workplace environments, as a result of group-work or teams, and etc. it not always a situation where a female/male was approached. in that instance, you'd be right - it wouldn't be friendly, because someone approached the other for some 'attraction' reason. Exactly. My friendships formed through school, work, or mutual friends. I have never had a friendship form because some random person approached me on the street. Nor have I been asked on a date that way. I don't get approached randomly. Friendships or relationships of any kind, have always formed through knowing the person due to working with them in a productive setting, getting to know them over time. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Thats great for you guys..... But do you really know how they feel about it? I mean I am quite sure you never actually asked them how they feel about their husband going out with a single woman "one on one".... All I am saying is that there arent too many women I know that would be kosher with it...It has nothing to do with whether or not they can maintain a friendship with the opposite sex...Most guys just dont want to make their wife/SO feel insecure about it...so they just avoid it...even if she puts on a happy face and says she is cool with it... TFY Well, that's why you make an effort to get to know the SO. I've always insisted on meeting the SO. So yeah, I met his wife, had some great conversations with her, she's a lovely woman. She's seen the dynamic between me and her husband, and its blatantly obvious there's nothing there. I don't act any different around him than I act around female friends. There are women who don't feel challenged or insecure about their boyfriends or husbands having opposite sex friends. Like me. My boyfriend has gone to lunches or coffees one on one with female friends. I trust him and I know him well enough to know nothing will happen. OTOH, I know women who think its a huge crime for their boyfriend to have female friends. But I also know for a fact that every single one of these women has either been severely abused in the past, cheated on, lied to, etc. Basically, they have issues. Link to post Share on other sites
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