Author prettyeyes87 Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 I know I was dumb but I really believed the things he told me based on how he was with me the first time we were friends. He acted the exact same and all I had was the past to go on so I did think he was still the same nice but slightly weird guy. I cut him off because basically he moved way too fast for my liking. He was already asking me my opinon on if I wanted more kids and if I thought his 3 bedroom house would be enough room for me and my daughter to move in within the first few weeks to a month of us talking and actually wanted to meet my kid within the first few weeks and then when I made it clear I wasn’t ready for that or to go on dates he asks me to be his girlfriend! I also wasn’t over my child’s father so that played a role. I have only been in one relationship but I have seen what players look like and he just didn’t strike me as one. He is far too lame and my sister couldn’t believe I even liked him Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 (edited) I know I was dumb but I really believed the things he told me based on how he was with me the first time we were friends. He acted the exact same and all I had was the past to go on so I did think he was still the same nice but slightly weird guy. I cut him off because basically he moved way too fast for my liking. He was already asking me my opinon on if I wanted more kids and if I thought his 3 bedroom house would be enough room for me and my daughter to move in within the first few weeks to a month of us talking and actually wanted to meet my kid within the first few weeks and then when I made it clear I wasn’t ready for that or to go on dates he asks me to be his girlfriend! I also wasn’t over my child’s father so that played a role. I have only been in one relationship but I have seen what players look like and he just didn’t strike me as one. He is far too lame and my sister couldn’t believe I even liked him This guy is a creep. As a mother, doesn't the ick factor rise? He sounds like a molester. If you even remotely think this is healthy or he is relationship material, you need serious professional help. Why haven't you blocked him already? Do you secretly enjoy his twisted attention? Edited to add: your sister sounds pretty smart, listen to her. Please. Edited October 31, 2014 by Lurkeraspect Link to post Share on other sites
Author prettyeyes87 Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 This guy is a creep. As a mother, doesn't the ick factor rise? He sounds like a molester. If you even remotely think this is healthy or he is relationship material, you need serious professional help. Why haven't you blocked him already? Do you secretly enjoy his twisted attention? Edited to add: your sister sounds pretty smart, listen to her. Please. Yes as a mother it does bother me. That is why he has NEVER met my child or been to my house EVER. I do not think he is relationship material thats why I am staying away but i got attached to him and that's what I am trying to let go. He does a good job of making me feel bad or sorry for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Not sure what anyone else could say to you. He's married, a stalker, socially awkward, yet you're attracted to that. Not sure what other advice can be given, as you just want to keep talking about it. All the what ifs, and buts don't change anything. Why are you attracted to him? Seriously, what is it? I think you're a bit flattered by all his [creepy] attention, because as you said, you're still talking to him, you won't block him, so you're getting something from this twisted situation. Perhaps start there. Maybe the problem is YOU. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Any friendship with a married man is vicarious at best. The truth of the matter is that there is no reason to be involved in such a relationship. Especially if it is causing strain with his wife. Would you want your husband to have a friendship with a woman that mirrors your relationship with this guy? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lemonitaz Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 This dude is no good. I personally would not want a person like this in my life as just a friend OR as a significant other. Friends do not lie, manipulate, control, or disregard your requests/feelings. Someone who cares about you romantically also does not lie, manipulate or attempt to control you. Everything you describe is very disturbing. I wonder what your last relationship was like because it seems odd to me that any normal person would even question what his intentions are/were. To me, I don't see how it even matters what his intentions are because either way he is a disturbed individual that does not respect you, and his actions reflect that. I encourage you to seek some sort of counseling for yourself so you can learn more about healthy relationships and boundaries. As a random outsiders perspective, this is not healthy and you should have stopped tolerating it years ago for good and not have started speaking to him again recently. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author prettyeyes87 Posted November 1, 2014 Author Share Posted November 1, 2014 I have blocked him on everything and I have no intention to unblock him. I just caught up I guess and was too close to the situation to really see it. I needed to step back and I did. That's why I came here. Thanks everyone Link to post Share on other sites
Author prettyeyes87 Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 I have been 10 days NC...even though I know this is best for me...when will it get easier? I don't want to think about him anymore or wonder why he isn't contacting me. I wish all my feelings would go away Link to post Share on other sites
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