Being a mistress hurts too.

[Negative Nancy]

Why are you all ganging up on her and rake her over the coals as if the affair is her fault? I have a lot of respect for her honesty and courage. Let's not forget here that she didn't "make the man do anything" or seduced him - it was HIS and SOLELY HIS responsibility to remain faithful. It's actually good to hear that so many married men cheat on business trips, I am glad for this insider info. The husband is the scumbag here, and if anything we should respect the honesty of the mistress because that scumbag of a cheater is actually playing TWO women. She should have the courage and expose him to this wife - that would be the most honorable thing to do, and it would set both of them free - of him. But let's get away from the -typically female - notion that she is the evil seductress who ensnared the "poor, innocent" man completely against his will.

[Arieswoman]

NN,

 

Why are you all ganging up on her and rake her over the coals as if the affair is her fault?

 

Errr, maybe because she is 50% responsible for it ?

 

I have a lot of respect for her honesty and courage.

 

Honesty, my fat aunt. She's been lying to herself and deluding herself ever since she got into this mess.

 

She says;

 

He may sound bad but he does really care about me I guess,

 

he cares so much that he uses her as a side dish while living with his wife?

 

And if posters are giving the OP a hard time then all to the good - maybe, just maybe, she'll wake up and smell what she's shovelling. However, i won't hold my breath.

[ComingInHot]

Why are you all ganging up on her and rake her over the coals as if the affair is her fault? I have a lot of respect for her honesty and courage. Let's not forget here that she didn't "make the man do anything" or seduced him - it was HIS and SOLELY HIS responsibility to remain faithful. It's actually good to hear that so many married men cheat on business trips, I am glad for this insider info. The husband is the scumbag here, and if anything we should respect the honesty of the mistress because that scumbag of a cheater is actually playing TWO women. She should have the courage and expose him to this wife - that would be the most honorable thing to do, and it would set both of them free - of him. But let's get away from the -typically female - notion that she is the evil seductress who ensnared the "poor, innocent" man completely against his will.

 

What are you talking about?!

 

Easy Nancy, this young girl needs guidance & support both kind and tough so she gets a dose of reality that this MM is keeping from her to live her own life out loud not under wraps.

 

OP, tell your mom and dad what you're doing, they'll love you anyway and will help you*

[dclan]

Why are you all ganging up on her and rake her over the coals as if the affair is her fault? I have a lot of respect for her honesty and courage. Let's not forget here that she didn't "make the man do anything" or seduced him - it was HIS and SOLELY HIS responsibility to remain faithful. It's actually good to hear that so many married men cheat on business trips, I am glad for this insider info. The husband is the scumbag here, and if anything we should respect the honesty of the mistress because that scumbag of a cheater is actually playing TWO women. She should have the courage and expose him to this wife - that would be the most honorable thing to do, and it would set both of them free - of him. But let's get away from the -typically female - notion that she is the evil seductress who ensnared the "poor, innocent" man completely against his will.

 

What a silly argument.

 

If I'm walking down the street, and I see a guy having a heart attack, and I'm the only person around I could:

 

a) call an ambulance.

 

b) laugh at him and keep walking.

 

Obviously I can do what ever I want, not involve myself in the situation, and just worry about myself and my problems, while laughing at the poor guy who might die, because its not my fault he is having a heart attack

 

Its still a dick move to do something like that, when with a simple phone call I could have saved his life. I don't even have to go near him or touch him, I just have to dial my phone and the ambulance can take care of him. A simple thing as touching 3 buttoms can potentially save his life.

 

I agree she is not an evil witch that seduced the guy away from his family, because its clear the man is a piece of s***.

 

But don't be so naive. She knows she is messing with other people's lives. However by the things she's been posting, I believe she is obsessed with this man, and not in her right mind.

 

I don't think she even realises that what she is doing is wrong. She needs help, and fast.

Edited October 26, 2014 by dclan

[peaksandvalleys]

Why are you all ganging up on her and rake her over the coals as if the affair is her fault? I have a lot of respect for her honesty and courage. Let's not forget here that she didn't "make the man do anything" or seduced him - it was HIS and SOLELY HIS responsibility to remain faithful. It's actually good to hear that so many married men cheat on business trips, I am glad for this insider info. The husband is the scumbag here, and if anything we should respect the honesty of the mistress because that scumbag of a cheater is actually playing TWO women. She should have the courage and expose him to this wife - that would be the most honorable thing to do, and it would set both of them free - of him. But let's get away from the -typically female - notion that she is the evil seductress who ensnared the "poor, innocent" man completely against his will.

 

I voiced my opinion independent of what others felt. My feelings are based on my life experiences with someone just like her. I do not respect her actions but I do not know her as a person so I can only go by what she has posted here. She IS responsible for her actions within the affair. She IS responsible for her continued affect on that family whether they know it or not. She is responsible for allowing herself to be used to hammer someone else's life with. I am not part of a gang nor have I ever been a part of a gang.

[TigerLilly78]

. For now I can't let him go and will still be his mistress.

That right there means she is as much at fault at this point as he is once she found out he was married and she decided to continue things anyways she became as much at fault in destroying his family's lives as he did im sure he didn't trip slip and have his *ick magically fall into her innocent vagina.. That said as some one else pointed out somethings not right here and im wondering if this isn't just a troll thread anyways..

[irresolute]

I feel sorry for you, wasting your best years of life. I feel sorry for the kids you might have sometime, because you are simply cheap. You have no value in my eyes.

Dont you see he is using you? You are his prostitute for free. He gets everything you get none. You will never be the one. Wake up.

[whatatangledweb]

Why are you all ganging up on her and rake her over the coals as if the affair is her fault? I have a lot of respect for her honesty and courage. Let's not forget here that she didn't "make the man do anything" or seduced him - it was HIS and SOLELY HIS responsibility to remain faithful. It's actually good to hear that so many married men cheat on business trips, I am glad for this insider info. The husband is the scumbag here, and if anything we should respect the honesty of the mistress because that scumbag of a cheater is actually playing TWO women. She should have the courage and expose him to this wife - that would be the most honorable thing to do, and it would set both of them free - of him. But let's get away from the -typically female - notion that she is the evil seductress who ensnared the "poor, innocent" man completely against his will.

 

People are doing what she asked in her second post....

 

I don't really know too. I think I am curious about how people will react and what they think about. I do not think people will have respect for me haha. But maybe I do need some harsh words or critic, maybe someone could knock some sense in me.

 

OP, that is not an engagement. I understand you are attached to him. You are young and it has been going on three years. He tells you something like he would marry you but those are just words. I see this ending badly for you sooner or later.

[dclan]

Also the reason we are being hard on her, is because she made a post to show us "her suffering".

 

And her suffering is the hate/envy she has for a woman that did nothing wrong to her, a woman who is being hurt and deceived.

 

The letter she wrote is in essence a mockery to this woman (with the things like "I am beautiful", as if the wife wanted to hear that).

 

And she says she doesn't care about it, because she is in love with this man.

 

So yeah we are being hard.

 

She is being arrogant, about hurting someone. That's not a good thing to do.

[Priv]

Why are you all ganging up on her and rake her over the coals as if the affair is her fault? I have a lot of respect for her honesty and courage. Let's not forget here that she didn't "make the man do anything" or seduced him - it was HIS and SOLELY HIS responsibility to remain faithful. It's actually good to hear that so many married men cheat on business trips, I am glad for this insider info. The husband is the scumbag here, and if anything we should respect the honesty of the mistress because that scumbag of a cheater is actually playing TWO women. She should have the courage and expose him to this wife - that would be the most honorable thing to do, and it would set both of them free - of him. But let's get away from the -typically female - notion that she is the evil seductress who ensnared the "poor, innocent" man completely against his will.

 

How come she is being played? If anything, he is more real with her than his wife. And by the sounds of it she is in it eyes wide open and she very willingly went into this relationship.

 

 

OP, you got to get out. With so many people knowing this is going blow up in your face sooner rather than later. Even his kids know?!? That, and his wife deserves better than what the two of you are doing to her.

[jessicachoi]

I am not angry or mad at the legal wife. Only jealous, very jealous. She is a lucky woman. But I do feel bad for her, and for her children. I have seen her like three times and I even made her a dress.. The letter I wrote was something I would write in my dairy, not really send. I wrote it in a jealous mood and actually felt helpless because I realized clearly where I got into. It is nothing personal for her, it is not her fault nor she deserves it. She just happens to be the wife of the man I fall in love with. Fall in love with just like she did.

 

And I didn't mean to mock the wife. My looks are the only thing I am confident about.

 

And yes, maybe I do need therapy. And I can't go to my parents, they will hate me forever.

[NJ123]

It almost sounds like this is a troll thread. I just can't see how someone can be so cold & heartless towards the wife who will be affected the most along with her kids when she eventually finds out. And she'll find out sooner or later. But I actually really do hope this is just a troll thread where your just seeking attention.

[jessicachoi]

It almost sounds like this is a troll thread. I just can't see how someone can be so cold & heartless towards the wife who will be affected the most along with her kids when she eventually finds out. And she'll find out sooner or later. But I actually really do hope this is just a troll thread where your just seeking attention.

 

I DO feel very bad for her. How many times do I have to say it? It is terrible for her.

 

I guess something snapped in me in the period where I got pregnant from him , ending up in a miscarriage. And two months later she got pregnant and got a blessed healthy child. It hurts for me seeing her having all the things I want to have.

[Maleficent]

I am 21, he is 35.

 

He didn't exactly asked to marry, he said he liked "us" as in we two together and such, he said he would marry me if that was legal. i am in love with him as much as she js.

 

We don't only have sex we do other things too. Things he doesnt do with his legal wife. We spend a lot of time together. And he begun helping me with connections after we were a few years together.

 

I could get like almost any men I want but I want him since I got attached to him. Even if someone is bettee, i feel like i still want him. And when he doesnt give me the attention I want, I become sad or angry and say/do things to get his attention. I also do it with other men but especially with him

 

You know what? I take back what I said. Stay with him.

 

I think you are not in an emotional state right now to be in a relationship that could potentially work and you'll probably just end up breaking some poor guy's heart anyway.

 

And I am actually serious.

[OwMyEyeball]

She was also only posting in August about being pregnant and that her fiancé was cheating on her during his business trips. Something is not stacking up here.

Not at all

 

Two contradictory stories

 

In this one:

 

- Met 35yo MM when she was 18

- Became pregnant from him, miscarried

 

In past one:

 

- Engaged to 27yo man who she's been with since she was 15

- Bought a house together

- Became pregnant from him, would now be 5mo pregnant

- Family and friends know him

- He cheated on her while on business trips

 

Not that blindly believing what strangers on the Internet say is ever advisable, but whatever is coming out of this person is fabricated, at least to some extent. If I don't even know what to believe, none is to be believed.

[peaksandvalleys]

I DO feel very bad for her. How many times do I have to say it? It is terrible for her.

 

I guess something snapped in me in the period where I got pregnant from him , ending up in a miscarriage. And two months later she got pregnant and got a blessed healthy child. It hurts for me seeing her having all the things I want to have.

 

So it hurts you to see her live her life?

[NJ123]

Not at all

 

Two contradictory stories

 

In this one:

 

- Met 35yo MM when she was 18

- Became pregnant from him, miscarried

 

In past one:

 

- Engaged to 27yo man who she's been with since she was 15

- Bought a house together

- Became pregnant from him, would now be 5mo pregnant

- Family and friends know him

- He cheated on her while on business trips

 

Not that blindly believing what strangers on the Internet say is ever advisable, but whatever is coming out of this person is fabricated, at least to some extent. If I don't even know what to believe, none is to be believed.

 

Exactly. Like I said I think this is just someone seeking attention.

[dclan]

It hurts for me seeing her having all the things I want to have.

 

You could have all the things you want, with a man that treats you the proper way.

 

Don't you think you deserve better.

[Redheaded Mistress]

I am not angry or mad at the legal wife. Only jealous, very jealous. She is a lucky woman. But I do feel bad for her, and for her children. I have seen her like three times and I even made her a dress.. The letter I wrote was something I would write in my dairy, not really send. I wrote it in a jealous mood and actually felt helpless because I realized clearly where I got into. It is nothing personal for her, it is not her fault nor she deserves it. She just happens to be the wife of the man I fall in love with. Fall in love with just like she did.

 

And I didn't mean to mock the wife. My looks are the only thing I am confident about.

 

And yes, maybe I do need therapy. And I can't go to my parents, they will hate me forever.

 

You know, I'll agree... Being a mistress is painful. Is there a degree of it that's situationally or self-inflicted? Sure. But that doesn't take away from the pain of it.

 

If you're truly hurting to a degree where you feel you're suffering, then change the parts you can change. Set boundaries, or end the relationship, or step back from the relationship... You keep doing what you're doing now, you'll only keep feeling the same. Otherwise, accept the hurt for what it is and how at least part of it is self-inflicted... If you hit your hand over and over with a hammer and you won't stop, you can't blame the hammer for hurting you.

[jessicachoi]

Other thread was about the same man. That was my current situation, but changed so people wouldnt react or focus on the other crazy aspects of this affair without getting answer on what I wantes. Who would care about a pregnant mistress who sees her MM having sex with his legal wife as CHEATING. People think I am crazy. But I am not. I thought i would become important for him when I got pregnant, but he didnt treat me like he treated his legal wife.

 

I fel bad for her having a husband who cheats.

[Maleficent]

It almost sounds like this is a troll thread. I just can't see how someone can be so cold & heartless towards the wife who will be affected the most along with her kids when she eventually finds out. And she'll find out sooner or later. But I actually really do hope this is just a troll thread where your just seeking attention.

 

I don't think this is a troll thread at all. She isn't cold and heartless. She is madly in love with that man and refuses to give up on the hope that they will be together 'officially' one day.

 

Deep down she probably knows what she is doing is wrong and what she is doing here is justify her action - not to us, but to herself. I'm actually surprised she hasn't painted the wife as pushing her poor sweet husband away.

[jessicachoi]

You could have all the things you want, with a man that treats you the proper way.

 

Don't you think you deserve better.

 

 

I know I could. But i am so attached to him. I want it with him.

[dclan]

I know I could. But i am so attached to him. I want it with him.

 

But why...?

 

Because he is clearly not a good person. And he hurts you.

 

Most of the times, the 2 biggest factors in attraction for women are:

 

- good looks

- he is sweet

 

there are lots of good looking guys that would want to show sweetness to a self proclaimed beautiful girl.

 

So why waste your time with this scum?

[waterwoman]

OK, I am taking your post at face value and not assuming it's said to poke a stick at BWs, or some sort of creative writing exercise....

 

My answer to you is of course it bloody hurts! A man you love is treating you like a pet, a toy, a hobby. Why wouldn't it hurt? And FWIW I feel empathy for you in your situation. But you see the difference is that you chose this with your eyes wide open - you saw the ants nest and deliberately stuck your hand it it. His wife did not. And when she finds out she will hurt a great deal more. She won't feel like a princess, she will feel like a fool, an inadequate gullible fool.

 

I pity both of you.

[Striver]

Dear OW:

 

He's all yours. I get to keep our house, cars, our family, and 40% of his paycheck.

 

Enjoy.

 

XXX His Ex-Wife

 

With no fault divorce, crappy women who leave their husbands for other men can also play this angle. Believe me, I know.