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tell me if I was wrong


big pretty

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picture this its valentines day and no phone call or visit from your so called boyfriend. you get angry page him crying cursing him out. next day page him he calls you back asks you whats your problem and you explain he demands to see you you go he explains his situation which was he was at a meeting all night with the city and the alderman( he works for the emisson testing facility) you excuse him . while your having sexual intercourse he just stops and asks You sure you aint preganet{like he askec you before but he did not}he asks you are you on birth control you say no and he acusses you of tring to get pregnet. which i was not. he goes to sleep i get up put my clothes on and leave without telling him.was i wrong? i called him later and apoligizes for leving like that with some lame excuse just because i was feeling guilty. Was i wrong again?

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i don't think it was fair to accuse you of trying to get pregnant. when two people have sex, then two people should be responsible for contraception, not only for the sake of an unwanted pregnancy, but to guard against std's. both of you should be taking responsibility here, either with condoms or birth control pills or both.

 

i can understand you getting upset at such an accusation. it's insulting to be accused of something you haven't done or haven't tried to do, but don't get too upset about it. try and rectify it.

 

whether or not you were wrong in getting out of bed whether or not you were wrong for giving him a lame excsue isn't really the issue here. communication is the issue. it's easy to act on the spur of the moment, especially when you are upset and then regret it later. but i think what you and your boyfriend really need to be doing here is communicating better with each other and developing trust between you to avoid situations like this.

 

sit down with him and calmly explain how you were feeling and try and rectify the situation by discussing the use of birth control. and i don't mean the rhythm method either. that's very unreliable. i mean condoms (definitely) and the pill (if you feel comfortable taking it). don't lay blame and guilt trips for what happened- that will get you nowhere and will make the situation worse.

 

...and agree to keep the lines of communication open at all times if you want to try for a successful relationship.

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