looking for a safe place

[AlwaysGrowing]

i'm sorry but anyone who would condone her behaviour isn't someone I would want sympathy from anyways. Anger I understand. A few confrontations I deserved but completely misdirected rage at me and mine. No sorry, she crossed the line. And are you just slow or do you understand we weren't friends. Hence "friends".

 

But whatever even if we had been besties or I didn't know her it doesn't change how wrong my behaviour was. I betrayed my husband and that in itself speaks volumes of my character. Sleeping with someone else's husband whether you or married or not is wrong. Throwing "at least I wasn't friends with the wife" in there will not lesson the complete agony the wife will feel when she finds out her spouse has a mistress.

 

I agree...that people can rationalize any behaviour to lessen the impact of how they are behaving.

 

Also, do you view the betrayal as only done against your husband?

[Blackknight]

I agree...that people can rationalize any behaviour to lessen the impact of how they are behaving.

 

Also, do you view the betrayal as only done against your husband?

 

No, i betrayed her as a fellow human being. Whether i knew her or not i stole time with her husband. I am sorry if my language offends some. She has no problem letting everyone know I am a c u next tuesday. I call it like it is specially when I feel attacked for even mentioning her in a negative light. Perhaps I should have lied and said she is the sweetest little thing and Mm must be lying about how bad it is. But forgive me for saying it like it is. I have said numerous times her nastiness (better word than B?) had no bearing on our descision to cheat. My husband is a wonderful man who only has a few hang ups about sex. And thn I went cheated on him for sex and then threw it in his face by confessing. And for what purpose? To still be the messed up btch I am.

[ComingInHot]

...drunkenly. ... you STILL haven't answered what you're going to do with and about yourself. ...sore spot maybe?

[Blackknight]

...drunkenly. ... you STILL haven't answered what you're going to do with and about yourself. ...sore spot maybe?

 

You read to much into things. I already said what I was going to do. Not talk to him ever again and keep on going. There is no sore spot so stop looking for things that aren't there. People defending his wife=sore spot. Me interacting with the man I had an affair with after a year and a halfof hell=i deserve whatever is slapped on me. Doesn't mean I won't disagree with some people's assumptions.

[lovinDKT3]

No, i betrayed her as a fellow human being. Whether i knew her or not i stole time with her husband. I am sorry if my language offends some. She has no problem letting everyone know I am a c u next tuesday. I call it like it is specially when I feel attacked for even mentioning her in a negative light. Perhaps I should have lied and said she is the sweetest little thing and Mm must be lying about how bad it is. But forgive me for saying it like it is. I have said numerous times her nastiness (better word than B?) had no bearing on our descision to cheat. My husband is a wonderful man who only has a few hang ups about sex. And thn I went cheated on him for sex and then threw it in his face by confessing. And for what purpose? To still be the messed up btch I am.

 

No, to give him a choice as to if its something he can live with. Your doing it again has nothing to do with confessing. The confessing also doesn't mean you've worked on the issue within that made you feel this is ok.

 

As far as the BW, you played a major role in hurting her and putting her family at risk. So in turn she looked to hurt you. Your knowledge of her being a piece of work should have given you an idea that she would come after you.

 

Without sleeping with her husband she would have no reason to do the things she did. You have to own that.

 

Then after it all that you walk right back in, eyes open.

 

One last thing, if you let your walls down here, you will learn a lot. Some you have to ignore, most are very helpful but only if your open to it. Before, I describe what I saw and instead of thinking about it you went on the attack. Maybe you felt I was wrong, but its what many here are saying. You really do come off as cold and uncaring, and try very hard to justify your actions. Then you hide behind "well I'm just a horrible person". After being he for some time and reading story after story the find BS meters of the posters here are fine tuned.

 

You care because your here and haven't run away. You know there are things to learn, open yourself. Many of us have walked in you shoes, let's us give you light out of the dark cave.

[jellybean89]

I am really unsure at why youfelt the need to post this. To defend his b*tch of a wife. She harassed, spread lies and stalked me this whole time. She told everyone I made up thr whole A to try to get her H to leave her. Whether he fed her that line or not, she is crazy to believe it. She is a dulusional control freak and he is a liar and jerk. My point in sharing that was to say he went from calling her his beauty queen to talking about leaving her. I was in their home and her "friend". I know she is unstable. And whether she is unstable because he cheats or is an all around jerk that is still her choice to stay and turn a blind eye to his behaviour while laying the blame at the feet of other women.

 

Her behaviour has nothing to do with why he cheats and h never has claimed that. He cheats because he likes being bad and sneaky. I doubt her being a saint would change that. But she isn't a saint and I'm not going to lie and pretend she is. Just because she is cheated on.

 

As to my husband, i don't know how I would feel if he was cheating. It would explain a lot. Relieve some of my guilt. Now if I found out he was cheating back before I confessed I would probably be gone in a hearbeat. It would be terrible to find out that I was put through the wringer and worked my butt off only to find out the whole time he had cheated on me as well. That's just a gross though and I'm glad it isn't true.

 

If my husband was cheating now it would be my fault for starting all this.

 

You have gotten very defensive over words from 1 person who was sarcastically claiming ALL BS's are saintly, when there hasn't been one single word to that effect by others. That poster has no respect for BS's and needs to blame BS's to relieve her own guilt. No other poster said the BS in your situation was saintly. There is never an excuse to cheat cause someone thinks a spouse is a b*tch or a d*ck. there is another way to handle that...divorce!

 

You have no idea what the man you were cheating with said to his wife. You do know lies were told and he ran over you with a bus...and then, after some "I'm sorry" language from the cheater, you went right back to dirty talk and having inappropriate communication with this man. Your actions were the cause of the BS being in your life. You chose to involve her when you chose to sleep with her spouse. And now, you are choosing to once again open the door for her to say more things, because you are, in your words, too weak and can't control yourself and want to be a cake eater. So you have no right to get mad when she blows up your world. You are inviting her in.

 

Worked your butt off? No one made you reconcile. That was your choice. But that has been thrown away cause you chose to re-engage with a man who has a wife who isn't afraid of you and who will blow your world up again! How can you do that to your H and kids AGAIN? When he contacts you to meet up for some more great sex, what will your answer be? If it's yes, I hope you are prepared to lose your marriage, your family, your dignity and self respect.

 

He can tell you all day long that his wife isn't being wifely enough for him....her world was rocked when she found out about you. He's a jerk. But none of this means he loves you or wants a life with you. Plus you said he isn't even a good, decent person so why the hell would you blow up your marriage over some dude who isn't even someone you would want a life with?

[jellybean89]

No, to give him a choice as to if its something he can live with. Your doing it again has nothing to do with confessing. The confessing also doesn't mean you've worked on the issue within that made you feel this is ok.

 

As far as the BW, you played a major role in hurting her and putting her family at risk. So in turn she looked to hurt you. Your knowledge of her being a piece of work should have given you an idea that she would come after you.

 

Without sleeping with her husband she would have no reason to do the things she did. You have to own that.

 

Then after it all that you walk right back in, eyes open.

 

One last thing, if you let your walls down here, you will learn a lot. Some you have to ignore, most are very helpful but only if your open to it. Before, I describe what I saw and instead of thinking about it you went on the attack. Maybe you felt I was wrong, but its what many here are saying. You really do come off as cold and uncaring, and try very hard to justify your actions. Then you hide behind "well I'm just a horrible person". After being he for some time and reading story after story the find BS meters of the posters here are fine tuned.

 

You care because your here and haven't run away. You know there are things to learn, open yourself. Many of us have walked in you shoes, let's us give you light out of the dark cave.

 

Great post lovin!

[AlwaysGrowing]

No, i betrayed her as a fellow human being. Whether i knew her or not i stole time with her husband. I am sorry if my language offends some. She has no problem letting everyone know I am a c u next tuesday. I call it like it is specially when I feel attacked for even mentioning her in a negative light. Perhaps I should have lied and said she is the sweetest little thing and Mm must be lying about how bad it is. But forgive me for saying it like it is. I have said numerous times her nastiness (better word than B?) had no bearing on our descision to cheat. My husband is a wonderful man who only has a few hang ups about sex. And thn I went cheated on him for sex and then threw it in his face by confessing. And for what purpose? To still be the messed up btch I am.

 

 

Do you at all hold the view that you betrayed yourself first?

 

From where I sit...if we put our integrity into the hands of how another behaves or not behaves...we open ourselves up to rationalize our own actions.

 

In life...there are going to be lots of people that let you down, are disrespectful, unkind and downright hurtful to you. Shouldn't we at least be able to have our own damn backs? Did you have yours? Do you have yours?

 

..we are going to feel differently about people over time..so if our own integrity is tied to just how they make us feel...then we are going to flounder...and flounder. Because it is dependent on them...not ourselves.

 

Too many people neglect the relationship that they have with themselves.

[AlwaysGrowing]

We posted at the same time. And yes, it is actually good the defense of his wife on here and that last convo because I was being stupid and forgetting that not only was i being deceptive again I was exposing my family to crazy as well.

 

 

It was this post that caught my eye.

 

What if the BS had NOT been crazy? Would it then be easier to jump back in?

 

Do only outside consequences effect your actions/thoughts/behaviours?

 

Have you learned to safeguard your own emotional, mental and physical well being? Do you know how to advocate for you?

 

Calling yourself names is not working on self. Calling out other people...even those that you hurt....is not working on self.

 

Finding out where your weak areas are internally and shoring up or rebuilding those areas so you are a safe person for yourself and others is working on self.

[goodyblue]

The reason is we never put anyresponsibilty on the BS as far as any BS is concerned is that the fault in theaffair lies solely with the WS and any wrongdoing by the BS is magicallyforgottten.

 

I disagree. Usually the “faults ” of the BS are magnifiedby WS. I noticed married person in an A here list the “faults’ of their BS sooner or later. And if their AP is married they also disparage that BS. And the AP’s usually badmouth their spouses to each other when together.

 

the sun and the moon rose and set onher. Apparently she is not so enchanting anymore. Thanks to my brushes with herI know she is a difficult person. But, so is he. They are a disaster together;that I have always thought. So here we are. He is telling me little bits andpieces about his life

 

And so, this is how it begins. Nothing unique here. Poor MM, his wife is terrible, so cold, mean,etc, he would leave but he has kids . .. Very common theme here.

 

B]And he doesn't want to leave today hehas a few more years until his youngest is out of the home.[/b]

 

His kids are NOT the reason he isstaying married. If he is so miserable the he needs to cheat, he would leave whether he had kids or not. If he is not getting a divorce it's because he DON'TWANT TO. For whatever reason. At least be honest and don't try to feed people that tired bull**** line about staying married for the kids. Contrary to whatyou think, it doesn't make him look like a poor suffering but honorable victim.He obviously don't care enough about his kids to treat their mother with enough respect not to cheat on her.

 

I have a question for you?

 

How would you feel if another woman started an EA/PA with your H?

 

If you can't stay away from this guy, at least do the right thing and tell your husband so he can decide if he wants to be in open marriage (one sided) or not.

 

You misunderstood my point as I did not say it well. I meant that in the eyes of BS' s on this forum the BS holds NO RESPONSIBILITY IN THE AFFAIR TAKING PLACE. That anything that was wrong in the marriage had nothing to do with the affair. I do not believe this is true in most cases. I believe that someone being unhappy in a relationship who is unable/unwilling to give up that relationship for some reason (financial, social, children etc.) can lead to a person making the choice to embark on an affair. It may be the wrong choice and may make things worse in the end, and the affair itself is the sole responsibility of the participants, but usually there were things in the marriage that led up to that choice being made.

 

I lived through an affair and came out the other side intact and know this to be true of my situation and many others.

 

But BS' s on this forum do not take this stance. Everything that was awry is suddenly forgotten and everything is suddenly focused on the affair rather than the problems in the marriage, which is a big mistake. For a lot of people, once the affair is found out their is groveling on the part of the WS, pain on the part of the WS and the BS both, but nobody really talks about the changes that needed to be made by the BS because they feel victimized and suddenly the WS and the OW are the devil. So... if they are the devil, who is the angel? In the eyes of most BS' s, it is themselves.

Edited October 19, 2014 by goodyblue

[Ruffian1]

]You misunderstood my point as I did not say it well. I meant that in the eyes of BS' s on this forum the BS holds NORESPONSIBILITY IN THE AFFAIR TAKING PLACE. That anything that was wrong in the marriage had nothing to do with the affair. I do not believe this is true inmost cases. I believe that someone being unhappy in a relationship who is unable/unwilling to give up that relationship for some reason (financial,social, children etc.) can lead to a person making the choice to embark on an affair. It may be the wrong choice and may make things worse in the end, and the affair itself is the sole responsibility of the participants, but usually there were things in the marriage that led up to that choice being made.

 

But BS' s on this forum do not take this stance. Everything that was awry is suddenly forgotten and everything is suddenly focused on the affair rather than the problems in the marriage, which is a big mistake. For a lot of people, once the affair is found out their is groveling on the part of the WS, pain on the part of the WS and the BS both, but nobody really talks about the changes that needed to be made by the BS because they feel victimized and suddenly the WS and the OW are the devil. So... if they are the devil, who is the angel? In the eyes of most BS' s, it is themselves.

are all just trying to be happy and that we sometimes do things we regret in that journey. Jus tgo.forward and do better.

The reason is we never put any responsibilty on the BS as far as any BS is concerned is that the fault in the affair lies solely with the WS and any wrongdoing by the BS is magically forgotten.

 

No I did not misunderstand your point.

 

the BS holds NO RESPONSIBILITY IN THE AFFAIR TAKING PLACE

And you want them to. You want them to say it is their fault, therefore removing any guilt from the WS and their AP.

 

"It may be the wrong choice and may make things worse in the end, and the affair itself is the sole responsibility of the participants, but usually there were things in the marriage that led up to that choice being made."

 

All societies of the world do acknowledge that adultery is the “wrong” choice. That is why it is hidden. That is what bothers AP’s that end up together, the way most anti-adultery people view them. They want respect and recognition and affirmation. Usually only other cheaters will do that.

And that big ole “but” in that paragraph just negated “it that the affair itself is the sole responsibility of the participants because “things” (the horrible BS) made them make that choice.”

 

When you understand that the problem is with the cheater, not the marriage, It becomes clear that it is possible for affairs to happen in good relationships.

 

will admit that they did help me very much in seeing the pain i had helped cause with my guy's ex. And it is monumental.

 

But you should have a clear mind and heart, after all, your MM’s BS was just horrid. She deserved to be cheated on because of "things" leading up to it.

[Ruffian1]

I think it is best we stay on topic to which the OP inquired.

 

 

About falling back into an A.

 

 

From what I have read on here it is very common and happens alotl.

 

 

That is why NC is talked about so much and how hard it is.

I would think if you really wanted to be done with the A relationship it should be fairly easy. Key word is wanting to be done with it.

[Sub]

You read to much into things. I already said what I was going to do. Not talk to him ever again and keep on going.

 

Good. So case closed then? Do you really feel finished with him?

[Blackknight]

I think it is best we stay on topic to which the OP inquired.

 

 

About falling back into an A.

 

 

From what I have read on here it is very common and happens alotl.

 

 

That is why NC is talked about so much and how hard it is.

I would think if you really wanted to be done with the A relationship it should be fairly easy. Key word is wanting to be done with it.

 

Why don't you take your unehlpful judgememts of somethingyou have no idea about and get off my thread, hmmm? You are the one that derailed this thread in the first place and now you are talking about it really bein wasy if "i wanted to". You are harsh, narrominded and have no idea about being me. Nor do you care about me at all just getting your digs in.

[Blackknight]

Good. So case closed then? Do you really feel finished with him?

 

Well, i don't know. I'd say yes but I genuinly felt that for a year and a half... And still broke NC didn't I? At this moment in time I want nothing to do with him, the pain it causes for everyone (except maybe him because I don't think he haser felt pain over his actions), the sneaking and lies and his crazy wife.

[Blackknight]

It was this post that caught my eye.

 

What if the BS had NOT been crazy? Would it then be easier to jump back in?

 

Do only outside consequences effect your actions/thoughts/behaviours?

 

Have you learned to safeguard your own emotional, mental and physical well being? Do you know how to advocate for you?

 

Calling yourself names is not working on self. Calling out other people...even those that you hurt....is not working on self.

 

Finding out where your weak areas are internally and shoring up or rebuilding those areas so you are a safe person for yourself and others is working on self.

 

Whatever. Thanks for twisting that one.

[Blackknight]

Do you at all hold the view that you betrayed yourself first?

 

From where I sit...if we put our integrity into the hands of how another behaves or not behaves...we open ourselves up to rationalize our own actions.

 

In life...there are going to be lots of people that let you down, are disrespectful, unkind and downright hurtful to you. Shouldn't we at least be able to have our own damn backs? Did you have yours? Do you have yours?

 

..we are going to feel differently about people over time..so if our own integrity is tied to just how they make us feel...then we are going to flounder...and flounder. Because it is dependent on them...not ourselves.

 

Too many people neglect the relationship that they have with themselves.

 

I think I said right at the beginning that I was disappointed in myself. At least it should be obvious. But of course now I have been attacked by people who have their own agenda, my words twisted and so much apparent arrogence comig from those that feel superior to me I am about done with this site. You know. It is perfectly possible to point out negative characteristics of other people and still know you are a terrible person yourself. Or do you have to be a saint like most of you guys in order to call someone out?

[Blackknight]

You have gotten very defensive over words from 1 person who was sarcastically claiming ALL BS's are saintly, when there hasn't been one single word to that effect by others. That poster has no respect for BS's and needs to blame BS's to relieve her own guilt. No other poster said the BS in your situation was saintly. There is never an excuse to cheat cause someone thinks a spouse is a b*tch or a d*ck. there is another way to handle that...divorce!

 

You have no idea what the man you were cheating with said to his wife. You do know lies were told and he ran over you with a bus...and then, after some "I'm sorry" language from the cheater, you went right back to dirty talk and having inappropriate communication with this man. Your actions were the cause of the BS being in your life. You chose to involve her when you chose to sleep with her spouse. And now, you are choosing to once again open the door for her to say more things, because you are, in your words, too weak and can't control yourself and want to be a cake eater. So you have no right to get mad when she blows up your world. You are inviting her in.

 

Worked your butt off? No one made you reconcile. That was your choice. But that has been thrown away cause you chose to re-engage with a man who has a wife who isn't afraid of you and who will blow your world up again! How can you do that to your H and kids AGAIN? When he contacts you to meet up for some more great sex, what will your answer be? If it's yes, I hope you are prepared to lose your marriage, your family, your dignity and self respect.

 

He can tell you all day long that his wife isn't being wifely enough for him....her world was rocked when she found out about you. He's a jerk. But none of this means he loves you or wants a life with you. Plus you said he isn't even a good, decent person so why the hell would you blow up your marriage over some dude who isn't even someone you would want a life with?

 

I've explained all this so take your defense of his twisted and horrid wife and stuff it. I don't care what someone else did to you. That is never an excuse to harass the innocent party in the situation. I'm responsible for having sex with her husband. I'm not responsible for her descision to go off the deep end. Believe it or not but even people who are cheated on our 100% responsible for their own actions. I have enough to be responsible for I'm not taking responsibility for someone else's actions.

[Sub]

Well, i don't know. I'd say yes but I genuinly felt that for a year and a half... And still broke NC didn't I? At this moment in time I want nothing to do with him, the pain it causes for everyone (except maybe him because I don't think he haser felt pain over his actions), the sneaking and lies and his crazy wife.

 

Well, how did you feel last time you were done? Was it the same amount of disdain? I think the key lies in how you feel about your H. If you're totally committed to moving back to him emotionally and physically, make some new memories with him to replace the residue of the MM.

[Blackknight]

Well, how did you feel last time you were done? Was it the same amount of disdain? I think the key lies in how you feel about your H. If you're totally committed to moving back to him emotionally and physically, make some new memories with him to replace the residue of the MM.

 

I have made new memories with him. We don't have much of a sex life though but it is a WIP. We spend a lot of time together because exposing the affair pretty much nukes our relationship with all our friends and family. He still goes out with the guys and to his parents but I am not allowed around the guys and I am not welcome at his family's place. So we send the kids there and go on dates. We never fight. Disagree occasionaly but not long.

 

I responded to MM out of curiousity. I thought contacting me so obviously was a pretty brave move and I wanted to know what he had to say. And then he flirted and at first I didn't respond but I kept the door open. And then it progresse from there.

[Blackknight]

You have gotten very defensive over words from 1 person who was sarcastically claiming ALL BS's are saintly, when there hasn't been one single word to that effect by others. That poster has no respect for BS's and needs to blame BS's to relieve her own guilt. No other poster said the BS in your situation was saintly. There is never an excuse to cheat cause someone thinks a spouse is a b*tch or a d*ck. there is another way to handle that...divorce!

 

You have no idea what the man you were cheating with said to his wife. You do know lies were told and he ran over you with a bus...and then, after some "I'm sorry" language from the cheater, you went right back to dirty talk and having inappropriate communication with this man. Your actions were the cause of the BS being in your life. You chose to involve her when you chose to sleep with her spouse. And now, you are choosing to once again open the door for her to say more things, because you are, in your words, too weak and can't control yourself and want to be a cake eater. So you have no right to get mad when she blows up your world. You are inviting her in.

 

Worked your butt off? No one made you reconcile. That was your choice. But that has been thrown away cause you chose to re-engage with a man who has a wife who isn't afraid of you and who will blow your world up again! How can you do that to your H and kids AGAIN? When he contacts you to meet up for some more great sex, what will your answer be? If it's yes, I hope you are prepared to lose your marriage, your family, your dignity and self respect.

 

He can tell you all day long that his wife isn't being wifely enough for him....her world was rocked when she found out about you. He's a jerk. But none of this means he loves you or wants a life with you. Plus you said he isn't even a good, decent person so why the hell would you blow up your marriage over some dude who isn't even someone you would want a life with?

 

I wish I could multinquote on my phone. But basically, you sound like you admire this vile woman. Because she "isn't afraid of me". What the hell does that mean. Like what the f. She is a terrible person and though I never liked her i didn't realize how unhinged she was. Now I do and I was crazy to expose my family to her again. And I beleive I said earlier he isn't a very nice person either except to me. And he did push for a meetup a couple times and I turned him done so take those assumptions and go. Not that you care about helping at all. You just enjoy looking down at me and laughing.

[AlwaysGrowing]

BK,

 

The reason why I try to re steer your talk of the OBS, is that it is a distraction from looking at your own issues/solutions.

 

Whether or not the OBS is a "good" person or not is irrelevant to your own growth.

 

I noticed from earlier in the thread, you listed the work you have done...some have a "as requested", the scrutiny you went under, that your husband asked you to do certain thing, not being allowed to be around "the guys" or his family.

 

It reads like appeasement...which generally will turn into resentment for most.

 

Unless the motivation for change comes from within....nothing internally will change. The internal fail safe switches are tied to others monitoring them. That is where "I am weak" comes from. It is the lack of ownership of ones healing, holding oneself accountable internally. Knowing....really knowing...that Self can control our actions...guide our thoughts...has our back.

 

I wish you well on your life journey.

[Ruffian1]

Whether or not the OBS is a "good" person or not is irrelevant to your own growth.

 

 

Oh, and just for the record, no one is either all good or all bad, and no human is worthy to judge another person.

 

 

A person's behavior can be good or bad. You can stop that bad behavior, stop justifying that bad behavior, stop blaming others for your own bad behavior, or encouraging other to do the same bad behavior.

 

 

Own it, learn from it. Try not to repeat it.

 

 

Do no harm to others is a good way to start thinking.

[Blackknight]

Whether or not the OBS is a "good" person or not is irrelevant to your own growth.

 

 

Oh, and just for the record, no one is either all good or all bad, and no human is worthy to judge another person.

 

 

A person's behavior can be good or bad. You can stop that bad behavior, stop justifying that bad behavior, stop blaming others for your own bad behavior, or encouraging other to do the same bad behavior.

 

 

Own it, learn from it. Try not to repeat it.

 

Do no harm to others is a good way to start thinking.

I really think you just have an axe to grind with your unhelpful and irrelevent posts. I have not once blamed anyone else for my crappy behaviour. But whatever, if it makes you feel better about yourself to give pointless sermons about my particular situation then have fun with that. Just realize yor inability to read what I actually have written, to post relevent to that and to actually care one iota about me make your words empty and pointless.

[Blackknight]

BK,

 

The reason why I try to re steer your talk of the OBS, is that it is a distraction from looking at your own issues/solutions.

 

Whether or not the OBS is a "good" person or not is irrelevant to your own growth.

 

I noticed from earlier in the thread, you listed the work you have done...some have a "as requested", the scrutiny you went under, that your husband asked you to do certain thing, not being allowed to be around "the guys" or his family.

 

It reads like appeasement...which generally will turn into resentment for most.

 

Unless the motivation for change comes from within....nothing internally will change. The internal fail safe switches are tied to others monitoring them. That is where "I am weak" comes from. It is the lack of ownership of ones healing, holding oneself accountable internally. Knowing....really knowing...that Self can control our actions...guide our thoughts...has our back.

 

I wish you well on your life journey.

There is no distraction except for the people who want me to take responsibility for another person's crappy behaviour. I have done enough myself I don't need that. And once again where Have I blamed anyone at all.

 

I really think you guys read ony what you want have your preconcieved ideas of what every situation looks like that you are absolutely no help to me. You convinced and looking for me not ownig my behaviour in every little thing I post.

 

I am done with this useless place full of judgemental people who latch on to something despite all evidence on the contrary and stick with that.

 

Of course you'll never admt you are wrong in your judgements. Way too proud for that.