dazednconfused70 Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Long story short: Reconnected with an old friend of 30 years, he's been with her 23 years, I couldn't deal with the pain of what it would do to her and their kids so I went NC (including social media)-no explanation or warning, just did it. He's on my mind constantly. Throwing myself into work, exercise, taking care of me, hanging out with friends and family but I can't focus and the "what if" thoughts are eating me alive. I feel like I'm going crazy. I know there could never be an "us" unless he was in a truly status and that will never happen, but it is a constant struggle emotionally and mentally to keep from reaching back out to him. My mind logically tells me all the reasons to stay NC, but my emotions are all over the place..hard to make your heart believe someone you care so much for really does not care for you. So how do you get through this? Link to post Share on other sites
GettingOver Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 From my experience no matter if you keep yourself busy or not - I guess only time can help... I honestly feel pretty bad sometimes and fight with an urge to contact him. My mind is saying the same things to me - DON'T. Try to just accept it as it is for now. Sometimes there is no magic advise. It will get better as time goes by... For example this is for me a third break-up with the same MM... the first one was really horrible, I could not eat and cried the whole time. Second time was much easier as I was frustrated by the situation. Third time as well. I miss him every day though. Try to think of the bad things about this person and relationship. It helps a bit. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Appreciate Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Rubber band on the wrist. Snap it every time you think of him! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Finding a new man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GettingOver Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Finding a new man. Very true, BUT it has to be a right man and you have to fall in love. Not just whatever man... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Rubber band on the wrist. Snap it every time you think of him! I think I am going to try this! Link to post Share on other sites
pixiecut Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Very true, BUT it has to be a right man and you have to fall in love. Not just whatever man... I would advise against rebounding, might make you feel better short term but not long term. healing has to happen. I did that, got involved with a great guy before being over the MM, he fell hard, but I could not offer the same back. Ended up breaking up as i decided the longer i waited more i would hurt him. and now i feel terrible for hurting an innocent person who was nothing but amazing to me, as well as losing a great friend he was prior to getting romantically involved. Link to post Share on other sites
GettingOver Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 I would advise against rebounding, might make you feel better short term but not long term. healing has to happen. I did that, got involved with a great guy before being over the MM, he fell hard, but I could not offer the same back. Ended up breaking up as i decided the longer i waited more i would hurt him. and now i feel terrible for hurting an innocent person who was nothing but amazing to me, as well as losing a great friend he was prior to getting romantically involved. I had a similar experience. Thanks God the guy turned out to be a psycho. I liked him first and then I started missing MM. I broke up with him... BUT when I met MM, I was also not over my previous relationship. The thing is - I fell so much in love with the MM that I forgot all my exex in a blink if an eye. I had a million butterflies, a christmas thee - I don't know what else inside of me! So new love can heal old love - but if has to be a strong feeling! Link to post Share on other sites
Back2WhatUKnow Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 I'd agree..time with NC is beneficial. I have done all the activities you have done to stay busy..sometimes not as often I will have a down moment. I allow myself to think what do I miss..but then I equal it with...well remember that it was parttime..the time he hurt me by his choices. I wrote myself a message..about things Id like in a SM. I also wrote a mean message to myself about the truth of the MM..how I will never be apart of the equation..if I did..i would probably be a disaster. Plus I have a little crush on a SM that I been chatting with for a bit..but I am waiting to heal and feel more better before I try dating. It is all a slow..process. Link to post Share on other sites
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