Apaige Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 And just like that it went silent!?!? Although, I should feel a tad bit lucky because he did the nice little nibble of the ear ( insert sarcasm) it's not as if that was the first time ever saying those words. He initiated the love word first, but he hasn't said them in about 6 months. So, I threw it out there, not as a test, but because I do love him, with all of me. I've been so afraid to speak these words for fear of rejection, and I was rejected, just like that....silence! Something I'll never forget! So now what?! Where do you go from here?!?!
Author Apaige Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 And just like that it went silent!?!? Although, I should feel a tad bit lucky because he did the nice little nibble of the ear ( insert sarcasm) it's not as if that was the first time ever saying those words. He initiated the love word first, but he hasn't said them in about 6 months. So, I threw it out there, not as a test, but because I do love him, with all of me. I've been so afraid to speak these words for fear of rejection, and I was rejected, just like that....silence! Something I'll never forget! So now what?! Where do you go from here?!?! And might I add, we've been exclusively dating one another for two years!
Author Apaige Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 And just like that it went silent!?!? Although, I should feel a tad bit lucky because he did the nice little nibble of the ear ( insert sarcasm) it's not as if that was the first time ever saying those words. He initiated the love word first, but he hasn't said them in about 6 months. So, I threw it out there, not as a test, but because I do love him, with all of me. I've been so afraid to speak these words for fear of rejection, and I was rejected, just like that....silence! Something I'll never forget! So now what?! Where do you go from here?!?! And then I get this text from him!!! Smile, someone does love you!
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Well my SM does not say I love you much... it took some 3 years to get them to come out in the open. It is one of them trust things of sorts. If he says it once he feels that is good enough. You can evaluate love by how he does things within your relationship. Maybe he is not so open with his thoughts, so a wee relationship reassessment, as many do not do so as time goes on. For every plateau you make in a relationship, you must allow for discussion, as the dynamics change practically yearly or sooner. 1
veggirl Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Umm no if a guy can't openly tell me he loves me after TWO YEARS, that's a dealbreaker. He either a) doesn't love me or b) is emotionally retarded and can't express himself. Neither are good. 4
travelbug1996 Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 that would hurt me deeply. sounds like you have a decision to make. I would slowly fade away from someone like this.
melodicintention Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 My daddy would tell you, "Love the man that loves you. Don't put your love into a man who isn't reciprocating." I've been the first to tell a guy I loved him and it scared off most of them, or won me a man who proved to not be worth it over time. So now I won't do that again. Plus, I won't let myself get emotionally involved on that level until he proved he loved me, which includes him point blank saying it of his own volition. I would back off, find other interests, date other men. If he comes around great, but if not, you'll be well on your way to recovery.
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 I am not sure, if I don't have a clue, or everyone is taking the words or lack of there of as the only thing to base love on. I based my 3 years of very little "I love you" being love, by how the other spent time with me and how their pesonality was with me. Any time they felt unsettled about something personal about us, showed that they cared deeply as well. So, i understood love without needing to hear it. Some women need verbal reasurance, and others need affection from sharing equally.
travelbug1996 Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 i want love in Actions and in Words. When I was married I didn't care if my exh said it. I was more concerned with his actions. Since I'm more comfortable now expressing my feelings I want someone like that as well. It says a lot about someone who can verbally express how they feel to someone they love. The actions definitely have to be in alignment as well.
2.50 a gallon Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 From your previous thread, he used to say he loved you a lot. Then you got scared and pulled away. It is hard to say whether he will be able to find trust in you again, but I am sure if he does it will take some time.
Tayken Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 And then I get this text from him!!! Smile, someone does love you! Yes...."someone", which means it could be anybody but him. Hardly a personalized statement. You said you've been divorced for 2 yrs right i.e. ink on the paper drying? Perhaps give yourself some time, and make sure you cover all your bases with what it is that was missing from your previous, that means the absolute to you moving forward. 1
mammasita Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 I'm real confused. Is the man you just said "I love you" to the one you speak of in these posts? https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/493707-i-ve-done-everything-i-can-he-still-doesn-t-care-like-he-used https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/494254-losing-interest-good-thing-not-so-good-thing
NYWoman Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 After burning him once, and you are surprised he is gun shy? 2
Author Apaige Posted September 29, 2014 Author Posted September 29, 2014 Yes...."someone", which means it could be anybody but him. Hardly a personalized statement. Well, my reply to that, was; " I know that, but I didn't tell those other people that I loved them", and then his response was, " Now why did you need to be sarcastic?! I meant ME. I just don't express myself all of the time." UGH You said you've been divorced for 2 yrs right i.e. ink on the paper drying? Perhaps give yourself some time, and make sure you cover all your bases with what it is that was missing from your previous, that means the absolute to you moving forward. And I totally wished, I would have done just this! Trust me I am kicking myself in the rear, b/c I didn't...
Author Apaige Posted September 29, 2014 Author Posted September 29, 2014 I'm real confused. Is the man you just said "I love you" to the one you speak of in these posts? https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/493707-i-ve-done-everything-i-can-he-still-doesn-t-care-like-he-used https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/494254-losing-interest-good-thing-not-so-good-thing Yes, and I know, no contact is NO CONTACT!!
Tayken Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Sweetheart (Did I just call you that)? I keed I keed It sounds to like you need more time to reflect, get your confidence back and be strong for you. If you must indulge, find a decent FWB temporarily. This will give you time to come up with what it is that was missing from your past in your mind, and better aid you in seeking that unicorn-ish man ( a few of us out there waiting to be snapped up) Additionally, occupy your idleness with hobbies / interests e.g. volunteer work, photography, walk/run groups...something. I expect the cheque in the post
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