Author LakersFan81 Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 How did you react after the BU? Did u delete her totally off everything and go NC? It's crazy because I never thought this would happen to me either. Cannot get it out of my head This was my first real serious relationship I've ever had, so I did pretty much everything the wrong way, and probably ruined any chance of her ever coming back to me. I'm a very emotionless person, and I broke down and cried in front of her. Was just in shock at all the things she was saying. She told me how she's already at peace that our relationship is over, she told me how bad the idea of marriage with me sounded because many of her family, and friends were asking when we were gonna get married. She told me how she thinks she can do better, etc, etc. Lots of heartless stuff that I had no idea was coming. I continued to try and contact her off and on every week or so, and she would never answer me. She finally answered an email of mine about 3 weeks after the breakup saying "how she wanted to be friends" and I told her that I thought we were already best friends, and she decided to cut me out of her life. Also tried calling her on my birthday (stupid mistake) and left her a voice mail saying how I missed her, and can't believe she didn't even give me a happy birthday if she actually meant I was her friend. Finally I decided the day after, it's time for me to man up and go NC because I am just delaying the healing process, and she isn't answering anyways. Been NC for about 2 months now, and have her deleted off all social media. I'm just in absolute shock that I haven't heard from her at all. It blows my mind how we went from talking everyday, all day long to nothing just like that, and now it seems like I will never hear from her in my life again. I try to stay as busy as possible, because when I am left with free time like today, I tend to think about how everything ended and it drives me insane. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LakersFan81 Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 I do not dare to tell you that things will get better. I can tell you things will get to normal again. Meaning this situation will get normal for you and the feelings will get flatter. At a certain moment she wont be the dominant factor on your mind any-more and she will fade to the background, other things then will occupy your mind. Also because your mind will get tired of it at a certain point. Another fantastic thing is that we forget, not suppress, but just forget the lively details. As I said before, sometimes we are triggered due to certain things and our brain pulls open a drawer that has been closed for a while. Usually those are fleeting moments. As for people doing incomprehensible things, the truth is sometimes people do things we never will understand and sadly sometimes they do not understand themselves either. And often they are afraid to face the truth of their actions. Thanks for the encouraging words. I guess I just have to keep faith that I will eventually get over it. It's hard to picture a future with her gone completely. Just need to get rid of the self doubts, and tell myself I can get through this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Feelbettersoon Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 This was my first real serious relationship I've ever had, so I did pretty much everything the wrong way, and probably ruined any chance of her ever coming back to me. I'm a very emotionless person, and I broke down and cried in front of her. Was just in shock at all the things she was saying. She told me how she's already at peace that our relationship is over, she told me how bad the idea of marriage with me sounded because many of her family, and friends were asking when we were gonna get married. She told me how she thinks she can do better, etc, etc. Lots of heartless stuff that I had no idea was coming. I continued to try and contact her off and on every week or so, and she would never answer me. She finally answered an email of mine about 3 weeks after the breakup saying "how she wanted to be friends" and I told her that I thought we were already best friends, and she decided to cut me out of her life. Also tried calling her on my birthday (stupid mistake) and left her a voice mail saying how I missed her, and can't believe she didn't even give me a happy birthday if she actually meant I was her friend. Finally I decided the day after, it's time for me to man up and go NC because I am just delaying the healing process, and she isn't answering anyways. Been NC for about 2 months now, and have her deleted off all social media. I'm just in absolute shock that I haven't heard from her at all. It blows my mind how we went from talking everyday, all day long to nothing just like that, and now it seems like I will never hear from her in my life again. I try to stay as busy as possible, because when I am left with free time like today, I tend to think about how everything ended and it drives me insane. I haven't heard a thing either. He was always always always contacting me over text especially throughout the entire relationship and friendship before. I had to listen to all the cold hard things too such as when I inaiated contact two months post BU ,two weeks ago "Iv never been happier since we ended" etc to my face, which was soul killing! Or "I want to be friends, just not friends that see each other...the kind of friends who text happy new year" I just want to understand as a few of us have posted similar, how can someone go from so loving to a complete d**k with no heart, guilt or feelings! It's so painful and I could never imagine treating anyone this way! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LakersFan81 Posted October 2, 2014 Author Share Posted October 2, 2014 I haven't heard a thing either. He was always always always contacting me over text especially throughout the entire relationship and friendship before. I had to listen to all the cold hard things too such as when I inaiated contact two months post BU ,two weeks ago "Iv never been happier since we ended" etc to my face, which was soul killing! Or "I want to be friends, just not friends that see each other...the kind of friends who text happy new year" I just want to understand as a few of us have posted similar, how can someone go from so loving to a complete d**k with no heart, guilt or feelings! It's so painful and I could never imagine treating anyone this way! I just can't comprehend how they can flip a switch, and go from loving you, to acting like you are the worst person in the world. I did nothing to make her treat me this way. Even though I will never understand completely why she left me, if she could have just handled it with some respect for me, and maybe shed a tear or two and acted like I mattered to her, I don't think I would be near as hurt as I am right now. Makes it even more crazy how she just ignored me whenever I tried contacting her after the breakup. We talked to each other about everything. We talked all day, everyday. To see her dump me, and hang out with friends she always talked crap about, and act like she is the happiest person in the world just makes no sense to me, and never will. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
adam_vt Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 Best thing to do is move on. Give yourself some space to morn the loss, but get out and start meeting new people asap. It can be a catch 22 of course, because when you're feeling bummed out about the last one, it's tougher to be attractive to anyone. But it can be done. Don't waste another minute lamenting about lost love, or worrying about what went wrong, or any of that crap. Just put a smile on, and get out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelbettersoon Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 I just can't comprehend how they can flip a switch, and go from loving you, to acting like you are the worst person in the world. I did nothing to make her treat me this way. Even though I will never understand completely why she left me, if she could have just handled it with some respect for me, and maybe shed a tear or two and acted like I mattered to her, I don't think I would be near as hurt as I am right now. Makes it even more crazy how she just ignored me whenever I tried contacting her after the breakup. We talked to each other about everything. We talked all day, everyday. To see her dump me, and hang out with friends she always talked crap about, and act like she is the happiest person in the world just makes no sense to me, and never will. Have you looked on any of her social media recently? Today marks two weeks that I havent. Its so hypocritical when you said your ex talked bad about people and now hangs with them - I was forever encouraging my ex to get healthy etc and the min we break up he starts posting how he is starting a new healthy lifestyle (lol it makes me laugh because it's the opposite of him!) and doing everything he wouldn't do while I was with him. I wonder is this a mind game to hurt us or a huge coincidence.. It's all just totally bizzare to me how it flipped Link to post Share on other sites
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