Ex is so hot and cold, rougher tonight/in more pain than usual (Updated)

[Simon Phoenix]

I realize you are keyed up. We'll talk tomorrow when you calm down a bit. You've had a lot to process and a good night's sleep would probably help things slow down in your head so you can process what's being said a bit better.

[KatZee]

You're right. Hope I learn from this. And hopefully one day I'll be giving advice to girls my age like you're doing. I deleted and blocked him from everything.

 

I'm sorry I got b*tchy with you... I know you're just trying to help.

 

It's just that my emotions are all over the place right now, and I'm truly sorry.

 

This is normal. It's normal to lash out when you're not hearing what you want to hear when you're going through something like this. The stories I have of myself are crazy and I remember being the exact same way.

 

It's all part of grieving a loss, and coping with something that is compared to as an actual death of a person. You're going to be on this roller coaster of emotions for a while...but YOU can shorten the ride dramatically by taking the right steps...and blocking and deleting him is step 1. You're on your way already.

 

When my first love dumped me...(together 1 year) we didn't have these Internet forums. I didn't have people to knock sense into me. Instead I spent seven YEARS! thinking this guy was the greatest thing on earth. Feeling anger, loss, sadness, guilt. It was awful.

 

The second time I found love was 8 years after that guy. I spent 3 years with him and was dumped again. I was over him in 6 months. What you feel now...it doesn't get any worse than this. So just know that. The beginning is always the hardest, and strongest of emotions.

 

People might get frustrated if you roll backwards because we've been there and we know where that road goes. And it's no where you want to be. You may slip up, answer a text, see him in passing and feel emotions all over again...but it's all NORMAL. but then go back to strict! Moving on.

 

One day you really will look at yourself and look at him and be like...what the hell was I even doing????! One day you're going to experience real love, true love from another person and you'll be so grateful you freed yourself from this schmuck so you could find him. Things always. ALWAYS happen for reasons. It teaches us how to grow, and evolve into the best person we're meant to be. Trust it. Trust this pain because you're going to come out of it a brand new person. Smarter, wiser, more experienced and more equipped to tackle the dating world.

[lauri]

first off, my name is not dude.

 

And he was calling me a weak person. That's INSULTING...

 

Does anyone on this board know what insulting means?

 

I am off to bed and not coming back to this place. You can all get off this thread now.

 

Wish you all the best.

 

I think you're taking things too much to heart. C'mon, you're better then this and you know deep down inside people don't mean any harm to you. Its always a tough pill to swallow when you hear things about yourself that you may find shocking / surprising. Its normal for you to be angry and going through these emotions but the people you're lashing out at actually helped me get out of some really really dark places with my breakup.

 

Believe me, I was in denial about myself and my flaws. In fact, I still am. I feel like sometimes the way I was raised (really old school / traditional Italian) doesn't really fit into what people look for today.

 

I understand that learning things about yourself can be confusing but you need to get a hold of yourself / pull yourself together.

[singsparkles]

This is normal. It's normal to lash out when you're not hearing what you want to hear when you're going through something like this. The stories I have of myself are crazy and I remember being the exact same way.

 

It's all part of grieving a loss, and coping with something that is compared to as an actual death of a person. You're going to be on this roller coaster of emotions for a while...but YOU can shorten the ride dramatically by taking the right steps...and blocking and deleting him is step 1. You're on your way already.

 

When my first love dumped me...(together 1 year) we didn't have these Internet forums. I didn't have people to knock sense into me. Instead I spent seven YEARS! thinking this guy was the greatest thing on earth. Feeling anger, loss, sadness, guilt. It was awful.

 

The second time I found love was 8 years after that guy. I spent 3 years with him and was dumped again. I was over him in 6 months. What you feel now...it doesn't get any worse than this. So just know that. The beginning is always the hardest, and strongest of emotions.

 

People might get frustrated if you roll backwards because we've been there and we know where that road goes. And it's no where you want to be. You may slip up, answer a text, see him in passing and feel emotions all over again...but it's all NORMAL. but then go back to strict! Moving on.

 

One day you really will look at yourself and look at him and be like...what the hell was I even doing????! One day you're going to experience real love, true love from another person and you'll be so grateful you freed yourself from this schmuck so you could find him. Things always. ALWAYS happen for reasons. It teaches us how to grow, and evolve into the best person we're meant to be. Trust it. Trust this pain because you're going to come out of it a brand new person. Smarter, wiser, more experienced and more equipped to tackle the dating world.

 

 

 

KatZee,

 

That was very refreshing to hear. I crave to be understood and it feels nice for someone to come from an understanding point instead of bashing.

 

See, I can take bashing, but I think things got way too far last night. I was called weak far too many times (and I think that wasn't right) and the way I acted WASN'T RIGHT. So I don't think anyone was in the right.

 

There's only so many beatings you can take until you explode and I exploded last night. which I feel horrible about.

 

But back to the subject... thank you for this reply...

 

It really made me feel understood.

 

You're right; I am not myself. I am feeling crazy when it comes to this situation. I'm not thinking logically at all. It hurts. My heart burns.

 

But I finally did it. I blocked him...from everything. And I'm not going back.

 

I forgot who said it on this thread but it stuck with me... "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

 

--That's exactly what I was doing. And last night I knew I had to change.

 

I still don't appreciate the bashing, it could have been said differently, but it def helped to an extent cause I looked at myself like an idiot for even conversing with this dude. And I finally snapped out of it.

 

You're right... back in the day, people didn't have these forums. I'm sorry you went 8 yrs going back and forth with your ex. :-( I can't even imagine.

 

I'm glad that you learned from that and the 2nd time around you were able to get over it sooner. I hope I do the same thing, if I happen to meet another guy who isn't deserving of me...

 

I'm hoping I learn from this experience. I'm 25. I want to meet a great guy. I want to have kids. ...I do need to change myself.

 

I don't mind harsh criticism but sometimes I need it to be followed with love... and I guess I can't expect that from strangers. In their mind, they are just going to do the harsh criticism.

 

I am a very sensitive person and I know that...

 

I agree with you... and I did slip up, multiple times... but it's time to pick myself back up and I feel relieved from blocking him from everything. I really almost feel like a weight is lifted off my shoulder.

 

...Because I finally blocked him, I won't have to worry about him calling me and waiting by the phone and waiting for him to change. Those things will never happen and I finally came to realization of that.

 

You're right... I need to free myself from this schmuck so I can find true love.

 

I did finally open my eyes and see that I was being insane even keeping in contact with him.. and maybe I was acting a little insane to everyone around me. I guess this situation has brought out the worst in me. :/ and I feel horrible about it.

 

But its refreshing for someone to understand WHY I'm lashing out...

 

I know the right thing to do. I know I've been weak.

 

But to say it over and over again to me in two threads straight... I don't think that was necessary... and I don't think the evil things I said in return were necessary either.

 

But you did help me come to realization. It's done and over with & I'm not looking back. I would only be insane to look back, and I want my sanity.

 

He's toast... done and over with. No more. Never again. It's definitely the end.

 

I'm on my road to healing and bettering myself for the guy who I'm supposed to end up with.

 

Thanks for all your help and support, and I'm sorry if I lashed out at all last night. You've been such a great help and I know you've been there and done that... I love listening to stories who have already gone through what I'm going through.

 

I'm glad to hear you seem happier today...I hope? If you haven't found a great guy, I know you will, because you seem like an amazing person.

 

Once again, thank you for all your help and support... it finally hit me in the head and made me realize all I was doing wrong and pushed me to change.

 

Hugs,

xxxx

[singsparkles]

I think you're taking things too much to heart. C'mon, you're better then this and you know deep down inside people don't mean any harm to you. Its always a tough pill to swallow when you hear things about yourself that you may find shocking / surprising. Its normal for you to be angry and going through these emotions but the people you're lashing out at actually helped me get out of some really really dark places with my breakup.

 

Believe me, I was in denial about myself and my flaws. In fact, I still am. I feel like sometimes the way I was raised (really old school / traditional Italian) doesn't really fit into what people look for today.

 

I understand that learning things about yourself can be confusing but you need to get a hold of yourself / pull yourself together.

 

 

 

I understand I reacted badly, but saying I'm weak over and over again in multiple threads also isn't nice neither. So I think two people were in the wrong, including myself.

 

It's okay, I understand I've been weak.. but no need to rephrase it and say it in a ton of different ways. By then, you're just trying to see the worst in me while I already know every little thing that you're saying. I'm basically hard enough on myself, is the point.

 

I pulled myself together in the way that I finally implemented NC and finally opened my eyes that I was being insane by doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

 

I don't regret being upset that the word "weak" was thrown at me a million times... but I do regret the way I reacted towards it.

[Redhead14]

So I started dating a guy a few months ago. Everything seemed perfect, he seemed like the perfect gentlemen.. treated me so sweet, kissed me at every red light, told me I was beautiful every second of every day. I really thought he was the one and I would have never left him.

 

Then all the sudden after hanging out one night, he accused me of cheating on him (which I never did), and then stopped talking to me and ignored me completely. I went psycho sending him a million texts and calls because I wanted to talk it over and I wanted communication. He just ignored my every attempt to contact him, and blocked me on all social media. So I was left in the dark with absolutely no clue what happened or why we even broke up. It hurt so bad.

 

I messaged him for three weeks straight while he ignored me. Then one day I decided to initiate NC. I did this for two weeks straight, then he contacted me telling me he missed me and wanted to see me. He lives a state away so I drove 2 1/2 hours to see him only for him to not answer his phone or door. He then sent me a text the next day saying, "my bad , I fell asleep" as if me driving that far to see him was nothing. He then decided to tell me he wanted to hangout that night. So I forgave him and said we could. Then he contacted me last minute and said, "sorry I have plans with my friends, I forgot it was his bday and I'm going to a strip club"

 

I flipped **** and began to become psycho again. That night I called him like a million times while he was out and he kept telling me to stop. I kept asking him why he was hurting me and why he wanted to see me in pain and why he was doing this to me. He hung up on me.

 

So then I initiated NC again. Then a week later he calls me and says, "you're the only girl I've ever loved this much and it scares me, thats why I push you away... I want to see you this weekend" so then that weekend we hung out. Everything was perfect. We were acting like a couple. We slept together that night, and one thing led to another, if you know what I mean. The next day I dropped him back off home and he gave me a kiss goodbye and said, "I'll call you later tonight" ...he never called me, and it's now been a week. I contacted him two days after he didn't message me going nuts.

 

I kept asking him once again why he wanted to see me in pain and why he keeps breaking my heart. I told him I cry myself to sleep every night over him and I love him so much and how I miss the old him and how he used to be. I poured my heart out to him in messages. He ignored the messages, then proceeded to tweet on Twitter and also change his profile picture.

 

I'm having such a hard time with this because I don't understand my exes actions, and I keep analyzing them. Does anybody know why he keeps calling me to say he cares, then going weeks acting as if I don't exist? Please, somebody, shed light on this... Tonight is so hard. I am so tempted to contact him, but it's been a full week since I havent contacted him and I know I shouldn't break it.

 

But it hurts so much. I feel beaten down like I have nothing left to give. The thought of love or sex with soemone else makes me feel literally nauseous. And the thought of him being with someone else makes me sick.

 

I'm so lonely, so it doesn't make it any better. I don't have many friends so I'm stuck at home, and I have to refrain myself from looking at his social media because it only hurts me more. This Friday night seems like it's going to be long... my head is spinning and I don't know what to do with myself. Can someone please give me advice?

 

 

 

Thanks so much for all your time!

Hugs,

xxxx

 

He is soothing/feeding his own ego. He on one hand probably misses you for sex, etc. and on the other hand wants to know that you are pining away for him. That boosts his ego. No contact is no contact. You block him. If you don't block, do not respond in anyway. Move on Period for your own good.

[singsparkles]

I do understand that people on this thread have been trying to help me, bashing or not... even though it took about 17 pages of a thread, I finally opened my eyes.

 

I don't know what happened, but I finally woke up and smelled the coffee.

 

I did what I needed to do: blocked him from literally everything.

 

Although it hurts, at the same time it feels liberating.

 

Thank you all for your support and advice...

 

I know I haven't been an easy one to deal with, as I've made a lot of mistakes on the way, but I'm done doing this to myself.

 

I know I deserve better and he is only holding me back from happiness and true love.

 

I did what I needed to do, finally. And I have a lot of you to thank.

 

 

 

Hugs

[singsparkles]

He is soothing/feeding his own ego. He on one hand probably misses you for sex, etc. and on the other hand wants to know that you are pining away for him. That boosts his ego. No contact is no contact. You block him. If you don't block, do not respond in anyway. Move on Period for your own good.

 

 

 

Redhead,

 

I agree. It's been a long time coming and I've made multiple mistakes breaking NC over and over again.

 

Last night I finally did the right thing and I blocked him from everything.

 

No going back. Ever.

 

Thanks for your reply

Hugs

xx

[ThorntonMelon]

Good for you making decisions for you, Sparkles!

[singsparkles]

Good for you making decisions for you, Sparkles!

 

 

Thank you, ThorntonMelon. :-) I feel very good I finally made the right decision.

 

I know it won't be easy, but I'm adamant and very ready for the road to recovery and healing. :-)

 

Hugs!,

xxx

[singsparkles]

I didn't say you have no personality. I said work on it, as that's what cements someone who initially falls for the looks.

 

You have a huge heart and always get hurt, huh? Well, you've admitted to blowing off the good/intelligent guys who treated you well. Huge heart... ok.

 

If you're not attracted to any guy, for whatever reason, then fine. However, you're just wanting what you can't have, and you're wanting someone who just basically used you. You're not alone in this regard, but that's not exactly showing you have a 'huge heart.'

 

 

 

Charming personality? He used you, sweetheart. You don't know the difference between personality and a guy doing everything he can to get in your pants. You need to learn that.

 

Hey, I'm on your side! When you come to a forum asking for advice, you're going to get some that you don't want to hear once in a while. I know I have!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SoThatHappened,

 

I feel a HUGE need to apologize to you for last night. You didn't deserve what I said to you at all or the behavior I was showing. You're a nice guy and I know you've only been trying to help me and you were giving me tough love.... And maybe it worked, because I finally did the right thing. And I have you to thank...

 

I just really want to apologize to you and I hope you accept it. What I said was cruel and mean. I dont know you from a hole in the wall, but I know you care about people and have been trying to help me since the beginning.

 

A lot of what you said was true, it was just hard for me to accept it. And I finally see a lot of what you said is right. I have been weak... but it's not who I am and it doesn't define me and I have the power to change, and I'm using that power to do so.

 

I'm sorry and I thank you for your support and advice through this whole journey I've been on. It has helped me wonders, even the tough love.

 

Hope you're enjoying your day!

 

Big hugs!

[Redhead14]

Redhead,

 

I agree. It's been a long time coming and I've made multiple mistakes breaking NC over and over again.

 

Last night I finally did the right thing and I blocked him from everything.

 

No going back. Ever.

 

Thanks for your reply

Hugs

xx

 

All the best to you. Always move forward and never look back.

[singsparkles]

All the best to you. Always move forward and never look back.

 

 

Redhead, Thank you.

 

I will definitely do so! No looking back... only forward!

 

xoxo

[SoThatHappened]

I feel a HUGE need to apologize to you for last night. You didn't deserve what I said to you at all or the behavior I was showing.

Accepted I need to apologize as well for coming down harder than I should have. Really sorry for that, but my intentions were in the right place.

 

You have a lot of people to thank here, and you have individually. That's cool of you.

 

.... And maybe it worked, because I finally did the right thing.

You have done the right thing and that's all that matters. Now don't go back!

 

A lot of what you said was true, it was just hard for me to accept it. And I finally see a lot of what you said is right. I have been weak... but it's not who I am and it doesn't define me and I have the power to change, and I'm using that power to do so.

Again, I was a little heavy-handed and that was my fault. Get your strength back now that you have done what you needed to do. It's all about you now.

 

Keep your eyes open in the future for the types of behavior this guy exhibited and it will save you from going through this again.

 

Be good!

[me85]

Thank you, BC...

 

Because I feel like a few people on here are making it seem like if I was "emotionally stronger" and "stood up for myself", he would want me, because "guys like him like strong women" ...

 

How much more sh*tty can you make me feel by saying that?

 

I'm glad atleast one person sees it my way...

 

A bad guy is a bad guy. No woman can change a bad guy, no matter how "strong" she is.

 

But Sparkles, if you know he's a bad guy why do you still hold on to the hopes of being with him again?

 

I understand why you'd be upset by what some people are telling you on here. Some are way harsh but even those people mean well because they were you at one time.

 

No one joins loveshack because they have never been dumped, cheated on, lied to and hurt by someone they we were with.

 

Keep in mind, we're all here for the very same reason, ultimately.

 

Your ego is bruised more than your heart is broken. Because you know he's a bad guy. Because you know you're a catch. So that bothers the sh*t out of you that he rejected you. In your mind, it should be the other way around.

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

Sparkles,

 

Part of the reason people are being so blunt is because we're older (okay, I'm only three years older) and we've been standing exactly where you are. We've been there, we've done that. We see ourselves in you and we are overwhelmed with a desire to kick our own ass. I would love to go back in time, slap my younger self and say "You idiot! Don't ever talk to him EVER EVER again!"

 

Good for you on starting NC. Treat yourself to something nice tonight, whether it's bubble a bath or a glass or two of quality wine. Or both. Tell yourself what I wish I'd been strong enough to say to myself:

 

"This is life. Sometimes it sucks. I'm going to be okay."

[KatZee]

Sparkles,

 

Part of the reason people are being so blunt is because we're older (okay, I'm only three years older) and we've been standing exactly where you are. We've been there, we've done that. We see ourselves in you and we are overwhelmed with a desire to kick our own ass. I would love to go back in time, slap my younger self and say "You idiot! Don't ever talk to him EVER EVER again!"

 

Good for you on starting NC. Treat yourself to something nice tonight, whether it's bubble a bath or a glass or two of quality wine. Or both. Tell yourself what I wish I'd been strong enough to say to myself:

 

"This is life. Sometimes it sucks. I'm going to be okay."

 

Man... if I could bitch slap my younger self, I'd do it in half a heartbeat. I would literally beat myself into a coma.

 

I wasted so many years, so much wasted breath, wasted emotion, on such jackasses! If I can get just one person to NOT do what I did, my work here is done.

[EuTuBrute]

singsparkles

 

It is important to add now that you made your decision, YOU WILL HAVE UP AND DOWN DAYS. Hell even I do. It is normal.

 

But don't forget PUSH FORWARD!

 

If you ever need to talk, come here. We all support you!

[singsparkles]

Accepted I need to apologize as well for coming down harder than I should have. Really sorry for that, but my intentions were in the right place.

 

You have a lot of people to thank here, and you have individually. That's cool of you.

 

You have done the right thing and that's all that matters. Now don't go back!

 

 

Again, I was a little heavy-handed and that was my fault. Get your strength back now that you have done what you needed to do. It's all about you now.

 

Keep your eyes open in the future for the types of behavior this guy exhibited and it will save you from going through this again.

 

Be good!

 

 

 

SoThatHappened,

 

You are a wonderful guy and all you've been is a huge support through this all. I value you accepting my apology so much, because I wasn't so nice. And maybe you were harsh, but I know it was all coming from a place of love, as you didn't want to see me continue making wrong decisions. And I thank you for your tough love. It has actually helped me wonders.

 

I agree with you... and there is no going back. Ever. I did the right thing and I'm not turning around. I feel liberated for finally freeing myself of the bad and I'm in such a frame of mind where I want to focus on myself... maybe get more hours at work and work even harder in nursing school... There's so many things I want to focus on more than I was focusing on them before.

 

I will definitely keep my eyes out for this behavior, as I never want to end up in this situation again. It's all a lesson learned.

 

Time to give a nice guy a chance who actually has insides and a heart that is similar to mine, instead of going for these guys who are so different from myself.

 

Thank you for your support, you're wonderful and some day a lady is going to be lucky to be with you!

 

hugs

[singsparkles]

But Sparkles, if you know he's a bad guy why do you still hold on to the hopes of being with him again?

 

I understand why you'd be upset by what some people are telling you on here. Some are way harsh but even those people mean well because they were you at one time.

 

No one joins loveshack because they have never been dumped, cheated on, lied to and hurt by someone they we were with.

 

Keep in mind, we're all here for the very same reason, ultimately.

 

Your ego is bruised more than your heart is broken. Because you know he's a bad guy. Because you know you're a catch. So that bothers the sh*t out of you that he rejected you. In your mind, it should be the other way around.

 

 

 

Me85,

 

You are totally right. I understand now that sometimes harsh love is needed because I did finally open my eyes and wake up and smell the coffee, so I did get mad...but when I sat and thought about it, I couldn't say that anything anyone was saying was wrong... it was all correct. And I had to face these things. Even stuff about myself that I truly want to change.

 

I totally agree. My ego has been bruised more than my heart and as horrible as it sounds, you are correct. For awhile I sat there saying, "if an a**hole guy like this doesn't want me, who will??" because I know I'm a catch and I know he's a jerk and it just horribly ruined me for awhile because I let it.

 

I know the right thing to do and I finally did it. All the blocking was done and I feel very free and liberated. I finally feel in control of myself and my feelings. I know my life is precious, and I don't want to waste it with a douche bag like him. It's just such a waste of time.

 

Just trying to focus on working and going through nursing school and focusing on myself for once...

 

I've always jumped from relationship to relationship and I've never had the time to be truly single. And I think it's time I be alone for awhile. I need to find my place of peace before getting involved with someone...

 

Because I want to be with a good man and have a family and have beautiful kids someday.

 

Change is needed.

 

I thank you for your support through this all.. you've been there with me through it all, and through all my stupid mistakes... You mean a lot to me!

 

Hopefully someday I'll be able to pay it forward...

 

Big hugs!!!

xxxxx

[singsparkles]

Sparkles,

 

Part of the reason people are being so blunt is because we're older (okay, I'm only three years older) and we've been standing exactly where you are. We've been there, we've done that. We see ourselves in you and we are overwhelmed with a desire to kick our own ass. I would love to go back in time, slap my younger self and say "You idiot! Don't ever talk to him EVER EVER again!"

 

Good for you on starting NC. Treat yourself to something nice tonight, whether it's bubble a bath or a glass or two of quality wine. Or both. Tell yourself what I wish I'd been strong enough to say to myself:

 

"This is life. Sometimes it sucks. I'm going to be okay."

 

 

 

I totally understand, completely. You wanna dig it into me and make me realize what I'm doing is stupid because you've been there and done that. And I only thank you for caring enough to try to get me to see that there is more to life and I don't need to keep making these mistakes and I can be happy if I free myself of this/him.

 

I thank you for trying to stop me from doing what you did. I would do the same thing if I saw someone going through something I did that hurt me badly. I wouldn't want to see that person go through the same dark road, so I thank you.

 

There's nothing else in the cards for this situation except for NC. It's staying that way. I feel so happy right now. But I know there will still be hard nights... and sometimes it will be rough... but I'm thankful to have all of you. It's refreshing to know you can talk to other people who have been through what you're going through/or are still going through it. NC is not an easy thing and I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but I'm loving myself enough to know he doesn't deserve me. And it's going to stay that way, no matter how many times he tries to contact me from different numbers, different social medias. I'm going to ignore everything. I know what he's about and he will never change. And I demand better for myself, for once.

 

I love the advice you gave.

 

A glass of wine and a nice bubble bath sounds AMAZING. And I might just do that tonight, seeing I have some time to myself.

 

So thankful for your support and advice through it all...you don't know what it means to me, don't know what I'd do with all of you.

 

Like I said before, hopefully when you're down and out I'll be there to help you as well.

 

Big big big hugs!!!

xxxx <3

[singsparkles]

Man... if I could bitch slap my younger self, I'd do it in half a heartbeat. I would literally beat myself into a coma.

 

I wasted so many years, so much wasted breath, wasted emotion, on such jackasses! If I can get just one person to NOT do what I did, my work here is done.

 

 

KatZee,

 

I can only imagine how you felt seeing me go down that dark road and wishing you could stop it. But I must say that all the tough love and drilling stuff into my brain really helped, as I finally see it from an outsider's point of view and see I was just self destructing by even being in contact with him.

 

You're definitely one to thank for me doing the right thing.

 

You made me realize I was being weak, but that wasn't me and I didn't have to be weak, and I could change, and for that, I thank you.

 

I know you've been where I am and you've been through dark times in life and you want to stop me and you don't want me to end up there and I thank you for having enough compassion for caring enough to try and stop me from heading into that direction... because I was pretty much headed there, if not, I was already there and needed to get out

 

Your work was definitely done and it worked on me.

 

Thank you so much for your support and advice...

 

I'm finally in the NC zone as everyone else is and am going to stay there.

 

I know times won't be easy, but I will pull through it by loving myself enough to know I deserve better than an idiot douche bag who just wants to play with my feelings and heart.

 

I feel free without him in my life. Liberated, really.

 

Thanks so much, KatZee.

 

Big hugs!!!

xx:)

[singsparkles]

singsparkles

 

It is important to add now that you made your decision, YOU WILL HAVE UP AND DOWN DAYS. Hell even I do. It is normal.

 

But don't forget PUSH FORWARD!

 

If you ever need to talk, come here. We all support you!

 

 

EuTuBrute,

 

Thank you for your wonderful encouragement.

 

I know I will have down days and I know they are inevitable. I know I will go through hell some nights... but then again, I know all of it will pay off because I will be MUCH happier in the end.

 

I'm definitely going to keep pushing forward, and I hope you do as well.

 

I feel thankful for all the support, you don't even know... I finally did the right thing and I have all of you to thank.

 

I'd like to think we are all here to support eachother and hopefully none of us ever feel alone in our processes/journeys... I hope you know I'm here for an ear or a shoulder as well, always.

 

 

Hugs hugs!

xxxxx

[EuTuBrute]

singsparkles

 

Let me just tell you a little about my story and the importance of moving forward and not giving up.

 

I meet my first girlfriend in college and it was a 2.5 year relationship. It was the best damn feeling in the world! She was a beautiful girl and we had so much in common.

 

Then boom, one day she said she needed a break. All i felt from her was a cold artic breeze. I couldn't believe it. It was a perfect relationship in my mind; I have never felt so much love and experienced so much fun in my life.

 

She wouldn't even tell me what happened and would just ignore my texts and phone calls. Just even more cold. I kept her on facebook and i would look it at almost every day. She even posted on there that she was excited for a date one day, "It was like ridding a bicycle she said, I did it once i can do it again." My heart just sank lower.

 

So what i did was i pinned for her for a whole damn year. That's right a whole year. I lost 20 pounds and drank like a fish. I felt If i kept her in my mind she would come back one day. She was my one true love!

 

Well she sort of did! I ran into her at a bar and we talked and had a great time. It was like she never left. We began seeing each other again. She told be she missed me and loved me and she had a problem of "committing". Maybe she realized finally what she lost!

 

I was on cloud nine again. But guess what, that coldness that i experienced once came back. She would pull and i would push; fighting for the girl i really truly loved! It felt like a was walking on egg shells. Now she is ignoring my texts again and wouldn't even talk to me. I got played and used. Treated like crap by the one girl i truly love.

 

I'm probably just rambling but the point of the story is, A leopard can't change its spots. The problem is not with you, IT IS WITH THEM. You are a catch ( I believe I am as well).

 

I still hurt from the second knock down but you know what, I finally believe that i deserve better. You seem like you have a big heart and care. Some people just like to abuse that and take it for a weakness.

 

We just need to move forward and not give up because we are good people. I'm not really religious but i do believe someone is watching over us to telling us something better is out there.

 

So please don't be like me and channel your energy on someone that doesn't deserve it. Days i still struggle but you have to believe in yourself.

[singsparkles]

singsparkles

 

Let me just tell you a little about my story and the importance of moving forward and not giving up.

 

I meet my first girlfriend in college and it was a 2.5 year relationship. It was the best damn feeling in the world! She was a beautiful girl and we had so much in common.

 

Then boom, one day she said she needed a break. All i felt from her was a cold artic breeze. I couldn't believe it. It was a perfect relationship in my mind; I have never felt so much love and experienced so much fun in my life.

 

She wouldn't even tell me what happened and would just ignore my texts and phone calls. Just even more cold. I kept her on facebook and i would look it at almost every day. She even posted on there that she was excited for a date one day, "It was like ridding a bicycle she said, I did it once i can do it again." My heart just sank lower.

 

So what i did was i pinned for her for a whole damn year. That's right a whole year. I lost 20 pounds and drank like a fish. I felt If i kept her in my mind she would come back one day. She was my one true love!

 

Well she sort of did! I ran into her at a bar and we talked and had a great time. It was like she never left. We began seeing each other again. She told be she missed me and loved me and she had a problem of "committing". Maybe she realized finally what she lost!

 

I was on cloud nine again. But guess what, that coldness that i experienced once came back. She would pull and i would push; fighting for the girl i really truly loved! It felt like a was walking on egg shells. Now she is ignoring my texts again and wouldn't even talk to me. I got played and used. Treated like crap by the one girl i truly love.

 

I'm probably just rambling but the point of the story is, A leopard can't change its spots. The problem is not with you, IT IS WITH THEM. You are a catch ( I believe I am as well).

 

I still hurt from the second knock down but you know what, I finally believe that i deserve better. You seem like you have a big heart and care. Some people just like to abuse that and take it for a weakness.

 

We just need to move forward and not give up because we are good people. I'm not really religious but i do believe someone is watching over us to telling us something better is out there.

 

So please don't be like me and channel your energy on someone that doesn't deserve it. Days i still struggle but you have to believe in yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

EuTuBrute,

 

Thank you for sharing your story with me, as it meant a lot. It seems we have a very lot in common.

 

I'm sorry your situation was so similar... the push-pull... them going cold, then returning and you being completely happy when they return, thinking everything is rainbows and butterflies and having hope that things may truly work out this time...

 

But I think you're right... a leopard never changes it's spots...

 

Your story means a lot, as you actually met up with her a second time, and still realized she truly didn't change in the end.

 

I don't want to make the mistake of believing in his words or going back to him. He's been all talk, and no action. I can't understand a word he says, he's so mixed up with himself.

 

I've come to the conclusion he's not happy with his life. He basically texted me and says he goes to school from 8am to 2pm then works night shift and is unhappy as he has no time to do anything else and makes ****ty money and all of it goes to rent.

 

I understand hes under pressure... but me, myself, even if I was under pressure (WHICH I AM... I work AND go to nursing school!), I still find time for him to even text or call for 5 mins, why?? because I cared about him.

 

He did not care about me enough to fit me into his life, plain and simple. Everything out of his mouth was just an excuse to bide time, to keep me just there enough so if he was bored one night and wanted some action he could call me. I see it all so clearly now.

 

He's a man's man. He's young. He doesn't care about women. He cares about watching sports and maybe having sex here and there. And I'm not the women for that. I'm not going to belittle myself to be with him. It's done and over with and no looking back.

 

You're right; people like us have huge hearts and people do take it for weakness. I'm sure your ex did as mine did as well. I think he used how much I cared about him against me, to be honest. He knew how much I loved him and he knew I would jump backwards if he asked me to come see him, bc I would have done anything to see him, even if it was at 2am, I would drive a state over. Gosh, I would have driven there every day.

 

I made myself way too available for him, and I realize it now. He didn't deserve me. I'm a great catch and he knows it, and I'm okay with it now. I'm okay with things being over.

 

I find it weird that ever since we truly broke up he doesn't come on social media anymore, while when we were dating and even BEFORE we were dating he was constantly on Twitter tweeting all the time. Now he tweets every 2 weeks. He definitely is going through something internally, but I can't be there to help because he chooses not to let me in. He chooses to push me away, and that in itself gives me total reason to move on.

 

If I had issues, I would want to work them out together, with him, not separately. We value relationships completely different. Our personalities are way too different. We are not good for eachother and truly toxic for eachother.

 

I thank you for your story and advice.

 

I definitely do not plan on ever going back to see him.

 

I don't follow him on Twitter, but he's free to look at my Twitter any time he wants and he can eat his heart out... not my loss, it's his loss, and I see it now.

 

 

Thanks for your support through this all, it means a lot.

 

And I'm glad you got out of that relationship and realize you deserve better... bc you do. Don't EVER settle! You seem like an amazing guy!

 

 

Hugs

xx