Author Mandy26 Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 Thanks - it was even so much mire- swim up bar at the pool - I go to bathroom he has his arm around another lady - flirty in pool- my sin then tells me when I am gone he is carrying another girl to swim up bar - only when I'm gone- blames me when something wrong or stressed from work - he would insult me - i do need to take away what I learned not to compromise my values and self worth - see I met him when I dealing with PTSD from two physical assault I experienced in the workplace. Now I am much better ) and that's probably why I had more for myself to walk away from it. Funny how you get better you not in the same place anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Just stop answering his texts. The "call anytime if you need" would piss me off, like he's doing you a favor and he's such a great guy. I'd be thinking "fck him" - or "her" if it was a woman, same scenario. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Ugh, he's such a lying douche canoe. As others have suggested, don't respond to him if he tries to contact you again. He's hiding a lot, I believe, and what you know is only the tip of the iceberg. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Sad to say but the way he handled this shows that he never really cared much about you in the first place. If he really loved you, he would be totally upset with you breaking up with him over not telling these people that you exist and he would either (a) break down and tell them right in front of you, or (b) sit you down and explain the rationale and reason why these two women can't know you exist in a way that you can understand in order to have you be cool with him not telling them, hoping you accept his reasons. Texting you that you look great and that you can text him anytime if you need anything is not the antics of a man who was just dumped by his girlfriend of two years and is upset about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mandy26 Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 felt sad tonight but thanks again folks for putting things in perspective for me. Made new goals for my future new job new fence on the house and hanging with friends I havent seen forever Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mandy26 Posted October 3, 2014 Author Share Posted October 3, 2014 Really need to stop perseverating over this - as soon I take some downtime I get stuck thing and hoping for a phone cal from him - not a text- I know that will never happen but for some reason I keep wanting the connection back even after I see everything that was sooo wrong - I am such a naive individual fir my age - I need to listen to listen to what the universe gives me - and di good things - I'm beating myself up for not treating him with kindness and distancing myself- instead I put distance in and walked away slowly- sometimes I wonder if I - forget I did try to talk about it and it got me nowhere that's all right I'm good again- sometimes putting thoughts out there make it better once again Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mandy26 Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 Hi, my boyfriend of 2 years, has an ex-fiance who wants to get back together, and a close female friend. They both live in a different province, he does go back home. His ex-fiance was to move out here with him but broke it off because she wanted a biological child of her own and he did not want anymore children(he has two from a previous relationship). Now I have one. We have introduced the kids, gone on two vacations with the children. And one on our own. I have met his family and friends in our province. But he will not let his ex know that he is involved with someone. He will not let his female friend know that he is involved with someone. He tells me that is his private life and he will not let them know. I feel sad about this. Having friends of the opposite gender is not the issue, the fact that he wont tell them he is involved with someone is. I have male friends, we chat once in a blue moon , we text, but they all know I am in a relationship. We never go into a discussion about our relationships, our friendships are based on our past and whats going on thats all. He went back home for a visit and I told him I was not working I could go. He didn't give out the invite. During the trip his friend back home made dinner plans with him. His friend did not show but the ex fiance showed up. I knew something was up when he wouldnt text me that night and the rest of the trip home. He said she apologized and made a mistake. I asked him if ever mentioned he was in a relationship. He said no. It then escalated into an argument. He then blamed me for not coming. Two years now Im still the secret girlfriend in Ontario. He accused me of not trusting etc. I am normal here? Tell me does it make sense to not tell other significant females in your life that you are involved with someone? His reason with his friend is he said it is difficult to be friends with a female. He does not want it to change. And he worked hard at it. Makes no sense to me...help. Hi, so I got a text from his since being NC since the last text he sent about my sweater. It was simple-he asked if I wanted the microwave, said he would drop it off for me next week in my garage for me if I wanted it. first off I did not respond, but I was surprised I was in regards to my emotional response....I was truely upset and sad. I started reading into a text that meant nothing essentially. Has any of you been through this? Intially my thoughts were irrational hoping he wanted to get back together but I reread it 24 hours later realizing it was not...I guess I just wanted to get others feedback and a little support thanks all Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 He's quietly tormenting you slowly...this petering your belongings to you is intentional. He is not a good person, he is manipulating your emotions and it's cruel. Be strong and stick to your guns, keep up with the no contact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Mandy, look at it this way, he is a guy that keeps women on a string, you, the ex, and the friend, and who knows who else. He looks for those who are easliy swayed into believeing his way is for the best....keeping things a secret. It just makes it easier for him to have access to everyone without being questioned. The next step is to block his number, and delete it so he can no longer contact you. Please let him go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mandy26 Posted November 1, 2014 Author Share Posted November 1, 2014 Smackie9, Thanks so much. I really think though he gets what he is doing. He just wants to be the good guy I think. He made it clear that we wouldn't see each other ( drop it off in my garage is what he offered). So you are correct when you say it is emotional torture but really only because I still struggle with it. thanks fir your support - I still have not responded. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mandy26 Posted November 3, 2014 Author Share Posted November 3, 2014 So I didn't respond to the text- kept true to myself about the NC- so it was 6 days since the text asking if I wanted the microwave- and now he's has emailed me about the stupid microwave and dropping it off in my garage - now I'm frustrated pissed - I really don't think this is about the microwave anymore but zbout himself feeling better or just opening contact - any feedback - still staying strong Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Make sure someone else is there to get the microwave. You should go to a movie or something... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 You wanted NC so why haven't you blocked his number/email???? As for the microwave, tell him to keep the bloody thing and whatever else that was left behind.....and tell him to piss off. Then block all communication from him. He is a weinee 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mandy26 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 I blocked his number - but I'm not computer savy to know how to block before an email is sent but did block this one so it's all done:) I took h off my FB long time ago too. Don't want the microwave I can live without. Link to post Share on other sites
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