beach Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 She can go somewhere else and work 5-6 days and earn twice the money she makes now. She only works 2-3 days now. She can still get a second job on top of the job she has with you to supplement the old amount you paid her. If she wants bigger money them she should be willing to work a lot more days to earn it. Simply handing her more money but not having her earn it is just rewarding her bad behavior and unreasonable solutions to her problem. Don't let HER problem become yours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Missy0724 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Can anyone say, Co-dependency? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 She must get child support money right? If she doesn't then she should petition the court for money to raise her son. You used to allow her to live with you rent free. Consider that she will keep using you as long as you allow it. I live in the area you show as your location. I'd happily work 2-3 days at full blast productivity for $600 per week. She sounds ungrateful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lastresort Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 Does your new girlfriend like the idea that you now pay her more money to do basically the same work? Or did you hide that info from the new girlfriend? The salaries of my employees are none of her business. I'm not defending what I'm doing. I could be donating that kind of money to some fraudulent non-profit which some CEO is pocketing most of it. Don't know if you read complete background but we've been friends for 15+ Years and because of the kids we will remain friends. If og has a problem with us being friends that's her problem. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 The salaries of my employees are none of her business. I'm not defending what I'm doing. I could be donating that kind of money to some fraudulent non-profit which some CEO is pocketing most of it. Don't know if you read complete background but we've been friends for 15+ Years and because of the kids we will remain friends. If og has a problem with us being friends that's her problem. But you said you still love and care for her - does your new gf know you feel this way about your ex? And why did you two break up? It looks like she used to flirt with other men but your history doesn't show the reason why it ended? Does she get child support now? Her solution of prostituting herself shows extreme poor decision making skills. That is showing her lack of character/values. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lastresort Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 We broke up cause I couldn't have her living in my home any longer. I felt she wasn't pulling her weight anymore with what I expect from a women. Laundry would back up and crap like that. I guess I was selfish in what I expected. She did help pay the monthly bills. I cover the mortgage, which is low for where we live. As far as child support she gets $300 per month. Like I said her exH is a tool. That's all the court awarded her. I don't have an actual gf I'm seeing a girl but it's totally plutonic at this time. I'm not a guy that plays the field. I have expectations and until those are proven I won't have sex with them. Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 my ex told me the other day she is going to become an escort. We were together 3 years and friends for 15+. We had a mutual break up about 6 weeks ago. We are still friends just our relationship didn't work anymore. I am pretty well off and supporter her and her son for the years together. She is also employed with my company. She works 2-3 days a week and earns 500-600 a week. She said she can't survive on what i pay and needs to find a way to support her and her son. Here's where my foolishness, love and caring comes in. I talked to her in depth about this. Went over pros and cons with her. We figured out much she needs to make to afford her expenses. I gave her the raise and a little more responsibility with the company. I'm know it is a stupid thing to do and i should just let her go but i don't want her to put herself and family in danger with this choice. I do still love her and care about her greatly. you are anything but a professional 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 No matter what you say or do - you can't MAKE her be a decent person with morals and values. You can accept that this is who she is and let her do what she intends to do...without you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lastresort Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 Wasn't asking if I was a professional. Funny though. Cause your right. I work in sandals and workout shorts 90% of the week. My clients don't see me except maybe once a year or when they sign up for out service. Most my employees don't see me, when they do I laugh that they show up in a suit for meetings. The board room is the room the surfboards are stored in, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
littleplanet Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 So I have to ask the 64 thousand dollar question no-one's asked so far: Why is it that she's so desperate, on her income? Expensive tastes? Heavy debt? Bad money management? I know of grad students with 6-figure debts, 10 dollar an hour job prospects (if they're lucky) faced with boomeranging back home into their childhood bedrooms for the next 20 years............... whose desperation turns them into sugar babies (whose sugar daddies - ironically- just might be raking in interest income on their debt.) Now that's desperate. Why is she? Yeah, some would call this a form of extortion. I don't necessarily see it that way. It's your money to do with as you see fit. If she's a good employee, you decide if she's worth keeping. But again.....that question. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 "It's going to be an awesome jerry springer show one day. You can say you read it here first. lol" OP, I get the feeling you love every second of this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lastresort Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 So I have to ask the 64 thousand dollar question no-one's asked so far: Why is it that she's so desperate, on her income? Expensive tastes? Heavy debt? Bad money management? I know of grad students with 6-figure debts, 10 dollar an hour job prospects (if they're lucky) faced with boomeranging back home into their childhood bedrooms for the next 20 years............... whose desperation turns them into sugar babies (whose sugar daddies - ironically- just might be raking in interest income on their debt.) Now that's desperate. Why is she? Yeah, some would call this a form of extortion. I don't necessarily see it that way. It's your money to do with as you see fit. If she's a good employee, you decide if she's worth keeping. But again.....that question. You nailed it above. Bad money management and expensive taste. I guess I could be considered sugar daddy but only 10 years separate us. So more like uncle lol. You also nailed how she's living in her childhood room with her son. Her mom is bipolar and she is medicated. She makes quick decisions with out thinking of the consequences. She has no access to the company financials. No expense card or anything. When she needs stuff for the company it's all ordered online or cash transactions only. I don't trust people to handle my funds. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lastresort Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 "It's going to be an awesome jerry springer show one day. You can say you read it here first. lol" OP, I get the feeling you love every second of this. Don't really enjoy this at all. I just have to keep it light cause this is crappy decision someone made and just trying to figure out why someone would do this. Some people take this stuff way to seriously and I've got a warped sense of humor. Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 can I come work for you...a $1200 a month raise...Holy Sugar Daddy Batman! I haven't had a raise in 4 years and when I have gotten them it would be more like 1200 over 12 months.. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 I would like to be your employee too, OP! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lastresort Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 It's still under 40k a year. It's not that great of pay. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Do you still have sex with her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lastresort Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 We did the first week or so. But we put an end to that. Wasn't healthy fur me. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Why would she tell you this, if not for a money grab? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lastresort Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 Why would she tell you this, if not for a money grab? I'm not sure it was a money grab as much as knowing she could be making more money else where. She still has goals to hit to make that extra money. The goals are now higher than they used to be and she also has to handle certain clients with the second business that I have. That company is more feminine based and the girls love her. So works perfect. We will see how it works out. We don't see each other on a daily basis, so it's not that bad. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 (edited) Why does she only work 2-3 days? Why can't she plan to work 5-6 days to earn double the money? Earning money by opening her legs is living in a dark world. Selling her soul to the devil. She just doesn't want to work harder. You can't force her to make decent choices for herself. Maybe just encourage her to try it - she can find out first hand how it makes her feel. Edited September 21, 2014 by 2sunny Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 OP just let her go. I'm sure she'll have fun and enjoy her working hours in the horizontal trade. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 yeah why did you have to raise her pay? couldn't she just have started working more hours for you? did you suggest that instead of just handing her money? and please with the "her goals are higher now" like she actually believes you'll cut off the raise if those aren't met. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 As much as you care about HER son, he is not YOUR son and at some point, you are going to have to let both of them go, emotionally. She is trying to manipulate you and it is working. Ultimately, she is responsible for raising her child and if becoming an escort is how she has to do it, than that is her decision. The longer you let her manipulate you into supporting her, the more she will expect. Give her a reasonable timeline as to how long you are willing to do so (90 days?), and then when that time comes, CUT OFF THE FUNDS. And move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts