HappyLove Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Alright then what ya guys really think, it's that he's not interested in ME or not in a girl my age, cause he's another little sitch, today (and I'm not creeping) he drives really nice cars that get spotted around town all the time so someone out it on a car page on fb and where they spotted his car was in front of the very bar and grill he'd gotten the young waitresses number, I hate jumping to conclusions but hell it happened. The bar and grill is on a strip mall like next to a subway and whatever but I just kinda felt terrible thinking wow he went back to the bar and grill to see that waitress WHO IS MOST LIKELY MY AGE. He could've been at subway but I don't know I just found it kinda disheartening Look when someone isn't interested for WHATEVER reason you gotta move on! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Look when someone isn't interested for WHATEVER reason you gotta move on! I agree. Even if he is interested in women your age, he's just not interested in you is the obvious part. I wouldn't get worked up about it personally. People are allowed their preferences and sometimes we aren't it. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with us or them, just that they don't like us for whatever reason. A part of having strong self worth is being able to accept that not everyone will be interested in you and that's not a negative reflection on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 I agree about not all men being interested in much younger women. I was once very attracted to a man 20 years older than me, but he could not get past the age difference. 50-something men mostly know that despite some back slapping to their face, they'd be mostly mocked, especially if it led to serious relationship/marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 I see most of you have a point yea But I hate the term rejected, like he turned down a date cause he said he's complicated and prefers being friends first. What does appeal to me is that he's older but I'm just surprised an older guy turned down a young girl, cause he's dated a younger girl she was maybe like 30, and getting the waitress was young but yea I guess it shouldn't be this hard, he might've accepted if he was interested. I'm just wondering why he acts certain ways, like seemingly flirting and going out of his way to close my car door Believe it or not, despite what you hear on this site, there are plenty of guys who aren't interested in women young enough to be their kids. The healthy ones with a decent head on their shoulders understand that age differences thus large are more work than its worth. Sometimes people will try it out to see how it goes, or are going through a midlife crisis and let their ego get the best of them, but they usually pull their head out and go back to similar age peers. You would be doing yourself a big favor and stop trying to sexualize every interaction with men who are nice to you. That's not flirting. That is you not used to people treating you well, or at least that is how it looks to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Yeah, okay... a single and apparently wealthy 50 year old man turns down a 22 year old woman and says he wants to be friends first. Is this not obvious? He's definitely not seeing you as a potential. He sees you as one of the guys, but with a feminine body. He is old enough to remember things like courtesy and manners... you know, things a lot of 22 year olds don't know about. Yes, there were days people would just open doors for each other... for NO reason. I know... shocking. Stop reading so much into every little thing and read more into the fact that he rejected you. He doesn't like you that way. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 (edited) I re-read your thread, OP, and saw your comments about the waitress. What is this telling you? - He sounds like a perve if she's your age and took her number Why do you want to be with someone like that? You have also been discussing your crush with the other guys in his group? Do you realize this might make you a target to unwarranted advances from them? I agree with RedRobin that you need to stop sexualizing yourself to men who might be a little nice to you. Advice: Stay away from him and his car buddy group. Go NC (no contact). Work on yourself, and self-esteem. Google how to improve self-esteem. Google codependency. Check out the site baggagereclaim. Go to a counselor. Please take our advice. We're older and have made lots of mistakes and don't want you to do the same. Edited September 18, 2014 by ja123 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 I see most of you have a point yea But I hate the term rejected, like he turned down a date cause he said he's complicated and prefers being friends first. What does appeal to me is that he's older but I'm just surprised an older guy turned down a young girl, cause he's dated a younger girl she was maybe like 30, and getting the waitress was young but yea I guess it shouldn't be this hard, he might've accepted if he was interested. I'm just wondering why he acts certain ways, like seemingly flirting and going out of his way to close my car door Why are you surprised that an older man would turn down a young girl? It happens especially if he's got options. Are you the only girl around with these guys when you look at cars? If so, that is why he is giving you special attention and being gentlemenly. I don't see him closing your door for you as a sign he wants you. What does your Dad say about your falling for this guy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 The guy just didn't sound that interested in YOU. It's also not hard to understand from a mans point of view when the man has options why he would be so eager. A man who has options isn't as tempted by a younger woman's sexuality as a man who hasn't had any attention from women or much or has been married/relationship for a while. He's not isolated from that environment. If that was the case, he'd be at the very very least tempted to take up your offer, but this guy is quite popular, socializing with a lot of women constantly and has the confidence to pursue women that are much younger in their work place...so he's showing his experience and communication level with people of that age group, which again is not common for a man of his age. The reasons why men do not pursue younger women however is not for the reasons men tell older women just to make them feel better or more secure, but then again that's a whole other thread. Men who are not stupid do not intentionally shoot themselves in the foot, and they also don't come off as disrespectful and vile men...by 50 years old men should be competent in their demeanor. and how they want to represent themselves to the world...in fact you should already know that much as a man by the time you're in your mid to late 20's. Women and society make it very clear by then what they want to hear and what they want to see socially. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MapleWish Posted September 18, 2014 Author Share Posted September 18, 2014 And most of you saying I'm liking him cause he's treating me so nicely and that's not flirting that's just being nice, well yea can't say I don't mind being treated like that cause NO I'm not used to it, I've never had a guy open my car door without his mom telling him to do it before we left the garage and seeing a guy go out of his way to walk to my car just to shut a simple door was out of the ordinary for me I've seen guys do it when they're right next to the car, but it wasn't just the car thing he was all his little actions before. I'm done now though these have helped me realize it's not worth it Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 I really think it's sad that you have never had a man go out of his way to do something polite for you without expecting something in return. I guess that's the way the world is these days. My Dad showed me how a woman is to be treated. Again, I'm curious about your relationship with you father. Does he know you have a crush on a 50 year old man? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 OP, here's a suggestion..... if you enjoy hanging out with this guy and his car friends, continue to do so. IME, as a car enthusiast and collector, such interest crosses age and socio-economic boundaries and you may meet other gentleman who are both more blatantly interested and/or more in your age group. You also may find this gentleman to change his mind. Men can do that, just like women can. IMO, expanding your social circle and making more contacts can only bring more opportunities your way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MapleWish Posted September 18, 2014 Author Share Posted September 18, 2014 And nope my dad has no clue, upon turning 22 my dad had stated that he earned the right to have his own life and no longer be concerned with what's going on in mine. So I didn't tell him I like this guy Link to post Share on other sites
Crila16 Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 It so very simple. The guy is not interested in you romantically, but knows you're interested in him. It's extremely flattering to be 50 yrs old and to have a 22 year old chasing you. How great is that for a 50 year old man. There aren't many who can say that. I'm not young, but even I don't want a 50 yr old man. He's flirting and leading you on, just enough to keep you interested, but not enough to lead you on fully. The only reason you're being led on, is because you're over-analyzing it. If this man was really interested in you, you'd know it. We all know when someone is interested in us, and we never ever have to ask. If you're asking, you have your answer. He's a 50 yr old man for crying out loud. He knows exactly how to pursue a woman and how to treat her. He's not shy and he's not confused. He likes the women and likes the attention. That's it in a nutshell. The girl he ends up being interested in, he will let them know. You are not that girl, so if I were you, I'd let it go and find someone more age appropriate for you. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 He's not interested OP. Be grateful he has the dignity and kindness not to lead you on by sleeping with you just to feel a 22 year old against his body. He's doing the decent thing by not even entertaining the idea or giving you signs. Any male I know who is a decent guy does things like open car doors for women or walks them to their door if it's dark. Link to post Share on other sites
isisisweeping Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 He's not interested - maybe not because of you but he sounds a bit of a Lothario and you're in his social circle not just some random waitress or whatever so sex and ditch wouldn't be smart - so he's trying to have you get the hint and move on without a big dramatic conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
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