Is he a backstabber & a traitor? Is this betrayal?

[ll333]

Toodaloo:

Even worse, you now say your intention was to be vile about some poor girl you have never met, know NOTHING about, simply because she dressed up in an outfit for a show.

I think you missed the part in my first message of the thread that said that there was also a picture of her backstage with "A" helping her get dressed. She was wearing only a bra and short-shorts. People who post pics of themselves like that in the internet are attention seekers. Hmmm.... I could have reported the photo to facebook admin instead of writing that nasty comment about her in a message to "A". I admit that I should think more before I act.

 

I'm still a virgin. One of those reasons is because my mother raised me to be conservative. That girl is most likely not a virgin. I want to save sex for marriage although I'm not religious.

 

You accuse me of being a bully. For your information, in the past I was bullied by many people much worse than what I said about that girl in the photos.

Edited September 16, 2014 by ll333

[Blade96]

This is up to J to deal with if you are dating him. If he likes and respects you, and knows you feel weirded out by A flirting with him, he would take steps to reassure you.

 

This is J's problem, not yours.

 

Burt yes, Iwould feelweirded out too. Your friend, A is flirting with YOUR date. It is a betrayal in a way. Real friends are supportive of their friends and their relationships.

[Toodaloo]

I'm a college student soon to be a professional. You may bash me more & accuse me of being immature beyond my years-but my actions were because of my anger.

 

I really feel sorry for your future employers if this is your attitude. What happens when you make a "professional" mistake and your customer takes you to task? Are you going to set up more fake accounts and stalk them and abuse them?

 

As for he comments of "oh she was only wearing a bra" you should have read the Facebook posting rules. She is well within them and I am sure others have posted pictures of themselves on the beach relaxing and having fun in skimpier.

 

I don't think you need to worry about A or J. I think you need to worry about your complete lack of compassion and consideration towards others, your ability to completely over react and abuse innocent people over the internet under a false identity. Those are not the actions of a "normal, moral, good" person.

 

Your virginity or lack there of is quite frankly irreverent. Virginity does not a saint make, nor lack there of a whore make. Ask any Nun.

 

And once again you are making assumptions and accusing some poor girl who you know NOTHING about of doing things or acting in a way based on a dumb picture. If you have indeed been bullied then you didn't learn much from the experience did you? You just can't stop being nasty can you? That is a serious problem.

 

SORT YOUR OWN ISSUES OUT! LEAVE THESE POOR PEOPLE ALONE!

[mightycpa]

I'm a college student soon to be a professional.

Watch out about that word "PROFESSIONAL". A professional is a term that is reserved for a few specialized occupations, and only include those that require passing a rigorous exam by a body of peers, licensure by the state, ongoing continuing education and, most importantly in your case, requires the adherence to a strict, written code of ethics.

 

Many people leave college to become white collar workers thinking they are professionals. But they are not.

 

Because you're still in college, you haven't met the requirements for sitting for whatever exam you might need to take. So, it is doubtful in the extreme that you are "soon to be a professional". Maybe you're going to graduate soon, but that is not how professionals are created.

Edited September 16, 2014 by mightycpa

[evanescentworld]

evanescentworld: What about your own place in the universe? You say I'm insignificant in this universe- but my situation only involves a few other

people, not the whole world. And if I'm insignificant-

then those few people shouldn't be offended by my

comments. And what you said was totally unnecessary & uncalled

for. I didn't say I was anything special. I didn't say that

I'm a celebrity. I''m not an attention seeker. You are

the most offensive of the posters here. I think

I will block you.

 

P.S. I'm not below 20 yrs old. I'm a college student soon to

be a professional. You

may bash me more & accuse me of being immature beyond my years-

but my actions were because of my anger.

If you want to block me, feel free, that is of course your prerogative.

You'll read this anyway, because curiosity will do that.

 

But actually, I have a degree of sympathy for you, because I have not been rude to you, but actually made allowances for the inexperience of your youth...In the great scheme of things, in time, this will be trivial and inconsequential to you, and you will wonder what on earth you became so worked-up about. Right now it's a focus of your attention, but trust me, in a few years when all this is behind you and you will have moved on, both in life and circumstances, you'll wonder why you made such a fuss.

 

When you permit your anger to override logic and rule your head, you will always, unfailingly and without exception, do and say the wrong things.

Anger is a poor foundation from which to operate.

Anger is like buying poison for somebody else, but then drinking it yourself; or hurling a burning coal at your adversary - you will always burn yourself first, and might even miss them altogether.

 

And your anger at posters here, masks the fact that many people are actually giving you very sound, sensible and reasonable advice - but you are so indignant and not finding agreement, and feel so slighted in the way things have turned out, that, rather than take on board what we are trying to tell you, you are turning on us in anger and spite, and casting aside the wisdom we're offering. Remember most of us are certainly older than you, and many may even be old enough to be your parents.

We are not your peers; we are your elders. Been there, done that - learnt the lesson.

 

Listen to what people are telling you, instead of retaliating and acting in such an obstinate way.

Your behaviour needs to improve, and your attitude to others needs modifying.

It's a harsh thing to accept, granted - but if you will, you shall feel better for it.

[preraph]

You're the one who went over there and trolled him about that girl's photo. So you started the ugliness. Don't ever think you're going to get away with some b*tchy crap with a queen!

 

Apparently you don't know J well enough to have even told him about your former friend A, and worrying about him "seeing" some random girl photo on the internet is absurd. You can't control what he looks at on the internet. I guarantee you he's already watching porn and whatever else most guys his age do. Whether you succeed in forming a friendship with J has way more to do with your personality than any random thing on the internet.

[ll333]

Toodaloo:

Even worse, you now say your intention was to be vile about some poor girl you have never met, know NOTHING about, simply because she dressed up in an outfit for a show... WHY??? because you can... This behaviour is that of a bully and today you have discovered that there will always be someone bigger and that bullies don't win.

 

That girl is not as innocent as you think. I just saw her profile pic. It's also risque. It's a photo of her in casual wear and she's not dressed up for a show or pageant. What we wear is a reflection of our character.

 

Here is a link to what her outfit looks like:

 

[ll333]

Update: I just talked to my other cousin yesterday. She said that other people in the neighborhood also accuse "A" of being a traitor to them. Some of these people are his relatives.

[d0nnivain]

While I think the outfit is ugly & tacky, it says nothing about the wearer's character. You can't conclude somebody has low morals based solely on what they wear.

 

If you want all the drama about A to stop, cut A out of your life & pay no more attention to A. Concentrate on having fun with your BF J. If J is happy & in love with you, facebook friends or not, J won't leave you for A or girls who dress like the picture you posted.

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

Your obsession is officially out of control. You are showing pictures of this girl to complete strangers on the Internet and trying to make us hate her. This is not sane behavior. It needs to stop.

 

I'm saying this with as much empathy as I possibly can---a lot of girls are moderately crazy in their late teens and early twenties; it's usually out of your system by 25 or so---but you need to talk to someone. Realize that this isn't healthy. Moreover, it isn't kind. Please see a psychologist and start investigating these hateful feelings.

[ll333]

chimpa: its not my intention to get people to hate her.

I just wanted toodaloo to know that he shouldn't make

me feel guilty for making a harsh comment about

the girl in a private msg to "A".

 

p.s. her face is edited out for privacy- so no harm done

Edited September 20, 2014 by ll333

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

chimpa: its not my intention to get people to hate her.

I just wanted toodaloo to know that he shouldn't make

me feel guilty for making a harsh comment about

the girl in a private msg to "A".

 

p.s. her face is edited out for privacy- so no harm done

 

It's not about identifying her. It's the fact that you think it's appropriate to make cruel anonymous comments to anyone, and to top it off, you're here trying to justify your behavior. I see many people wearing things that I think are ugly, unattractive or trashy. I don't tell them that because I'm not a mean person. Toodaloo is right; you should feel guilty about being cruel.

[ll333]

Other people said that an outfit like that (which exposes

the full midriff) say it garners too much male attention

and its quite "slutty".

 

In the past, my mother criticised me for wearing

something less revealing than that. (for example, when

I showed some cleavage) Now I'm

conservative in the way I dress. But I've never worn

an outfit as revealing as the one in that profile pic I showed.

Edited September 21, 2014 by ll333

[evanescentworld]

That doesn't give you an automatic right to be so scathing and rude about those who choose to.

[d0nnivain]

chimpa: its not my intention to get people to hate her.

I just wanted toodaloo to know that he shouldn't make

me feel guilty for making a harsh comment about

the girl in a private msg to "A".

 

You still don't get it. The fact that you continue to obsess about this woman & about A is a problem. If you want the drama in your life to stop, end your interactions with A in person & on social media. Problem solved.