whodat11 Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 So I recently decided to end things with my girlfriend. Because of GIGS actually, but there's actually some logic behind it. If you're curious, you can check my thread that addresses it: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/493287-been-feeling-gigs-entire-relationship But anyways, once I decided to end things, I planned to make it happen the next time I saw her, which was today. I was ready to make it happen but once I was with her, I simply couldn't do it. I couldn't even try. I see her and I'm content. Nothing wrong and I have a pretty good time when I'm with her. She treats me real sweet and all is well. I dropped her off and was kicking myself because immediately afterwards I was feeling ready to do it again. Does that mean anything or do I just need to ball it out and get it over with? And please, if you really question my reasoning, before you lash out at me, check out the other thread.
Lorelai Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 So I recently decided to end things with my girlfriend. Because of GIGS actually, but there's actually some logic behind it. If you're curious, you can check my thread that addresses it: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/493287-been-feeling-gigs-entire-relationship But anyways, once I decided to end things, I planned to make it happen the next time I saw her, which was today. I was ready to make it happen but once I was with her, I simply couldn't do it. I couldn't even try. I see her and I'm content. Nothing wrong and I have a pretty good time when I'm with her. She treats me real sweet and all is well. I dropped her off and was kicking myself because immediately afterwards I was feeling ready to do it again. Does that mean anything or do I just need to ball it out and get it over with? And please, if you really question my reasoning, before you lash out at me, check out the other thread. I would not recommend doing what I did, and what I feel guilt over, when I could not make myself break up with someone. Now, before I say what I did, I want to say our situations were completely different -- guy had flat-out admitted that he did not love me after a year and a half, could only say he was attracted to me, and only contacted me when he wanted to invite me over. Sure, he bought me things, took me out to dinner when we were together, and treated me like a girlfriend when he saw me, but then he was fine with not speaking for a week, or two, or more. Was fine with not seeing me for more than a month at a time. That does not a girlfriend make, despite him calling me that. ---- But I broke up with him in email. I did it that way because I'd tried to break up with him once before, and we fell into bed together instead. I suspect he tried once before at a restaurant and failed, we nearly wound back up in bed together, took a two week break, and then fell back in bed together when he came over to my house in person to see me to try to break it off yet again. I knew if I saw him, in public I'd not be able to get the words out, and in private, we'd end up screwing. ----- If she really loves you, though, instead of the reverse (the only reason I did it in email anyway -- I had already been assured I wasn't breaking any hearts by the breakup itself, even if doing it in email was tacky as hell), here's what I wish my guy had done for me: Say to her that you really care about her, but not in the way you feel that she deserves to be loved. That you think she's a great person and don't want to lose her, but feel like you're being unfair to her by not loving her the way you wish you did, the way you feel you should. That you want to give her the chance to find a person that she really deserved, and you didn't think that person was you. And then either realize your mistake and see if she'll take you back, or not and give her the chance to find the person who does love her.
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