Author Undertaker Posted March 10, 2005 Author Share Posted March 10, 2005 Well, we talked about everything. I told her that I'm not sure how she feels about everything that happened and maybe she's not even sure either. I said that I'd like to take her out sometime, but if since she just got out of that long relationship...that I'd understand if she needed some time or whatever. She said that she'd has a lot to think about and that we'd see what happens. She mentioned that we could probably hang out sometime but just as friends or whatever, but I didn't really respond to that because I don't really think I can be JUST friends with her...especially not now. I guess maybe I was wrong. I guess she didn't like me as much as I thought, or at least, wanted her to. Link to post Share on other sites
newby Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 i think with the amount of questions you were asking, you already knew that on some level. nevermind, it happens, brush yourself off. learn from this to listen to your intuition better next time. Link to post Share on other sites
MsMree Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 You stated you wanted to take her out then left the ball in her court - Now just give it some time - time will provide the answers you are look'g for - you will definitely know if she wants you or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Undertaker Posted March 14, 2005 Author Share Posted March 14, 2005 Well, we went out the other night...sort of. We took my nephew to see the movie "Robots". Afterwards, we dropped him off at my sister's house and then I took her out to dinner. I made a half-joking comment about if this was our first 'official date' and she said maybe. When I dropped her off, she said "thank you for taking me out to the movie and to dinner" and I said, "of course. anytime". She said, "we'll go out again". I asked her if that would end up being our second official date or our first and she said, she'll let me know. I figure that it's obvious by now that I don't want to be "just friends" with her. So, why would she say "we'll go out again" if she didn't want to go out on a "date" with me? Link to post Share on other sites
WithOrWithoutYou Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 Be careful man, and keep a hold on your heart. I know it is politically incorrect to say, but in my expereince, women who are or have recently been in abusive relationships with other men nearly always go back. There is something about the abusive man's personality that seems to attract them back - and even if they think they are free, often times, they just go back, ditching the rather nice guy who doesn't treat them like dirt in the process. I can't explain it, and I only partially understand it, but it has been my personal experience (being the guy who got left by a formerly abused woman for the abusive man who was her prior relationship), and I have also seen it happen to others. The equivocation about whether going out with you is even a date, and whether the next time will be a date, could just be her being coy, or playing hard to get, but it could also be her thinking about going back to the abusive man again. Just a thought. Be very, very careful. Link to post Share on other sites
MsMree Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 go out again, but it is obvious that you are still being pushy - why does she have to say if it is a "date" at all - Her saying she'll go out again doesn't mean the same to her as it does to you. Even if she knows you like her more than just friends, perhaps she doesn't want to lose your friendship and thinks she will if she doesn't go along w/what you want- AGAIN, RELAX. If you don't, it WILL backfire on you. Link to post Share on other sites
goldy Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 studies on human behaviour show that people never fall in love under pressure. the more free a person is the more they will fall in love. people are more likely to fall in love with unavailabe people. the way to win somebody in the game of love is to make sure that seeing you is pleasure not pressure. dont tell her anything about how you feel. dont ask her what this is between you. she cant say to you that this is a date cos she knows dammwell that is she were to say such a thing you would never forget she said it. you would hold her prisoner of her own words. jeez man, if it doesnt work with this girl sort yourself out for the nxt one. remember that declarations of love or strong like=pressure. give little clues in your behaviour NEVER STATE YOUR FEELINGS. also remember dont make demands, "is this a date?" is a demand its pressure. dont ask why should somebody have to clarify their feelings at such an early stage that they dont yet know what their feelings are. remember you have fallen in love with this girl over the space of a year, for her it is just the begiining. take a deep breath and try to breate new air into this. forget what you have already said and never say it again. dont ask her anything about how she feels about you or whether this is a date or not. dont say anything about how you feel. just have a nice time, make sure she has a nice time try to keep it light. i have been with men who verbally stated they were not expecting anything from me yet continuously told me how they felt about me, itis pressure also it is too easy. be a challenge. it might not be too late. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Undertaker Posted March 14, 2005 Author Share Posted March 14, 2005 I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure she took that 'date' comment as me joking around. But, I think you guys are right in that I should avoid any kind of pressure. I do understand what she's going through & I agree that pressure would not prodcue the result for which I'm looking. I guess we'll have to see what happens. I'll keep everyone updated! Link to post Share on other sites
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