Itspointless Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 Yea Im going to watch a baseball game tonight, he was such a fan. Great man! Sorry for my blathering and I dont mean to sound like such a wuss.....I feel like what happened prohibited me from really grieving his passing. I spent more time pining over her for leaving when I needed her the most that I really didnt properly grieve for him, I was splitting between the two. How f'ed up...and the fact that this bitch is STILL in my head just adds to it and gets me pissed for allowing it all not only then but even more so now recently. No man, I find it natural that it takes time. I it is 16 years that my mom passed away due to a very destructive illness. Life definitely gets better, but I still have my moments that I can really feel sad at the weirdest moments. And we unfortunately all make mistakes in life, but we always have the importunately to learn from it. You could not have foreseen this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JunkYardDog Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 Thought I would chime in with an update and further reasoning why you should never, ever get back with someone who has purposely manipulated, used and hurt you, especially when they are literally crazy. A couple weeks after my last post here in Sept, I was walking to my car after work when her son jumped out from hiding behind a car parked next to me yelling, screaming and cussing at me saying hes going to teach me a lesson for the way i treated his mom and family. I told him to leave before he gets hurt (hes 18, Im 49, hes 5'10-140 Im 6'4 200) he didnt listen. Before I knew it he jumped on my back and tried to choke me out. I peeled his arms from me and gave him one last warning while his gf was screaming from her car calling me a "f'ing woman beater". Apparently the EX smeared me making up complete lies saying that I was the one who assaulted her. I never touched her and here it was 4 weeks later after NC and her son was assaulting me. Well, the store next door caught it all on tape and the owner came out and called the police. He ended up in jail the next day. Still, the experience was traumatic for me. The whole thing, 4 years of mental, sexual, emotional and the topper.....physical by both her and now her son. It has sent me into a real heavy PTSD type of depression that I am now just barely starting to come out of. I do say barely. Its real tough as she lives down the street and the reminders are everywhere let alone the hyper viligance I have now. I know I made a huge mistake getting back with her but no one ever deserves to be treated the way I was. Getting back was wrong for me to do but it does not in any way justify what happened to me. Although my case was extreme, I just want to let people know who are pinning for and wanting to get back with their ex that it is the worst thing you can ever do. Please dont. Its ruined my confidence, esteem, life and hope but I wont let it destroy me. Theres a lot of work to be done by me for even letting someone like her into my life for so long and I know that. Now come the rebuilding of myself, my life and my dreams. Stay strong people, do not give in to someone that has proven to you already who they really are. Never go back, or you will be sorry, guaranteed. Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I find your post to speak the truth and I'm sorry for what you've been through but glad that you posted such sound advice. My ex has come back you could say. But I'm over it. Thanks for pointing me on the right track, brother. When you're feeling at your worst just know your words and experience made a positive and real difference in my life. Thanks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michael 93 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 This story makes you realise just how lucky some of us are. horrific is all I can really say. You are extremely strong and I'm sure you don't need us to tell you. You can do so much better. If you can love this girl that much, Imagine how much you will love the right one. Mike Link to post Share on other sites
Author JunkYardDog Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 I find your post to speak the truth and I'm sorry for what you've been through but glad that you posted such sound advice. My ex has come back you could say. But I'm over it. Thanks for pointing me on the right track, brother. When you're feeling at your worst just know your words and experience made a positive and real difference in my life. Thanks. SIH, Thank you, that means a lot. Although my struggles with this are still ongoing, it is so gratifying to hear that I made an impact for someone. For any good whatsoever to come out of it is an affirmation. Link to post Share on other sites
hurts2death Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 hey jankyarddog i am sorry to listen what happened to you. this feeling of abandonment i felt it too. i feels like your loved one left you in the dark sea alone.....and you keep going to the botom. but just hang in there , keep no contact. i promise new days ahaid are comming. are colourfull. wish the best and please please stay nc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JunkYardDog Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 This story makes you realise just how lucky some of us are. horrific is all I can really say. You are extremely strong and I'm sure you don't need us to tell you. You can do so much better. If you can love this girl that much, Imagine how much you will love the right one. Mike Thank you Mike, I dont know if it is strength, at this point I just dont have a choice. A friend told me the same thing, that we only get what we can handle and that I must be superman. No, not even close, Im super stupid is how I feel. I would trade it all for never having to go through it. Im horrified of ever finding myself in a situation like this again. I literally feel stripped down to the core, naked, empty and afraid. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JunkYardDog Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 hey jankyarddog i am sorry to listen what happened to you. this feeling of abandonment i felt it too. i feels like your loved one left you in the dark sea alone.....and you keep going to the botom. but just hang in there , keep no contact. i promise new days ahaid are comming. are colourfull. wish the best and please please stay nc. Thank you so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 SIH, Thank you, that means a lot. Although my struggles with this are still ongoing, it is so gratifying to hear that I made an impact for someone. For any good whatsoever to come out of it is an affirmation. With everything you write you show that you are a good and sensitive man who is capable of truly loving someone. I don't know why but often the good people are beaten the hardest in this world. I know it is hard but don't change, the world needs people like you as people like you are often are the silent source of harmony. I am sure that at a certain point you will find a moment and place to be happy again where other great people will pass you and recognize that. I advice you in trying to remember the good times with your ex. You know now that she also has other sides too, never forget that. But also never forget the moments you were happy as those moments of happiness are worth something in themselves. It is sad that some people need to be like your ex to compensate, or have to be like my ex who is unconsciously being guided by her fears and depriving herself of many good things in life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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