online dating woes: why would they block me after reading these e-mails?

[Eddy Street]

Generally women my age have a ton of experience and probably want someone experienced.

 

That is a point. However, personally I would never go as low as 21. I really can't tell the difference between 17 and 21, tbqh.

[Eddy Street]

Can somebody comment on my new profile picture? It's my new avatar. It's not as clear here as it is on match, but I'm basically looking to the side (my eyes are not looking at the camera) and I'm smiling rather playfully, like a youth I guess. Maybe that's the problem? I look to immature in the pic?

[FitChick]

You are really limiting yourself with your age preference. You sound mature in your profile which would scare off younger women, most of whom like party boys. Women in their early thirties aren't 'old' and many are still gorgeous. They are looking for someone settled in a career. I bet that many beautiful women you pass on the street or see in shops are in their early thirties or older but you just don't know it. If you struck up a conversation and felt attracted I doubt age would be a factor.

 

I dare you to put your upper age range to 33 and see what happens. You will probably be able to pick and choose among many great women.

 

I wonder how you act on a first date.

[hellon]

AND also older women who are single are probably single for a reason. There may be some instability there and lots of baggage at any rate.

 

... Yikes. OP, you may not mean to offend, but you're kinda digging yourself a hole with this one.

 

First of all: Yes. Older women are single for a reason. Anyone who is single is single for a reason. These reasons may be "instability," but they may just as likely be things like: being career focused in their 20's, having had long term relationships that just didn't work out, being as equally content while single as in a relationship, and just not having met the right person yet.

 

Second of all: You mentioned that you haven't had a relationship in 6 years, and suffered from depression. You think this isn't baggage? If you're expecting to find someone who accepts you, who has none of their own so-called "baggage," you may want to seriously re-evaluate your expectations.

[Anela]

The red flag must be my photo. I'm just afraid I look to general or generic or bland, like soapy water. I've seriously considered using make up to highlight some of my features.

 

---

 

Anyway, I apologize if my other thread (the one about attracting older women) offended anyone. I made it out of frustration, my original idea was to put that I wanted to change my sexual orientation, but that seemed too extreme. Anyway, it should probably be deleted.

 

That being said, there is nothing wrong with women in their mid to late 39s, just that the sexual attraction probably wouldn't be there. This is important because at my I still have a nagging libido.

 

AND also older women who are single are probably single for a reason. There may be some instability there and lots of baggage at any rate.

 

Thanks for the apology, but the same could be said about anyone, of any age. I wouldn't be single right now, if I'd accepted the advances of a guy who was crushing on me, when he was in another relationship. I wasn't attracted to him.

[guest569]

Bit hypocritical to say that "older" women, (cause 29 and up is somehow "old") That they're single for a reason, as though they are defective if they're still on the market after they turn 29???

 

And only wanting women with certain eye and hair colours, well that is fussy and would put most women off. I dont think a 28 yr old would want to date you knowing that they will expire in a year.

[jay1983]

SOME women. SOME.

 

Funny how some men can't help but see all women as one large, scary/evil/manipulative entity.

 

He's messaged 80% of the women on there.

[jay1983]

Eddy try thing with the pics of a good looking man and send out the same type of long messages. Just to see if it's the messages or the profile.

[Eddy Street]

Eddy try thing with the pics of a good looking man and send out the same type of long messages. Just to see if it's the messages or the profile.

 

I wish I could but match won't let me now that the editors know what I look like, I'll have to create a totally new profile and subscribe again...

[Mysterio]

U r not creepy. It's just the nature of OLD is rough. It's basically a physical attraction thing. U can write long or short. The main thing is if u match their PA requirement.

[Eddy Street]

U r not creepy. It's just the nature of OLD is rough. It's basically a physical attraction thing. U can write long or short. The main thing is if u match their PA requirement.

 

That's how it is for me, wouldn't make sense for women to be different. I guess there's nothing I can do, I just have a set of features that aren't necessarily ugly, just not attractive to 99.999 percent of women

[Mysterio]

Eddy. After a while, the looks thing gets put to the back of the bus. The hoe u treat each other gets to the fore front.

 

I really believe that the universe provides for us. It's not like u and I and others, have been in the dating game for yrs. We r 90 something and have had nothing.

 

For me personally things go my way when I am not pushing for a love match. Not when I am on the hunt.

[jay1983]

That's how it is for me, wouldn't make sense for women to be different. I guess there's nothing I can do, I just have a set of features that aren't necessarily ugly, just not attractive to 99.999 percent of women

 

How attractive are the women you've been messaging? Are you picking out the really stunning ones?

[Eddy Street]

How attractive are the women you've been messaging? Are you picking out the really stunning ones?

 

Nah, I find the mainstream attractive to be rather repulsive. I've been writing to the ones with a sort of rustic beauty, homely but cute. Think Abbie Cornish.

[KaliLove]

Is your profile picture you? If it is..you're cute! Not ugly in the slightest.

 

I do think your initial long emails came off as a bit creepy..just too eager..kinda desperate. Keep it short but sweet. Show that you've read the profile but don't spend too much time on contact.

[Zapbasket]

Yeah, I guess. I'm not very photogenic. Maybe, since this is the kind of sh? I've been writing since mid July and have gotten a grand total of ZERO replies, I should just put up photos of some good looking guy to troll the hell out of that site. I've written to pretty much 80% of the women on that site, it just won't happen, not today and not a year from now. I payed 270 for it, I might as well have some fun, no?

 

Okay, NOTHING is wrong with your replies. In fact, I wish more guys took the time to really look through your profile. Those are great replies.

 

So that brings us to your photos. You say you're not photogenic. I'll bet you are more photogenic than you think you are. So then it goes to the quality of the photos themselves. Is your profile photo blurry? Scrap it; it looks like you're trying to hide something. Scrap any photo that is a selfie of you in your bathroom mirror or in your car. I don't want to see some dude's bathroom and when the toilet is in the background to boot, that's just . Do you have any photos of you with girls at your side, or, worst of all, one woman clearly cut out of the photo, but only partially so that there's a wisp of long blond hair, say, over your shoulder? That's not classy; scrap that photo. Are you unshaven, wearing a ball cap and scroungy t-shirt? Scrap that one.

 

Your profile photo should show you in a natural pose, and should just be YOU. Not you on a snowboard, or you holding a fish, or you in front of your ATV, or God forbid, you holding a beer or just generally looking like a douche. Just you, from head to shoulders. You should be looking at the camera and flashing a great smile, if smiling comes naturally to you, or just looking pleasant. Not scowling and for God's sake not sticking out your tongue (that doesn't make you look like you have a sense of humor; it makes you look like a man-child with a potential attitude problem and if on top of it you haven't utilized the tongue scraper for a while, :sick::sick:).

 

Likewise if you are loaded with tattoos, display them in a picture less prominent on your profile. NOT in your main profile photo. Too many tattoos earns an instant delete from me, because a) I plain find it unattractive and b) hasty-judgment though it may be, the odds that someone with arms, neck, torso covered in tattoos and I are going to have values in common are too minimal for me to waste time engaging in a conversation.

 

I can only speak for myself, but I do block guys who strike me as overly scruffy or ugly because that's just not something I'm going to get past, no matter how thoughtful their message. That said, typically first messages aren't nearly as thoughtful and well-composed as yours are. I might take a second look if someone wrote such a nice email, even if they are highly unattractive to me. Probably I'd take the time to reply, hopefully with something at least partially true, like, "You live too far away!" or some such.

 

You should eschew the ball cap in your profile photo and wear a button-down shirt, even just a casual one. Looking cleaned up shows self-respect and the potential to in turn be respectful of your date / girlfriend.

 

Even if you ARE unattractive as far as general standards of attractiveness go, I assure you that any man can look appealing if he makes some effort in his profile photo along the lines I mention.

[iiiii]

That's how it is for me, wouldn't make sense for women to be different. I guess there's nothing I can do, I just have a set of features that aren't necessarily ugly, just not attractive to 99.999 percent of women

 

I think you're kind of cute in that photo. The messages might have turned me off, though, because they were a little long winded and intense.

 

I agree with widening your age range, and your other physical criteria, as far as you feel you can. If you think you might be able to be attracted to the occasional woman 2 years older than you, why exclude them all from your search? If you go on a date and don't like them - easy - you can just not ask them on a second date.