Any other guy experince this?

[you_can_not_see_me]

On top of what was said about "average" women perceiving the OP as approaching them in a certain way, I believe that a lot of "attractive" people are VERY insecure...often more insecure than "average" people. Worst, they actively seek constant reassurance of their looks and even go to extremes (i.e. plastic surgery) to preserve their looks.

that makes zero sense in the context of what I said. insecurity in attractive women makes them more open and friendly when approached?! I d say the exact opposite is true, if someone is secure they have an easier time showing a liking towards other people, but if someone is insecure they are more likely to act introverted and unfriendly.

[Ninjainpajamas]

I have noticed that I have a harder time attracting average looking girls than I do attractive girls, and it ****s with my brain how this is possible?

 

The worst rejection (meaning the most hostile) I ever received was from a girl who was barely average looking, and there have been other cases where meh looking girls were quick to give me the cold shoulder. Yet I have had much better luck with attractive women, even when it comes to randomly locking eyes with a girl attractive girls have consistently been more flirting and inviting towards me.

 

 

What the hell is up with that? any other guy deal with this?

 

I get what you're saying, but for myself It's not about judgement it's more of an observation and based on your other replies we're on different sides of things...but I actually do experience this and have recognized it for myself.

 

I'm much more confident in an objectively, more attractive woman reciprocating interest rather than an "average" looking woman or woman I don't find that attractive personally (assuming there has been no prior interaction) showing an interest in me, if even feeling rejected by a bit...and it's often simply because based on my experience, attraction tends to be far more reciprocated under those circumstances for reasons I can't explain, as it's not a conscience choice...although I feel at times those women are more objectively better looking than I am...so it's not a matter of feeling entitled or being full of myself or something along those lines, I'm not the greatest looking guy around.

 

But rather than just the physicality of it all, If I feel the chemistry and mutual interest is there, I'm like a cat in an alley when another cat enters the same alley with the back arched and the tail puffed, It's a completely different behavior for myself that I can't control...and when those eyes lock and that light flicks on it's just there and I just feel it from the very beginning. Socially, I just don't often experience that light switch affect with "average" looking women and it feels mutual from as far as I can tell.

 

But trying to think what I may be doing to cause this; when I am not that interested in someone whether it be to low attraction or overall interest/desirability, motivation is very low, so is effort and my attention is much more forced, so maybe that shows or maybe I just feel their interest is low as well, It's perfectly reasonable they aren't just interested in me plain and simple...even though I try to hold interest for a while before I make a judgment, my body is already kind of deciding for me...because I'm definitely not saying average women are not attractive, it's just odd to notice that when there is no chemistry, they tend to be less interested than the women I feel are more attractive, even considerably so objectively speaking.

Edited August 21, 2014 by Ninjainpajamas

[ascendotum]

This is spot on. I have a boyfriend but I enjoy the ego boost when I get hit on and it makes me feel like I still "got it". But I don't understand this offense that some people take to "unattractive people" daring to hit on them. It takes nothing away from you as a person. Physically I know I am probably considered above average in the looks department and it happens to me every day. There is a homeless man near my house who tells me he is going to marry me. I don't go home and suddenly think there is something wrong with me.

 

I think it does take away when it comes to insecure women.

I've experience the same as the OP and have heard other guys complain of the same thing. I think a few here have touched on the reasons. It is hard to know for sure what is going on in their mind. I think this self esteem aspect is the bigger aspect. The OP does not say if he considers himself especially more so attractive than these average women. Likely he is avg guy trying to chat up avg women. I'd say these avg women like to think they are a bit better than avg. I especially got the attitude in clubs/bars. as a skinny avg guy trying to chat to avg slim/skinny/petite women (esp past early 20s) . In an over weight country these women get bonus points for their figure. A lot of guys will drop their standards a fair bit to have nsa sex with them. I do think these women can build up an attitude that they are hotter than they are as a result but also in conflict with the fact that they really aren't when they look at other girls/mirror + none of the hotter guys stuck around.

 

I've been told outright by a few "Ive ****ed / can **** way better than you". lol. Attitude like I'm approaching them with a copy of the bible + watchtower in my hand and trying to sell them jehovah. I don't get the same attitude from more attractive women. I guess part of that is the fact that more attractive women are more content with their beauty and their success in getting what they want in relationships. Also I guess because I had got shot down by plenty of skinny/slim average women I would not expect to luck out with a very pretty one, so I talked to them without trying to pick them up...I'm more relaxed plus maybe they feel that plus they have lots of experience deflecting guys (as someone else said) or are more confident in themselves so don't get the mind f*** 'woah this guy thinks he's in my league omg'. IDK. Not that I did any better chatting to beautiful women, but % wise there was less attitude. When I wasn't skinny, this dynamic wasn't so noticeable.

[letmoc]

I think it does take away when it comes to insecure women.

 

You're right I should have said it shouldn't take away from you as a person, meaning that you should not let it. The more secure you are as a person the less things like that or what other people think of you, bother you.