WesternWizard Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 In the dating world, don't you all agree that "looks" or attraction will always be the first thing that will be a deciding factor on whether they want to strike up a conversation with them and possibly land a few dates? I'm starting to think that whenever I go out in public, whether it be to the store, market, park, that I should always look my best and never leave the house without make-up because I will never know if there is going to be a guy on the look-out. Isn't it true that the only reason why a guy is interested in talking to a girl is because they thought she was "cute?" I was reading this guys facebook post on how he saw a cute girl at the farmers market and he decided to strike up a conversation...and it made me think that I must be ugly, because all those times that I went out in public places where there were guys, no guys would ever strike up a conversation with me for anything. And I'm talking about dating sites, I'm talking about real life. Do I need more sex appeal? Because looking like plain jane, isn't getting me anywhere. I'd beg to differ. At all the speed dating events I've been to, it's been the men who dress like they're going to meet the Queen of England. Some of the women OTOH showed up dressed like out-and-out slobs. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Well, thousands of men flirt with me even when I leave the house wearing a suit of armor covered in rotten egg paste. I'm soooooooooooo hot that I don't even need to wear clothes out to get flirted with constantly Link to post Share on other sites
Supernatural Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Yes and yes. Yes you should put some effort in your appearance as it does pay dividends in terms of attracting men. But also out effort into your appearance so that you have confidence. A woman who owns her appearance and radiates confidence is a very attractive thing. I know personally I've approached women in their post workout attire (and sweat) because they radiated some sort of confident beauty while ignoring women dressed to the nines but obviously uncomfortable with their appearance. Overall - I guess the most important advice I could give any woman or guy for that matter is to get in shape and become physically active. That doesn't mean become a gym rat. Rather, just running or Pilates or even yoga a few times a week boosts confidence and that intangible attraction about them. *Starts sipping protein shake* Link to post Share on other sites
isisisweeping Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 That said, it's best not to get caught looking like hell if your natural appearance is greatly enhanced by makeup as mine is. . See I look relatively better without makeup than I do with makeup. (Ie, if you take 5 girls all not made up I will fare better than if you have makeup on all of us.) The guys I attract do tend to have strong preferences against makeup (I've been on three dates in the last couple weeks where they specifically requested no makeup.) on women, which might be why they like me and approach me verse women who definitely look waaaay better than I do but wear makeup. Link to post Share on other sites
Supernatural Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Us men, prefer no make-up. Why you ask? Sit down. Because we have all seen the seemingly "hot babe" after jumping in the pool. Then come out a different person. Every man has seen the horror. I had PTSD for a year. Make up babe after a shower... "Who are you??" Make up babe after sweaty workout.... "Who are YOU??" Make up babe after water skiing... "WHO are YOU??" Make up babe after sex... "WHO ARE YOU??" Me after realizing all the above and dumping her.... *logs on to LoveShack and makes thread* "So I just went on a first date, Is she interested in me?" 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 As someone already pointed out, some women dress like slobs. What is dressing like "plain jane" to you and what is "dressing up"? You should dress well, at all times. Even when you're just going to Home depot to buy manure for your little garden. How you dress is just a habit you got use to, it's not really who you are. Dressing better than what you normally do is not you not being you. You can dress casually and look good. Many men and some women though, dress like slobs and think they are just being casual. T-shirt and jeans? Some people will look like slobs in it and some people don't and it's mostly because of fitment and material. Dressing well does not have to mean you "dress to the nines..". 3 Link to post Share on other sites
D.Mc. Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Hi Lipitor, My last two days of school, I went in wearing slinky, animal print maxi dresses, hair down, lipstick & heels (I forgot to ask someone to take a picture...for my OLD profile dammit). Completely opposite of jeans/tshirt I normally wear on school nights. Got no comments from any men, & this is with a roundtrip through the NYC subway too. I kept my head up & was looking, so I would have noticed. Only two female classmates & a female teacher said I looked nice... Either men will notice & approach you or they won't approach you, even if they notice, for whatever reason. Dress to make yourself happy with how you look in the mirror. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 As someone already pointed out, some women dress like slobs. What is dressing like "plain jane" to you and what is "dressing up"? You should dress well, at all times. Even when you're just going to Home depot to buy manure for your little garden. How you dress is just a habit you got use to, it's not really who you are. Dressing better than what you normally do is not you not being you. You can dress casually and look good. Many men and some women though, dress like slobs and think they are just being casual. T-shirt and jeans? Some people will look like slobs in it and some people don't and it's mostly because of fitment and material. Dressing well does not have to mean you "dress to the nines..". yeah, i think this is the point. Those of us (well I will speak for myself) who say to dress well--it still means in context. At gym in gym clothes, just before or after gym in the same, in t-shirt look at home depot, etc etc. There is the sloppy version and the i-care-about-myself-and-know-what's-up look. I think an interesting exercise is to just sit someplace (like a starbucks or something) and watch for a while who comes in and out. Look at your competition--other girls. Ask yourself if you were a guy who would you be drawn to and why. Also it usually comes down to polished grooming. Also there have been studies done where of course guys say they like a natural look but a touch of makeup that enhances is what they pick in photos by comparison. Like no-makeup makeup. Tinted moisturizer, touch of mascara, tinted lip balm. In any case, be the best YOU whatever that is. No one is saying don't be yourself. I could go on forever about this subject. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I have a female friend that's somewhat attractive, but when she goes out and run errands, she never puts on make-up and goes out in sandles, very casual. Her college-aged daughter goes, "You're not going out of the house looking like THAT are you?" Her mom was like , "huh?" Her daughter said, "Put on some make up and put in a nice dress...because you never know where you might run into a man." Kind of like being a Boy Scout always "Be Prepared!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
isisisweeping Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 That's bizarre. Very bizarre.. You had three Guys, none of which are your boyfriend in a period of 2 weeks specifically request no make up.!!?? I can't imagine requesting this or any of my friends requesting it. They might bring it up with their girlfriend but it sure wouldn't be a specific request...and never of just a woman we had a casual date with. *shrug* I don't mind. It came up in the course of conversation. I prefer guys who are very upfront about what they like. Link to post Share on other sites
readynow Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Before I step out of the house, I ask myself the following questions. Do I look good enough to : 1. Run into that 'popular' bitch in school (25yrs ago) 2. Run into any of my ex-boyfriends - including the one who cheated 3. Run into my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend or hot wife 4. Run into my son's teachers. If I can look good enough for those, then I look good enough for any new man:p 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 In the dating world, don't you all agree that "looks" or attraction will always be the first thing that will be a deciding factor on whether they want to strike up a conversation with them and possibly land a few dates? I'm starting to think that whenever I go out in public, whether it be to the store, market, park, that I should always look my best and never leave the house without make-up because I will never know if there is going to be a guy on the look-out. Isn't it true that the only reason why a guy is interested in talking to a girl is because they thought she was "cute?" I was reading this guys facebook post on how he saw a cute girl at the farmers market and he decided to strike up a conversation...and it made me think that I must be ugly, because all those times that I went out in public places where there were guys, no guys would ever strike up a conversation with me for anything. And I'm talking about dating sites, I'm talking about real life. Do I need more sex appeal? Because looking like plain jane, isn't getting me anywhere. Double edged sword. If you go out looking like you rolled out of bed, put your hair up, guys wont double take you but you will seem more approachable. If you go out looking all dolled up all the time some guys might be too nervous to approach you (although cocky jerks never worry about this). There was an article about "Why you are still single in your 30s in New York" or something to that effect. The author (a woman) had some good points that rang true to me. I prefer a girl that I'm with to look good on my arm. At this point in my life I wouldn't even approach a girl that I didn't think would fulfill this need. That means no fat chicks, no ugly women, no women who dont dress nice. Some tips from the article were these: - Ditch the black pants shirts etc. Men like a woman in brighter colors, floral patterns, feminine outfits. - Look your best when you go out of the house all the time. You never know when you'll meet some nice guy who will approach you. It could be in the supermarket or in an elevator or waiting in line for the bathroom. - Smile and be friendly. Too many women walk around looking pissed off at the world. (I've personally approached women who gave me a bitch face when I was just being friendly and nice; the situation didn't leave me feeling like a jerk, it left me feeling she was a bitch I had no interest in ever talking to again) - Get your face out of your smartphone. (I can personally attest to this because there's been quite a number of girls I wanted to approach but I didn't want to interrupt whatever they were doing. They never got their face out of their phone so I never approached them) - Go out alone. Guys know they can't break apart two women and three women together can be intimidating. A lone woman sitting in the park is approachable. - Watch your figure. Yes you want someone to accept you just as you are. But if a short, fat, bald, greasy man in track pants who smelled like he didn't shower in a week approached you, would you just "accept him as he is"? --- 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 . Also it usually comes down to polished grooming. Also there have been studies done where of course guys say they like a natural look but a touch of makeup that enhances is what they pick in photos by comparison. Like no-makeup makeup. Tinted moisturizer, touch of mascara, tinted lip balm. In any case, be the best YOU whatever that is. No one is saying don't be yourself.: Bango. I am dating this 25 year old girl right now and she has a super hot body, she looks hot even when wearing my old soccer shorts and one of my sports shirts with no makeup on and hasnt showered in days. But when she gets out of the shower, prunes her eyebrows and puts on just a touch of makeup and some tinted lip gloss I can't stop staring at her and complimenting her. Link to post Share on other sites
ExposedBrick Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 OP, I recommend reading this article: Being Beautiful or Handsome is Easier Than You Think! | Psychology Today I think looking your best changes depending on what you are doing. However, paying attention to your grooming, wearing flattering clothing, and keeping yourself healthy(not necessarily skinny) are universally attractive features. They will give you confidence, regardless of your personal style. You don't have to necessarily spend a lot of money either. I'd spend a little time looking at clothing websites and reading some style articles on how to flatter your body type. A little time could take you from an average Jane to a hot commodity. Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 In the dating world, don't you all agree that "looks" or attraction will always be the first thing that will be a deciding factor on whether they want to strike up a conversation with them and possibly land a few dates? Yes. I'm starting to think that whenever I go out in public, whether it be to the store, market, park, that I should always look my best and never leave the house without make-up because I will never know if there is going to be a guy on the look-out. Girls that do this are so obviously fake, it's hilarious. (Maybe that's just me.) Isn't it true that the only reason why a guy is interested in talking to a girl is because they thought she was "cute?" Depends how you meet. If you're in the same class then you know you have mutual interests; if you're at the same bar drinking the same beer then you know you have similar tastes; if you're both in the spinning class you know you both have fitness interests... and so on. Very rarely is appearance the only thing that matters. I was reading this guys facebook post on how he saw a cute girl at the farmers market and he decided to strike up a conversation...and it made me think that I must be ugly, because all those times that I went out in public places where there were guys, no guys would ever strike up a conversation with me for anything. And I'm talking about dating sites, I'm talking about real life. Do I need more sex appeal? Because looking like plain jane, isn't getting me anywhere. And what came of that conversation? Are they dating? Married? Seeing each other on Friday? Why are you measuring your worth based on what someone says they did on Facebook? Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 Before I step out of the house, I ask myself the following questions. Do I look good enough to : 1. Run into that 'popular' bitch in school (25yrs ago) 2. Run into any of my ex-boyfriends - including the one who cheated 3. Run into my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend or hot wife 4. Run into my son's teachers. If I can look good enough for those, then I look good enough for any new man:p ^ This is just sick. Seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 yes, the bright colors is also another fact from studies. As well as hair down. It's biology-driven that's what turns the majority of guys' heads--so why fight it! I think that girls who fight it and say I just want someone who likes me the way I am--when they mean "no effort" into looks is narrowing the field of who is attracted to them. If you want an amazing guy across a variety of areas, you also have to present yourself as amazing. Like attracts like. Also you can convey what type of person you are through how you dress and do your hair, which are clues guys (and people) look for to decide if you are someone they can see dating (or befriend). Simple, more on casual side, very into fashion, conservative, playful, and so on and so forth. I think there's a difference between being well-dressed and being ridiculously over-dressed in the wrong place and trying to get attention the wrong way. I just saw a girl tonight in line at a store; dressed like she was going to a club, heels, tight/short dress and that's the opposite side of spectrum of wrong. All that does it bring wrong attention because the outfit is out of place. Another fact from a study: dressed like that you may get asked out but guys are less likely to think of you as gf or marriage material. While I don't recommend doing this either, you will get some attention vs. being ignored which is what being sloppy or minimizing yourself through your clothes etc will do. Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 yes, the bright colors is also another fact from studies. As well as hair down. It's biology-driven that's what turns the majority of guys' heads--so why fight it! Last girl I asked out was wearing pumps, a leopard print one peice dress that went halfway down the thigh with her hair down and just a tich of makeup with tinted lip gloss wearing girls' aviator sunglasses. Spent 22 of the last 30 days with her. Link to post Share on other sites
isisisweeping Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 . Another fact from a study: . Hey, could you kindly cite these studies to which you're referring? What journal were they published in? Link to post Share on other sites
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