Author Rainydayz4ever Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Oh and also I forgot to say thanks to everybody has instructed me to leave her. Even though I can't take that advice at this time it does make me feel better know what other people might do in this situation and also makes me feel better for wanting to leave. So thanks for reading and offering advice to help me through this. I also agree that u can't learn everything from books but it can't hurt. Everything I've tried has failed thus far until I started reading about that crap from athol and others. I feel at one point I was a perfect balance of both alpha/beta but then slowly lost all beta and grew resentment, then lost all good alpha qualities as well leaving me just being a prick (unaware at the time). I also got turned into a fat ugly alcoholic maid in the process and began to be rejected by all woman making everything going on in my relationship amplified. I'm not sure any woman can even imagine what this feels like inside. The pain and hurt and resentment towards woman as a whole is unbearable when nobody wants you. Not even your wife. Whom u invest all Ur time (weather she's responsive or not). It feels like FAILURE. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rainydayz4ever Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 He can still maintain a relationship and father-child bond and support children from another home and living another life with another woman that desires him and has a full-service relationship with him. His wife needs to understand that and step up to the plate if she wants him in the same house. No other man in the world would have her or support her or her children if she wasn't sexually responsive to him so why should the OP settle for that???? With a child and one on the way, he time to ignore and neglect him has passed. In therapy this was discussed and she was made aware of it by the therapist but unfortunately it was regarding work. The therapist was not concerned with my sex life at that time though. She thoroughly explained unless she finds a sugar daddy she gotta work and will have to work with or without me. End of story. This also supports the not cheating theory. Although I do everything for her, we are just getting by. She could easily leave me for a dr and have everything she wants. I have no $$$ we live in a dump. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 It's unfortunate that some people can't get over a real and true description of what sex has been like for me for the past 3 years and prior (what little I had anyway). I apologized for my bluntness already, twice I believe. But it was accurate, and obviously did the trick if people are uncomfortable reading it. How did u think I felt during all this. Many times when the scenario that's described the first post was playing out I would eventually withdraw unfinished to curl up and cry. Then she would get mad and tell me to just do it. Yadada yada. So why the hell did you impregnate her 9 weeks ago? Why bring a child into your crapfest of a marriage? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 In therapy this was discussed and she was made aware of it by the therapist but unfortunately it was regarding work. The therapist was not concerned with my sex life at that time though. She thoroughly explained unless she finds a sugar daddy she gotta work and will have to work with or without me. End of story. This also supports the not cheating theory. Although I do everything for her, we are just getting by. She could easily leave me for a dr and have everything she wants. I have no $$$ we live in a dump. If she were to leave you for a Dr, he will expect a sex life with her and will leave her if she does not provide it. My point is why should it be any different with you? Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 oh yikes, don't read books based on pick up artist crap. When I first started reading about alphas and betas here I thought it was a joke. To my horror, people take this stuff seriously. I don't know - maybe it will work on your wife. But that doesn't say something good about either the person it's working on or the one who's working her! Athol Kay's books and website are not Pick Up Artist materials. His emphasis is on healthy, faithful, monogamous marriages that also include a vigorous and satisfying Sexlife for both parties. In order for a wife to be sexually attracted and responsive to her husband, he must possess a number of sexually attractive traits and characteristics. A lot of men had those traits when they were young and single and dating, but let then slide after years of marriage and child rearing. Married Man Sexlife is about getting getting your sexy back so your wife will want to have sex with you again. It's not about picking up and scoring with chicks in bars. ......although many of those same traits and characteristics apply to both scenarios. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 How can someone deny a divorce? And you just said "ok I take it back"? Something stinks here.... Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 RainyDay, here are a few other thoughts in no particular order - - it sounds like you have kept your eyes open in regards to cheating and she probably isn't actively cheating with anyone specific at this time. You do need to realize however that married women cheating have a completely different paradym than single women dating and looking for a mate. A married cheating woman only needs a guy she finds sexy, a willing participant (which basically means every man with a pulse if she under 200 lbs) and a discrete place and 5 minutes. Married women don't need wining and dining and walks on the beach discussing life dreams and future plans. A married woman has all her domestic, social and security needs met. If all she wants is a penis, there are 3billion of them willing to accommodate her at the drop of a hat. A flirt or a wink or an off-the-cuff comment is all that is needed to set that ball in motion. - I highly urge to register and tell your story on the forums at MMSL. Your situation is exactly their forte and the exact situation that they deal in day in and day out. They have a very step by step formula and nuts and bolts game plan that they use with great success. They will be able to advise more specific strategies and tactics than the boards here. - you also need to be aware that if you are unwilling and/or unwilling to walk away and divorce, all your other efforts may be in vain. If she knows way deep down that you will never leave her, then she has no real reason to change. Your ultimate goal and ultimate success is for her to 'want' to have sex with you but if she is basically lazy and neglectful, she has no reason to change if she knows that you continue to be the perfect maid and nanny regardless if she continues to neglect your needs. - everyone has childhood traumas and hardships in their life and everyone has body image issues and insecurities to one degre or another and none of them relieves their need to take care of their spouse. No other guy would sign up to live a sexless life with her even though she had a difficult childhood, there's no reason for you to tolerate it either. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts