I Thought Everything Was Going Well...Then This...

[fred123]

right OP is selfish. and hypocritical

 

why? well lets change things. guy hooked up with previous girl in social circle. he invites OP out to hang all time with them and girl he hooked up with is hot. he even hid it from her and she found out from someone else

and yet he keeps inviting OP to hang out with past girls hes ****ed.

 

how u feel now OP? the equivalent of emasculated?

 

pfft at u

[overthemoon86]

right OP is selfish. and hypocritical

 

why? well lets change things. guy hooked up with previous girl in social circle. he invites OP out to hang all time with them and girl he hooked up with is hot. he even hid it from her and she found out from someone else

and yet he keeps inviting OP to hang out with past girls hes ****ed.

 

how u feel now OP? the equivalent of emasculated?

 

pfft at u

 

I wasn't even going to dignify I response to you, but I figured I would offer you some intelligence.

 

A) Let's set the record straight, this is not even remotely the same social circle. Our mutual friend (a girl that I work with and he used to work with two years ago) is our common link and a loose link at that. I have been hanging out with her a lot, yet he hasn't seen her in years. She had a fourth of July party invited a lot of people which is ultimately how we met...same social circle? No...I would not consider that my social circle and he wouldn't consider that his group of friends either...so I am glad we have cleared that up.

 

B) We have been hanging out (me and my guy) a lot BUT NOT with this "circle" of friends. We have been hanging out alone, going on trips, dates, ect. There have not been any other people included. He has hung out with my friends, completely irrespective of this group of people.

 

C) He DID NOT find out that I hooked up with this guy from someone else...I told him because he asked, I did not lie. Now that I think about it, I should have informed him before or as soon as I found out that her house mate was there should have cancelled.

 

D) And this whole encounter happened ONE TIME. I have not been making my guy hang out with these people before or since...so I am not really sure where you are getting that.

 

And how am I hypocritical? Explain that to me...I have been nothing but supportive and understanding of my guy's past and who he is. He even showed my explicit text messages accidentally between him and a girl he met right before me. I didn't flip out.

 

I even feel bad about how things have played out so calling me hypocritical has no merit.

[overthemoon86]

Minor update I guess - we are supposed to go my cousin's wedding on September 6th and he booked the reservations for the hotel like a week ago. I remember he sent me the confirmation so I was curious to see if he went ahead and cancelled it. I checked on the Marriott website and the reservations are still there under his name.

 

Who knows maybe he forgot, but if I was that mad that probably would have been the first thing I did.

[HappyLove]

While reading I got the impression that he felt a certain way about you. Like he had the idea that you were loose and you confirmed it by admitting you had sex with the other guy. I think he told you the truth that he's not interested in you in that way. He was dating you for kicks so don't overlook what he said. True if you canceled it wouldn't of happened but really it forced him to admit how he's really felt all along! When a man tells you something like this LISTEN TO HIM! Is this really someone worth dating if they really only saw you as good time girl for the time being?

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

I'm baffled at the posters defending this guy. If you are so offended by the notion of your lady remaining any kind of friends with a former partner---ESPECIALLY a one-time hookup, for Christ's sake---you need to grow a pair.

 

OP, your only mistake was not calling him on this ridiculous behavior. One of my very good friends is a gorgeous hunk of man-meat that I briefly dated before deciding he wasn't my type. While some of my boyfriends have found him physically intimidating, they've never had any problem with our friendship and they certainly haven't told me to stop chatting with him. You know why? Because they are grown-up men and they realize my sexual history is not a reflection on them and their masculinity. They also realize that sex is not necessarily a life-altering experience. If this guy is that immature about sex then he's just going to be a disaster down the road. I'm sorry, OP, but this one's a dud.

 

(I'm equally appalled at the suggestion that the OP is somehow at fault for hooking up with a guy she knows...because hooking up with someone you've never met on Craigslist is so much more natural and safer, apparently?)

[overthemoon86]

Thank you chimpanA-2-chimpanZ! I appreciate your feedback, I really didn't think I did anything wrong except for being honest with him about that my history with that guy before going over or avoiding being there at all.

 

 

I never even talked to the guy again and I have been to my friend's house multiple times in the past. I could understand if he got a little upset, but for him to call the whole thing off was a little extreme.

 

 

And heck no am I going to go search for sex on the internet or miles away to be certain that I won't run into them again...that sounds absurd and so unnecessary. I live in CT for god sakes, it's a small state.

 

 

I obviously do not have the time or the energy to give you all the details of our relationship, but I was in no way shape or form "a good time girl" to him. There is no reason to spend the amount of time on the phone with me and countless text messages as well us spending the entire weekend together...and it wasn't to just have sex. We went to NYC, Lake George, Block Island, the beach, dinners, ect. I don't think you would spend the time (or the money) on a good time girl.

[HappyLove]

Thank you chimpanA-2-chimpanZ! I appreciate your feedback, I really didn't think I did anything wrong except for being honest with him about that my history with that guy before going over or avoiding being there at all.

 

 

I never even talked to the guy again and I have been to my friend's house multiple times in the past. I could understand if he got a little upset, but for him to call the whole thing off was a little extreme.

 

 

And heck no am I going to go search for sex on the internet or miles away to be certain that I won't run into them again...that sounds absurd and so unnecessary. I live in CT for god sakes, it's a small state.

 

 

I obviously do not have the time or the energy to give you all the details of our relationship, but I was in no way shape or form "a good time girl" to him. There is no reason to spend the amount of time on the phone with me and countless text messages as well us spending the entire weekend together...and it wasn't to just have sex. We went to NYC, Lake George, Block Island, the beach, dinners, ect. I don't think you would spend the time (or the money) on a good time girl.

 

 

 

"He told me I was nice and fun and fun to hook up with but he couldn’t see anything long term with me."

 

Ok, just ignore what he literally told you!

[overthemoon86]

I have said many things I haven't meant to protect myself or create a certain outcome. Men have egos and they need to feel like they don't "need" the other person when their ego is bruised.

 

And for me actions speak louder than words. Everything up until this point was zero indication of me being a "good time girl." And if I was a "good time" girl then he probably wouldn't care about who I hooked up with in the past.