Keenly Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 By not reporting it then you just have her the illusion that what she is doing is okay and believe me it is only a matter of time before she does it to other men and she thinks she can get away with it. That woman is the epitome of beautiful. She is an 11. She's also as dumb as a bag of hammers. I didn't feel she deserved to be fired for being young, naive, and the worlds. Biggest tease. I put up with pretty much anything at work. For six months they worked me 12 to 15 hours a day until I EXPLODED on my boss for treating me like a robot. I wouldn't advise that, but I got a raise and my bosses respect.for doing that. The point is people don't bother me, as I don't allow them to. Link to post Share on other sites
Smilecharmer Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Glad she was dealt with appropriately. Sadly, then there's a sort of a DOUBLE double standard, where women seem to not be taken seriously anymore when they accuse a man of harassment, thanks to the women who cry wolf when a man merely smiles at them. I was physically harassed at work once. A superior grabbed my breast. I immediately went to management and called HR. I got a lot of "Are you sure it wasn't an accident?" "Were you giving him positive encouragement?" WOW. Now I don't get asked on dates often, so it is rare that I turn a man down. I have only ever done so twice. He was one of those cases. He asked me out very crudely. I said no. He continued to ask. I continued to say no. I often got very disgruntled with him and he wouldn't leave me alone. This went on for months. Finally the physical harassment happened. I was just stunned that HR suggested it was either an accident or I had been encouraging his MONTHS of inappropriate behavior. Nothing happened. He continued to work there and I went to work feeling nauseous and scared every day. Awful. Oh Phoe, I'm so sorry. How terrible for you. There is too little training in Sexual Harassment IMO so that HR and Management know how to properly deal with it and take it seriously. Women who cry wolf at a guy saying their hair looks nice are hurting those who have been really harassed such as you. Apparently the Manager who had been sexually harassing guys at my husbands work had a laptop full of pics of guys peeing. My husband said he never used that bathroom because it was so far from his office but many guys did. She had pics of most of the office. They pressed criminal charges though I don't know exactly what happened there, I hope she was nailed to the wall. I would feel so violated. Peeing is so personal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Smilecharmer Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 That woman is the epitome of beautiful. She is an 11. She's also as dumb as a bag of hammers. I didn't feel she deserved to be fired for being young, naive, and the worlds. Biggest tease. I put up with pretty much anything at work. For six months they worked me 12 to 15 hours a day until I EXPLODED on my boss for treating me like a robot. I wouldn't advise that, but I got a raise and my bosses respect.for doing that. The point is people don't bother me, as I don't allow them to. Would it have made a difference in how you reacted if she had been ugly and obese? Just curious. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Apparently the Manager who had been sexually harassing guys at my husbands work had a laptop full of pics of guys peeing. My husband said he never used that bathroom because it was so far from his office but many guys did. She had pics of most of the office. They pressed criminal charges though I don't know exactly what happened there, I hope she was nailed to the wall. I would feel so violated. Peeing is so personal. Oh yuck, now that gives me the creeps. Awful 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Would it have made a difference in how you reacted if she had been ugly and obese? Just curious. Not really. Her extreme air headed immaturity was more of a determining factor than her looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Smilecharmer Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Not really. Her extreme air headed immaturity was more of a determining factor than her looks. I would consider anyone who sexually harasses someone in the workplace as extremely immature with impulse control. Do you think you gave her a pass because you didn't feel threatened or because you thought other men would make fun of you or make you feel like a wimp or other? Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Can men really be victims of sexual harassment? It would seem as though most people don't believe they can be. It seems like it would be hard for anyone to take a man seriously if he tries to report a female coworker or just any female in general for sexual harassment. Why is this the case that men aren't taken as seriously as women are if they claim to be victims of sexual harassment? There has to be more to the reason than the idea that men should be grateful for whatever sexual attention they get from women since it is harder for men to get that kind of attention for women. After-all how many guys would give anything to be in that man's position who is legitimately being sexually harassed? If a man tries to call the cops they would laugh at his sexual harassment claim. Also is it true that only good looking men with high status in society can be victims of sexual harassment? It's happened to me back when I was 20 working at Sears. The woman, I believe was in her 30s and wouldn't leave me alone no matter how much I ignored her so yes it can go both ways. As we all know, because men are stronger we're deemed a viable threat to women so it's taken seriously at face value. Women are only deemed as a threat when they go Fatal Attraction on a man. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 I would consider anyone who sexually harasses someone in the workplace as extremely immature with impulse control. Do you think you gave her a pass because you didn't feel threatened or because you thought other men would make fun of you or make you feel like a wimp or other? I didn't report it because I never let any of it get under my skin. I was dealing with a chick who was mentally in 8th grade and I just didn't care enough to do anything. I saw a really nice guy get fired a few months prior for something that was NOT sexual harassment by any stretch of the imagination, but a really stupid woman reported him because her boyfriend told her to, even though it was not even close to sexual harassment. They fired him for literally no reason. I didn't want to see her get fired because she was too stupid to understand what she was doing was inappropriate. I just went about my business. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 I'm so glad this has been quite irrelevant for me for quite some time... bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 I'm so glad this has been quite irrelevant for me for quite some time... bunny: You forgot a semicolon in front of bunny. Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 Sexual harassment is a funny thing. It usually depends on if the person has some interest in you or not and also if they have some motive where they benefit from getting you in trouble. Then you do have the people with no awareness to realize what they are doing is not ok. I know people that have done things that is considered that but nothing happened because the person had some interest in them or thought they looked good. I work in a job with mostly women and had a lot of things happen to me that if I done it that it would be sexual harassment. I've had my crotch rubbed in front of a group of women and they all laugh about it or even hear conversations that if a group of men talked like that it would be an issue Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 Can men really be victims of sexual harassment? It would seem as though most people don't believe they can be. It seems like it would be hard for anyone to take a man seriously if he tries to report a female coworker or just any female in general for sexual harassment. Why is this the case that men aren't taken as seriously as women are if they claim to be victims of sexual harassment? There has to be more to the reason than the idea that men should be grateful for whatever sexual attention they get from women since it is harder for men to get that kind of attention for women. After-all how many guys would give anything to be in that man's position who is legitimately being sexually harassed? If a man tries to call the cops they would laugh at his sexual harassment claim. Also is it true that only good looking men with high status in society can be victims of sexual harassment? Yes they can, no it has nothing to do with looks or looks tied to credibility, and yes employers take these things very seriously. And yes I have see the following types of sexual harassment complaints and investigations: male to female female to male male to male female to female Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 Sexual harassment is a funny thing. It usually depends on if the person has some interest in you or not and also if they have some motive where they benefit from getting you in trouble. Then you do have the people with no awareness to realize what they are doing is not ok. I know people that have done things that is considered that but nothing happened because the person had some interest in them or thought they looked good. I work in a job with mostly women and had a lot of things happen to me that if I done it that it would be sexual harassment. I've had my crotch rubbed in front of a group of women and they all laugh about it or even hear conversations that if a group of men talked like that it would be an issue Actually no. The definition of sexual harassment is severe, persistent and unwanted. So yes, you can not harass the willing. But doing something to someone that isn't unwanted can still be considered inappropriate or even fall into hostile work environment if a third party reports it. And what has happened to you is unacceptable, inappropriate and should not be tolerated by your company. That is terminable. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 Sexual harassment is about power. Sex, whether it be sexual talk or physical sexual actions, is simply the tool to exercise and exert the power. People seem to have this notion that men are impervious to any sort of physical or emotional damage because, well, they're men; they're physically powerful and socialized to ignore pain and hurt. You know, like robots. Programmed. The sooner we evolve beyond such short-sighted and disingenuous generalities and prejudices, the sooner we'll all benefit. IMO, gender-blind anti-discrimination laws and sexual harassment laws are a good start. Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 Actually no. The definition of sexual harassment is severe, persistent and unwanted. So yes, you can not harass the willing. But doing something to someone that isn't unwanted can still be considered inappropriate or even fall into hostile work environment if a third party reports it. And what has happened to you is unacceptable, inappropriate and should not be tolerated by your company. That is terminable. As a male working in an all female environment where management is female too a lot of what could be considered harassment is ignored. I have had female management on a corporate level say things to me. Link to post Share on other sites
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