Darren2013 Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 Would you date someone who doesn't believe in going to the doctors for preventive checkups? Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 Need more information. Do they seem otherwise healthy, or are they in denial about some symptom? Some people don't trust or feel the need for doctors unless there is a specific health concern, and there are legitimate reasons for it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 There is a myth that people are healthier because they have health care. In some cases this might be true. Many people take responsibility for their own health by dealing with stress in a healthy way, eating right and being active. Yes, there are people who do not need doctors. I never go to doctors for checkups, have never paid a dime in health insurance and somehow I am still alive and well in my early 40's. My secret to health is to abstain from alcohol and to avoid all pharmecuticals. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 That would be my husband lol. It's his body, his responsibility. I'm not his mother, I'm not going to nag at him to go. And no it never prevented me from dating someone, and no it doesn't bother me. BUT I do nag at him to go to a damn dentist. Oral care is way more important IMO. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 2, 2014 Author Share Posted August 2, 2014 It doesn't matter. There is a risk that if you wait until symptoms come it may be too late. A person can look as healthy as Arnold Schwarzenegger and have cancer eating them away on the inside. Some illnesses are invisible and silent killers. It is cheaper to invest in preventive checkups in order to catch something early than to wait until symptoms come when it may be too late. I think when it comes to a long term relationship and the potential for illness to effect a family these are important things to look for in a partner. How often do they go for physicals and get checked? The older we get the more the body breaks down and the better chance something may go wrong. Just like with car maintenance there are preventive measures to take with an engine and having a mechanic give it a thorough inspection from time to time to check for any wear and tear on the belts, check the sparkplugs, brakes, etc. Most people take better care of their cars than their bodies when it comes to preventive checkups. When I used to own a car before moving to where I live now I would constantly listen for sounds in the engine when driving because I wanted to be right on top of things if there were early signs of a problem. I would much rather take the chance of being over cautious only to find out there's nothing wrong than to assume that everything is okay just because the car runs normally. I think those are important things to look for in a partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 2, 2014 Author Share Posted August 2, 2014 That would be my husband lol. It's his body, his responsibility. I'm not his mother, I'm not going to nag at him to go. And no it never prevented me from dating someone, and no it doesn't bother me. BUT I do nag at him to go to a damn dentist. Oral care is way more important IMO. I would beg to differ. If something happens to him and he gets seriously ill you can't pretend that it won't effect you. How we take care of our bodies effects others because that means you will have to take care of him when he gets sick. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 There is a risk that if you wait until symptoms come it may be too late. A person can look as healthy as Arnold Schwarzenegger and have cancer eating them away on the inside. Some illnesses are invisible and silent killers. There is also the risk that if you find and treat your cancer early, you have just been through a lot of stress and treated a cancer with toxic chemicals that would have simply gone away on its own. People get cancer all the time, and often it just goes away. Recently, a survey of three decades of screening published in November in The New England Journal of Medicine found that mammography’s impact is decidedly mixed: it does reduce, by a small percentage, the number of women who are told they have late-stage cancer, but it is far more likely to result in overdiagnosis and unnecessary treatment, including surgery, weeks of radiation and potentially toxic drugs... As improbable as it sounds, studies have suggested that about a quarter of screening-detected cancers might have gone away on their own... According to a survey of randomized clinical trials involving 600,000 women around the world, for every 2,000 women screened annually over 10 years, one life is prolonged but 10 healthy women are given diagnoses of breast cancer and unnecessarily treated, often with therapies that themselves have life-threatening side effects. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/28/magazine/our-feel-good-war-on-breast-cancer.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 2, 2014 Author Share Posted August 2, 2014 (edited) Not all doctors believe in treating cancer with chemotherapy and radiation. You can always get a 2nd opinion. And the cancer thing is just one example of major illness that can be detected early. Even if it is an illness that can't be cured then it is better for me and my significant other to know how long I will live so we can both have time to get our minds wrapped around the possibility of me dying in a few months. This may give her the head start she needs to end our relationship and start over with someone else. Edited August 2, 2014 by Darren2013 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 I would beg to differ. If something happens to him and he gets seriously ill you can't pretend that it won't effect you. How we take care of our bodies effects others because that means you will have to take care of him when he gets sick. That's why we agree to our vows "in sickness and in health" Going to a doctor never guarantees prevention. I'm no stranger to taking care of someone who is terminally ill. We are in this union together, and whatever happens we will deal with it. I love my husband, and I won't kick him to the curb because he doesn't see a doctor. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 I'd be a hypocrite if I wouldn't because I don't. If you do like the person, instead of writing them off perhaps you could lead by example & encouragement. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 2, 2014 Author Share Posted August 2, 2014 That's why we agree to our vows "in sickness and in health" Going to a doctor never guarantees prevention. I'm no stranger to taking care of someone who is terminally ill. We are in this union together, and whatever happens we will deal with it. I love my husband, and I won't kick him to the curb because he doesn't see a doctor. Of course there are no guarantees in life but we do what we can to work with the odds. Being a safe driver and paying attention to the road around you does not guarantee you won't get into an accident but the odds are much less than if you were not an attentive driver and just texting while driving or taking your eyes off of the road. The absence of guarantees is not an excuse to not do what is in our power to put the odds in our favor. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 The absence of guarantees is not an excuse to not do what is in our power to put the odds in our favor. As a victim of iatrogenic pain, I don't agree that seeing the doctor is always a good thing. It's a for-profit business in the US. There is profit in finding something wrong and treating it. There's profit in getting you in for regular visits, even when you don't need to go. The guidelines for how often things "need" to be done are always changing. But this is rich coming from someone who is overweight, with a history of cancer yet didn't get himself to a doctor for 5 months despite having disturbing symptoms http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/physical-fitness-health-weight-management/488028-losing-weight-without-trying Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 My dad, two uncles, and one of my best friends died from cancer. I would never date a guy who didn't go to the doctor or who didn't try to live a healthy lifestyle. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 2, 2014 Author Share Posted August 2, 2014 That's because in my case I intuitively know what is going on with me. My cancer is incurable, inoperable and untreatable. The chemotherapy and radiation did not work and the cancer has progressed to stage 4. I have less than 1 year to live. Since it is a lost cause there's really no need to see a doctor anymore as they can't do anything for me. I would be wasting their time when they can see patients who have a chance at being cured. I am in a unique situation where I can manage the pain symptoms just fine with over the counter medications. But all this is beside the point. As this ties in to the subject of dating I'm not really looking for a long term relationship since I'm about to die soon anyway. I intend to keep dates light to just 25 minute coffee dates and no sex. I want to go out on one coffee date per woman with my time remaining. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 That's because in my case I intuitively know what is going on with me. My cancer is incurable, inoperable and untreatable. The chemotherapy and radiation did not work and the cancer has progressed to stage 4. I have less than 1 year to live. Since it is a lost cause there's really no need to see a doctor anymore as they can't do anything for me. I would be wasting their time when they can see patients who have a chance at being cured. I am in a unique situation where I can manage the pain symptoms just fine with over the counter medications. But all this is beside the point. As this ties in to the subject of dating I'm not really looking for a long term relationship since I'm about to die soon anyway. I intend to keep dates light to just 25 minute coffee dates and no sex. I want to go out on one coffee date per woman with my time remaining. Darren sorry to hear about your cancer prognosis. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 That's because in my case I intuitively know what is going on with me. My cancer is incurable, inoperable and untreatable. The chemotherapy and radiation did not work and the cancer has progressed to stage 4. I have less than 1 year to live. Since it is a lost cause there's really no need to see a doctor anymore as they can't do anything for me. I would be wasting their time when they can see patients who have a chance at being cured. I am in a unique situation where I can manage the pain symptoms just fine with over the counter medications. But all this is beside the point. As this ties in to the subject of dating I'm not really looking for a long term relationship since I'm about to die soon anyway. I intend to keep dates light to just 25 minute coffee dates and no sex. I want to go out on one coffee date per woman with my time remaining. Wow, there is a lot going on here. I'm very sorry to read that Could something have been done if you had caught your illness earlier? Is that what prompted this thread? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 2, 2014 Author Share Posted August 2, 2014 I'm not so sure anything could have been done. They initially caught it at stage 2 and the treatments put it into remission or so I thought. There's been a progression and metastasis of the lymphoma which is worse than a reoccurrence. It is a rare subtype and it was probably bound to get worse over time. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 My dad, two uncles, and one of my best friends died from cancer. I would never date a guy who didn't go to the doctor or who didn't try to live a healthy lifestyle. You could use an influx of new DNA. The only person in my family who ever got cancer was my grandmother after smoking for 40 years and she beat it. I'll admit I don't really go to the doctor. My experiences have been more negative than positive. I got malpracticed on. =/ So it would be kind of hypocritical not to date someone who didn't. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 Would you date someone who doesn't believe in going to the doctors for preventive checkups? You must be a Virgo.....anal retentive , knit picker. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 2, 2014 Author Share Posted August 2, 2014 You could use an influx of new DNA. The only person in my family who ever got cancer was my grandmother after smoking for 40 years and she beat it. I'll admit I don't really go to the doctor. My experiences have been more negative than positive. I got malpracticed on. =/ So it would be kind of hypocritical not to date someone who didn't. I'm sorry to hear about your malpractice experience. Those things can really mess a patient up for good. Even if a patient wins money from a lawsuit no amount of money can buy back certain damages. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 The key to keeping in good health, even if terminal, is to be positive. Keeping positive can defy the odds of any doctor's prognosis. You hear those stories where one only has months, but lives for years. Someone close to me has a rare brain tumor, still alive after 4 years since diagnosis.....considered a medical miracle, and has the interest of the medical community. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 I'm sorry to hear about your malpractice experience. Those things can really mess a patient up for good. Even if a patient wins money from a lawsuit no amount of money can buy back certain damages. Indeed. Luckily mine was something on the inside nobody ever notices unless I tell them. So I'm blessed in that way. Still don't want to go to the doctor though. I'll take my chances on my own. Don't give up on the cancer front Darren, amazing things can happen. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 You could use an influx of new DNA. The only person in my family who ever got cancer was my grandmother after smoking for 40 years and she beat it. I'll admit I don't really go to the doctor. My experiences have been more negative than positive. I got malpracticed on. =/ So it would be kind of hypocritical not to date someone who didn't. Congrats to your grandma for beating her cancer. My dad's cancer was bone marrow cancer so there was no cure for it. One uncle died from brain cancer, and the other uncle died from Acute Myeloid Lukemia. My best friend died from lung cancer at the young age of 26, alone in her apartment. Malpracticed on? As in, the doctor mis-prescribed or mis-diagnosed you? Yikes. If cells were never damaged by illness, medical treatments, or diet, then cancer would be non-existent. But I think cancer is inevitable no matter what we do to prevent it. Even the cures for cancer have side effects and can kill the cancer patient, which is what happened to my dad. He was in remission and his doctor (the ass*ole) suggested he get a maintenance dose of interferon. Well that maintenance dose gave my dad leukemia which is what killed him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Darren2013 Posted August 2, 2014 Author Share Posted August 2, 2014 Congrats to your grandma for beating her cancer. My dad's cancer was bone marrow cancer so there was no cure for it. One uncle died from brain cancer, and the other uncle died from Acute Myeloid Lukemia. My best friend died from lung cancer at the young age of 26, alone in her apartment. Malpracticed on? As in, the doctor mis-prescribed or mis-diagnosed you? Yikes. If cells were never damaged by illness, medical treatments, or diet, then cancer would be non-existent. But I think cancer is inevitable no matter what we do to prevent it. Even the cures for cancer have side effects and can kill the cancer patient, which is what happened to my dad. He was in remission and his doctor (the ass*ole) suggested he get a maintenance dose of interferon. Well that maintenance dose gave my dad leukemia which is what killed him. Yeah Oncology is the worst department of medicine out there. There is a tendency to overtreat cancers for financial incentives. The sad thing is overtreating one problem can create new problems. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 Yeah Oncology is the worst department of medicine out there. There is a tendency to overtreat cancers for financial incentives. The sad thing is overtreating one problem can create new problems. I'm in 100% agreement with you there Darren. I don't trust medicine in that sense. I think medicine in general is profit-driven. Link to post Share on other sites
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