Girls, do you lose interest in a guy if he behaves awkwardly?

[you_can_not_see_me]

Instead of letting weeks drag on make a point to ask her on a date.

with some girls I do eventually ask the girl out after months, but by then I already can tell sense that the girl isn't all that interested anymore.

[preraph]

I am just curious if social awkwardness turns women off enough to cross of a guy they might have found attractive.

 

For me, yes. A friend of mine who was getting married introduced me to a very good looking guy who also had money and was going places. He liked me a lot. He flew to see me from out of state for some weekends. Though I liked him, he was too quiet or shy or whatever it was for me. Carrying the conversation became a burden over a weekend. He moved slowly and we weren't even having sex. I think he may have been attracted to me because I was pretty dominant back then and maybe hoped I'd make all the moves, but it wasn't working for me. I began making excuses so he didn't come up. Good guy and he married the next girl he dated -- and I'm sure she was a much better match, so don't lose hope.

[you_can_not_see_me]

For me, yes. A friend of mine who was getting married introduced me to a very good looking guy who also had money and was going places. He liked me a lot. He flew to see me from out of state for some weekends. Though I liked him, he was too quiet or shy or whatever it was for me. Carrying the conversation became a burden over a weekend. He moved slowly and we weren't even having sex. I think he may have been attracted to me because I was pretty dominant back then and maybe hoped I'd make all the moves, but it wasn't working for me. I began making excuses so he didn't come up. Good guy and he married the next girl he dated -- and I'm sure she was a much better match, so don't lose hope.

I never said I lost hope.

[guest569]

I am not socially awkward in general, I m actually pretty talkative and take the lead in groups quite often.

 

But when it comes to expressing interest in a girl its an entirely different story. I do instinctively fear rejection, so when I go to talk/interact with a girl I find attractive there is always a tug of war between being afraid to show overt interest and actually wanting to pursue the girl and in many cases it leads to things becoming less natural and awkward, sometimes I can even come off like I dislike the girl even though I am really into her.

 

This has lead to a lot of cases where it initially seems like a girl is very interested, but as the weeks and months drag on and

I don't effectively get closer to the girl, she seems to lose interest.

 

Ok now I have more context on the original topic (still a little unclear so you may need to correct me on this). I would get frustrated if I dated someone for months and he was still afraid to show interest or show how he feels. Because I would want to know where I stand with him after all that time. I wouldn't necessarily "lose interest" but I would probably end up feeling really insecure or annoyed and end things. In terms or comparison with more confident or social men, I really don't care because I am a quiet girl. You either like someone or you don't, doesn't matter who else is in the room.

 

AND if I was friends or acquaintances with someone for weeks or months who did not express interest I would do the pursuing if I was interested. If he didn't respond to my actions I would assume that he is uninterested and take it as a rejection. I have experienced this from someone who was apparently interested in me.

 

I think if the awkwardness doesn't go away after weeks and months, but other times it does become less maybe the awkward ones just aren't the right fit. In the end we all want someone we can be comfortable and open with.

[you_can_not_see_me]

Ok now I have more context on the original topic (still a little unclear so you may need to correct me on this). I would get frustrated if I dated someone for months and he was still afraid to show interest or show how he feels. Because I would want to know where I stand with him after all that time. I wouldn't necessarily "lose interest" but I would probably end up feeling really insecure or annoyed and end things. In terms or comparison with more confident or social men, I really don't care because I am a quiet girl. You either like someone or you don't, doesn't matter who else is in the room.

 

AND if I was friends or acquaintances with someone for weeks or months who did not express interest I would do the pursuing if I was interested. If he didn't respond to my actions I would assume that he is uninterested and take it as a rejection. I have experienced this from someone who was apparently interested in me.

 

I think if the awkwardness doesn't go away after weeks and months, but other times it does become less maybe the awkward ones just aren't the right fit. In the end we all want someone we can be comfortable and open with.

We weren't dating.

here is the case, the girl was a real hottie and a lot of guys continuously tried to hit on her. I wasn't really considering on trying anything with her but she starting giving me strong hints that she was interested and even though I tried to flirt with her a little I got psyched out a bit and kinda distanced myself for a couple of weeks.

She started Approaching me again after a few weeks , this time I mustered up a bit more courage and actually spent some time with her and had some fun, things seemed to be going good, but that in itself kinda psyched me out and again I distanced myself from her for a couple of weeks.

 

Finally I decided enough was enough and I should stop being a pussy and just go for it. But even before talking to her I could tell something was off and she didn't seem too happy to see me. But I went ahead and asked her out anyway, she turned me down cause she said she was already seeing someone though she did seem a conflicted when she turned me down.

 

This experience and other ones make me think that going hot and cold and or being shy will eventually cause a girl to lose interest or at the very least go with another guy.

[guest569]

Yes going hot and cold would put people off. Whether or not it is intended or true, it sends the message that this person doesn't know what they want. Or they are not all that keen.

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

This experience and other ones make me think that going hot and cold and or being shy will eventually cause a girl to lose interest or at the very least go with another guy.

 

This is true for everyone, not just women. When you play games, go hot and cold, or suddenly pull away and come back, it's extremely frustrating! Why would I spend time with someone who might not even like me? I want my partner to be completely clear about his feelings so I won't be afraid to share mine.

 

It's fine if he's awkward, up to a point. It's not fine if he doesn't even make it clear that he wants to be with me.

[you_can_not_see_me]

This is true for everyone, not just women. When you play games, go hot and cold, or suddenly pull away and come back, it's extremely frustrating! Why would I spend time with someone who might not even like me? I want my partner to be completely clear about his feelings so I won't be afraid to share mine.

 

It's fine if he's awkward, up to a point. It's not fine if he doesn't even make it clear that he wants to be with me.

I wasn't trying to play games, I just have a hard time showing interest in a girl I like.

[Titania22]

I wasn't trying to play games, I just have a hard time showing interest in a girl I like.

 

But it still amounts to the same thing. You were going hot and cold, and that would turn most people off. You were lucky she was still interested after the first time you distanced yourself.

[you_can_not_see_me]

But it still amounts to the same thing. You were going hot and cold, and that would turn most people off. You were lucky she was still interested after the first time you distanced yourself.

yeah I was surprised she came around the second time and I know I ****ed up bad. Its a shame cause beside being really hot, she had this really energetic and fun personality that really appealed to me.

oh well I should learn a listen from this and not make the same mistake next time.

[Eivuwan]

yeah I was surprised she came around the second time and I know I ****ed up bad. Its a shame cause beside being really hot, she had this really energetic and fun personality that really appealed to me.

oh well I should learn a listen from this and not make the same mistake next time.

 

I think you need to think about why you go cold and how to prevent that from happening. If you put your main focus on protecting yourself, you're not going to get anyway. No pain no gain. No risks no rewards.

[d0nnivain]

When you wait to long or run hot & cold the woman begins to doubt herself. At 1st she thinks she likes you & that the feeling is mutual, When you, as the man, don't confirm her belief through actions like asking her out, she concludes she was wrong & that you don't share the attraction. She thinks you only like her as a friend & she moves you into the friend column in her mind.

 

Going forward don't wait so long. The 1st time you feel a twinge of attraction, gather your courage & ask for a date. It doesn't have to be some elaborate expensive thing but get together with her sooner rather than later.

[TB Rhine]

In a good-looking guy, "awkwardness" equals sweet, boyish, charming, endearing.

 

In not-so-good-looking guy, awkward equals "SO...effin'... CREEP-EH!!!!"

 

In not-so-good-looking guy w/ money, awkward = JACKPOT.

[smackie9]

with some girls I do eventually ask the girl out after months, but by then I already can tell sense that the girl isn't all that interested anymore.

 

 

Well duh.....girls don't like a coward.

 

Now that you see the pattern, change it. Rejection is just part of life, so don't accept it as a negative thing. The reality is, not every girl you like will be attracted to you, no different that you not being attracted to the homely fat chick that's hitting on you.

[Imported]

In a good-looking guy, "awkwardness" equals sweet, boyish, charming, endearing.

 

In not-so-good-looking guy, awkward equals "SO...effin'... CREEP-EH!!!!"

 

In not-so-good-looking guy w/ money, awkward = JACKPOT.

 

Did you even read the OP?

 

Trust me, even if you're good looking, there is a limit how long a girl stays attracted before you do something. She will move on if you hold back. She might even resent you, start looking at you and see stuff as wrong. You not making a move on her is a rejection and she will rationalize why you are "Mr. Wrong" anyway.

 

That being said, some girls might stay attracted for a year or two, which is just scary.

[smackie9]

In a good-looking guy, "awkwardness" equals sweet, boyish, charming, endearing.

 

In not-so-good-looking guy, awkward equals "SO...effin'... CREEP-EH!!!!"

 

In not-so-good-looking guy w/ money, awkward = JACKPOT.

 

In not-so-good-looking guy w/ money, awkward =tolerable

[you_can_not_see_me]

Well duh.....girls don't like a coward.

 

Now that you see the pattern, change it. Rejection is just part of life, so don't accept it as a negative thing. The reality is, not every girl you like will be attracted to you, no different that you not being attracted to the homely fat chick that's hitting on you.

haha that last part isn't reassuring at all.

[SJC2008]

Most people don't like awkwardnres, humans are very very fickle. Women are wired more for empathy than men so this may br a reason women are less forgiving for awkwardness. Wakwardness is like women off for most of them.