hasaquestion Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I have to guess this must be a woman issue as I hardly see men taking issue with being photographed. :-) I'm a man and have my Facebook set so that I have to approve anything before its tagged with me or posted to my wall. I definitely screen out some of the unflattering ones - alcohol, side of my head, eyes closed. I don't think its that unusual. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I think it can be much more of a "woman" thing when it comes to being shy about being photographed in general never mind posting it on FB for all to see. Sad but true unfortunately. I'm one of those women who prefers to keep my relationships, private. Or at least I prefer to NOT parade it around on social media like so many people do. Some people over share ad nauseam! Ugh. And if I've learned anything about FB in particular, is that everything is not always at it appears to be. Personally, I feel that couples open themselves up to being scrutinized or judged good or bad and I think it just makes ones relationship more vulnerable. I mean, look at how many threads have been started where men and women bellyache about FB status's and pic likes and messages and whatever? On the flip side, I can definitely be an open book about a great many things about my life but there is a time and place for it. Bottom line, I think taking pictures of each other and capturing wonderful moments together are fantastic and important in any relationship but I always question why someone feels the need to plaster them all over the web. It's like they're looking for some kind of validation or something. Perhaps too simplistic but that is how it appears to me. Take the pictures but keep them to yourselves or at least until you have kids then it only seems right to blow up your FB page Good luck! I agree. OP, you didn't answer the question I asked about why it is important that you put the pictures on FB? You seem dissatisfied with her allowing you to take pics if they are for your eyes only and seem bothered that you can't put them on FB...why? In my observation "FB Relationships" come to a very public crash and burn when people prioritize putting their relationship on FB. It's not a crime to share pics but I do think it becomes a problem when every date, every move you make in your relationship becomes a FB status or picture for others to judge and comment on. Nothing is wrong with her for not wanting this....it is weirder to me why someone would want to do this. Unless it's about validation and proving to people that you can get a date or relationship or something 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Actually. .. it's been official since around the middle of July. :-) Congratulations! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 I don't do it for validation. ... I do it because I like her, she's photogenic and I find her adorable. Also it depends on the moment. I agree. OP, you didn't answer the question I asked about why it is important that you put the pictures on FB? You seem dissatisfied with her allowing you to take pics if they are for your eyes only and seem bothered that you can't put them on FB...why? In my observation "FB Relationships" come to a very public crash and burn when people prioritize putting their relationship on FB. It's not a crime to share pics but I do think it becomes a problem when every date, every move you make in your relationship becomes a FB status or picture for others to judge and comment on. Nothing is wrong with her for not wanting this....it is weirder to me why someone would want to do this. Unless it's about validation and proving to people that you can get a date or relationship or something Link to post Share on other sites
WorryGirl Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I HATE Facebook for reasons like this. My boyfriend and I have pictures of us that are precious. Facebook is far too impersonal for them to end up there. All of our nearest and dearest know about our relationship and can see those pictures first hand. We are also currently experiencing problems in our relationship, which makes me even happier that our relationship is not plastered all over Facebook. I actually found our my cousin was engaged via Facebook. I was hurt. His girlfriend had changed their relationship status and uploaded photos of the ring to their 2,000+ 'friends' before he was even able to get on the phone to his family, and at the time he was one of my very best friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Smilecharmer Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Irc, I personally hate FB. I like my privacy and my life not to be consciously in everyone's face all the time. I'm very pretty but I just don't like it when I'm plastered all over the internet. I guess I just don't like the attention. I'm weird I guess. I have a FB page due to my career but I only have one shot of me on it for professional reasons. I think you should just take her at her word and stop posting on your FB her photos. Privacy is something some people must have to feel comfortable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I don't do it for validation. ... I do it because I like her, she's photogenic and I find her adorable. Also it depends on the moment. So why can't you adore her in the privacy of your own phone gallery...that's what I'm asking. I'm not asking why you take her pictures. You already said she doesn't mind you taking her picture if you don't put it on FB...so if it's just about taking adorable pics of her, why can't you take them and just put them as your phone background or something, why is her not wanting it to be shared on FB the problem and why is it something you are so concerned with doing? Do you understand what I'm asking? I'm ONLY asking about the Facebook uploading and tagging aspect and why THAT particular part is important to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 So why can't you adore her in the privacy of your own phone gallery...that's what I'm asking. I'm not asking why you take her pictures. You already said she doesn't mind you taking her picture if you don't put it on FB...so if it's just about taking adorable pics of her, why can't you take them and just put them as your phone background or something, why is her not wanting it to be shared on FB the problem and why is it something you are so concerned with doing? Do you understand what I'm asking? I'm ONLY asking about the Facebook uploading and tagging aspect and why THAT particular part is important to you? Yes, and I just answered you. 'Nuff said. Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 No facebook = no drama. Trust me. Remove it from your life. You'll be so thankful you did. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 No facebook = no drama. Trust me. Remove it from your life. You'll be so thankful you did. Well, thing is, its become a way of life, keep in mind, some employers require it on their job applications so they can take a gander at your profile. If you don't have one, you may be thrown out of the running. Employers use it as a way to see what's going on in your life perhaps even Google your name to see if you're not getting wasted or something *shrug* It's pretty much become widely accepted by any organization known to man. From large and small businesses, TV shows, News Shows with the little Icon where the announcer says, "Add us on Twitter/Facebook". *shrug* Sorry, a little off topic. Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Well, thing is, its become a way of life, keep in mind, some employers require it on their job applications so they can take a gander at your profile. If you don't have one, you may be thrown out of the running. Employers use it as a way to see what's going on in your life perhaps even Google your name to see if you're not getting wasted or something *shrug* It's pretty much become widely accepted by any organization known to man. From large and small businesses, TV shows, News Shows with the little Icon where the announcer says, "Add us on Twitter/Facebook". *shrug* Sorry, a little off topic. Pretty sure you can just tell them, "no." I just googled it, most states have some sort of legal issues with employers/schools asking prospective employees (or higher education students) for their account information. You can report them to your local ACLU and let them sort it out . Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 Pretty sure you can just tell them, "no." I just googled it, most states have some sort of legal issues with employers/schools asking prospective employees (or higher education students) for their account information. You can report them to your local ACLU and let them sort it out . In a right to work state, they don't have to hire you for any reason. You can be fired for wearing unfavorable colored shoes in certain states. Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 In a right to work state, they don't have to hire you for any reason. You can be fired for wearing unfavorable colored shoes in certain states. Well, ****. THanks for the heads up. Just googled US right-to-work states. Now I know what places I should stay very far away from . Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 Well, ****. THanks for the heads up. Just googled US right-to-work states. Now I know what places I should stay very far away from . Yeah, teachers have to be especially careful on Facebook....THEY are the ones better off not having any kind of social media. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 So why can't you adore her in the privacy of your own phone gallery...that's what I'm asking. I'm not asking why you take her pictures. You already said she doesn't mind you taking her picture if you don't put it on FB...so if it's just about taking adorable pics of her, why can't you take them and just put them as your phone background or something, why is her not wanting it to be shared on FB the problem and why is it something you are so concerned with doing? Do you understand what I'm asking? I'm ONLY asking about the Facebook uploading and tagging aspect and why THAT particular part is important to you? I agree. OP seemed to have been single for a long time and wants people to know that he has a gf. I don't really see any other reason to keep posting dating pics on FB. 2 months is way early and it seems like you have started even earlier. 5-6 is A LOT 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Actually. .. it's been official since around the middle of July. :-) Ahh my bad. Based on your OP, it sounded like you were dating for a couple of months. I assumed casually. Glad it is working out for you. Congrats! As to why she doesn't like them, I'm not sure. If you are in a relationship, I think you should ask her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted July 30, 2014 Author Share Posted July 30, 2014 2 months is way early and it seems like you have started even earlier. 5-6 is A LOT Well,that's your opinion, I don't think it's a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Well,that's your opinion, I don't think it's a lot. You should listen to more experienced people so that you don't make big mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
katinlc Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Mid July is not a long time and I would be hesitant to have a lot on FB about a new relationship. My experience is there are two kinds of girls in FB. The first ones are the ones who flaunt any and all relationships, post a jillion pictures of their new love interest, and can't wait to change their status and tell everyone what a great man they have. These are the drama queens who also have to change their status back to single, remove all pictures, and post sad quotes about love when the break up occurs. The second kind of girl watches this first girl, mortified that they put their business out there like that and wants to make sure to not be like that. They may not want to change their status, or post a bunch of pics, or flaunt their man. Doesn't mean they like him any less (actually probably more). Just means they don't want to be that girl or all the pressure that comes with it. Sounds like your girl is the second type (which is a good thing in my opinion). In that case, 5-6 is kind of lot since mid-July. It may not make any sense to you as a guy why she would care, but to girls it makes perfect sense and I'm impressed she had the maturity to tell you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted July 30, 2014 Author Share Posted July 30, 2014 Yes.... and I was kind enough to ease up on it. We'd been dating since early June though. ..she lives very local to me so we had been able to see each other quite frequently. Even throughout the weekdays too. So it just made us dating seem longer Mid July is not a long time and I would be hesitant to have a lot on FB about a new relationship. My experience is there are two kinds of girls in FB. The first ones are the ones who flaunt any and all relationships, post a jillion pictures of their new love interest, and can't wait to change their status and tell everyone what a great man they have. These are the drama queens who also have to change their status back to single, remove all pictures, and post sad quotes about love when the break up occurs. The second kind of girl watches this first girl, mortified that they put their business out there like that and wants to make sure to not be like that. They may not want to change their status, or post a bunch of pics, or flaunt their man. Doesn't mean they like him any less (actually probably more). Just means they don't want to be that girl or all the pressure that comes with it. Sounds like your girl is the second type (which is a good thing in my opinion). In that case, 5-6 is kind of lot since mid-July. It may not make any sense to you as a guy why she would care, but to girls it makes perfect sense and I'm impressed she had the maturity to tell you. Link to post Share on other sites
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