NC with Friends?

[whichwayisup]

My friend concerning this thread has just called me about 6 times after nearly 6 months of not speaking. I don't really wont to speak to her but at the same time I wonder what she wants.

 

 

She has been in Australia for the past 2 months and to be honest I don't really want to hear about it, especially we as friends are not in a good place at the moment.

 

She's fishing. Enough time has gone by and she probably wants to see where your head is at.

 

If you feel the friendship is gone and no chance of it happening again, just ignore and go on with your life. You're no obligated to continue or pick up with the friendship, you can still be in NC mode.

[kendahke]

My ex Best Friend and I are not on speaking terms. I went NC but had not changed my number yet. She called me and said she tried to email me and I told her I had changed my email address and I most probably will change my number.

 

 

She said that she thought that would be a ridiculous, dumb and immature thing to do.

 

 

I told her many people go down this route when they are no longer on speaking terms with someone who was important to them.

 

 

So Two questions

 

 

1) Is it ok to go the NC route with an ex Best Friend?

 

 

2) Is NC immature?

 

 

I personally think that it is ok to go NC on a friend if that is what you need to protect yourself from getting hurt and also to move forward and I don't think NC is immature. The way she said it hurt a lot and she got me thinking about it.

 

 

Be interested to read your opinions on the questions.

 

 

Thanks!

 

I've done it.

 

Sometimes, best friends go too far and if they won't accept responsibility for the actions they engage in that leave you feeling hurt, the next best thing you can do is remove your person from close proximity to them. Meaning: Go NC on them.

 

If I hurt my friend's feelings and they bring it to my attention, I will apologize to them. I won't launch into a justification campaign as to why I felt right in doing/saying what I did if the effect of it was them being hurt. That is, if I truly value them and their friendship, then I don't treat it like trash.

[kendahke]

I meant that to mean NC but then she kept calling once a week and not really saying much and I could feel that our relationship most definitely was not the same anymore, she was not really interested in overcoming this issue and so to help me to heal I changed my email and told her I will change my number as she keeps calling and every-time we talk it is not productive and just makes me feel worst.

 

Yeah, if she was engaged in trying to "spin the earth backwards" to before this initially went down, then it's a good idea to just take the steps to cut her out. Nothing is going to unmake what happened. It's a done deal. She can't get past it. OK. Then you have to leave her where she stands and you go on with your life. She will eventually pick herself up and go on with hers.

[kendahke]

I've also had a falling out with my bff where we didn't speak for 15 years. When I got on Facebook, she was one of the first people who contacted me. We both apologized over what ended our friendship... have been to see her twice and we chat off and on. She's been going through some hard stuff in her marriage and has been rather incommunicado, but I still let her know that I'm here and I will not judge her--she's my girl. She's been coming out of her shell.

 

We both made the decision to let the past be in the past. We both owned what we did and it was far more important for us to be in each other's life again. Maybe, with a lot of time going by, this, too, will heal and she will be able to understand that you were in a rather sticky place in your life that you are no longer in. There is always hope in the future if your friendship was initially strong.