Feeling Your Age

[thefooloftheyear]

Every women out there defiantly proclaims they look younger than their age....Where are all of these 45 year old women that say they look 28? Im not seeing that...J-Lo? Sure...But everyone else?...nah..

 

Maybe the problem is that as they age, their eyesight goes to shyt and they just have permanent beer goggles..

 

TFY

[Mrs Carter]

Every women out there defiantly proclaims they look younger than their age....Where are all of these 45 year old women that say they look 28? Im not seeing that...J-Lo? Sure...But everyone else?...nah..

 

Maybe the problem is that as they age, their eyesight goes to shyt and they just have permanent beer goggles..

 

TFY

My. It seems you have issues with women your age.

[thefooloftheyear]

My. It seems you have issues with women your age.

 

 

Nah....

 

I dont care...I dont have issues with anyone...Its kinda funny, though..

 

TFY

[Victoria7]

Women often gripe about western culture which is supposed to be more strict about fitness, health/weight, looks, and youth, but when I hear about other cultures, it seems out of all the cultures, western culture "entitles" women to the most rights...or is there a culture out there I'm unaware of that is far ahead of western culture? because everything else I've heard has been worse.

 

I see women in their 30's, 40's, 50's, going out and partying and having a good time, getting dressed up, hitting up the local bar/pub festival, being single and "wild", not necessarily being "oppressed" by western culture, subjected to wearing thick pants and sweaters forcing them to hide their bodies and faces as all the hot bodied youthful women spit on them walking by.

 

OK Ninja - I could go for a good debate. Let's play.

 

You have a good point when it comes to culture. Western culture doesn't force women to be as submissive as other cultures. I've specified Western culture because we are the most youth obsessed.

 

When I was in my 20's I was considered a "hot girl," period end of story. Now, I'm considered "hot...for my age." I'm sorry but that isn't a compliment.

 

I assume you're a man IRL or you would understand what it's like to have the big fall from beauty grace. It's sad; frustrating and enviable. Look at Cindy Crawford. I remember when she was considered the ultimate in female form now she looks old. Attractive but old. Old isn't bad: it's nature. But our society doesn't really find nature tolerable. The Western mantra is "Fight the aging process!" Why should we fight? In the end we all lose.

[thefooloftheyear]

OK Ninja - I could go for a good debate. Let's play.

 

You have a good point when it comes to culture. Western culture doesn't force women to be as submissive as other cultures. I've specified Western culture because we are the most youth obsessed.

 

When I was in my 20's I was considered a "hot girl," period end of story. Now, I'm considered "hot...for my age." I'm sorry but that isn't a compliment.

 

I assume you're a man IRL or you would understand what it's like to have the big fall from beauty grace. It's sad; frustrating and enviable. Look at Cindy Crawford. I remember when she was considered the ultimate in female form now she looks old. Attractive but old. Old isn't bad: it's nature. But our society doesn't really find nature tolerable. The Western mantra is "Fight the aging process!" Why should we fight? In the end we all lose.

 

 

Cindy Crawford just looks like a mature version of a gorgeous woman..In no way does she look "old" in terms of what is typical of most other women her age..

 

TFY

[ASG]

Every women out there defiantly proclaims they look younger than their age....Where are all of these 45 year old women that say they look 28? Im not seeing that...J-Lo? Sure...But everyone else?...nah..

 

Maybe the problem is that as they age, their eyesight goes to shyt and they just have permanent beer goggles..

 

TFY

 

I think you're taking it a bit too far though... no one is claiming to look almost 20 years younger, I don't think.

 

But many 40 something year old women will pass for 30 something. Same as some 30 something will pass as 20 something. I'm not home right now, so linking is a bitch, but I can link you to some images of regular people (read not hollywood types) who look younger than their age. I hope they feel as young as they look! (I know them personally and I think they do... unless they are hungover! )

[thefooloftheyear]

I think you're taking it a bit too far though... no one is claiming to look almost 20 years younger, I don't think.

 

But many 40 something year old women will pass for 30 something. Same as some 30 something will pass as 20 something. I'm not home right now, so linking is a bitch, but I can link you to some images of regular people (read not hollywood types) who look younger than their age. I hope they feel as young as they look! (I know them personally and I think they do... unless they are hungover! )

 

Point is this...

 

Just seems like there are NO women who claim their age....>Sure, some do look younger as do many guys as well..But none?? and heaven forbid they actually look older...Nah,, that NEVER happens...

 

Women also have the luxury(curse?) of being able to "put their face on" in the morning and wear all kinds of slenderizing and shapely undergarments that hide a multitude of sins...They also are not condemned for having all kinds of plastic surgery to hide other sins..

 

So, do they really look young, or once you strip all of the props away, they are "just what their age says they are"??

 

.02

 

TFY

[GorillaTheater]

Point is this...

 

Just seems like there are NO women who claim their age....>

 

Internet Rule #37: everybody thinks we're at least 10 years younger than we really are. Me included.

[Victoria7]

Point is this...

 

Just seems like there are NO women who claim their age....>Sure, some do look younger as do many guys as well..But none?? and heaven forbid they actually look older...Nah,, that NEVER happens...

 

Women also have the luxury(curse?) of being able to "put their face on" in the morning and wear all kinds of slenderizing and shapely undergarments that hide a multitude of sins...They also are not condemned for having all kinds of plastic surgery to hide other sins..

 

So, do they really look young, or once you strip all of the props away, they are "just what their age says they are"??

 

.02

 

 

 

TFY

 

Although you seem a bit angry towards women I hate to say you've proved my point. When girls are in their early 20's they don't have a problem looking their age. But when you turn 30 it is a slap in the face for someone to guess your age correctly. Women in their 30's want to look like 20 something. Women in their 40's want to look 30 something etc.

 

Isn't it sad that after age 30 no woman feels happy looking their age?

[thefooloftheyear]

Although you seem a bit angry towards women I hate to say you've proved my point. When girls are in their early 20's they don't have a problem looking their age. But when you turn 30 it is a slap in the face for someone to guess your age correctly. Women in their 30's want to look like 20 something. Women in their 40's want to look 30 something etc.

 

Isn't it sad that after age 30 no woman feels happy looking their age?

 

Sigh...

 

First of all, I am not angry.....Just pointing out an observation..

 

I know a lot of women in their 40's that look great, but dont go around crowing(lying) about how they got proofed at the local pub...

 

Its not about that...only insecure women- who think they offer nothing more than their looks, or who dont think they have any value once they hit 30 are the ones with the problem..

 

I train occasionally with a 53 year old woman who has a dynamite body, but her face does look like that of a woman in her age group. She doesnt care...She is entirely happy and wears her age proudly..

 

TFY

[somedude81]

Internet Rule #37: everybody thinks we're at least 10 years younger than we really are. Me included.

 

Is that just an internet rule or a real life thing?

 

My dad is 55 and nobody thinks he's out of his 40's.

 

I'm almost 33 and people constantly guess my age as 25.

[Victoria7]

Sigh...

 

First of all, I am not angry.....Just pointing out an observation..

 

I know a lot of women in their 40's that look great, but dont go around crowing(lying) about how they got proofed at the local pub...

 

Its not about that...only insecure women- who think they offer nothing more than their looks, or who dont think they have any value once they hit 30 are the ones with the problem..

 

I train occasionally with a 53 year old woman who has a dynamite body, but her face does look like that of a woman in her age group. She doesnt care...She is entirely happy and wears her age proudly..

 

TFY

 

I don't how others experience the world. I can only speak from my own POV and my current age range is targeted with all kinds of anti-aging products. I mean even the name "anti-aging" is telling me that aging is BAD. Just DON'T DO IT!.

[Ninjainpajamas]

OK Ninja - I could go for a good debate. Let's play.

 

You have a good point when it comes to culture. Western culture doesn't force women to be as submissive as other cultures. I've specified Western culture because we are the most youth obsessed.

 

When I was in my 20's I was considered a "hot girl," period end of story. Now, I'm considered "hot...for my age." I'm sorry but that isn't a compliment.

 

I assume you're a man IRL or you would understand what it's like to have the big fall from beauty grace. It's sad; frustrating and enviable. Look at Cindy Crawford. I remember when she was considered the ultimate in female form now she looks old. Attractive but old. Old isn't bad: it's nature. But our society doesn't really find nature tolerable. The Western mantra is "Fight the aging process!" Why should we fight? In the end we all lose.

 

I'm pretty certain age is much less of a factor in western society, you can essentially get married and have kids at age 35 or even 40 and older in western society and no one would freak out over it, in other cultures you are way past your prime for marriage and children. I think media gets the blame for human vanity which exists in every country because it existed since the beginning of time, I think we just spend more money on it due to the changes in society since western society seems largely ahead social wise instead of still being forever stagnant like with religious or traditional based cultures...it's like moving into the next stage of the future.

 

Youth is always prized as well, not just by women but men. Men have mid-life crises, they date younger women to feel young again, they lose their hair and try to replace it, their bodies change so they try to get in better shape, they try to "keep up with the young guys" in sports and competition, it's a testament to men when a 40 year old beats a 20 year old at something, but it's also attributed to "experience" if he wins.

 

I also think that men age and fall off the radar as well, however men are much more likely to even get their 15 minutes so to speak. Most men don't acquire the caliber of looks you once possessed, they will know what it feels like to be drooled over and desired for essentially just existing, they have to work much harder to get half the attention at best from women. Just because now you are aging and noticing a decline doesn't mean it's unfair to women in social society, it just means you're going through the normal cycle of life..and just because it's a shock to you to not be treated like that hot 21 something anymore, doesn't mean you are irrelevant or undesirable to men...I for one am someone who has always been attracted to older women, I would more likely find you sexy now than I would when you were 20 something, even when I was at that age it didn't do much for me alone...just because they were young women, sure at 33 I notice more now than I did then they are young, youthful and sometimes have smoking hot bodies but I have no idea what she'll look like at 30 or 40, so looking good for your age is a compliment because not everybody is that lucky...you could basically be jealous over a woman who might fall ill, or gain a lot of weight or what not which happens to a lot of people as they grow older and then will you feel so badly and judged?

 

We all lose in the end, but the more we do to feel and look young, the better we feel about ourselves. Nobody wants to feel old and ugly, so what is the motivation in that? Being accepted for who you are is being accepting of yourself, because that's the real problem...if you embrace the changes in your life and within yourself then you won't care so much the other young people get for free, plus you had their day and they will age too, people need to stop being jealous over it.

 

You should be happy to have been "hot" at 20, and still hot now...most people never even had that, especially a lot of guys, imagine being in their shoes, your life would have been a completely different experience, invisible even. You should have more empathy for ugly people, and be secretly damn glad if you aren't one of them.

[FitChick]

I think women who used to be "hot" when they were young have a harder time aging. I was just above average in my 20s but always looked much younger than my age (my younger sisters hated me). Men feared I was 'jail bait' so I seldom dated.

 

It wasn't until around 40 that I learned to enhance my looks in every way and dated more men after 40 than I did before 40. I don't feel or act old and never have. What bugs me is men and women complaining about looking and feeling old but doing nothing about it. So much easier to be lazy. Your choice.

[FitChick]

I think media gets the blame for human vanity which exists in every country because it existed since the beginning of time.

 

looking good for your age is a compliment because not everybody is that lucky...

 

People tend to forget that first bit or perhaps never studied history or anthropology.

 

Looking good as you age is seldom down to luck. A few lucky people have genetics on their side but the rest of us make an effort because beauty is power in any society.

 

The endless arguments on here about looks are like the arguments about rich people. Sure some inherited wealth but most worked hard, made an effort. Again, lazy people can't be bothered so they whine.

[Victoria7]

You should be happy to have been "hot" at 20, and still hot now...most people never even had that, especially a lot of guys, imagine being in their shoes, your life would have been a completely different experience, invisible even. You should have more empathy for ugly people, and be secretly damn glad if you aren't one of them.

 

...well now I sort of feel like a bit*ch

 

OK. Not every girl in their 20's is hot. True enough. Also, I understand some men never get sexual attention and don't know what it feels like to be desired.

 

Some truths:

 

*Men will try and get a woman who is far more physically attractive then himself. There are plenty of couples where the woman is drop dead beautiful and the guy is below average. One rarely sees the opposite.

 

*Older women do not give off the sexually fit cues that younger women do and it's more likely that you'll have a healthy baby if you give birth prior to age 35. A 45 year old male could mate with a younger woman and not worry about his age affecting the baby.

 

*It's very common to see older men with younger women. It's accepted. Although older women do date younger men it's still looked upon as strange.

 

Personally, growing older was a big shock and one I'm just beginning to embrace. Last year was when I first noticed the signs and it was terrifying. (My husband threatened to throw away my mirror.) The change forced me to wake up and view life differently. In the scheme of the universe 45 years isn't much time at all.

[Victoria7]

People tend to forget that first bit or perhaps never studied history or anthropology.

 

Looking good as you age is seldom down to luck. A few lucky people have genetics on their side but the rest of us make an effort because beauty is power in any society.

 

The endless arguments on here about looks are like the arguments about rich people. Sure some inherited wealth but most worked hard, made an effort. Again, lazy people can't be bothered so they whine.

 

I'm not lazy and I'm not whining.

[Tayla]

Victoria, I have read your replies and agree with your view point.

 

There is a sense of ignorance that permeates in some of the comments here.

 

I am by far older looking then my true age, and despite Fit Chicks comment, I have done so with grace. At the end of my life it wont be about the wrinkles or greyness or the battle of the bulge that happens, It will be that every wrinkle came from moments of laughter and good hearted adventures. At some point I dismissed the makeup and accepted the au natural...If someone doesn't like it, its not my business. I eat right, excercise and maintain.

 

So yup, I look older and in the process, ever so grateful to be able to age...with grace.

[ascendotum]

OK Ninja - I could go for a good debate. Let's play.

 

You have a good point when it comes to culture. Western culture doesn't force women to be as submissive as other cultures. I've specified Western culture because we are the most youth obsessed.

 

When I was in my 20's I was considered a "hot girl," period end of story. Now, I'm considered "hot...for my age." I'm sorry but that isn't a compliment.

 

I assume you're a man IRL or you would understand what it's like to have the big fall from beauty grace. It's sad; frustrating and enviable. Look at Cindy Crawford. I remember when she was considered the ultimate in female form now she looks old. Attractive but old. Old isn't bad: it's nature. But our society doesn't really find nature tolerable. The Western mantra is "Fight the aging process!" Why should we fight? In the end we all lose.

 

"Hot....for my age", is better than being part of the background/wallpaper, which many people are as they get old. There basically is a consensuses definition of what hot is. Read a People magazine or a FHM magazine with an article on the hottest women, and that's western society's definition of hot. (generally applied by both men & women in their prime, but still aging men's definition of sexy is not too malleable ). Probably average age of the women is 25. You can't be hot all your life, and its a decline that is not unique to being female, but it hits them harder of course as they are judged for it more.

 

Unfortunately there is a big fall from grace, and that's the nature of a youth/beauty obsessed culture. It hurts more because of the over endowed benefits hot women get in their teens/20s/30s from being adored & praised & photographed & getting free perks + opportunities & more attention & fun with whoever they want practically & great options for marriage. Unfortunately its like a roller coaster climb up then down, which plain woman and majority of men don't experience. If you lived in non western parts of the world you would not be so admired for your beauty so aging would not effect your psyche so hard, but then you would miss out on the SATC life when you were younger.

 

I know a few women who were very much defined by their beauty & sex appeal and it meant a lot to them in their life and its hit them hard turning 40. One of them was a woman I worked with a couple of years back who complained that the office geeks stopped flirting with her now that she got a middle age spread. She would not have contemplated going out with them prior but missed them showing interest, but really only after the flirting in her life dried up. I do get it, but I'm sure the office geeks would have loved to have had 5% of the attention she used to get from her past tales she told me. '"Your still great looking...for your age' is still a compliment I reckon, though I know not to use that expression with women.

Edited August 6, 2014 by ascendotum

[Robert Z]

Age has a lot more to do with health, fitness, and attitude, than it does time. Physicists are all damn dirty liars.

 

 

What really bothers me is when I see people choosing to be old. My ex did that. She wanted to be old. I think she always wanted to live like an old person - let herself go, just screw around in the garden all the time, no sex, no passion... out of touch with reality...

 

 

And I hear women say this or something similar often - I want to grow old together. Screw that! I don't want to be old and I am fighting it every step of the way. My ex layed down and died a long time ago... because she wanted to.

 

 

At age 55 I stopped needing Viagra. Now that is what I call results! Age can be reversed because most of what we call aging is really a decline in health and fitness.

Edited August 6, 2014 by Robert Z

[carhill]

Do you really feel different from when you were in your 20's.

 

Sure, a lot more content. As far as the physical stuff, nothing major, just the normal results of a lifetime of physical abuse of a biological organism. On balance, the body is a pretty durable machine.

Do you feel funny if someone asks your age?

No, but it is sometimes interesting to see their reaction, especially if I happen to be wearing a ball cap. If so, and they hesitate, I take it off to make them feel better.

What age do you feel you are.

 

I don't feel any age.

 

I think the best response was one my mother gave, before she became demented in her 80's. She used to say that she didn't have a clue how old she was unless she looked in the mirror. 'Oh, yeah, I guess I did get old', she used to say. She never exhibited 'old' behaviors, being healthy and active and energetic until dementia cut her down.

 

Myself, I don't focus on age unless age happens to be a topic of discussion. Sure, each day I wake up I'm a day older but I'm also a day more fortunate.

 

Oh, another way of feeling one's 'age' is to read the obituaries or go to funerals of friends and family. That was something else I heard from my mom in her later years. She lamented the loss of many of her friends. That did appear to make her feel 'old'. I see a bit of that in myself, as my friends have been dying off at an alarming (to me) rate.

[Victoria7]

"Hot....for my age", is better than being part of the background/wallpaper, which many people are as they get old. There basically is a consensuses definition of what hot is. Read a People magazine or a FHM magazine with an article on the hottest women, and that's western society's definition of hot. (generally applied by both men & women in their prime, but still aging men's definition of sexy is not too malleable ). Probably average age of the women is 25. You can't be hot all your life, and its a decline that is not unique to being female, but it hits them harder of course as they are judged for it more.

 

Unfortunately there is a big fall from grace, and that's the nature of a youth/beauty obsessed culture. It hurts more because of the over endowed benefits hot women get in their teens/20s/30s from being adored & praised & photographed & getting free perks + opportunities & more attention & fun with whoever they want practically & great options for marriage. Unfortunately its like a roller coaster climb up then down, which plain woman and majority of men don't experience. If you lived in non western parts of the world you would not be so admired for your beauty so aging would not effect your psyche so hard, but then you would miss out on the SATC life when you were younger.

 

I know a few women who were very much defined by their beauty & sex appeal and it meant a lot to them in their life and its hit them hard turning 40. One of them was a woman I worked with a couple of years back who complained that the office geeks stopped flirting with her now that she got a middle age spread. She would not have contemplated going out with them prior but missed them showing interest, but really only after the flirting in her life dried up. I do get it, but I'm sure the office geeks would have loved to have had 5% of the attention she used to get from her past tales she told me. '"Your still great looking...for your age' is still a compliment I reckon, though I know not to use that expression with women.

 

If I was given a choice I wouldn't have been brought up in a Western culture and instead, one where beauty and youth wasn't prized. I'm going through a spiritual transition - one that was ignited by nature.

[melodymatters]

My daughter called it "Aging Beauty Queen Syndrome" LOL ! And yes, it's quite the adjustment. I've still "got it" as well as a 20 yr younger husband, but I know my looks will fade and I hope my husband is not shallow enough that our deep, wonderful marriage and friendship of three years will fade with my looks !

 

BTW, just posted a pic in my album from last week. THIS is what 50 ( the brunette) and 47 (me) looks like today !

[Mysterio]

I feel like age is jagged for the most part. Its almost like you might as well say that your 20/30/40 etc gets stretched by 14 yrs or so. Like the decades bleed into each other.

 

For example. A 40 yr old is most likely to look 34. 50 yr old looks 42. Lets use actors. Denzel Washington will be 60 at the end of December. He physucally looks about 47 or so. Tom Cruise is 52. He looks more 42. I don't know someone that looks thier age completely right on.

 

My Yoga teacher looks 48 and she is 63. The lowest I got is 24 the highest is 36 and I am 43. Mind you I am a black male and I am clean shaven and shave my head. My voice is soft and boyish.

[LuvsTrucks2]

I don't feel my age. I also don't look my age. It's all a matter of how you feel and how you take care of yourself.