How do you know if you're good (or bad) looking?

[elseaacych]

I would consider myself okay looking. People tell me that I am "classically beautiful", and I did some portrait modeling as an undergraduate. But I look in the mirror and see my less flattering features.

 

However, I am also very busy, and a little lazy. My hair and makeup skills leave a lot to be desired, so my hair is often frizzy and my makeup nonexistent. So, I get "Are you sick?" just as often as "You look great today!"

 

I think it all has to do with how you present yourself.

 

As for guys, I never really got the height thing. My brothers are around 6'4, my ex was 5'7. I don't really notice height unless they fall outside of the 5'7-6'4 spectrum unless they draw attention to it. Then I'm like: "Oh, you are short/tall..."

[newmoon]

no one is as pretty, or ugly, as they think they are. we're all a 10 to someone and a 0 to someone else. it's subjective and if you "score" yourself you're looking for flaws and judging yourself against others.

[Bruce Leigh]

As for guys, I never really got the height thing. My brothers are around 6'4, my ex was 5'7. I don't really notice height unless they fall outside of the 5'7-6'4 spectrum unless they draw attention to it. Then I'm like: "Oh, you are short/tall..."

 

I brought this up earlier tonight with a group of 4 women at my local pub.

We were discussing Metallica and my suspect choice of tunes

I asked them about height preferences and they looked at me stupid.

First time i ever brought it up in conversation and i wish i had never bothered.

My current issue is younger women hitting on me.

I tell them i am nearly 39, they don't believe me ffs

[Imported]

we're all a 10 to someone and a 0 to someone else. it's subjective and if you "score" yourself you're looking for flaws and judging yourself against others.

 

Looks are subjective. People like to say that a lot.

 

Imagine 100 rooms. Each room has 10 single, availble women inside it that want to date.

 

Brad Pitt's twin goes into each of those 100 rooms and tries to get a girl to go out on a date with him. My guess is, with good mannerism and communication skills, he will probably pull 2+ girls per room that will agree to go out with him. Maybe a couple rooms he gets 1 or even none, but on average it will probably work out to him doing better than 2 per room.

 

Now, I can pick some ugly celebrity and say he tries the same thing, has the same mannerism and communication skills....what would the results be? If you actually think it will be anywhere close to someone that looks like Brad Pitt's, you are lieing to yourself. The less to much less attractive guy will find some one, maybe even a few someones, but his average will be no where near.

 

Looks are not that subjective. People just learn to appreaciate what they can get. Which is good, because you'll be happy (hopefully). People even learn to dislike what they know they can't get.

[soho]

no one is as pretty, or ugly, as they think they are. we're all a 10 to someone and a 0 to someone else. it's subjective and if you "score" yourself you're looking for flaws and judging yourself against others.

 

This is just false.

 

Even tough psychical appearance is not objective it is inter-subjective. Almost all people have the same general preferences. However, some deviations occur, a man that is a 10 for 1 person might be a 7 for another person (Brad Pitt for example). Someone who is a 3 for one person might be 5 for another person. The disagreement is perhaps about this interval, if it is wide or narrow.

Edited July 28, 2014 by soho

[Kid_Charlemange]

This is just false.

 

Even tough psychical appearance is not objective it is inter-subjective. Almost all people have the same general preferences. However, some deviations occur, a man that is a 10 for 1 person might be a 7 for another person (Brad Pitt for example). Someone who is a 3 for one person might be 5 for another person. The disagreement is perhaps about this interval, if it is wide or narrow.

 

That is exactly correct. On an individual basis, no, you can't make an absolute prediction that a person will be considered attractive, because there are exceptions that fall out of the bell curve. That is, if you take 100 women, 3 will say Brad Pitt is not attractive. Or some small, statistically insignificant number. And the bigger the sampling size, the more accurate the number will become. And it doesn't matter if Paul Giamatti is even more charming than Brad Pitt (and younger, btw), he's not going to get the same numbers.

 

I did this myself, and documented it in a thread earlier (and got reamed for doing so). Created a near-twin of my profile on OKC, except "dumbed it down" a little, and used a good-looking friend's photos (with his permission) instead of my own. The difference is responses to the same women were staggering.

 

Looks matters. Are they all that matter? No, of course not. At least not for most people.

[soho]

That is exactly correct. On an individual basis, no, you can't make an absolute prediction that a person will be considered attractive, because there are exceptions that fall out of the bell curve. That is, if you take 100 women, 3 will say Brad Pitt is not attractive. Or some small, statistically insignificant number. And the bigger the sampling size, the more accurate the number will become. And it doesn't matter if Paul Giamatti is even more charming than Brad Pitt (and younger, btw), he's not going to get the same numbers.

 

I did this myself, and documented it in a thread earlier (and got reamed for doing so). Created a near-twin of my profile on OKC, except "dumbed it down" a little, and used a good-looking friend's photos (with his permission) instead of my own. The difference is responses to the same women were staggering.

 

Looks matters. Are they all that matter? No, of course not. At least not for most people.

Interesting experiment. You also see this pattern in everyday life. People just listen more to good looking people, and often ignore what ugly people say. One must be naive to not see this pattern. I happens all the time.

Edited July 28, 2014 by soho

[soho]

During the last weeks my toughts have begun to change regarding my apperance. I no longer see myself as ugly, rather as average or slightly above average. I happy that I started this tread, which got me in the right direction (I think). I have also learned from other forums that not knowing if one look good or bad (in general) and feeling very anxius about it is a sign of body dysmorphic disorder. Also, I think that I have slightly overestimated the value of good looks. I do not think my relationship problems are related to my looks anymore.

 

Also, now I think one can get reliable feedback from friends and family, if one really press them to be honest. The anonymus feedback I got from people watching photos of me corresponds to the feedback I got from my family.

Edited August 16, 2014 by soho

[Disillusioned]

I have the aluminium ratio.... not quite as precious, but cheaper, more useful and versatile, and not deserving of the damaging mythical reputation I have garnered....

 

Mine is more like the stainless steel ratio... I take abuse to the point of being other people's fall guy, but for some unknown reason I never rust or bust...

[Moe'sTavern]

By how much interest I get from the opposite sex. Which in my case: is barely any. It is what it is.

Edited August 17, 2014 by Moe'sTavern

[MGX]

By how much interest I get from the opposite sex. Which in my case: is barely any. It is what it is.

 

That's what I go by.

 

If lots of the opposite sex notice or like you, then you must be attractive. If not, then you are probably ugly or physically unappealing in some way.

[Revolver]

If no woman outside your family has called you attractive by I would say 20 your probably not