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Do modern women hit on men or approach men first?


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Did it work?

 

Sometimes sarcasm doesn't come across well via text.

 

She wasn't flirting. She was making sure that I knew that the only reason she was coming near me was because she needed to get her bag. Sweet gal.

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Sometimes sarcasm doesn't come across well via text.

 

She wasn't flirting. She was making sure that I knew that the only reason she was coming near me was because she needed to get her bag. Sweet gal.

Sounds like a sht test to me. I'd be flattered.

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Bruce Leigh
Your dancing skills for sure would have helped. Its a definite bonus if you hang out in clubland. I had a look at dance lessons at one point, but they all seemed to be for salsa or old time dance styles, and not house/techno/top 40 R&B style, and I just don't naturally have good rhythm & was self conscious when dancing unless I really drunk or the dance floor was packed and dark/strobby..

 

I think most men have it all wrong when it comes to hitting the dance floor.

Its not the fact that they think haven't got the moves or are self conscious about it.

Its the fact that will they refuse to get on the dance floor at all.

Get out on the dance floor and smile and laugh when you do so.

I laugh at my friends when they say that I can't dance but don't have any problem attracting women on the dance floor.

I just tell them that I am not stuck on the side lines, worrying about what other people think.

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Yes - and they did even 20 years ago. Not a ton, but I have had more than a handful be very direct with me in my life. It has gone through phases for me over my years - ups and downs in being approached.

 

In between marriages, I gave up hitting (contacting) women on OLD, because I seemed to strike out, and so I just let women hit (contact) me on the dating sites and that worked better. Women know what they like and are not afraid to express it.

 

But if I was ever single again - I would have more fun with the approaching.

Edited by dichotomy
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It may have happened to me during junior or high-school. However I saw those "hit-ons" as teasing (in a more making-fun-of matter).

But since high-school no girl has hit on me.

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High school girls are strange that way. Stuck in the middle of being teasing kids and seductive adults. I didn't have the confidence to hit on guys until I was older. In high school, I tried to be "cool" and detached like I didn't care. Of course, I did and so do the girls you know. Just be confident and show interest. Tease them a bit like you did as kids. Compliment them.

 

To the OP, I used to approach guys all the time, but I have to say the guys I "caught" turned out to be lazy boyfriends. Now, I prefer a guy who puts in the work to get to know me. So I will smile and maybe start a conversation, but he better pick up the ball and do the asking out or asking for my number.

 

If a girl smiles and talks to you, she may be interested, or she may be friendly. Treat them as the same, and respond in a friendly manner. Learn to read social cues. If she wants to keep the conversation going, you will sense it and can take it up a notch, by asking to talk with her again later. So, you will need get number. Or if she mentions an event or activity, as in "I love to run," then you can offer yourself up as a running buddy.

 

Bottom line, just be friendly and open to connect. If she's not interested, then you've only come off as friendly. If she is interested, then friendliness is a good start!

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Do modern women hit on men or approach men first?

I rarely get him on by ladies. Gotta still do all the approaching.

 

I think they do, based on observation but, in my demographic and generation, so far anyway, and respecting the very clear description of 'a girl smiles and talks to you', whether relevant to friendship or romance, I struggle to remember an otherwise unknown person beginning any interaction in that way. My recollections are, predominantly, being thrust together in interactions by other means (social introductions, mutual interests, voluntary associations, etc) and any such behaviors resulting from those, in all cases I can recall, have been from married, as opposed to single, women. A few became good friends since I am, indeed, friends first and interact in that manner when in such situations.

 

Hence, apparently like the OP, I 'gotta do all the approaching' so, as the example of the last five years or so have proven, no approaching, no romance. I did 'approach' some ladies while separated and did date during that time but, once I stopped, it stopped. That's how it goes!

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I have. I'd had a crush on a collegue at work for approx. 2 yrs and eventually stole his cell.ph no and text him with "Hi ya handsome".

I revealed who I was pretty quickly, he was intrigued and we got to know each other pretty well. There was never going to be a serious bf/gf relationship between us, but we had a load of fun together as secret FWB's.:cool:

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A lot of women seem to be very defensive about meeting men. Apparently the "players" have soured a lot of women on cold contacts. My sb says she would never talk with someone she doesn't already know, as a potential date. Going back, she even trusted the men she saw while working as an escort more than someone she met randomly in public. But we were heavily screened before joining the club [which is where I met her].

 

 

I was telling her how I met my first fiancée while we were filling our cars at a gas station. She was shocked that any woman would be willing to give a man her phone number under those circumstances.

 

 

As for dancing: I always thought it was boring. There seems to be a general perception that most men don't dance because they can't. I think that most of us just don't want to. In fact, it has been explained to me by one young man that most men who dance, are gay. He pointed to a number of men who were dancing, and I have to admit, I think he was right!

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2.50 a gallon

Dancing is boring? Have you ever gone into a highfalutin office, like a bank vice president, and they have this sex goddess as a receptionist. And you think to yourself if only I could take her to dinner. Or wondered what would it be like to spend one night with her. During the disco days, I got to find out.

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Dancing is boring? Have you ever gone into a highfalutin office, like a bank vice president, and they have this sex goddess as a receptionist. And you think to yourself if only I could take her to dinner. Or wondered what would it be like to spend one night with her. During the disco days, I got to find out.

 

Men have always danced to get laid. No big news there. I did it as well. That doesn't mean I really wanted to. I would have rather done something interesting.

 

Disco :laugh: Yes, I had the Angel Flight pants and fruit boots. And I was then considered to be blessed with a hairy chest. All I needed was the gold chains hanging from my neck and I could have been Middle Eastern or Latino. :lmao:

Edited by Robert Z
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Bruce Leigh

Probably doing myself a disservice by saying i can't dance because i can.

I have been told countless times that i can dance but that is beside the point.

Blame clubbing for that, and drugs !!

I'll go on holiday, be the only person awake at 5am and be dancing my "tits off" in my underwear around reception of the hotel i am staying in!!!

But only because i don't care :D

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