Author Diezel Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 She'll get the apartment tour, for sure, before we head out. In hindsight, the first date "mistake" is now just a retraction, in the bigger scheme of things, it doesn't matter anymore. But now, she also knows what kind of compliments she would be getting from me. So, I guess it sets a nice, sexy precedent. @Gaeta - It's been very smooth, and easy. I don't remember the last time I was allowed to pick the first three venues, with no resistance and maximum enthusiasm from the other person. #4, we had planned something else. I changed what we were doing... in a way to see how she would react, but also because legitimately, I wanted to go to the new place. I think it came across from my excitement over the phone. @Versacehottie - I definitely didn't ask. I'd never do that. I'd rather ask for forgiveness than permission anyway. But at the time, I thought it sounded "sort of" as if I was asking. And there are schools of thought against complimenting. I'm not against it, but just as you said, as long as it is done with confidence and in the proper context, I am all for it. I just don't want half of our date being filled with how beautiful I think she is. I can keep those thoughts to myself! Definitely looking forward to tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
CharlieFox Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 So funny, is there a handbook that tells some cool guys that they shouldn't be complimenting girls? I feel like i've seen that position from guys on here several times. If you're a confident guy, being able to give a compliment (i guess where guys perceive that they are being vulnerable) is a great thing. And we just think highly of you for doing that. If it is is done when you are not confident and you are trying to sway us or act like we are out of your league, well it's not terrible but not going to change our minds with compliments. Well I, for one, like to give compliments when I really feel it, and I'm very specific about it. Like, I will always tell I like her hair, or her dress, or something particular, not just "you're beautiful". I wouldn't keep repeating the same things just to make a girl confident and reassure her I like her or she looks good. If I like her or I enjoy her company, there's no need to constantly remind her I find her attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 This is great, Diezel. Have fun on your next date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Diezel Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 Fourth Date Report: She was about 25 minutes late, but she had told me she was really late, so I was find with it. I was here at my apartment anyway. I'll preface my report by saying that she has naturally curly hair (Wavy), but on our third date, I made a throwaway comment about her having the type of hair that probably looks good both straight and curly. I didn't even think about it being a significant thing... just an honest observation. Well, as she pulls up into the driveway, I understand... she seriously spent some time on getting that hair straight. I was surprised, and it looked really good. Let her know immediately. Unfortunately, her being late meant we had to go right away. I drove to the brewery with her, took the tour, had some samples and was having a good time. The chemistry between the two of us is off the charts. Since our drinking window was reduced and hurried (It closes at 5 and we got there at 3:30), we were a little buzzed and I walked her down the street to a marina where one of my favorite bars/restaurants ever is at. After walking down the marina and coming back to the bar, we sat down and had a few beers and a meal. The breeze coming in from the ocean was amazing, the sun was starting to set. We walked down after, and stood by the shore as the sun was coming down. It was absolutely perfect. We walked back and I took a scenic route back to my apartment and asked if she wanted the tour now... And that's where my storytime ends, ladies and gents...I am a gentleman after all. We've set Date #5 for next Friday. The high level of interest on her behalf is completely electrifying. I've never met someone this into me without being psychologically scarred. It's amazing. I could say JUMP and she'd be already coming back down asking HOW HIGH AGAIN!? It helps that we are both dating throwbacks. Not a single door was opened by her, I had them all. I pull the chair for her and help her in. I've been nothing but a gentleman and she's told me how unusual it is to find someone like that in this day and age. There are so many things about her, that are just the same. I really like that she is very family-centric as well. It's a huge factor in her life, and a positive one for me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Sounds super exciting Is there a reason you only have 1 date week? does she live far? Also how often do you communicate in between dates? Link to post Share on other sites
Stumble Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I personally think 1 date a week is great when you have just begun dating. Maybe first 3/4 dates. It leaves days for you to get excited about and look forward to the date. If you have 2/3 dates in a week it doesn't have that mystery of the other person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Diezel Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 The reason why I did 1 date for next week after doing 4 in about 2.5 weeks is to kind of slow it down. I don't want to go TOO fast and get all of the exciting stuff done in less than a month. I want to take my time and let this simmer a bit. Specially after last night. I also do have a legit reason that I can't do anything this week. Technically, I COULD, but I have to focus on THAT before anything else. She does know that too, so when I posited Friday, she understood and was immediately excited about Friday and my coming week. I think we communicate every 2 days, pretty much. Thursday we spoke on the phone for 15 minutes. Friday, we didn't talk at all. Saturday we went out. Today we probably won't talk. So maybe Monday/Tuesday. I don't want to get into the "talk everyday" threshold yet. I like my space and my timing. It's not even about playing "Mr Unavailable" but I have my own stuff and things to take care of, as does she. I like to establish boundaries as well. We probably did as many dates in those two weeks because of the "something good" that we celebrated and we happened to have some similar free days available. I just want to enjoy this process and let it evolve on its own. We live 20 minutes away from each other. So far, all of our dates have been either by me or a halfway place for us. I told her that on Friday we are going to her area and she's going to show me around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I had not realized your first 4 dates were back to back. When I date someone I have serious intentions towards I like his attention to escalate a little after intimacy. You sure she's not on a forum somewhere today wondering why after 4 dates back to back you don't find time to see her for 7 days after sex Link to post Share on other sites
Author Diezel Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 I doubt it, but maybe I'll run into her post here and give her some advice on how to be patient and know that the wait will be worth the while. Like I said though, it is a legitimate reason. I have the biggest week of my "life" this week and I need to focus on it. Of course, I will call and text her in the interim. I really do like this girl and am not playing the disappearing act on her. We shared a sunset, doesn't that bind us at least another 7 days!? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I think one date per week is plenty for at least the first six to eight weeks, especially if the feelings are very strong or if you're fresh out of a previous relationship. Of course, when the magic is there you're tempted to rush into it immediately, but it's better to take your time and give each other space. That way you can evaluate your nascent relationship with a clear head. You'll know when it's time to go deeper. It sounds like things are going well for you! Keep us posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Diezel Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 I did text her today to let her know I had a really good time last night. But yeah, as much as I would love to see her again before Friday, I am sticking to Friday. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I did text her today to let her know I had a really good time last night. But yeah, as much as I would love to see her again before Friday, I am sticking to Friday. Contacting her today was a must, you were intimate last night. ALWAYS contact the lady you were intimate with the following day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Diezel Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 Contacting her today was a must, you were intimate last night. ALWAYS contact the lady you were intimate with the following day. I know, I really wasn't thinking about that this morning. Went out for an afternoon lunch/beer and was like, "Oh hell, we had sex last night, I REALLY need to at least say I had a great time." Sometimes it's so good, you forget the basics. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I doubt it, but maybe I'll run into her post here and give her some advice on how to be patient and know that the wait will be worth the while. Like I said though, it is a legitimate reason. I have the biggest week of my "life" this week and I need to focus on it. Of course, I will call and text her in the interim. I really do like this girl and am not playing the disappearing act on her. We shared a sunset, doesn't that bind us at least another 7 days!? I think the key is that Diezel "set-up" the next date before he left. Then it wouldn't bother me that it was 7 days. It's the good kind of wait, ie exactly what he is trying to create. If he hadn't booked the date, then it's the much more common scenario that make a girl feel insecure or bad about the guy. I'm especially understanding when the reason is his ambition and progressing his career because that's an attractive reason. Glad it is going so well! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Diezel Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 Exactly. We were halfway through #4 when we set #5. I'm not oblivious to the fact that she's done most of the driving, so I wanted to be fair and come to her neck of the woods. But yeah, the creation of anticipation is definitely there, alive, well and kicking. Big week for me so I think Friday night will be the perfect cap and release by being able to go out and see her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Diezel Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 We were texting a little bit today (probably about 4 texts each, I guess). She asked if I had any plans tomorrow, that I should celebrate what's happening on Wednesday. Honestly, I don't know if this was a test or what... but I declined. I stated a valid reason and said I was looking forward to Friday and that we can celerbate then. I really said no, because I had already established that this week was majorly important for me. As much as I would LOVE to see her and have a drink or two and maybe repeat some of Saturday, I also thought it was important to establish and reiterate the focus/space I need for the rest of this week. I do honestly have the time to see her tomorrow, but getting a good night's rest and being mentally focused for Wednesday is of the utmost importance. I do like that she was trying to see me sooner than Friday though, definitely shows really high interest on her behalf, and probably echoes some of what was said here as to why wait 7 days... but still, I do have my priorities with or without her in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Diezel Posted July 30, 2014 Author Share Posted July 30, 2014 Still very excited for Friday, we've texted a few times and she wished me luck for today. Just 48 more hours and we'll get to go out and have a few drinks and dinner. Definitely looking forward to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Diezel Posted August 1, 2014 Author Share Posted August 1, 2014 We spoke on the phone last night (Because the hell with texting). Apparently I am picking her up at her house tonight. Um, I had to ask her twice if she was sure about that. She is. She lives at her parents house with ALL of her family. I have no idea right now if I am legit meeting the family or if she is walking outside to my car. Have I been transported back to 1955? I'm not even remotely ready for meeting her family and I don't remember being in this position for years. I'll just play it by ear, but even if she does walk to the car, I know they will ALL be watching out of a window. Have to absolutely remember to walk out of the car and open the door for her. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 We spoke on the phone last night (Because the hell with texting). Apparently I am picking her up at her house tonight. Um, I had to ask her twice if she was sure about that. She is. She lives at her parents house with ALL of her family. I have no idea right now if I am legit meeting the family or if she is walking outside to my car. Have I been transported back to 1955? I'm not even remotely ready for meeting her family and I don't remember being in this position for years. I'll just play it by ear, but even if she does walk to the car, I know they will ALL be watching out of a window. Have to absolutely remember to walk out of the car and open the door for her. Ha! That’s great! And I mean it! Nothing wrong with 1955 and you can meet her parents. How can you not be ready? Heck, in 1975, the good “boys” always came to the door every single time- especially for the first date- rang the doorbell, came in and sat for a few minutes with the parents for basic chit chat before you left for a date. Absolutely standard, and a sign of respect for her and her family. You must go to the door. "Boys" who don't go to the door, or worse yet, who honked from the street or driveway, were a no-go, sketchy. If every 16 year old in the 70's could and did do it, it'll be a piece of cake for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 We spoke on the phone last night (Because the hell with texting). Apparently I am picking her up at her house tonight. Um, I had to ask her twice if she was sure about that. She is. She lives at her parents house with ALL of her family. I have no idea right now if I am legit meeting the family or if she is walking outside to my car. Have I been transported back to 1955? I'm not even remotely ready for meeting her family and I don't remember being in this position for years. I'll just play it by ear, but even if she does walk to the car, I know they will ALL be watching out of a window. Have to absolutely remember to walk out of the car and open the door for her. Meeting the family means nothing nowadays. I would say meeting each others children is a big step but meeting other adult family members is quite casual. Link to post Share on other sites
johnson_j Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 Congratulations man, I enjoyed reading this story. Link to post Share on other sites
Stumble Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Meeting the parents after 4th date would scare me, it is still a big deal for me to meet parents. But I don't think she was expecting you to meet the parents when you're picking her up Link to post Share on other sites
azjane85331 Posted August 5, 2014 Share Posted August 5, 2014 New here and enjoying your story. Any updates? Link to post Share on other sites
sea shells Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 I would like to know updates as well!! Link to post Share on other sites
CharlieFox Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Any updates on your story, Diezel? I would love to know how it went/goes. Link to post Share on other sites
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