The State Of The Union for the Struggling Dudes

[Badsingularity]

 

It will fall on deaf ears unfortunately so ultimately a waste of time.

 

Very true of some of the posters here, but sometimes I post knowing that the poster will probably not listen, but hoping it could help some guys that are lurking here that don't post.

 

Very rarely a guy will come here and actually listen to me and start working with some of the advice I give him...maybe like once a year:laugh:...they usually stop posting here pretty quick. Hopefully because they are out there in the real world working on improving.

[R3d]

Look at the list of things in my previous post. Do any of those apply to you?

 

a, b, and d did.

 

Coincidentally, I had 3 long-term crushes last semester, meaning I really wanted them as opposed to some other girls that I just thought were "hot", and none of them were interested. Actually with one of them, it was over when I said "hi".

 

Then again, it wasn't at the end of the semester. Actually, I haven't tried since like late April or early May. I just didn't have the time and I also found out that cold approach is not viable in high school (though topaMAXX has now made this point debatable which I plan on starting a thread here about in the near future).

Edited July 1, 2014 by R3d

[somedude81]

a, b, and d did.

 

Coincidentally, I had 3 long-term crushes last semester, meaning I really wanted them as opposed to some other girls that I just thought were "hot", and none of them were interested. Actually with one of them, it was over when I said "hi".

 

Then again, it wasn't at the end of the semester. Actually, I haven't tried since like late April or early May. I just didn't have the time and I also found out that cold approach is not viable in high school (though topaMAXX has now made this point debatable which I plan on starting a thread here about in the near future).

Well a and the second d are pretty generic.

 

b was just a coincidence it seems.

[KaliLove]

a, b, and d did.

 

Coincidentally, I had 3 long-term crushes last semester, meaning I really wanted them as opposed to some other girls that I just thought were "hot", and none of them were interested. Actually with one of them, it was over when I said "hi".

 

Then again, it wasn't at the end of the semester. Actually, I haven't tried since like late April or early May. I just didn't have the time and I also found out that cold approach is not viable in high school (though topaMAXX has now made this point debatable which I plan on starting a thread here about in the near future).

 

Why are you putting so much stock in what that one poster has to say and completely ignoring what everyone else is telling you?

[R3d]

Why are you putting so much stock in what that one poster has to say and completely ignoring what everyone else is telling you?

 

Because those "people" were guys on PUA forums. I never actually got an opinion on that matter on this forum, except from you and topaMAXX, which is why I opened another thread about this to get more opinions from people here.

[Revolver]

Was going to post this too. "How to get a man" advice for women is as old as the hills and is ubiquitous. Pop-culture-style dating advice for men is new, relatively.

 

This is so true when you think about it.

Edited July 1, 2014 by Revolver

[Badsingularity]

I'm sorry, but looks are number one for most women out there. It only takes a couple mins of research on LS to find all the threads started by women talking about how chemistry is the most important thing in a partner.

 

You can also find plenty of posts from women talking about how they've had strong chemistry with or have been very sexually attracted to a guy even though he was not really good looking.

 

Chemistry for women involves more than just looks.

[Badsingularity]

Show me all the ugly guys who inspire chemistry in women. I'll wait.

 

I'm talking about average looking guys. Guys that would not be considered really good looking, but not ugly either. I also wouldn't completely rule out an ugly guys ability to do it.

 

How about fat guys? Would you put them in the ugly category.

[iiiii]

Chemistry is important. Chemistry is what makes you want to shag a guy, not just be his buddy.

 

Chemistry is not just about looks - although looks can be a big part of it. Chemistry comes from the way a guy holds himself... the way he smells "right" to you... the way he looks at you... the way you feel around him.

 

Chemistry is very individual. My guy isn't a "pin up". But he's mmmm to me.

 

PS, I know several tubby guys with cute girlfriends.

[R3d]

Which is more unattractive to women in general? Fat (as in obese) or short? A question I have always had that I never remember to ask until now.

[Badsingularity]

Average looking guys should be able to get average looking women.

 

Average looking guys with exceptional charm and confidence can attract beautiful women.

 

This question should be asked of the ladies. I will mention that every fat guy I'm friends with is single.

 

I'm a fat guy right now and have no problem attracting women.

Looks are are only part of the equation.

Edited July 2, 2014 by Badsingularity

[preraph]

Why should men not try and date women who are younger or good looking? Consensus advice online is to "never settle." Or is that advice only for the ladies?

 

When I say don't settle, which I haven't done in my answer so not sure why you're bringing it up, I would be referring not just to looks but especially to women who settle for men who aren't even nice to them and don't help with anything. Why did you assume settling is only about looks? Also, I do think someone is better off alone than to be with someone they don't like who treats them bad and that they aren't attracted to enough to be happy with.

 

After being on this forum, I see so many posts about guys mad and perplexed they can't attract the hottest women, and I just think they're still going to be struggling 10 years from now because there's only a few of those women but millions of average guys. And the best looking/nicest women are going to take their pick and be off the market in no time. I just hate to see people spin their wheels that way.

 

When old men get young women, it's usually because they've been willing to accept lower qualities in other areas to get one that's young. Of course there are exceptions. But that's a personal choice old guys mainly with money or fame can make and some of them are happy that way because they value one thing in a woman above all else. I can't relate to either the men or the women who participate in that. Again, there are exceptions. And for them I wish them well. I've only personally seen one healthy happy May/December romance and that was a 13 year age difference. He looked like a move star and catered to her every whim and she also looked like a movie star and was a great cook and homemaker. He was even recruited during WWII by Hollywood but was too shy to want to do it. She is my favorite aunt, now widowed, of course, but they had a long run.

[Badsingularity]

Chemistry is important. Chemistry is what makes you want to shag a guy, not just be his buddy.

 

Chemistry is not just about looks - although looks can be a big part of it. Chemistry comes from the way a guy holds himself... the way he smells "right" to you... the way he looks at you... the way you feel around him.

 

Chemistry is very individual. My guy isn't a "pin up". But he's mmmm to me.

 

PS, I know several tubby guys with cute girlfriends.

 

I've tried explaining this to many guys over and over and most of the time they don't believe me. Maybe hearing it from a woman will help.

[ThaWholigan]

I've tried explaining this to many guys over and over and most of the time they don't believe me. Maybe hearing it from a woman will help.

It probably won't. They will convince themselves and every argument will be futile . Let their perception of reality be, that's what I say. I'm done trying to help!

 

Chemistry does matter though - I dated a girl who mostly dated white guys, yet she was attracted to me anyway. I was far from her "type" but the chemistry was there.

[MidwestUSA]

It probably won't. They will convince themselves and every argument will be futile . Let their perception of reality be, that's what I say. I'm done trying to help!

 

 

I need a dollar for every time I've seen you post 'I'm done trying to help'!

[ThaWholigan]

I need a dollar for every time I've seen you post 'I'm done trying to help'!

True!

[ltjg45]

You say that like it's a big secret. I would think it rather obvious that exceptional people could attract other exceptional people.

 

What? All it takes for a woman to be exceptional is only to be beautiful?

 

I doubt it. If that's the case, I wouldn't be single right now because I have seen my fair share of beautiful women (at least to me) that I don't even want to associate with.

[KaliLove]

Chemistry is important. Chemistry is what makes you want to shag a guy, not just be his buddy.

 

Chemistry is not just about looks - although looks can be a big part of it. Chemistry comes from the way a guy holds himself... the way he smells "right" to you... the way he looks at you... the way you feel around him.

 

Chemistry is very individual. My guy isn't a "pin up". But he's mmmm to me.

 

PS, I know several tubby guys with cute girlfriends.

 

I like a guy with a belly!! I'm not into muscles.

[ltjg45]

Beauty=exceptional looks.

 

True.....but exceptional looks doesn't equal to exceptional people. Well, maybe to the males that only value looks in a woman and nothing else but to the other guys, it takes more than that.

 

I wouldn't go anywhere near a woman with exceptional looks if she has a raging attitude to back it up. I leave her for the douchebags.

[somedude81]

I like a guy with a belly!! I'm not into muscles.

 

Lol really?

 

Next thing we know you'll say you're into short guys

 

How old are you anyways?

[Glinda.Good]

You can also find plenty of posts from women talking about how they've had strong chemistry with or have been very sexually attracted to a guy even though he was not really good looking.

 

Chemistry for women involves more than just looks.

 

This is SO very true. And take note of how many times it is refuted by MEN here. Almost never by women.

 

YES many of us need chemistry, and NO, it's not necessarily generated by handsome tallness.

 

I swear!

[Glinda.Good]

Average looking guys should be able to get average looking women.

 

They "should"? Says who?

 

There are SO many couples where the man is far beneath the woman in looks … do you go around with your eyes closed?

 

Not everybody is into this hysteria of comparisons as a lot of you fellows are. People fall for other people who are in their lives for a plethora of reasons. They are all around you, all the time, unless you actually live in a club filled with bridge and tunnel people, and never leave it.

[ltjg45]

My original comment, "I would think it rather obvious that exceptional people could attract other exceptional people." Was about exceptionally charming people getting involved with beautiful (people with exceptional looks) people.

 

Not sure why you're quoting me here.

 

The only reason why I quoted you was because of the quote you responsed to was saying something about attracting beautiful women and you responded by linking beautiful women to exceptional people, which I challenged.

[somedude81]

They "should"? Says who?

 

There are SO many couples where the man is far beneath the woman in looks … do you go around with your eyes closed?

 

Not everybody is into this hysteria of comparisons as a lot of you fellows are. People fall for other people who are in their lives for a plethora of reasons. They are all around you, all the time, unless you actually live in a club filled with bridge and tunnel people, and never leave it.

 

There are also many couples where the guy is much better looking than the woman. In the vast majority of those she's overweight, he isn't.

 

The average guys are are just complaining that they can't get an average girl. I swear I'm not holding about for Kate Upton.

[preraph]

I think a lot of us would like a dollar for every time our advice has been shunted aside. That's because what people mostly want is validation that how they are going about things is right and the fact they're failing or faltering doesn't mean they're wrong but that everyone else is.