shoegal4 Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Michael93 - I'm right there with you. You aren't alone in how you feel. Please know that. Chi town - your advice is always spot on and I always appreciate your input. Always right on the money. Teach me your ways!! lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Michael 93 Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 ^^^^ Sorry to be harsh. But, I wanted you to see that she isn't worth your time or effort. That those energies could be spent on more positive things. You know contacting her only leads to more hurt. For someone to be that brazen with you can only tell you that she could give a rats ass about you. But, when Bouncer Boy comes off the door and starts walking around being a "Lad" again (LOL!), he might not be bothered with her. Then, she might come snooping around to discover that you've been to Venice and (hopefully) Paris and having amazing adventures while she's been kicking it with a dude that just wants to party, get drunk, get stoned and basically pissing away all his money and being a waste of space. And you can confidently say, "Oh well! Her Loss!" and move on! That is the plan. I will never wish any bad on her. I think not knowing what she has potentially been up to has helped immensely. We never know she may not even be with this guy any more. I'm determined to try and be the best person I can be, partly from your guidance I have changed so much already so for that thanks lol. I'm just hoping that If I continue to improve and make positive changes in my life the rest will fall into place. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Michael93 - I'm right there with you. You aren't alone in how you feel. Please know that. Chi town - your advice is always spot on and I always appreciate your input. Always right on the money. Teach me your ways!! lol LOL! No special trick. This is just some of the stuff this crazy bitch has done to him. Some of the things he's already told us. Just, sometimes we just need to be REMINDED of the things that were done to us. A motivational trip to remind us why we're in NC in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 You've made progress, but damn dude, the first time she sent a bone in your direction you caved. C'mon dude. Stop trying to project a front to her and just protect yourself. Once again, you got in trouble because you were overly concerned about putting out an image for her instead of taking care of yourself. You need to stop caving and doing that stuff. This was completely self-inflicted punishment and came about because you still put her above yourself after all she's put you through (just read Chi's post over and over if you need reminders). You have to stop doing this crap to yourself man. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Michael 93 Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 You've made progress, but damn dude, the first time she sent a bone in your direction you caved. C'mon dude. Stop trying to project a front to her and just protect yourself. Once again, you got in trouble because you were overly concerned about putting out an image for her instead of taking care of yourself. You need to stop caving and doing that stuff. This was completely self-inflicted punishment and came about because you still put her above yourself after all she's put you through (just read Chi's post over and over if you need reminders). You have to stop doing this crap to yourself man. @Simon Phoenix Damn Simon. Every single time man :lmao: Id love to know what I have done to you at some point lol!! I didn't respond with any sort of text or anything like that. I thought that by ignoring her It will show me as weak and unable to handle anything, whereas I knew too much contact would be disastrous. So I handled it the best way I could which would show me being unfazed and still kinda funny. Seriously you should see the meme its hilarious. What I'm struggling to understand is why she did that? And surely that little episode couldn't of given her any sort of ego boost or power!!? If so how is that possible? I hate when you shoot me down in Flames haha. By the way I saw your story about the World Cup party and you bumping into your ex. That was a good read. Mike Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 (edited) [quote=Michael 93;5818833 What I'm struggling to understand is why she did that? And surely that little episode couldn't of given her any sort of ego boost or power!!? If so how is that possible? The answer is easy when you think about it. Dumper's trigger just like dumpee's. She probably thought, "Oh look! Titanic is on! I remember the one time I was watching it with Mike. We were cuddling on the couch and I was wearing these track suit trousers with a jumper and these thick fuzzy socks and it was cold and snowing outside and I was on the couch with Mike and we were sharing a tub of popcorn. AH! That was a good and relaxing night." Girls LOVE to talk about crap and bouncer boy probably wasn't around. So, she had to tell someone. She probably thought that you would enjoy that memory too and not think that everything was so bad between the two of you. You did share some good times. But, they don't realize that it's going to have the opposite effect on a dumpee. We tend to think, "You heartless bitch! Here I am trying to get over you and you want to bring crap like that to the table?" Edited July 24, 2014 by Chi townD Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 @Simon Phoenix Damn Simon. Every single time man :lmao: Id love to know what I have done to you at some point lol!! I didn't respond with any sort of text or anything like that. I thought that by ignoring her It will show me as weak and unable to handle anything, whereas I knew too much contact would be disastrous. So I handled it the best way I could which would show me being unfazed and still kinda funny. Seriously you should see the meme its hilarious. What I'm struggling to understand is why she did that? And surely that little episode couldn't of given her any sort of ego boost or power!!? If so how is that possible? I hate when you shoot me down in Flames haha. By the way I saw your story about the World Cup party and you bumping into your ex. That was a good read. Mike Your problem isn't what you sent -- it's the fact that you felt the need to send anything at all. You did this because you are still thinking about how she perceives you. Your mindset is still wrong. You are still overly concerned with how this woman, a woman who did you dirty, perceives you. That isn't good. I don't really care if the text gave her power or not -- that doesn't concern me. What concerns me is the fact that you are still overthinking, still trying to project a certain image to a woman who, quite honestly, couldn't give two s--ts. You are still trying to figure her out. STOP!! There's nothing to figure out. Control what you can control, which is yourself. You have made progress (quite a bit of it), but your mind is still in the wrong place and you are still not ready to handle contact with her. The World Cup story that I told (which I had to think about for a second to remember what you were talking about) was something that I never thought would have been possible when I was in your shoes. But I stayed away from contact and recovered to the point where she became another person. I wasn't trying to put on a front, I didn't have a game plan, I just acted normal. You aren't there yet, which isn't a big deal, but stop trying to rush it. You are making progress, but your mindset is still not where it has to be for you to succeed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Michael 93 Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 Your problem isn't what you sent -- it's the fact that you felt the need to send anything at all. You did this because you are still thinking about how she perceives you. Your mindset is still wrong. You are still overly concerned with how this woman, a woman who did you dirty, perceives you. That isn't good. I don't really care if the text gave her power or not -- that doesn't concern me. What concerns me is the fact that you are still overthinking, still trying to project a certain image to a woman who, quite honestly, couldn't give two s--ts. You are still trying to figure her out. STOP!! There's nothing to figure out. Control what you can control, which is yourself. You have made progress (quite a bit of it), but your mind is still in the wrong place and you are still not ready to handle contact with her. The World Cup story that I told (which I had to think about for a second to remember what you were talking about) was something that I never thought would have been possible when I was in your shoes. But I stayed away from contact and recovered to the point where she became another person. I wasn't trying to put on a front, I didn't have a game plan, I just acted normal. You aren't there yet, which isn't a big deal, but stop trying to rush it. You are making progress, but your mindset is still not where it has to be for you to succeed. I have to agree with you there. I am a bit worried about that now to be honest because I've been working as hard as I can on it. Could you explain a bit more about the mind set please. I really don't want to lose this battle. @Simon Phoenix Link to post Share on other sites
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