, Regret, or Stringing me along?

[BunnybooXO]

Okay so, last week, my ex boyfriend broke up with me... through text. Not sure what went wrong but he said that he was breaking up with me because he thought he was "causing me problems". But I said he wasn't, it was something at home, and I got through it. We were perfectly fine but he didn't listen. Later that day of the breakup, after all the apologizing, long explanation paragraphs, he tells me.... He's dating someone new. I just.. looked shocked and felt kinda worse, and it was less than day.. So quickly. Not a month, a week, a day after the breakup. So now I'm thinking, oh he probably met this girl while we were together. And before the breakup he even asked how would I feel if he had feelings towards another girl. So maybe his real reason of the breakup was that he found someone else. Later that week, we got into a big argument. I was just still unclear of what happened so my friend (his friend too) decided to tell him that and we got into an argument. He and I said things we would've never said to each other before. But the things he said.. were pretty harsh. Then 3 days later he asked my best friend if I was alright and that he didn't mean the things he said. He told her he said those things to make me feel like he's out of my life for good. So she got him and I to apologize to each other. He told me he still cared about me and wants to be friends again. I didn't what I wanted at the moment so I just said ok... After that we didn't talk.

 

 

This week, I'm actually feeling so much better than before, with all the help and support from all my friends. Few days ago, I attended to a graduation ceremony. He was there and he saw me all happy and hyper around all my friends. I didn't pay attention to him and I wasn't trying to prove anything to him at all. Later that day when I got home, I got a text from my best friend, showing me screenshots of their conversation. In short of all the screenshots, he was telling my friend, that he wanted everyone back and he misses me "as a friend", he really wanted to be my friend, he thinks I don't care, he says I'm a great girl we've had so much good times and he wants those times back, when he saw me that day, he felt sad, the kind of sad when you miss somebody and he just really goes into depth about wanting to be my friend and misses me. My friend and I are just confused... How can you miss someone "as a friend" if you could only possibly miss the time when we were together? How could want those good times back if you could only get it back if we were together again? He says all of these things BUT he says he is incredibly sure of everything he wants right now.. meaning he still loves his new girl, doesn't want me back but wants to be my friend again. He mentions that his current girlfriend is going away for the whole summer, so he will probably only want to talk to me cause he's bored...

 

Right now this very moment, 3 days have past since that day and I've been following the "No contact Rule." I've heard many miracles about it but I'm not using to make my ex do anything like miss me (even though he already said so) or panic. I just think he really needs space and time to think. Everyday thats coming along, I'm learning to be okay without him. And theres something inside me thats hoping he would change and realize his decisions were pretty extreme and want me back, but that part might not stay for long.

 

Anyway, what do you think of this whole thing...? Sorry that I wrote a lot. I just didn't want to leave any detail out.... Doubt anyone would read this

Edited June 28, 2014 by BunnybooXO

[jbelle6]

Okay so, last week, my ex boyfriend broke up with me... through text. Not sure what went wrong but he said that he was breaking up with me because he thought he was "causing me problems". But I said he wasn't, it was something at home, and I got through it. We were perfectly fine but he didn't listen. Later that day of the breakup, after all the apologizing, long explanation paragraphs, he tells me.... He's dating someone new. I just.. looked shocked and felt kinda worse, and it was less than day.. So quickly. Not a month, a week, a day after the breakup. So now I'm thinking, oh he probably met this girl while we were together. And before the breakup he even asked how would I feel if he had feelings towards another girl. So maybe his real reason of the breakup was that he found someone else. Later that week, we got into a big argument. I was just still unclear of what happened so my friend (his friend too) decided to tell him that and we got into an argument. He and I said things we would've never said to each other before. But the things he said.. were pretty harsh. Then 3 days later he asked my best friend if I was alright and that he didn't mean the things he said. He told her he said those things to make me feel like he's out of my life for good. So she got him and I to apologize to each other. He told me he still cared about me and wants to be friends again. I didn't what I wanted at the moment so I just said ok... After that we didn't talk.

 

 

This week, I'm actually feeling so much better than before, with all the help and support from all my friends. Few days ago, I attended to a graduation ceremony. He was there and he saw me all happy and hyper around all my friends. I didn't pay attention to him and I wasn't trying to prove anything to him at all. Later that day when I got home, I got a text from my best friend, showing me screenshots of their conversation. In short of all the screenshots, he was telling my friend, that he wanted everyone back and he misses me "as a friend", he really wanted to be my friend, he thinks I don't care, he says I'm a great girl we've had so much good times and he wants those times back, when he saw me that day, he felt sad, the kind of sad when you miss somebody and he just really goes into depth about wanting to be my friend and misses me. My friend and I are just confused... How can you miss someone "as a friend" if you could only possibly miss the time when we were together? How could want those good times back if you could only get it back if we were together again? He says all of these things BUT he says he is incredibly sure of everything he wants right now.. meaning he still loves his new girl, doesn't want me back but wants to be my friend again. He mentions that his current girlfriend is going away for the whole summer, so he will probably only want to talk to me cause he's bored...

 

Right now this very moment, 3 days have past since that day and I've been following the "No contact Rule." I've heard many miracles about it but I'm not using to make my ex do anything like miss me (even though he already said so) or panic. I just think he really needs space and time to think. Everyday thats coming along, I'm learning to be okay without him. And theres something inside me thats hoping he would change and realize his decisions were pretty extreme and want me back, but that part might not stay for long.

 

Anyway, what do you think of this whole thing...? Sorry that I wrote a lot. I just didn't want to leave any detail out.... Doubt anyone would read this

 

 

 

Hey there. Sorry about your break up, I know it's hard.

 

First I guess I will say that to me it's pretty obvious he met this girl and probably cheated while you were together at the end. As you said, he asked how you would feel if he had feelings for someone else before your breakup. That would make me not ever want him back.

 

As for the "friends" part and how could he want to be friends, I don't get why they do that either, but if you read around on here, it seems all the dumpers go that route. Not sure if it's guilt or wanting to keep us on the back burner, but they all do that. I assume you guys have mutual friends as well so he might want to keep things civil for that reason. They just want to have their cake and eat it too, you would still be in his life, and his new girlfriend would be in his life.

 

It's all pretty typical breakup stuff. I would stick to your no contact, should be easier in the summer to do so. Just get out with your friends and have fun.

 

Good luck! I promise it feels better after a few weeks.

[BunnybooXO]

Thank you soooo much!!! :bunny: