Leroy82 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 I know all about the NC rule. What about someone that was never a serious relationship but you were crazy about. I dated a girl last fall that lasted a few months and it ended because she was going through a divorce and didn't want a serious relationship (ended by me, I want a serious relationship. I didn't want to share her with other guys). We spoke a few times at the start of the year but nothing ever came of it (mostly by her not showing interest). Yesterday, I came across her online dating profile and thought of shooting her a friendly "hello". I would really like to see her again but was really sad when we broke up. I've been in a great mood until now. I'm a nervous reck after seeing her profile. I feel my pride would take a hit if she doesn't reply back. I also know if she was really into me she would of contacted me long before. I'm just asking what would you all do? I know it seems simple and silly but in my mind its not. I don't want to be hurt again by her. Its funny when we broke-up my friends said I dodged a bullet. We have nothing in common. She's a homebody with kids. She has Chrohn's disease. She was sick a lot when we dated. I'm very active with no kids. I enjoy travel and trying new things (unlike her). But, there is something about her that sticks with me. I'm attracted to the damaged girl. I know its F'up. I have a big heart. I want to help people. Its how I am. So….
preraph Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 She knows where to find you if she's ever interested and she knows what you want in a relationship. If she's interested, she could contact you. You say you ended it, but she's who said she didn't want a serious relationship, so at best, that's a draw. She didn't want what you wanted. It is a bad time right after a divorce and I do think people should wait six months or a year before they date, but many don't and it usually just ends in a mess, in my experience. 2
PegNosePete Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 I know all about the NC rule. Well then it appears you don't. It is not a "rule". It is a guideline to help you move on and heal after a painful breakup. What do you think it is? Some kind of magic trick to get an ex back? Yes if she wanted you back she would contact you. Stick to NC dude.
AliOop Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Leroy, I went through something similar some time back. Don't contact her - it will only make you feel bad if she doesn't reply. If she wanted a relationship with you, she knows how to find you. I appreciate that you have a big heart (don't change a thing about that) but use your big heart to protect YOU. 2
Author Leroy82 Posted June 27, 2014 Author Posted June 27, 2014 Well then it appears you don't. It is not a "rule". It is a guideline to help you move on and heal after a painful breakup. What do you think it is? Some kind of magic trick to get an ex back? Thanks Guys, I appreciate the comments. I feel better hearing this. For the recored I know its not a "rule" And I know its not for getting people back. I was just using slang to describe my story. I guess what I'm looking for is someone to put me in my place. Sometimes its nice to get a quick kick in the ass. To get you where you need to be. 1
AliOop Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 "Sometimes its nice to get a quick kick in the ass. To get you where you need to be." Boy oh boy can I identify with this. This forum, even lurking in it, has certainly helped me. Good people here! 1
kane30us Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 "Boy oh boy can I identify with this. This forum, even lurking in it, has certainly helped me" That's the thing with dealing with heartache, you feel you're alone in the world and you never will get over the pain of missing someone. So Its nice to hear you're not alone. It really helps reading these blogs
spiderowl Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 If she knows you wanted a serious relationship and she didn't and she knows that's why you broke up with her, then there is no point in contacting her. She knows what you wanted and, for whatever reason, couldn't provide that for you. I'm sorry because you clearly cared a lot for her. I'm older, so I know that throughout life we do meet new 'crushes' who we care for and are capable of falling in love with, so give it time and you will feel the same about someone else who will reciprocate that.
kane30us Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 One more thing. Listen to your friends. If they say you dodged a bullet then you dodged a bullet! That's a major responsibility dating someone who's ill and has kids. You sound like you cared about her but let this one go. You will look back at this and say thank god! What was I thinking!
Assasda Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 I just think OP has a problem meeting other ladies so he wants that old thing back. Leave her alone
Author Leroy82 Posted June 27, 2014 Author Posted June 27, 2014 I just think OP has a problem meeting other ladies so he wants that old thing back. Leave her alone You could not be further from the truth. AND you have nothing to go on to make that statement. I have no problems landing dates. I just had one last Sunday and I have one on Saturday. The issue is; the girl I want to date is the one I need to get over. ALSO, she's not a "thing". 1
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