katinlc Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Hi all, I've been trying the whole online thing for the last few months and, of course, the main guys interested in me are either way older or way younger. I'm 33 and initially looking for guys 31-39. However, it seems that I have a difficult time finding anyone suitable in this age bracket. Most are just coming out of divorces, lives are a mess, and are not looking for anything serious. I've never been married, no kids, great career, etc... and am looking to find someone to settle down with. This brings me to my question about dating younger guys. I've received a ton of messages from guys 23-28. I generally just immediately send back a "hey thanks for the message, but you're way too young for me" message and leave it at that. I'm just wondering if maybe I should give these guys a chance. Could it be possible that a 25 or 28 year old could have their lives more together if they haven't been married, etc...? Maybe they are actually more ready to settle down at that age for the first time? I'm just wondering what people's thoughts are and if anyone has had any experience with dating someone younger.
Andy_K Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 The younger guys write because they think you're more likely to sleep with them. If you want more than that, I'd suggest sticking to your own age group. 1
FitChick Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 There are men in their late 20s who are ready to settle down. You just have to vet them carefully. Might take a little longer but you will be happy when you find one. My friend married his wife, who was eight years older, when he was 28. He found women his own age and younger to be too immature. 1
Purepony Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I'm turning 30 this year, no kids, no drama, good job.. there's hope out there .. I'm just saying
d0nnivain Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 My husband is 5 years younger than I am. He is the only younger man I have ever dated. I'd give the 27 - 28 year olds a chance. Much younger than 25, he'd have to be pretty extraordinary & very mature for me to want more than a brief flirtation. 1
preraph Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I definitely dated younger guys in my late twenties and 30s. They were still a part of my peer group, though, my natural crowd I hung out with, a music crowd. If I had to draw a line or boundary (since you're talking about dating more or less strangers as opposed to what I was doing) I'd draw it at under 25. I had a lot of young guys wanting to date me and hang with me even up until I was 40, but most of them under 25 were too flaky and scattered out and BROKE and threatened by my, well, solvency. Sigh. I did have one guy I really loved who was under that age, and we had a flirtation that lasted at least 10 years and if we ran into each other today, decades later, we would still care about each other, but because he wasn't a flake and wanted kids and all that, of course, he was far too responsible to get real serious with me because it couldn't go anywhere. But a guy in his late twenties to a hip and/or good looking woman in her early 30s shouldn't be a big deal unless you're in a hurry to have kids and he is practical and doesn't think he'll be ready to settle down to have kids for another 10 years. But for just developing relationships, I don't see any other impediment to that if you can attract them and keep them interested other than the settling down and having kids issue.
Dallers Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I am 28 and I am looking for a woman not a girl. I only go for women ranging from 28-35. Reason is not because I think you will sleep with me, FAR from it. I am sick and tired of these silly little girls that want to play games. I want a woman, who has experienced life and been hurt and knows what she wants and is a challenge for me. By not going for the slightly younger guys trust me you have probably missed out on many a good guy. Including guys like me 3
d0nnivain Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I am 28 and I am looking for a woman not a girl. I only go for women ranging from 28-35. Reason is not because I think you will sleep with me, FAR from it. I am sick and tired of these silly little girls that want to play games. I want a woman, who has experienced life and been hurt and knows what she wants and is a challenge for me. By not going for the slightly younger guys trust me you have probably missed out on many a good guy. Including guys like me Reading posts like this makes me think I squandered my 20s by not trying to live in London for a while. Thanks for the pick me up Dallers. 1
me85 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I'm seeing a guy six years younger than me and he is far beyond his years. We haven't known each other long and it's only a fling but I'm pleasantly surprised with his level of maturity. I found him on Tinder. He's only in my hometown temporarily for work, so I'm not getting too cozy, but he's a great guy some lucky girl will have as a serious boyfriend someday. I've NEVER gone out with someone that much younger than me. There has only been only one other guy younger, but he was like 2 years younger, not SIX! I say go for it. It seems to me women my age (29) and older these days aren't as serious about RSs anymore. The shoe is on the other foot. Now more and more guys in their early to mid 20's are serious about RSs and not playing the field.
Targetlock Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Well I'm 28 and trying to find a real commitment, never had much real relationship but just trying to find that one special someone for me the rest of my life, because love to me is a game and that would be winning. love is about quality over quantity, and would much rather have one great relationship than a string of affairs and one night stands. and yes I would consider dating an older woman and having been advised to by friends due to my maturity level, worth a try i guess
Elle1975 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Hi all, I've been trying the whole online thing for the last few months and, of course, the main guys interested in me are either way older or way younger. I'm 33 and initially looking for guys 31-39. However, it seems that I have a difficult time finding anyone suitable in this age bracket. Most are just coming out of divorces, lives are a mess, and are not looking for anything serious. I've never been married, no kids, great career, etc... and am looking to find someone to settle down with. This brings me to my question about dating younger guys. I've received a ton of messages from guys 23-28. I generally just immediately send back a "hey thanks for the message, but you're way too young for me" message and leave it at that. I'm just wondering if maybe I should give these guys a chance. Could it be possible that a 25 or 28 year old could have their lives more together if they haven't been married, etc...? Maybe they are actually more ready to settle down at that age for the first time? I'm just wondering what people's thoughts are and if anyone has had any experience with dating someone younger. Personally Id date someone your age, 28 is as low as I would go. I personally like men my age or a few years older up to 50 (I'm 40)
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 (edited) Oh yes, this all sounds so familiar... When I jumped back in the dating pool again at 40, I originally set my sights on dating men that were my age give or take a couple of years on either side. Nope. I got the same response as you; either they were much older or much younger than me. Finding interested men even close to my age felt like mission impossible. I stuck to my guns for a while until one of my girlfriends scolded me for being too picky. She said I was likely missing out on meeting some great guys but I wouldn't know it because I wasn't giving anyone a chance. And so I did (properly vetted of course). And I realized what a fool I was in the end. I'm now in a LTR with a man 13 years younger and I couldn't be happier. I think it's important to know what you want and what you're looking for before venturing beyond your original age range. That will certainly help vet out those men (younger or older) who aren't on the same page as you. Or better yet, perhaps you might just realize that all you're really wanting/needing is Mr. Right Now rather than Mr. Right. Is that such a bad thing? Edited June 26, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle 2
SugarLips72 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I have done online dating and chatted and met many guys who were in their 30's and never married no kids. I date younger guys all the time. Early 20's is too young. most of those guys just want to get laid and party and sleep with an older woman. Late 20's I would date in a heartbeat. I'm dating a 29 yr old single dad I met on Tinder.
Author katinlc Posted June 27, 2014 Author Posted June 27, 2014 Thanks all for your responses. I love the different perspectives because it makes me see things in different ways. I guess my biggest hesitation with younger men is I have always been an old soul - my family jokes that I'm a 50 year old trapped in a 33 year old body. My profile clearly states that I'm not into hook-ups, ONS, live a Christian lifestyle, blah, blah, but I've learned that I must still heavily screen. I tried talking with a 28 year old earlier this week who seemed nice and we exchanged a few messages. That night about 10:00pm I got a message from him asking if "I wanted company". That's when I started re-thinking things. I guess I need to just screen, screen, screen! So why do all the single 30 year olds that have it together live in UK? Where's all the Tennessee guys, lol?
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Thanks all for your responses. I love the different perspectives because it makes me see things in different ways. I guess my biggest hesitation with younger men is I have always been an old soul - my family jokes that I'm a 50 year old trapped in a 33 year old body. My profile clearly states that I'm not into hook-ups, ONS, live a Christian lifestyle, blah, blah, but I've learned that I must still heavily screen. I tried talking with a 28 year old earlier this week who seemed nice and we exchanged a few messages. That night about 10:00pm I got a message from him asking if "I wanted company". That's when I started re-thinking things. I guess I need to just screen, screen, screen! So why do all the single 30 year olds that have it together live in UK? Where's all the Tennessee guys, lol? Not true. My man is from North Carolina. He's 32 and a very old soul. Most of the time I feel like he's my age or even older. They're out there. Don't you worry about that
SugarLips72 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 My 29 year old guy is mature. he is a Dad so that is why. I also met a law student/military man who was only 27 and very mature and very knowledgeable on history and was well traveled and cultured at his young age. It sucks we did not work out our schedules didn't allow it and he wound up kind being a jerk. A little too uptight. You can soon weed out the idiots and immature creeps looking for sex and soon as they send you a pic of their dick. Its so disrespectful yet so many guys do it. Me and my 29 yr old have absolutely great sex despite the fact he has never sent me a dick pic. He did admit to me a few chicks sent him nude pics and he never intended on meeting them after it. If you want to be treated like a lady, act like one. Be picky. Screen guys. After a few days of messaging ask to text. Make sure a guy is local before you bother with him.
Author katinlc Posted June 27, 2014 Author Posted June 27, 2014 You can soon weed out the idiots and immature creeps looking for sex and soon as they send you a pic of their dick. Its so disrespectful yet so many guys do it. Hmm, I guess I should be extremely grateful that I have yet to receive a "dick pic". Maybe I'm a better screener than I thought
thekid36 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Hmm, I guess I should be extremely grateful that I have yet to receive a "dick pic". Maybe I'm a better screener than I thought Personally, I think that the age of a person does not mean much. It makes me nervous when some focus too much on this. Not that all of us are the same. Nor that it should not be some sort of factor. I just think that some guys in their 20's are very mature and that many in their 40's are sort of immature. Life experience may even mean a little more than age. There are just more important things to be on the lookout for. In my opinion, of course. Any stranger who would even consider sending you a picture of his dick would be most likely be placed under the category of immature. Not to mention perhaps a few other ones as well. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Personally, I think that the age of a person does not mean much. It makes me nervous when some focus too much on this. Not that all of us are the same. Nor that it should not be some sort of factor. I just think that some guys in their 20's are very mature and that many in their 40's are sort of immature. Life experience may even mean a little more than age. There are just more important things to be on the lookout for. In my opinion, of course. Any stranger who would even consider sending you a picture of his dick would be most likely be placed under the category of immature. Not to mention perhaps a few other ones as well. The irony for me was that it was usually men MY age that jumped straight into cybering/sexting as well as begging to exchange naughty pics. The younger guys? Rarely had that problem.
thekid36 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 The irony for me was that it was usually men MY age that jumped straight into cybering/sexting as well as begging to exchange naughty pics. The younger guys? Rarely had that problem. This happens to be exactly what I speak of! Age is absolutely not the most important factor. And, I could be crazy. But to me, this is just totally disrespectful. Also, I could be wrong as well. But, the intent when sharing sexual thoughts or pictures would most likely be to arouse someone, yes? I just don't see how sending a woman something like that out of the blue would successfully turn many on. Sad that some of us men do not realize that for a woman, sexual arousal does not even begin inside of the bedroom. It more starts outside of it and within the mind. 1
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